sdatislife
in
damned
Night 47: M21-30 Hallway
Shinji once again lingered on the threshold of his room, debating on whether he truly wanted to step out into the dark, uninviting hallways. The sense of claustrophobia, of being watched, of being enclosed were already starting to creep up on him. He rubbed at his arms, swallowing softly. He paused to pick up his flashlight, rolling it back and forth between his two hands before he finally stepped out.
Again, he felt hideously vulnerable. He wanted to find Kaworu and Asuka though. He wanted to make sure they were alright. The guilt and fear of letting them down overrode his own instincts to curl up and hide somewhere, to simply duck and cover until it was all over. If they left or rejected him, who would he have? Who could he turn to?
Nobody. He would be alone again. He didn't want that. He didn't think he could stand that, as much pain as there was involved with becoming close to others.
He pressed on into the darkness.
[Moving to here.]
Again, he felt hideously vulnerable. He wanted to find Kaworu and Asuka though. He wanted to make sure they were alright. The guilt and fear of letting them down overrode his own instincts to curl up and hide somewhere, to simply duck and cover until it was all over. If they left or rejected him, who would he have? Who could he turn to?
Nobody. He would be alone again. He didn't want that. He didn't think he could stand that, as much pain as there was involved with becoming close to others.
He pressed on into the darkness.
[Moving to here.]