When Big Animal Movies™ Attack: Review of "Primeval"

[dawn_felagund]

I would like to issue a dire warning to all movie fans out there before I confine the rest of my ranting behind an LJ cut: Big Animal Movies™ are on the loose, masquerading as normal movies that you think you might want to see. It behooves us all, as moviegoers who demand quality entertainment, to visit our local IMDB to verify that there is no

Comments

[tarion_anarore]

Wait, a crocadile?! Wtf. Wow. I wasn't planning on seeing the movie to begin with but...O.o

[dawn_felagund]

Yep. I couldn't even make that up.

It occurs to me that the makers of the movie knew that it was so stupid that they had to fool people into seeing it. Which is pretty damned sad. Anyway, I'll be checking IMDB before seeing anything now lest it be a Big Animal Movie™ in disguise.

[tarion_anarore]

Yeah, that is really sad.

(Ok, so this has to do with the other comment thread, but I asked my semi-friend, "Excuse me, have you heard about Feanor?" and he said, "You mean our glorious master?" Rofl!

[sinneahtes]

Hahaha, I think it's so funny when Big Animal Movies make their animals sit and roar when it makes no sense for them to do so... when I watched Orca: The Killer Whale, I just about fell over laughing when the orca opened its mouth and roared as he watched his "mate's" death. Because animals that have no vocal chords of course open their mouths and roar at people! ;)

[dawn_felagund]

Wow! That's worse than a roaring crocodile! LMFAO!!

[frenchpony]

I don't know about crocodiles, but I have heard that alligators can bellow. People from Florida like to talk about it.

But, dang, girl! I was so sure this movie was going to be about the Tsavo Lions, and here it is about crocodiles and warlords. The Tsavo Lions would have been much more interesting.

(Actually, I think the Ngorongoro Lions are even more interesting than that, but that's probably my nerdliness showing again.)

[dawn_felagund]

Okay, you made me go to Wikipedia to figure out those different lions.... ;)

There is actually already a kinda-sorta Big Animal Movie™ about Tsavo lions called The Ghost and the Darkness. It's not all that bad, as far as Big Animal Movies™ go. But like I said, it was only kinda-sorta a BAM™.

As for bellowing reptiles, I can believe that. It's kind of along the lines of grunting, which I'm pretty sure that they do. But as for gale-force, spit-flecked roars...no siree.

[frenchpony]

Okay, you made me go to Wikipedia to figure out those different lions.... ;)

Tee hee hee. My work here is done.

But, seriously, the Ngorongoro lions are truly a fascinating thing to study.

[atanwende]

When I go to a movie, I go in with a positive attitude. I want to like the movie.

You know, that's exactly my problem. I would have had a whole lot more fun if I had accepted that the only virtue of both Troy and Alexander were men in skirts, instead of fiercely trying to take these movies seriously because OMG! There Petersen's and Stone's after all... (okay, no Big Animal Movie, but still...) ;-P

[dawn_felagund]

Oh, I will deny so hard that a movie sucks...I think that part of me doesn't want to admit, "I wasted nine dollars and two hours of my life on this crap!"

But yeah, that was me trying to explain why--however entertaining it was--Kingdom of Heaven was not exactly a good movie. Despite having knights and stuff. ;)

[atanwende]

I think that part of me doesn't want to admit, "I wasted nine dollars and two hours of my life on this crap!"

Yea, that's me. And if it's by a big-name director I want to enjoy it even more (I'm terribly prejudiced when it comes to directors... it's much harder for me to critisize someone like Ridley Scott than some no-name XY). Though I have to admit there was some stuff I liked about KoH; the gorgeous wiiiiiide, wide shots, Orlando Bloom with some muscle, smart!muslims... but there is just something, well... let's call it inconsistent about Scott's directing that I can't quite put my finger on... I've also realized this in A Good Year which I basically liked, though the plot felt a bit... er, 'scattered'.

[ssotknapsack]

LOL Your description of the characters - sexy woman, male hero, environmentalist, etc. - read just like the character list from Deep Blue Sea, a giant maneating shark movie that's only worth seeing because it stars a real-life lesbian (Saffron Burrows, and yes, she's the environmentalist, and yes, she gets eaten for her troubles).

This is a great rant review and made me want to write up a review of The Last King of Scotland, which we saw on Monday (now let's see if I can find the time). Have you seen it? An African movie without Big Animals!

[dawn_felagund]

I've seen Deep Blue Sea! I thought of it more than once during Primeval. (Was Saffron Burrows the marine biologist who had to strip down to her underwear in one scene to avoid a live wire in the water or something? Even at the tender age that I saw that movie, I remember thinking, "Oh, please....")

No, I haven't seen The Last King of Scotland; I don't even think it's been in theatres yet over here, though I saw it nominated for a lot of Golden Globes. Please review it, if you have time! Or at least: Should we see it, if it comes around?

[ssotknapsack]

That's her! :-P

According to IMDB it was in theatres in September, although I don't know how wide of a release it got. It's definitely worth seeing and I've done a bullet review in my journal.