It feels like it has been forever since I last posted a new entry. And honestly I have no idea how I feel about anything or anyone. Nate confuses me so much. All his talk about Oliver. I just don't know what direction to point myself in. Dance coming up on friday, Heather ditched me, Chelsea, and Jonice to got to Rachel's house, but that's cool, ( Read more... )

Who the fuck am I kidding? I wish I knew who I am. I'm just going to be the old me, it is a lot easier. But then I think love me for me, right? Wrong.

It's been one big trip wrapping up my summer. It all started on the last day of sailing,a Thursday, when I sailed and chugged water for a while and then the crew rolled to Gregg's house and I took a long, hot, shower with Oliver. Then I jumped into the hot tub and played truth or dare, yes I ended up kissing someone but I'll never tell. I snuck ( Read more... )

Hmmm... where to start.
I think I had my first REAL kiss but, now thats its all gone by I'm not so sure. I just feel stupid because I am so far behind, baseball wise. Maybe not. I've done things  but I just don't tell anyone. Does giving a guy a massage count as anything? Kissing while sailing? Please let me know. Whoever is reading this.
**I LOVE ( Read more... )

OKAY I CHANGED MY MIND, I HATE POSERS, THEY TRY TO FIT IN, BUT THEY FUCKING CAN'T. H, I'M STILL PISSED OFF AT YOU. YEAH I SAID IT I'M MAD, MACKENZIE, WHO SITS QUIETLY IN THE CORNER, SHOWS EMOTION. I'M BAD. BUT I DON'T BRAG ABOUT WHAT I'VE STOLLEN, WHAT PARTIES I GOT DRUNK AT AND WHO I'VE KISSED. THAT IS MY PERSONAL LIFE, WHO THE HELL SAID I HAD TO ( Read more... )

I guess H and I are resolved, I'm over it, for now, I don't have to see anyone for a while. F told me about A and A with N. Not good. I'm not supposed to tell, but this is my diary, right? N, what a jerk I can't wait to spend the whole summer whith him. I don't even know if he is going to sail this summer. We will find out on monday. N's bat ( Read more... )

The Rachel Weekend, lets just call it that. And I'll use initials as not to hurt and cold hard bitchy feelings. H you were my BEST FRIEND now I just fade into the unpopular backround. It hurts and you don't even get what your doing and how much C, C, J, J, and I all feel left out and bad about it. You won't ever get it your just blinded by the ( Read more... )

I need to write a list. It helps clear my head.
- Latin Final May 27, 2004
- History Essay/Project Due May 27, 2004
- Science Final June 4, 2004
- Math Final Chapters 4,7,8,9 June 1, 2004
- Return Everyday and All the Time to the Library
- Friday go to Jamestown, Spend night fri& sat, go to commissioning, work on boat
- No School Monday
- Cameron has disc ( Read more... )

friday i went over to corey's house, with cameron, chelsea, abbey, and heather. we swam and modeled our bathing suites, i was so uncomfortable but they all said i looked fine, i hope they weren't lying. we walked to blockbuster and had ice cream. but we didn't paint our toenails. ive been craving to do that ever since my grandmas relationship with ( Read more... )

Today was boring, but I'm in a big fight with heather. She is stepping on all of the wrong toes to get to where she wants to be. It hurts. I just have to get over it. Giving 200% of my energy 24 hours a day is hard, its starting to catch up with me. I need a spa visit. Being on a diet is hard. K I'M NOT ANOREXIC. Busy Busy. Homework, now.
xoxo