[FIC] More Dear than Christmas (PG) 1/2 for Kitty_alex
Gift type: Fanfic
Title: More Dear than Christmas
Recipient: kitty_alex
Author: chibifukurou
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mpreg, Slash
Spoilers: Season 4
Summary: When he’d agreed to let Cas bear their child this wasn’t what he expected.
Part 1
Right after the Birds and the Bees talk the first thing John Winchester had taught his sons, was that they were never, under any circumstances, allowed to get a girl pregnant. Oh, he wasn’t against the idea of having grandkids someday, he just didn’t want to ever have grandkids that would be threatened by Azazel, a conviction that Dean had whole-heartedly supported. Aware as he was of the pain that came from watching a parent die.
Sammy hadn’t understood that sort of thing, he was obsessed with having a normal life. A normal life Dean had always assumed would one day include a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. He had prepared himself to yell Sammy’s ear off for being stupid then spoil the kids rotten, he hadn’t prepared himself for being the stupid one. Yet here he was considering fatherhood, even if there wasn’t a white picket fence in sight.
Azazel might not be on the horizon any more, but Lucifer and Michael were, and he isn’t stupid enough to think that either side would refrain from using his child against his family. He tells himself that having a child during the Apolcalypse is stupid and promised himself that he wasn’t going to do it but he keeps daydreaming about holding a little boy or girl with Castiel’s eyes and his dimples anyway. His ability to ignore those dreams and stick to his promise isn’t being helped by the serious and questioning looks Castiel keeps sending him when they get together.
“Dean,” Castiel’s voice cuts through the quiet of the hotel room and Dean can’t help thinking that he appears at the worst times like this on purpose. Even if he’s not, Dean doesn’t want to talk to him right now, which means hunching further over his fourth beer and acting like he hasn’t noticed Castiel’s entrance. Like they don’t both know that he can feel Castiel’s presence even when Cas is only using his astral form to check in on him.
That knowledge probably explained why Castiel doesn’t even comment on the fact that Dean is ignoring him and keeps talking. “Dean,” he says sounding far guiltier than he has any right to, “I understand that you are reluctant to have a child with me. Fatherhood is a heavy weight even for an angel, but I want to know that we will have no regrets when one of us dies. Waiting to have a child until it is safe would be pointless, there will always be danger for beings like us.”
Dean can’t help feeling enraged at how resigned Castiel sounds about the fact that their child will constantly be in danger and given how drunk he is it’s no surprise when he can’t hold his tongue. He finds himself yelling, “How can you expect me to be willing to bring a child, our child, into the world knowing all that awaits it?” He manages to stop himself from saying more, or at least he does until he sees Castiel opening his mouth, then all hell breaks loose again when he yells, “Don’t give me that God will provide crap, Cas. Your God is the God that decided Mom needed to die, why should I trust him to decide on a better destiny for our child?”
Castiel looks stricken, whether from the irreverence Dean showed to his father or because he never thought about the point Dean made; Dean doesn’t know, and can’t bring himself to care as he slams his way out of the rundown hotel room he’s been staying at and heads to the local bar. Somehow sitting around drinking beers on his own no longer seems like enough of an escape.
When he gets back to the hotel it’s so late it’s early but Cas is still there perched on the side of the bed. Dean once again chooses to ignore him, this time with more success. Though if he was in the mood to be honest he’d admit that his success probably has more to do with Cas’s decision not to speak than any ability on his part. Sammy always was better at playing bitchy.
Despite the fact that he knows Cas is humoring him he gets ready for bed and acts like Cas isn’t there. Vainly hoping that his stubborn lover will get the idea that he’s not in the condition or mood to talk. When Cas strips and slides into bed with him Dean can’t decide if Cas is following his wishes or not. They’re not talking but Dean half-way wants to throw out their bed anyway just for being so obnoxious. He doesn’t of course because Cas is warm and comfortable but having the thought lets him hang onto his admittedly tattered masculine pride.
His last thought before he falls asleep is that he doesn’t want to keep fighting with Cas. It’s just too hard when he wants everything Cas wants but is just too much of a realist to go for it.
…
Castiel does not understand humans. He loves them but he does not understand them, particularly not Dean. He knows that Dean wants a child more than anything but Dean will not let Castiel bear their child.
He understands that Dean fears for the life their child will lead should they fall to the apocalypse but he has faith that his father will look after their child should anything happen to them. Despite Dean’s earlier words he is unwilling to believe that his father would abandon their child because of their sins.
He knows that it might take some time but he is sure that it is his father’s will that they have a child together. That belief means that he is confidant that someday when his father wills it Dean will be ready for them to have a child.
Next Part
Title: More Dear than Christmas
Recipient: kitty_alex
Author: chibifukurou
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mpreg, Slash
Spoilers: Season 4
Summary: When he’d agreed to let Cas bear their child this wasn’t what he expected.
Part 1
Right after the Birds and the Bees talk the first thing John Winchester had taught his sons, was that they were never, under any circumstances, allowed to get a girl pregnant. Oh, he wasn’t against the idea of having grandkids someday, he just didn’t want to ever have grandkids that would be threatened by Azazel, a conviction that Dean had whole-heartedly supported. Aware as he was of the pain that came from watching a parent die.
Sammy hadn’t understood that sort of thing, he was obsessed with having a normal life. A normal life Dean had always assumed would one day include a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. He had prepared himself to yell Sammy’s ear off for being stupid then spoil the kids rotten, he hadn’t prepared himself for being the stupid one. Yet here he was considering fatherhood, even if there wasn’t a white picket fence in sight.
Azazel might not be on the horizon any more, but Lucifer and Michael were, and he isn’t stupid enough to think that either side would refrain from using his child against his family. He tells himself that having a child during the Apolcalypse is stupid and promised himself that he wasn’t going to do it but he keeps daydreaming about holding a little boy or girl with Castiel’s eyes and his dimples anyway. His ability to ignore those dreams and stick to his promise isn’t being helped by the serious and questioning looks Castiel keeps sending him when they get together.
“Dean,” Castiel’s voice cuts through the quiet of the hotel room and Dean can’t help thinking that he appears at the worst times like this on purpose. Even if he’s not, Dean doesn’t want to talk to him right now, which means hunching further over his fourth beer and acting like he hasn’t noticed Castiel’s entrance. Like they don’t both know that he can feel Castiel’s presence even when Cas is only using his astral form to check in on him.
That knowledge probably explained why Castiel doesn’t even comment on the fact that Dean is ignoring him and keeps talking. “Dean,” he says sounding far guiltier than he has any right to, “I understand that you are reluctant to have a child with me. Fatherhood is a heavy weight even for an angel, but I want to know that we will have no regrets when one of us dies. Waiting to have a child until it is safe would be pointless, there will always be danger for beings like us.”
Dean can’t help feeling enraged at how resigned Castiel sounds about the fact that their child will constantly be in danger and given how drunk he is it’s no surprise when he can’t hold his tongue. He finds himself yelling, “How can you expect me to be willing to bring a child, our child, into the world knowing all that awaits it?” He manages to stop himself from saying more, or at least he does until he sees Castiel opening his mouth, then all hell breaks loose again when he yells, “Don’t give me that God will provide crap, Cas. Your God is the God that decided Mom needed to die, why should I trust him to decide on a better destiny for our child?”
Castiel looks stricken, whether from the irreverence Dean showed to his father or because he never thought about the point Dean made; Dean doesn’t know, and can’t bring himself to care as he slams his way out of the rundown hotel room he’s been staying at and heads to the local bar. Somehow sitting around drinking beers on his own no longer seems like enough of an escape.
When he gets back to the hotel it’s so late it’s early but Cas is still there perched on the side of the bed. Dean once again chooses to ignore him, this time with more success. Though if he was in the mood to be honest he’d admit that his success probably has more to do with Cas’s decision not to speak than any ability on his part. Sammy always was better at playing bitchy.
Despite the fact that he knows Cas is humoring him he gets ready for bed and acts like Cas isn’t there. Vainly hoping that his stubborn lover will get the idea that he’s not in the condition or mood to talk. When Cas strips and slides into bed with him Dean can’t decide if Cas is following his wishes or not. They’re not talking but Dean half-way wants to throw out their bed anyway just for being so obnoxious. He doesn’t of course because Cas is warm and comfortable but having the thought lets him hang onto his admittedly tattered masculine pride.
His last thought before he falls asleep is that he doesn’t want to keep fighting with Cas. It’s just too hard when he wants everything Cas wants but is just too much of a realist to go for it.
…
Castiel does not understand humans. He loves them but he does not understand them, particularly not Dean. He knows that Dean wants a child more than anything but Dean will not let Castiel bear their child.
He understands that Dean fears for the life their child will lead should they fall to the apocalypse but he has faith that his father will look after their child should anything happen to them. Despite Dean’s earlier words he is unwilling to believe that his father would abandon their child because of their sins.
He knows that it might take some time but he is sure that it is his father’s will that they have a child together. That belief means that he is confidant that someday when his father wills it Dean will be ready for them to have a child.
Next Part