Comments | dawn_felagund: Test-Drive Chapter: "He Came Home"

dawn_felagund

Test-Drive Chapter: "He Came Home"

May 05, 2006 10:54

I promised Tarion a while back that--no matter when AMC finally ended--that I would have a Friday posting for her until she left school to go home. Since AMC ended last week and Tarion has one Friday left before going home, I have decided to share the first five pages or so of my novella-in-progress "He Came Home ( Read more... )

anairë, eärwen, finarfin, he came home, short story

Comments 22

digdigil May 5 2006, 15:40:07 UTC

Squeee! I love this! Of course, I will have further comments, etc. when I have finished reading the whole thing, but I think it's beautiful. It has just the right amount of dramatic tension and emotion and I think the characterizations are wonderful. And, of course, it has your lovely descriptive writing. Way to go, Dawn! I think that all of your AMC readers will be captivated by this new story.

dawn_felagund May 5 2006, 18:46:43 UTC

I'm captivated and bit ticked at myself for letting this be the story that constantly gets pushed aside! It's fun to write...well, you know I like darkfic, and this is definitely dark in places.

I mean, I had to rate it adult...and not for sex! o.O

(Although there will be some of that too, but it's earned its adult rating so far based on squickiness alone.)

Well, you'll see, since you posses the whole thing so far. (Just don't tell the others! :^P)

And thank you for reading it and for the kind words, as always! :)

digdigil May 5 2006, 15:43:14 UTC

I'm just going to come back and point out this section because it stands out:

Who now rules the Noldor?

It was Finwë, but Finwë abdicated and then died.

I was Nolofinwë, but Nolofinwë is now departed.

I should be Arafinwë, but Arafinwë has followed his foolish brothers into exile.

Should this be "It" was Nolofinwë and "It" should be Arafinwë?

I wasn't going to bother to point that out here, but then I thought...well, spaced as the paragraph is...maybe other ppl would notice it too.

dawn_felagund May 5 2006, 18:47:33 UTC

Ai, what was wrong with me? :^P I fixed it on LJ; I shall have to fix it on the hard-drive too. Thanks for pointing it out!

kaikias May 5 2006, 18:20:31 UTC

I love it.

dawn_felagund May 5 2006, 18:48:03 UTC

*happy dance* Yay! Thank you! :^D

tarion_anarore May 5 2006, 18:35:44 UTC

Squeeeeee!!!

This is such a good beginning! I can't wait for more, even though I'll have to.

And "HoME"?? Pah, it's like coins on the street. Sometimes you take 'em, sometimes you leave 'em! ;)
At least, that's what I do.

Oh, and I am pretty sure my uber-studying-like-hell for anatomy paid off!! :D

dawn_felagund May 5 2006, 18:49:55 UTC

*squees* Is that why Nelyo came home rumpled and with a big grin on his face then? :^D

And "HoME"?? Pah, it's like coins on the street. Sometimes you take 'em, sometimes you leave 'em! ;)

Teehee, that is a great analogy! I shall have to try to remember it. :)

tarion_anarore May 5 2006, 19:11:31 UTC

Is that why Nelyo came home rumpled and with a big grin on his face then? :^D

I have absolutely no idea what you could be referring to... 0;D

Teehee, that is a great analogy! I shall have to try to remember it. :)

I should make an icon out of it...

dawn_felagund May 5 2006, 18:50:36 UTC

Oh, and thank you for reading and your comment! Daft me forgot the most important part of the comment reply.... ;^P

Thread 5

ann_arien May 5 2006, 19:28:24 UTC

Dawn, the last line made me cringe at the thought of the horrible news that Earwen is about to receive. (assuming, of course, that she is about to learn of the Kinslaying, et all ( ... )

dawn_felagund May 5 2006, 21:49:07 UTC

Don't feel bad about the Feanor/Erestor bunny. I started this story in September, and it was first put on hold for NaNoWriMo, then holiday fics, then because my muses absconded in protest of the first two, then finishing AMC...so it has been a convenient story to set aside almost from the moment it was begun ( ... )