Comments | darsynia: Acceleration (or the Ninth Time's the Charm)(John/Rodney, NC-17) (Porn Battle)

darsynia

Acceleration (or the Ninth Time's the Charm)(John/Rodney, NC-17) (Porn Battle)

Jul 29, 2008 16:05

Title: Acceleration (or the Ninth Time's the Charm)
Summary: The first time Rodney feels something hit the back of his neck, he shivers.
Warnings/Spoilers: none
Word Count: 1,500
Notes: OMG I WROTE SOMETHING For the Porn Battle, and we all know I can't keep it to 4,300 characters! So, yeah, this is the more fun expanded version. Prompt: 'Obvious ( Read more... )

fanfiction: sga: john sheppard, fanfiction: sga: john/rodney, fanfiction: sga: rodney mckay, fandom:sga, fanfiction: sga: rated nc-17

Comments 39

equusentric July 29 2008, 20:31:57 UTC

NRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

:}~

darsynia July 29 2008, 21:06:10 UTC

Eloquent and expressive! *teases*

Seriously, though, I LOVE getting responses like this almost as much as wordy ones, cause, well. Incoherence is its own compliment entirely!!

vida_boheme July 29 2008, 20:38:54 UTC

"the damp brush of his cock against the inside of Rodney’s wrist.
Ngggh. I wouldn't have imagined that image would be as hot as it was when it cropped up in this story...oh lordy. It's the image of delicate skin, pulse points and vulnerability. HOT.

I loved the characterisation of John - stuck at twelve and classroom flirting - and Rodney noticing that he actually looks happy (and how unusual a look that is on John.) I loved that last comment because as you get to know Sheppard's character you realise how much of a suit of armour his public smile is; and even his public smile has lost its way under the stress of everything that has happened recently.

"he just had sex on the floor. Which, yes, sex, but-the floor." I could hear Rodney saying that. THAT'S how good your ear for his dialogue is. *LOVES*

"now Rodney knows exactly what John Sheppard sounds like when he’s aroused-and the way his voice dips slightly lower on the last word feels just like acceleration."This was both a lovely description of the physical feeling of arousal ( ... )

darsynia July 29 2008, 21:11:28 UTC

Ngggh. I wouldn't have imagined that image would be as hot as it was when it cropped up in this story...oh lordy. It's the image of delicate skin, pulse points and vulnerability. HOT.

I LOVE that line! I sort of had to sit there and shiver a bit picturing it, myself. It's the awkward position payoff, in my opinion.

John especially lately has been a lot more serious/dark, so it was fun to write him as his goofy self in some random season three setting!

I could hear Rodney saying that. THAT'S how good your ear for his dialogue is. *LOVES*\o/ Thank you! I was kind of lost as to the bit between the end of the porny segment (which was like, 10 characters shy of the comment limit as it was! blearg) and the last lines, which I'd written out before anything else! I'm really glad this worked for you :) I worried a bit that John was a little too quiet here, but he really did speak in other ways, didn't he ( ... )

velvetwhip July 29 2008, 20:45:05 UTC

I am squeeing that you wrote something!

Gabrielle

darsynia July 29 2008, 21:05:06 UTC

HEE! Thanks! \o/

jessebee July 29 2008, 21:39:17 UTC

asjghdfghshfasf. Would love to give coherent feedback, but all I've got is YES. Dear gods, YES.

darsynia July 29 2008, 22:40:48 UTC

HEE. This is plenty coherent! It gets your message across, after all! I'm so pleased you liked it, with bonus caps and everything! \o/

lysambre July 29 2008, 22:17:27 UTC

*phew*

I love me a bit of porn, and you wrote it beautifully (because yes, porn is even better when it's beautiful ! Mwahahahaha :D)

Thank you :)

darsynia July 29 2008, 22:41:56 UTC

Why, thank ya! I'm very happy to have it described as beautiful :) I had a lot of fun writing it, which makes it even better, considering how DED my writing muse has been lately.

Turns out she must have just been on a three week trip to Bermuda.

(Thank you!)