Day 58: Sun Room (Fourth Shift)

[human_sponge]

Peter's lunch meeting with Tear had gone far better than he could have even expected. It was a good thing that he wasn't the sort of person who judged by age, seeing how the girl had proved herself to be very capable despite the fact that she was only a teenager. Not that Peter would ever admit it out loud, but Tear was a lot more mature than his

Comments

[purpletaint]

[continuing the gay from here]

The room was more crowded than he would have liked but it was enough, he supposed. Albedo would be content with what was given, for once. It was enough to try, nothing more, and he would move from there.

The boy cut a path to a corner of the room, then curled on a sofa obstinately. It might have been apparent to his sibling. That Albedo would have otherwise linked hands with his brother and pulled him through the room. Instead, Albedo glared sullenly at the residents, waiting for his brother to situate himself.

[falseblack]

Red tinged the skin along his cheeks as they redressed and assembled themselves in the Sun Room. Although a more stable Nigredo might have noticed the lack of direct contact from his sibling, this one felt entirely too flustered to notice otherwise. That was, again, the oddest and most awkward wash to ever grace his existence, though it was nice to feel properly clean.

Maybe. He wasn't sure if the sheepish sensations were worth the hygiene.

The boy finally composed himself long enough to settle into a seat beside Albedo, glancing one way to assess the other's condition. He seemed grumpy, which came as no surprise. "What did you want to try?" Nigredo asked, voicing to distract.

[purpletaint]

No fight, and no argument. A part of Albedo remained surprised. Not enough to shift things from what he had thought, but enough, in any rate.

He didn't feel like speaking any longer. He didn't feel like moving until this was at the least broached.

Albedo angled to the side, facing Nigredo and staring at his brother. That was the physical adjust. The rest came only in his waveform reaching out, latching on to Nigredo's as if to join them together, and then his own widening, opening willingly to another's violation. Violation or sharing souls, whichever was preferred.

He had taken this way before. Demanded and stole. This time he was allowing the option.

[falseblack]

Others might have noted nothing different, nothing so out of the ordinary for two siblings sharing a sofa. To Nigredo, the normality had all but vanished from his senses, overtaken by the presence of another's existence, a connection drawing close enough to touch. To press and wrench into, but here, Albedo had done nothing of the sort. Offered his own instead.

For this reason alone, Nigredo remembered nothing of that night, the subsequent break and its destructive aftermath. He did not pull away nor refuse the proverbial hand offered. Instead, the child watched in hesitance as he considered the consequences and the reasons, before his waveform expanded to overlay. Whatever the other had in mind, it was of necessity, and how he could he refuse after what he had said?

To take what Nigredo had meant acknowledging a worth, and he was willing to grasp what was in front of him. Willing enough to try something considered dangerous.

[purpletaint]

There was an opening, an allowance, and Albedo gave the smallest of smiles, an expression of approval. His waveform mimicked that, curled against Nigredo's before reaching further.

He was not looking to delve as he had before. Just to bring things to light and allow details to surface. To that, Albedo brought the memory of ten minutes before as a prompt.

"It's when we're apart. When I start to think that you may love me, but it may be that you do because I'm all that's left. You may love me, but I wouldn't be what you choose.-- But you think that, too. Don't you?"

"I just know how much you love Rubedo. That's why I think you wouldn't." Choose me

[falseblack]

Clarity had its methods, its ways of digging in and filling the gaps you missed in passing. Love was only one half of the equation, and here, the rest was given in spades, etched against a backdrop Nigredo had never known existed. Albedo could see everything in Rubedo and choose Nigredo. Could drown in the one who had built his life and yet reach for the one who came after. And for all the logic Nigredo could not hold in regards to the twins, this he could consider without touching doubt. It echoed his own admission without bearing the utter lack that accompanied: to be chosen for want and not availability, for himself and not for circumstances.

That, however, held its own set of complications--complications Nigredo had offered in simplistic terms as reasons for disbelief. I just know how much you love Rubedo, and it was here, understanding had faltered the greatest. The roots of which extended to a time much beyond their presence here, which Nigredo presented with a slow and steady flow

[purpletaint]

Things pushed forth from his brother's psyche, and with the utmost attention, Albedo took care. For as well as Nigredo had been learning about him in the past days, here, here were things Albedo had not known. That in the time that he had admitted to barely 'seeing' the youngest, Nigredo had already adored them with a passion. Had already loved them beyond measure and needed them in a way Albedo could understand best. But they differed from that point.

Albedo clung and needed and wept because the distance would kill him, harm him, hurt him, so deeply like a weapon never would, and his heart never beat as closely as he would have liked, and an overriding need for reassurance beat down on his psyche until a deference to possessive and jealously seemed the only overcome, the only leaning. For he saw it, even then. Even as he clung to every word, and tried to believe every breath, consume every promise. Albedo knew that one day Rubedo would walk away. And he couldn't stop it because Rubedo did not love him in the way Albedo needed.

[falseblack]

Watching another arrange the fine lines (the detailed constructs of memory he had rehashed time and time and time before) brought feelings of melancholy, something of nostalgia. Despite having lost his hold (or for the very reason), Nigredo smiled as though amused. He deemed it all correct: all the reasoning, the assumptions, the fact that he had taken his cues from Albedo. It hardly mattered if it was only now Albedo realized these facets; Nigredo himself had not known many things about the albino until the recent weeks. A blessing or a curse--he had yet to decide. For in the process of approaching one, he had lost other aspects. A brother equally deemed important who disregarded both so easily

[purpletaint]

There was a climax and aftermath, and mixed together to the point of a lack of understanding came as both, and Albedo only shook in the waves that followed. It was nothing like an overwhelm, nothing unwanted, but still his body reacted, trembling in the wind. It would be another irony, that. That one could break the bonds of fate and move to reach between space and time and still exist as something so fragile

in which nigredo talks like a magical girl

[falseblack]

Trembling came as static on the line, an aspect drawing attention and concern in tandem. But touch Albedo Nigredo would not, not now at least. Even as the other reached to hold his sleeve, the younger brother kept to himself, the smile fading like evening light. Albedo would wonder about the reasons and question when it was glaringly obvious. He needed to only consider the traits of black and white, trace back their motives, and then, the truth would be made known

[purpletaint]

The statement spoken simply was sobering, enough for emotions to slip downward and hold there. Albedo's eyes widened--not in surprise, but in the way of expanding to take in more information. It was an allowance, in part, and whether or not both had previously considered it true, given to words, it was partially formed in permanence. Given consideration, in what was meant

[falseblack]

Consideration to his admittance proved comforting. Regardless of how Albedo might have processed the words, a willingness to do so was enough for Nigredo. It spoke of progress--of value uneasily dissolved--and he almost smiled at the passing activity. Almost. For his brother held sobering thoughts, some carefully placed out of his reach, and when it came to the nature of their being and the change formed and crystallized, Nigredo knew of nothing comforting. Therefore, he kept to silence, eyes trailing to his lap

[purpletaint]

He was made aware of the quiet shifts likely at the same time Nigredo noticed them. For Albedo followed his brother's line of sight, and noticed the shivered, and more than anything wished to wrap his hands around his sibling's. In lieu, his fingers tightened on Nigredo's sleeve, a strange need vibrating.

For it was clear, wasn't it? Clear from the link and from physical aspects, and from words spoken. And Albedo was reminded of her, then. Reminded of the words pressed into his consciousness whether or not he had meant it to be so. He remembered the girl.

"When did I become responsible for Nigredo's fate?"

"When you both acknowledged each other as brothers."

Albedo remembered that time, as he hadn't in clarity before, and he remembered an aspect pulled to mirror now. {It would take a miracle to make them come true.} "We can only want. Or hope or beg or wait for a disaster or a miracle." Only continue living, and wait.

"The actual fulfillment is outside of our reach. We can only chase what we may never have."And he had wondered

[falseblack]

Stability would never hold. It was a truth as much as others in any given moment, but in this space, in this time, Nigredo questioned. As his brother wrapped an arm to hold and touched encouragement in the shore of their minds, the youngest questioned his own stance. For a singular moment, he had to wonder. Had to challenge his lifelong stance

[purpletaint]

Actual joy spread, something that had become almost foreign in the past months, year. He smiled wider, and for that moment, seemed and felt nothing more than what he appeared to be. There existed no darkness in the depths of his soul. Given what had always been necessary to Albedo's existence, he could relax. Find relief. If not for the existence of the remaining three black boxes and a veil over anything regarding Rubedo, it would be as if the child was nothing but.

Magenta pulsed lower down, but his upper waveform held little of it.

He wanted to lean forward, push his head against Nigredo's, but memory held him even as he started to. His forehead pressed against Nigredo's shoulder instead, cloth stopping any ill effects that might have been had. There was something wanted in two waveforms so close together. Albedo maintained his hold around Nigredo, taking comfort in the mental and emotional closeness.

[falseblack]

The smile was contagious. The expanding joy, even more so. Nigredo smiled to mirror his sibling's, nearly laughing in the process. For once, his countenance shone as natural and perfect; nothing deemed as false or lacking. For now, he had forgotten and believed. Held to Albedo's utterance without a trace of surface doubt.

The smile softened, lingering as a gentle wisp upon his face. He watched as the elder leaned a head against his shoulder, gracing comfortable. In the next instance, his mind formed the difficult words with ease, which surprised even him. {I love you.} Albedo.

Brother of mine.