BtVS Season 1 Continues ... With A Painful Episode

[debris4spike]

One of the "problems" I have when I decide to re-watch a series is that I tend to not want to see certain episodes.

I am re-watching 3 series at present and with Stargate I am skipping an odd episode, but with Blakes 7 and BtVS I am being a good girl and watching them all ... even those that I don't want to.

In doing so it makes me see bits of the

Comments

[diebirchen]

I think that you're a terrific person, and you are now who and what you are now. However you got there and through whatever it took, you're you!

[debris4spike]

Thank you - bullying leaves you "knowing" you are not terrific. LJ has been great at helping me realise how wrong those thoughts are.

*hugs*

[diebirchen]

The primary thing we realize from bullying is that the bully has serious personal issues, some if not most dealing with lack of self-worth. And about that, his/her own lack of self-worth, the bully is correct.

[debris4spike]

Hard to remember that they are the ones with problems when you are fighting the pain they bring ... even though it's true!

[enigmaticblues]

I agree that I find "The Pack" hard to watch for many of the reasons you name.

[debris4spike]

Thanks - I am determined to watch them all ... but this is a hard episode to watc, certainly not one to "enjoy"

[fudgepickles]

Being bullied is why I did not attend my high school reunion. I have reconnected with some high school people since I got on FB, but I laugh at others. I see comments on other people's pages made by people who were cruel to me and I laugh. Why? Most of their comments have to do with religion and being a proper Christian. Still two-faced as ever. Sadly, they probably don't even remember what they said or did.

[debris4spike]

I almost went to my school reunion to try to prove I survived. As it turned out I couldn't go ... and am glad, cos I think on the day I would never have made it through the doors!

I have re-connected with a couple on FB ... but htose 2 are people I got on "OK"ish with ... so can traet them lightly as I am not a real FB fan anyway.

Yes, if some of those who caused the problem went to friend me I would be stunned!

Yes, faith was a big problem for me ... and my parents support gave a strict upbringing a tougher side. However it has also given me a stregth to know what I nelieve.

Yes, like you I wonder if those involved ever know what they did. Like Xander on BtVS ... as the series progresses, his prejudices just increase, blindly.

[fudgepickles]

Hmmm.... I never noticed Xander's prejudices increasing throughout the series. Was there a particular episode you found it most obvious? I shall have to go back and watch a few.

[debris4spike]

I suppose it started with me not liking him here and then I notice it!

I think seeing him try to kill Spike for sleeping with his ex ... yet cheating on Cordy with Willow in the previous year.

I suppose his overall pattern was based on this attempted rape, and his love/lust for Buffy. Not a character I like, but a necessary one for the flow of the story.

[velvetwhip]

Surviving bullying is an achievement. *offers you a heartfelt hug*

Gabrielle

[debris4spike]

Thank you - LJ has been a God-send in making me realise that I am a survivor.

*hugs*

[velvetwhip]

I am so glad you've found that affirmation and comfort here. Because you are and that's something of which you deserve to be proud. And thank you for sharing your experience because you're definitely shining a light for others who might feel alone in the dark themselves.

Gabrielle

[debris4spike]

Until I had frinds on LJ I hadn't realised how deep the pain was. I just accepted feelings of rejection ... now I have friends.

I also realised that there are many people who have suffered similar ... and wont stand up and say it. So I hope that in saying so it will help to heal my pain ... but get others to begin to pout their lives back together.

*hugs*

[appomattoxco]

I won't rewatch that one you're stronger than I am. I was bullied and abused in school until I moved in HS by that time I was so scared of my peers that I quit trying to connect with others and was teased for being strange. It was Star Trek and BtVS fandom that gave me a safe place to be the social person I was meant to be.

[debris4spike]

For me the feeling of lonliness and rejection is always there - but I have learned to say so ... in doing that I have begun to put the pieces back together. LJ friendship has been amazing in this.

I will admit that yesterday, after typing the above report, I had a "bad" day. But I am fighting back again.

Why should the baddies win ... we will stand up to them. Together, with the many others out there, we will show that we are amazing people.

*hugs*