Fast Car

May 10, 2009 00:02

fast car [riding in cars with boys]
yoochun/junsu ♥ idek, romance? angst, possibly
Junsu just wants to run away with Yoochun and never look back, never come back
for
c_h_i_b_i ♥ because you're my new friend and i adore you, bb :D
loosely (and i mean loosely) inspired by the song "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman, wonderful song
2,817 words ; unbeta'd ; band!verse



"You Got A Fast Car, But Is It Fast Enough So We Can Fly Away”

Sometimes the nights are stifling.

Junsu wakes to the snores of Changmin ringing in his ears and the summer heat pressing down on his tanned skin. He stares at the ceiling, white and stale, as the world stands still around him. He holds his breath, - one two three four five six -, cheeks puffed out and heart hammering wildly. The tension builds up only until it is absolutely necessary to breathe, and yet he still feels barely alive.

This room this life is killing him slowly…

Changmin’s snores increase in volume and pitch, and oddly enough it’s set to a specific tune that sends his head thoughts spiraling out of control. He hears heavy beats and a sultry voice, a song that lets butterflies erupt within his lower abdomen, and it’s more than enough to bring tears to Junsu’s eyes. He hates being this weak, never is he one to show his flaws, but succumbs to the somber feeling inside his petite frame.

He tiredly pulls his aching limbs off the messy bed, tiptoes away from the slumbering boy beside him, and he treads his way into the darkened hallway where he can barely make out a silhouetted figure basking in the dim moonlight. The nights are short, but in this world they live in, every day feels like forever.

Forever is too long to waste on a life like this…

He creeps through the maze of furniture that rest in their places, untouched for hours and empty without the presence of the resident band members. He lets his hand trail across the spine of the sofa, his feet leading the way to the familiar figure just barely out of his reach.

There is something about the night sky that draws Yoochun in, but Junsu is not sure he knows or will ever know what it is exactly. He can stare at it for hours and never grow tired, his soulful eyes searching the spacious skies looking for answers, wishing on falling stars, praying to the heavens above him. Junsu watches from his place, leaning against the open door to the balcony that overlooks the city that shines so bright on summer nights like these.

Pale hands grip at the cold railing that bars the young man from plummeting down to the hard cement below, arms tightened with clenched fists, and Junsu can make out every vein in the taut arms that wrap around him sometimes. The blood that pumps through his body maps out tiny designs that shine through the almost clear skin of Yoochun, and sometimes Junsu fears that if he blinks Yoochun might be gone.

Yoochun is only here for the night, opting to stay in the joint apartment Korea’s most famous boy band shares instead of having to drive back home to his mother and brother. Junsu feels like it has been years since he last saw the man before him, but he knows that it has only been a little less than a few hours. He crosses his arms over his chest out of habit, still gazing at the back of the head that is no longer gazing into the far out horizon but rather the world below him.

The night is still unmoving and nothing has changed since they had retired to their rooms. The moon hangs overhead, casting its eerie glow across their balcony, that’s much too grey and cold on Junsu’s bare feet. Yoochun does not seem to mind, though, wrapped up in his own thoughts and the emotions lingering in his soft features.

He brings a slender white stick to his light pink lips, and he looks so sick and small so tired and ready to give up in the night that looms around them. He lets it fall from his grip after taking a drag, the white-grey smoke leaving his parted lips, and the cigarette drops unceremoniously to the asphalt that lies directly below. The fiery tip skitters across the top of a tenants bright red convertible, damaging the glossy surface with its embers, and it’s the only thing that moves in the quiet of the night.

“Come here, Junsu.”

Junsu steps out of the shadows, having been spotted by his best friend, and slumps his back against the railing that could fail on him at any moment. He does not think too much on that, though, because he knows that those milk white arms - that seem weaker than they are - will catch him if he ever fell.

Yoochun’s eyes are deep and tired, purple bags decorate the undersides of them, and there is a watery sheen that wells up in the eyes that penetrate all Junsu’s beliefs and religions. “How long has it been?”

“Too long,” Junsu answers after stopping to think for a moment. He lost count after five years plus two hundred and thirty-seven days, but maybe it’s more or less; this days blend and he’s not too sure anymore.

Yoochun makes a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, hands relaxing on the cool rail only to tighten back again. “It’s been a long journey, and it’s still going even now.”

Junsu furrows his brows, determination seeping within his endless dark brown orbs, and lets his hand grip onto a dainty wrist that is barely a fraction of a centimeter away from his hands.

“Let’s get away from here. Tonight. Right now.”

And that is all it takes for them to leave the dull apartment and the world that remains asleep.

They leave a brief note for the others to read before they exit the apartment. We’re out. It never says where they are or when they’ll arrive back at the apartment, and it holds no promises. It is simple and short; Junsu just wants to run away with Yoochun and never look back, never come back.

Junsu is right behind Yoochun as they walk briskly toward the elder’s car. He unlocks the doors, opening the passenger side for Junsu just like the gentleman he is, and then slips quickly into his own leather cushioned seat. It is risky business from there on out as the dangling key chains clink together while he lets the engine roar loudly in the tranquil area.

Junsu makes sure no one is around, knowing the amounts of trouble the band will be in if they were to be caught this late at night early in the morning, almost dawn. Even if he wants to leave this world behind, he doesn’t want to bring the other band members into this chaotic mess he and Yoochun have created. He tangles his fingers with Yoochun’s across the gear shift, tightening them until his knuckles turn white and his friend flinches from the pain. There is never a voice of complaint; Junsu never loosens his grip.

Yoochun drives his car steadily through the large city only set aglow by street lamps and headlights. There are not many people out at this time, only the occasional worker going to and from work, and Junsu pays no mind to them or what they might think. They cannot stop him now, not when he’s getting ready to spread his wings.

The city whizzes past them, a blur of bright lights and colorful signs, and Junsu just wishes for it all to disappear. Seoul is hazy in his mind and Junsu is more than happy to escape this city even if it all ends at daybreak. He thinks that maybe if they drive faster the world around them will fade from existence.

Yoochun takes a turn, one familiar to Junsu even if it has been what feels like years since they’ve done this, and rolls down the windows to enjoy the wind that whips through their hair. They are leaving the city, going down well worn paths that seem to be only a faint memory now for the baritenor, and there are no lights to illuminate this country road…

… but they both know this way by heart and that is all it takes for Yoochun to navigate his way along hills and curves, Junsu forever by his side.

Junsu unlatches his seat belt, pulling half his body out the open window to get a taste of the freedom that surrounds them. Out here he is just Junsu and his friend is simply Yoochun. There are no bright flashes of cameras or lectures on proper conduct.

Tonight they are two young boys hopelessly in love and caught up in the world that threatens to take over them.

“Go faster,” Junsu coaxes, slender fingers gripping onto the frame of the door, still leaning out into the night, almost as if it will engulf him if he presses forward anymore.

Yoochun casts a wary glance to the younger, hesitantly pushing his foot more so on the gas pedal until the car accelerates to a speed that satisfies them both. Junsu feels high, drunk off the feeling of the breeze caressing his face delicately, and the car is defying all concepts of gravity as it flies through the countryside that Junsu has become well acquainted with throughout the years.

“Come back inside, Junnie,” Yoochun cries out desperately, noticing the faraway and dreamy look that is plastered across the baritenor’s face.

He stretches his fingers out, eyes remaining on the road and his foot laying off the pedal so that the car is no longer flying. But it stays gliding; Junsu is soaring high above the clouds, but he lets himself fall back down to where Yoochun is. He always wants to remain beside the man that helps lift him up so that he can actually spread his wings.

“You can’t leave me,” the driver whispers, cloudy haze over his eyes as he locks their hands tight with each other once more. Not yet, Junsu; don’t leave me yet.

Junsu smiles that perfect smile of his, plump lips stretching out and rows of straight white teeth shining, as he murmurs, “I’m not going anywhere.” I’m not leaving without you, Yoochun.

When the car halts itself and the world catches back up with them, Yoochun and Junsu are in a secluded area kilometers away from the sleeping city that tries to hold them captive. There is nothing but fields and fields of tall weeds that shine in the watery moonlight that strikes unabashedly on the untouched paradise that lays before them.

“Yoochunnie,” Junsu’s lips form, and it the only thing he needs to say because Yoochun knows what his friend wants. But Junsu says it anyway, just to make the moment seem real and not a vivid dream that his heart has created. “I need you.”

They move to the back of the car, cramped together but they have never minded the close proximities before. They inhale each other’s oxygen and exhale their love, fingers clutching unnecessary fabrics that are in their way. Yoochun kisses an expansion of skin that feels foreign at first, but the taste is the same and it pulls him in just like it always has. Junsu mewls, fingers knotting in dark tresses, as deft fingers shimmy down his body, layers of clothes discarded as they go.

It is not glamorous and there is not much room to move, but Yoochun tries his hardest to make things as comfortable as possible for the man he adores so much. He lets his jacket rest underneath Junsu’s sweaty locks, giving Junsu something softer to lay his head on than the tough leather cushions that are slippery with their perspiration.

And even though Junsu knows this is not their first time with each other, it somehow always feels like that one night so many years ago when they were naïve children that thought that they were the luckiest people in the world.

Yoochun’s kisses burn his skin, making every spot they touch tingle with warmth that makes his toes curl and his lips part into a sweet gasp. His hands are careful, calculating, and feather light on tanned skin that covers every single piece of Junsu’s body. He mumbles words that Junsu loves hearing, but they both know that what they are doing is wrong and they should not be here with each other.

They fit together like a puzzle, but the edges are wearing and becoming jagged; in used condition and not very well-kept. Junsu knows that society and religion condemn these types of relations - an intimate meeting of lovers that are of the same sex - but he could care less when Yoochun sinks into his body and they become one.

How come it is a sin to be in love with someone that loves you just as much? Junsu would love for someone to answer this question, but he knows that no one really will ever be able to find the solution to this problem.

Later on after coming down from their high, Junsu leads them into the field that calls for them ever so delicately. He trails through the waist-length grasses, their smooth blades lightly tickling his sticky skin. Yoochun is right beside him, quiet and enjoying their time together.

Junsu hates the fact that his forever with Yoochun is always short-lived, the sun peeping at them from its place in the sky, far away in the distance. Hues and tints of pastel blues and pinks dart across the western sky, hinting that a new day is soon to greet them with its rising sun.

“It’s almost time to go back.” Yoochun’s eyes are beginning to lose their sheen once more, his life being sucked away with the fading night. He looks tired and defeated more than ever, and Junsu feels tears slip down his cheeks because he knows he looks the same. “Jaejoong will be waking up soon and calling the police to find us.”

“I don’t want to leave yet,” Junsu whispers brokenly, wings retreating back to where they were before, feathers tearing off at having to wait so long to be free once more. He is not ready to stop flying; he wants to fly away forever with Yoochun right by his side. “I don’t want to go back there and have to act like I don’t love you, Yoochunnie. I hate that.”

“I know, Junnie,” Yoochun breathes huskily into his ear, voice laden with sleep and want and love. It is more than enough to break Junsu’s heart again; love is painful, but he cannot let this one go. “But we have to.”

“Let’s stay longer.”

It is not the first time that Junsu has voiced this type of decision. Yoochun is exasperated, Junsu is pleading.

“Junnie,” Yoochun calls, the name leaves his tongue smooth like silk and as soft as a cloud appears to be; Junsu would not know for sure, though, because the world refuses to let him fly to the sky. “One day we’ll get to run away forever, but right now, what’s best is to go back.”

Junsu sighs, defeated, but then Yoochun’s fingers are once again laced with his. He can feel Yoochun’s digits etch out random letters on his palm, letters that form words that hold so much meaning. Moments like these let Junsu know what he is fighting for, and it is enough.

He needs Yoochun, wants to take their love away where no one will judge them by who they are. But he knows that Yoochun is waiting patiently, steadily crumbling from the pressure as well, and he does not want to see his friend try to protect them both while he stays selfish. Yoochun is silently hoping for the day where they can be themselves and run away without anyone else thinking anything of it.

Junsu knows in this moment that Yoochun is stronger than he looks, than any one of the members of their band; he remembers why he loves Yoochun.

And so Junsu leans forward, kisses his secret boyfriend while he can. Here in this little world of theirs, they are just Junsu and simply Yoochun. And one day that is all that they will ever be.

On the way back to the city that is awaiting the new day, residents waking from their wonderful dreams, Yoochun rolls the windows down once more. He does not complain when Junsu laughs in the wind. The breeze catches his laughter and carries it through the morning lights, and the contagious sound makes them both feel alive once more as Yoochun’s own chuckles break from deep within his throat.

Junsu leans his body out of the car window once more, smile on his face and the night’s stars shining within his eyes.

And once again he is flying.

"We Got To Make A Decision;  Leave Tonight or Live and Die This Way"
oh, otp ♥, how you fail me so ;___; maybe this isn't too terrible.

length: oneshot, p: yoochun/junsu, centric: yoochun, centric: junsu

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