Listen! The Yahoo! Answers Tribal Shaman Speaks!

[dave_littler]

This morning, I have been browsing Yahoo! Answers relationship board, and I have been disgusted by what I have seen. These people with their problems... they make such frivolous and and irresponsible decisions in their mating habits, they serve only to endanger the future of the tribe by producing weak and helpless offspring. Plainly, they require

Comments

[morgian_le_faye]

*Sigh* The saddest thing is, if their writing is any indicator of their intelligence, they may actually take the shaman's noteworthy advice.

[happydog]

And they would be all the better for it!

[dave_littler]

You can hardly argue that it wouldn't be a more interesting world for it!

[morgian_le_faye]

Touche

Tribal Advice!

[lenoria_light]

If a woman wishes to express her sexual dominance over a man / men, how will this affect the virility of the tribe? And should she be called, "slut", "slurry", "trollop", "red jezebel" or similar?

I look forward to your reply with anticipation! :P

Re: Tribal Advice!

[dave_littler]

She should be called all of these things and more! They should be spoken in hushed tones of respect, reverence and awe. As with all things, though, this is a respect which must be earned.

"Silence, fool!" One of the men-folk should say to another, "There walks the mighty slut, from whose womb marches forth a legion of hunters and killers, whose caves are decorated with the painted skulls of those who dared oppose them or their honoured trollop of a mother! Do you wish to join their ranks in that dark silence?"

Raise your offspring to be horrors to their enemies and as gods to their peers, and neither the number of their fathers nor the frequency of their conception will be spoken of with anything but wonder and amazement. Soon, a proud tradition of sluts and harlots will be walking in the vast shadow you will cast across the seasons.

[anonymous]

You never cease to amaze me and brighten my day.
Such a fine work, your words of advice bought tears to my eyes.

[adistantshadow]

Really cannot believe some of the questions these people ask. They are lucky to have you come to the rescue! Which, might I say your answers are amazing! Next time I ever have a stupid question I shall remember to ask the tribal shaman.

Yea, you totally rock!

[moondispatches]

I've never heard of V cards before. Sounds like maybe I should get one.