Fic: Cold Fusion: True North, Chapter 3
Title: Cold Fusion: True North, Chapter 3
Author: Dal Niente
Rating: M for later chapters
Word Count: 3,066
Chapter 3
When Roxanne gets out of the shower, she dresses before exiting the bathroom. If she doesn't, she might sit down on the bed just for a moment, and if she does that, she'll probably fall asleep right then and there. If you give a mouse a cookie, she thinks ruefully, and slips on the moccasins she's taken to wearing around the Lair. They're good house shoes - they slip on and off easily, they keep her feet warm, and they're closed-toed. Megamind has been very clear about how he feels about sandals in the lab and workshop.
There are rules about the Lair, which bothers Roxanne sometimes, but none of them are frivolous. Most exist as safety precautions, which she can appreciate; she is comfortable around flamethrowers and chainsaws because she's used to them, not because they aren't dangerous.
She just wishes Megamind would get around to writing the rules down.
Her stomach grumbles at her, reminding her about lunch - she feels like it should be dinner - and she pauses only to grab her camera bag before she hurries down the hall into the kitchen. Megamind is already there, elbow-deep in a ham sandwich that he waves at her when she comes in.
"Sorry I'm late," she says. "It's good to have a shower with real water pressure again."
He cocks his head, chewing like mad, and Roxanne resists the urge to die laughing.
"The hotels I stayed at had really old plumbing," she explains, grinning. "The showers weren't much. The baths were nice, though."
Megamind swallows, ducking his chin forward a little as he does so. It's more of a gulp, really; he's not a patient person, and he asks "Why don't they just renovate?" before he even has time to inhale.
"Part of the appeal of some of the old buildings is that they're historic. Renovating could lower the value of the rooms, depending on what they're advertising." She pulls out a chair that grates squeakily on the cement floor and drops into it with a sigh. "Megamind, listen, are you psychic?"
He blinks a few times. "Come again?"
Minion slides a plate over to Roxanne, and she nods her thanks and starts eating. "Minion said he could tune himself to your biorhythms," she says. "What does that mean?"
He sends Minion a Look.
"What?" Minion asks, and somehow manages to look innocent and defensive at the same time. It's quite a feat. "I was telling her about why you never sleep."
That's all he has to say. No further explanation is required. Roxanne can almost see Megamind flashing through what must have been said.
Recent return from overseas = jet-lag. She mentioned a nap, jet-lag + nap = longer re-adjustment period; longer re-adjustment period = detrimental to normal sleep patterns; intention to nap + presence at lunch = not napping, so something happened to change her mind and the last person she talked to was Minion-Logical Extrapolation: Minion told her not to go to sleep.
Fact: Minion doesn't talk about our mutuality unless prompted, and Roxanne is sarcastic and tired and probably in an ironic mood-Logical Extrapolation: Roxanne picked up on the incongruity of Minion preaching the benefits of normal sleep patterns and my inability to sleep more than four hours at a stretch and commented on it.
Logical Extrapolation: Minion explained why my sleeping patterns are off.
Logical Extrapolation: Roxanne noticed that Minion sleeps regularly and asked why he was able to adjust to Earth's light cycle.
Conclusion: Minion told Roxanne that he isn't attuned to Earth, he's attuned to me, except I'm a freak even by our standards so he usually just does his own thing.
All told, it takes him about three seconds to come to the right conclusion. "Ah-ha-ha," he says, and nods. "No. No, not in the sense you're thinking, no. I'm not a telepath. Minion and I…" He glances sideways at the fish, hesitates. "We're linked, yes, but on a biochemical level. Not mental."
Roxanne exhales. "So you won't be able to read my thoughts?"
He opens his mouth and then stops, darting another quick, begging glance at Minion, who tilts his body meaningfully in Roxanne's direction. Answer her. Megamind winces, looks back at Roxanne. "Ahhm. Not…as such, no."
Roxanne's eyes narrow but she doesn't say anything. Megamind looks very nervous; his green eyes are flicking back and forth between hers until he rounds on Minion without warning. "Did you really have to tell her about that? Now? It couldn't have waited?"
"I told you yesterday, Sir. You're in deep enough already."
Megamind groans and slumps back in his chair, rests his head in one hand and closes his eyes. He looks almost pained.
"Tell me what?" Roxanne says slowly.
Megamind glances up at her. "My species…has some…" He sighs and waves a hand in an inarticulate, frustrated gesture. "Minor empathic capabilities. That's all. I'm not - telepathic, I can't hear your thoughts. Mostly it's just that we tend to be really good at reading people."
Roxanne leans back, blinking at him. "So you can feel what I'm feeling. Will I be able to feel you?"
"Ah, no." Megamind shakes his head. "No, I can't feel what you're feeling, and no, you cannot link back to me. Like I said. Not a mental thing."
"But you and Minion-"
"Minion and I share a bond, but we're from the same planet," Megamind says flatly. "There are things, chemical compounds, running through our bodies that are completely foreign to you and totally incompatible with your body's chemical receptors - such as they are."
He is growing increasingly animated, his motions ever more erratic, and he's looking anywhere and everywhere but at Roxanne.
"My body is more heavily reliant on a chemical biosystem than yours - that's where the empathy comes from. It's not a mental link, it's that I produce pheromones constantly to augment emotional expression, and my species has evolved to pick up on the emotional pheromones of those around me."
He utters a sharp, hysterical laugh that makes her jump. "Trouble with that is, you can't do it. None of you can. I mean, I'm sitting here, screaming my head off, and you're just sitting there like a lump or a tumor or something and you don't feel a thing-"
"Did you just call me a tumor?"
"-and Minion told you about how the dehydration gun works on nerves?" He runs both shaking hands backwards over his skull, grinning like a madman. "Well, to add to that I can regenerate nervous tissue so I usually hardly feel any physical pain if an injury doesn't break the skin, but emotions-wise if I don't get enough caffeine to dull my receptors it's just constant overload for me because none of you know how to regulate your exocrine glands!" He throws his hands up in the air and then collapses back into his chair, panting and staring at Roxanne. A moment later he says, "And I just called you a tumor, yes. I'm sorry. Dear god…" And he buries his face in his hands.
Roxanne waits for a minute before asking quietly, "Feel better?"
"Mnnng."
"Coffee, Sir," Minion says, setting a mug on the table by Megamind's plate. He holds up the pot and points at it, raising his eyebrows at Roxanne.
She nods. A lot. Rapidly. What she wants is something closer to vodka, but coffee will have to do.
Across from her, Megamind hasn't moved, and Roxanne reaches across the table and scooches his mug closer to him. "Drink your caffeine, Space Oddity. I think I get what you're saying."
He lifts his head and stares at her. "You're still not angry."
She grins quizzically at him over the rim of her mug and shakes her head, then blinks when the liquid hits her tongue. She knows decaf when she tastes it. What is Minion playing at?
Megamind shakes his head in disbelief, then tilts it back. Roxanne pauses to watch.
Megamind doesn't drink coffee, exactly - not the same way Roxanne drinks it. He just tips his head back, opens his mouth, and pours the liquid down his throat. When the mug is empty, he swallows with a painful-sounding gulp and looks back at Roxanne, who is gazing at him with something like bewildered amazement.
"What?"
"How do you do that? Just pour it straight down like that?"
He stares at her for a moment, and then his mouth abruptly pulls into a grin and he points at his neck. "Total control," he says smugly.
Her eyes narrow again, but this time she's grinning. "Bull."
"No, no," he insists. "It's true. Total control."
Then the smile slips off his face, and his eyes go wide for a moment as he inhales, and then his face relaxes completely. "Ahh. There we go." His eyes fall closed and his head rolls to the side, and the tension bleeds out of his thin frame. "Minion, you're amazing," he sighs, and melts into a smiling puddle on the table, head pillowed on one outstretched arm.
"Thank you, Sir," the fish says lightly. "I try. Incidentally, did you know you can buy caffeine tablets?"
Roxanne can't hold it in anymore. She bursts out laughing. One of Megamind's eyes slits open at Minion. "Really? Pure?"
"Cheap, too," Minion says, but he catches Roxanne's eye behind Megamind's back, mouths, He should go to sleep. He closes his eyes and tips to one side in a brief but obvious pantomime.
Roxanne had been hoping to show Megamind what she had come up with in Amsterdam, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen for a while. She pushes her chair back.
It's like there's a string running from her to Megamind; he sits up as soon as she rises, green eyes searching worriedly. "What? Where are you going?"
She smiles. "You," she says, "are going to go take a nap."
"But it's still light out," he protests.
Roxanne rolls her eyes and comes around the table, pulls him to his feet. "I don't care. You need to sleep. Go on. I'll catch up with you in a minute, I just want to help Minion with the dishes."
Minion, for once, does not protest.
"It'll mess everything up, though." Megamind looks genuinely confused. "You won't be able to sleep tonight."
"Neither will you," she points out, "and I plan on enjoying being able to keep up with you for as long as I can. I've got tomorrow off, and then it's the weekend. Go. I'll be there soon."
Megamind looks up at Minion, who scowls down at his master. "You already know what I'm going to say, Sir."
Megamind blinks, then grins in tired defeat. "Yeah, okay," he mutters, and turns and slouches out.
Neither Roxanne nor Minion move until they hear the echo of his bedroom door closing behind him. Minion opens his mouth, but Roxanne beats him to it. "Shame on you," she says quietly, "drugging him like that."
He shakes his head. "You don't understand."
"So tell me." Roxanne levels a stare at him that could freeze mercury. "What is so dire that you have to slip 200 milligrams of straight caffeine into his drink without telling him?"
"When he said overload, he meant overload," Minion explains, and now that Megamind is gone, his carefree façade is beginning to crack. Roxanne pauses - Minion looks worried, very worried, and Roxanne realizes that Minion probably worries about Megamind a lot more than he lets on. "Over time, I think he'll become desensitized to your chemical signature, but it's still fairly early yet. He's…right now, he picks up on everything. He sees everything. It's like a powerful hallucinogen," the fish tells her shakily, seizing on the only analogy he can think of that works. "He sees how everything around him tastes. Out here, in isolation, it's usually not so much that it bothers him, but he's spending so much time with people these days that he might be losing track of what he is in all the mash-up of other chemicals. And with you here…?" Minion trails off, turning from side to side in his dome. "He's nearly tripled his coffee intake in the past three months."
Roxanne frowns. "Am I hurting him by being here?"
Minion hesitates. "You…confuse him. He's tired a lot, and he isn't thinking clearly. His behavior is more erratic than it usually is." He blinks, and hastily adds, "Don't leave, though. He'll figure this out; he figures everything out if he has enough time. It's just. Hard."
Roxanne nods, carrying the plates to the sink. Minion shoves her gently out of the way. "I'll take it from here," he says. "You go get some rest."
Roxanne half-smiles, confused. "But you said-"
The Look Minion sends her speaks volumes, and she chuckles. "Okay. Rest. Okay."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Megamind is already in bed when she gets there, lying on his side with his eyes closed. Roxanne gets into her pajamas as quietly as she can manage, but as soon as she climbs carefully in beside him, Megamind murmurs, "How much did he give me?"
Roxanne blinks at him, then almost kicks herself. Minion, you're amazing. Of course Megamind had known immediately, would have noticed the difference. "Two hundred milligrams."
"Two hundred…" He sighs a little, sniffs. He does not open his eyes. "Caffeine pills," he says softly. "Why didn't I think of that? It would be so simple."
Roxanne settles next to him, though not as close as usual. "You probably just had more important things on your mind. Does my being here hurt you, at all?"
He opens his eyes then and looks over at her, and he smiles. "Come here," he says, and pushes her shoulder gently, and she rolls over as well so that they are lying back to front, and he wraps both arms around her and tucks her head under his chin. "No, you aren't hurting me. Certainly not right now. Caffeine blocks my receptors, and that much should last me at least twelve hours or so."
"It's addictive, though, and Minion said-"
He snorts into her hair. "Roxanne, there are worse things than being a caffeine addict. And I can guess what Minion said. He forgets that I'm not half as fragile as he thinks I am, and he's been twice as protective of me since Titan happened."
She shifts a little, yawns. "Still. I've never seen you rant like that before, not about that."
"I know." He's quiet for a minute, and when he speaks again, Roxanna almost has to strain to hear him. "It's going to take me a while to get used to this. I know we haven't been together very long, and at the risk of sounding too serious - I worry, sometimes. A lot."
It's easier to talk to him in the dark, when she can't see his face. It seems to be the same for him - in the darkness, they are both only voices. "What are you worried about?"
"I'm not human."
"Megamind-"
His arms tighten very slightly. "Just listen. I worry that one day I am going to say something wrong or do something so completely insane that it wakes you up to the fact that you are dating someone who isn't even your species. If you suddenly turn around and realize that I'm fucking blue, with an ego the size of Brooklyn and a head-to-body ratio of a Lego toy-"
Roxanne snorts.
"I'm serious," Megamind exclaims. "I've done the calculations. The proportions are almost identical."
"I meant your ego," she tells him. "It's a lot larger than Brooklyn."
"We can't even go out in public together!" he snaps, and that's when Roxanne realizes just how serious Megamind really is. "You don't deserve that. You deserve to be with someone who can at least go out with you without wearing a disguise."
"And you don't deserve that?" she shoots back.
"No." It's his initial response, knee-jerk reaction, and it makes Roxanne sit bolt upright.
"No?" she repeats, incredulous. "Excuse me. No?"
He sits up as well, defensive now and tired, but his receptors are out cold and he can think clearly for once. "Yes, no. For god's sake, Roxanne, I don't deserve any of this. People have died because of me, and the casualties aren't going to stop now that I've switched sides. What happens when another villain shows up?" He spreads his hands helplessly. "I don't have super-speed or strength, or hearing, or laser vision. All I have is a head that's too big for my body and a brain to match!"
Roxanne puts her hands on his shoulders. "And a brain to match," she echoes. "And that brain can out-think any human on Earth twice over. You're more than a match for any villain. You were more than a match for the heroes who came after you, remember? All except Metro Man."
Megamind laughs a little bit. "Yeah, well. We just knew each other too well." He sobers. "But Titan was a challenge, more of a challenge than I'd like. We only barely beat him, you know that. We just got lucky."
"And there will be an element of danger to every confrontation," Roxanne agrees. "Otherwise they wouldn't be confrontations. It'll be difficult, but life hasn't been easy for either of us. We're used to difficulty." She smiles. "You'll be fine. And remember, you don't know that there will be any villains to fight. Sure, you defeated Titan, but that doesn't automatically label you Metro City's new hero. Who knows? Once the rebuild project is over, maybe people will finally just leave you alone."
His heart clenches. "That would be nice," he says in a low voice. But how else is he supposed to fix everything? He has to pick a side, has to find some purpose. If no villains turn up, what else is he supposed to do?
Megamind had been Metro City's resident villain, and Metro Man had been the resident hero. Was there any other way? Would transient villains turn up, and then leave once he had defeated them? And what is he supposed to do in the meantime?
Roxanne is quiet while he spins through the questions, but when she lies down and Megamind finally curls up beside her, he is left with more questions than when he started and too few answers.
But he's exhausted, and Roxanne's breathing and heartbeat are slow and even, and finally he sighs and lets his eyes fall closed and follows her down into sleep.
Chapter 2
Top of Page
Chapter 4
Return to Master List
Author: Dal Niente
Rating: M for later chapters
Word Count: 3,066
Chapter 3
When Roxanne gets out of the shower, she dresses before exiting the bathroom. If she doesn't, she might sit down on the bed just for a moment, and if she does that, she'll probably fall asleep right then and there. If you give a mouse a cookie, she thinks ruefully, and slips on the moccasins she's taken to wearing around the Lair. They're good house shoes - they slip on and off easily, they keep her feet warm, and they're closed-toed. Megamind has been very clear about how he feels about sandals in the lab and workshop.
There are rules about the Lair, which bothers Roxanne sometimes, but none of them are frivolous. Most exist as safety precautions, which she can appreciate; she is comfortable around flamethrowers and chainsaws because she's used to them, not because they aren't dangerous.
She just wishes Megamind would get around to writing the rules down.
Her stomach grumbles at her, reminding her about lunch - she feels like it should be dinner - and she pauses only to grab her camera bag before she hurries down the hall into the kitchen. Megamind is already there, elbow-deep in a ham sandwich that he waves at her when she comes in.
"Sorry I'm late," she says. "It's good to have a shower with real water pressure again."
He cocks his head, chewing like mad, and Roxanne resists the urge to die laughing.
"The hotels I stayed at had really old plumbing," she explains, grinning. "The showers weren't much. The baths were nice, though."
Megamind swallows, ducking his chin forward a little as he does so. It's more of a gulp, really; he's not a patient person, and he asks "Why don't they just renovate?" before he even has time to inhale.
"Part of the appeal of some of the old buildings is that they're historic. Renovating could lower the value of the rooms, depending on what they're advertising." She pulls out a chair that grates squeakily on the cement floor and drops into it with a sigh. "Megamind, listen, are you psychic?"
He blinks a few times. "Come again?"
Minion slides a plate over to Roxanne, and she nods her thanks and starts eating. "Minion said he could tune himself to your biorhythms," she says. "What does that mean?"
He sends Minion a Look.
"What?" Minion asks, and somehow manages to look innocent and defensive at the same time. It's quite a feat. "I was telling her about why you never sleep."
That's all he has to say. No further explanation is required. Roxanne can almost see Megamind flashing through what must have been said.
Recent return from overseas = jet-lag. She mentioned a nap, jet-lag + nap = longer re-adjustment period; longer re-adjustment period = detrimental to normal sleep patterns; intention to nap + presence at lunch = not napping, so something happened to change her mind and the last person she talked to was Minion-Logical Extrapolation: Minion told her not to go to sleep.
Fact: Minion doesn't talk about our mutuality unless prompted, and Roxanne is sarcastic and tired and probably in an ironic mood-Logical Extrapolation: Roxanne picked up on the incongruity of Minion preaching the benefits of normal sleep patterns and my inability to sleep more than four hours at a stretch and commented on it.
Logical Extrapolation: Minion explained why my sleeping patterns are off.
Logical Extrapolation: Roxanne noticed that Minion sleeps regularly and asked why he was able to adjust to Earth's light cycle.
Conclusion: Minion told Roxanne that he isn't attuned to Earth, he's attuned to me, except I'm a freak even by our standards so he usually just does his own thing.
All told, it takes him about three seconds to come to the right conclusion. "Ah-ha-ha," he says, and nods. "No. No, not in the sense you're thinking, no. I'm not a telepath. Minion and I…" He glances sideways at the fish, hesitates. "We're linked, yes, but on a biochemical level. Not mental."
Roxanne exhales. "So you won't be able to read my thoughts?"
He opens his mouth and then stops, darting another quick, begging glance at Minion, who tilts his body meaningfully in Roxanne's direction. Answer her. Megamind winces, looks back at Roxanne. "Ahhm. Not…as such, no."
Roxanne's eyes narrow but she doesn't say anything. Megamind looks very nervous; his green eyes are flicking back and forth between hers until he rounds on Minion without warning. "Did you really have to tell her about that? Now? It couldn't have waited?"
"I told you yesterday, Sir. You're in deep enough already."
Megamind groans and slumps back in his chair, rests his head in one hand and closes his eyes. He looks almost pained.
"Tell me what?" Roxanne says slowly.
Megamind glances up at her. "My species…has some…" He sighs and waves a hand in an inarticulate, frustrated gesture. "Minor empathic capabilities. That's all. I'm not - telepathic, I can't hear your thoughts. Mostly it's just that we tend to be really good at reading people."
Roxanne leans back, blinking at him. "So you can feel what I'm feeling. Will I be able to feel you?"
"Ah, no." Megamind shakes his head. "No, I can't feel what you're feeling, and no, you cannot link back to me. Like I said. Not a mental thing."
"But you and Minion-"
"Minion and I share a bond, but we're from the same planet," Megamind says flatly. "There are things, chemical compounds, running through our bodies that are completely foreign to you and totally incompatible with your body's chemical receptors - such as they are."
He is growing increasingly animated, his motions ever more erratic, and he's looking anywhere and everywhere but at Roxanne.
"My body is more heavily reliant on a chemical biosystem than yours - that's where the empathy comes from. It's not a mental link, it's that I produce pheromones constantly to augment emotional expression, and my species has evolved to pick up on the emotional pheromones of those around me."
He utters a sharp, hysterical laugh that makes her jump. "Trouble with that is, you can't do it. None of you can. I mean, I'm sitting here, screaming my head off, and you're just sitting there like a lump or a tumor or something and you don't feel a thing-"
"Did you just call me a tumor?"
"-and Minion told you about how the dehydration gun works on nerves?" He runs both shaking hands backwards over his skull, grinning like a madman. "Well, to add to that I can regenerate nervous tissue so I usually hardly feel any physical pain if an injury doesn't break the skin, but emotions-wise if I don't get enough caffeine to dull my receptors it's just constant overload for me because none of you know how to regulate your exocrine glands!" He throws his hands up in the air and then collapses back into his chair, panting and staring at Roxanne. A moment later he says, "And I just called you a tumor, yes. I'm sorry. Dear god…" And he buries his face in his hands.
Roxanne waits for a minute before asking quietly, "Feel better?"
"Mnnng."
"Coffee, Sir," Minion says, setting a mug on the table by Megamind's plate. He holds up the pot and points at it, raising his eyebrows at Roxanne.
She nods. A lot. Rapidly. What she wants is something closer to vodka, but coffee will have to do.
Across from her, Megamind hasn't moved, and Roxanne reaches across the table and scooches his mug closer to him. "Drink your caffeine, Space Oddity. I think I get what you're saying."
He lifts his head and stares at her. "You're still not angry."
She grins quizzically at him over the rim of her mug and shakes her head, then blinks when the liquid hits her tongue. She knows decaf when she tastes it. What is Minion playing at?
Megamind shakes his head in disbelief, then tilts it back. Roxanne pauses to watch.
Megamind doesn't drink coffee, exactly - not the same way Roxanne drinks it. He just tips his head back, opens his mouth, and pours the liquid down his throat. When the mug is empty, he swallows with a painful-sounding gulp and looks back at Roxanne, who is gazing at him with something like bewildered amazement.
"What?"
"How do you do that? Just pour it straight down like that?"
He stares at her for a moment, and then his mouth abruptly pulls into a grin and he points at his neck. "Total control," he says smugly.
Her eyes narrow again, but this time she's grinning. "Bull."
"No, no," he insists. "It's true. Total control."
Then the smile slips off his face, and his eyes go wide for a moment as he inhales, and then his face relaxes completely. "Ahh. There we go." His eyes fall closed and his head rolls to the side, and the tension bleeds out of his thin frame. "Minion, you're amazing," he sighs, and melts into a smiling puddle on the table, head pillowed on one outstretched arm.
"Thank you, Sir," the fish says lightly. "I try. Incidentally, did you know you can buy caffeine tablets?"
Roxanne can't hold it in anymore. She bursts out laughing. One of Megamind's eyes slits open at Minion. "Really? Pure?"
"Cheap, too," Minion says, but he catches Roxanne's eye behind Megamind's back, mouths, He should go to sleep. He closes his eyes and tips to one side in a brief but obvious pantomime.
Roxanne had been hoping to show Megamind what she had come up with in Amsterdam, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen for a while. She pushes her chair back.
It's like there's a string running from her to Megamind; he sits up as soon as she rises, green eyes searching worriedly. "What? Where are you going?"
She smiles. "You," she says, "are going to go take a nap."
"But it's still light out," he protests.
Roxanne rolls her eyes and comes around the table, pulls him to his feet. "I don't care. You need to sleep. Go on. I'll catch up with you in a minute, I just want to help Minion with the dishes."
Minion, for once, does not protest.
"It'll mess everything up, though." Megamind looks genuinely confused. "You won't be able to sleep tonight."
"Neither will you," she points out, "and I plan on enjoying being able to keep up with you for as long as I can. I've got tomorrow off, and then it's the weekend. Go. I'll be there soon."
Megamind looks up at Minion, who scowls down at his master. "You already know what I'm going to say, Sir."
Megamind blinks, then grins in tired defeat. "Yeah, okay," he mutters, and turns and slouches out.
Neither Roxanne nor Minion move until they hear the echo of his bedroom door closing behind him. Minion opens his mouth, but Roxanne beats him to it. "Shame on you," she says quietly, "drugging him like that."
He shakes his head. "You don't understand."
"So tell me." Roxanne levels a stare at him that could freeze mercury. "What is so dire that you have to slip 200 milligrams of straight caffeine into his drink without telling him?"
"When he said overload, he meant overload," Minion explains, and now that Megamind is gone, his carefree façade is beginning to crack. Roxanne pauses - Minion looks worried, very worried, and Roxanne realizes that Minion probably worries about Megamind a lot more than he lets on. "Over time, I think he'll become desensitized to your chemical signature, but it's still fairly early yet. He's…right now, he picks up on everything. He sees everything. It's like a powerful hallucinogen," the fish tells her shakily, seizing on the only analogy he can think of that works. "He sees how everything around him tastes. Out here, in isolation, it's usually not so much that it bothers him, but he's spending so much time with people these days that he might be losing track of what he is in all the mash-up of other chemicals. And with you here…?" Minion trails off, turning from side to side in his dome. "He's nearly tripled his coffee intake in the past three months."
Roxanne frowns. "Am I hurting him by being here?"
Minion hesitates. "You…confuse him. He's tired a lot, and he isn't thinking clearly. His behavior is more erratic than it usually is." He blinks, and hastily adds, "Don't leave, though. He'll figure this out; he figures everything out if he has enough time. It's just. Hard."
Roxanne nods, carrying the plates to the sink. Minion shoves her gently out of the way. "I'll take it from here," he says. "You go get some rest."
Roxanne half-smiles, confused. "But you said-"
The Look Minion sends her speaks volumes, and she chuckles. "Okay. Rest. Okay."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Megamind is already in bed when she gets there, lying on his side with his eyes closed. Roxanne gets into her pajamas as quietly as she can manage, but as soon as she climbs carefully in beside him, Megamind murmurs, "How much did he give me?"
Roxanne blinks at him, then almost kicks herself. Minion, you're amazing. Of course Megamind had known immediately, would have noticed the difference. "Two hundred milligrams."
"Two hundred…" He sighs a little, sniffs. He does not open his eyes. "Caffeine pills," he says softly. "Why didn't I think of that? It would be so simple."
Roxanne settles next to him, though not as close as usual. "You probably just had more important things on your mind. Does my being here hurt you, at all?"
He opens his eyes then and looks over at her, and he smiles. "Come here," he says, and pushes her shoulder gently, and she rolls over as well so that they are lying back to front, and he wraps both arms around her and tucks her head under his chin. "No, you aren't hurting me. Certainly not right now. Caffeine blocks my receptors, and that much should last me at least twelve hours or so."
"It's addictive, though, and Minion said-"
He snorts into her hair. "Roxanne, there are worse things than being a caffeine addict. And I can guess what Minion said. He forgets that I'm not half as fragile as he thinks I am, and he's been twice as protective of me since Titan happened."
She shifts a little, yawns. "Still. I've never seen you rant like that before, not about that."
"I know." He's quiet for a minute, and when he speaks again, Roxanna almost has to strain to hear him. "It's going to take me a while to get used to this. I know we haven't been together very long, and at the risk of sounding too serious - I worry, sometimes. A lot."
It's easier to talk to him in the dark, when she can't see his face. It seems to be the same for him - in the darkness, they are both only voices. "What are you worried about?"
"I'm not human."
"Megamind-"
His arms tighten very slightly. "Just listen. I worry that one day I am going to say something wrong or do something so completely insane that it wakes you up to the fact that you are dating someone who isn't even your species. If you suddenly turn around and realize that I'm fucking blue, with an ego the size of Brooklyn and a head-to-body ratio of a Lego toy-"
Roxanne snorts.
"I'm serious," Megamind exclaims. "I've done the calculations. The proportions are almost identical."
"I meant your ego," she tells him. "It's a lot larger than Brooklyn."
"We can't even go out in public together!" he snaps, and that's when Roxanne realizes just how serious Megamind really is. "You don't deserve that. You deserve to be with someone who can at least go out with you without wearing a disguise."
"And you don't deserve that?" she shoots back.
"No." It's his initial response, knee-jerk reaction, and it makes Roxanne sit bolt upright.
"No?" she repeats, incredulous. "Excuse me. No?"
He sits up as well, defensive now and tired, but his receptors are out cold and he can think clearly for once. "Yes, no. For god's sake, Roxanne, I don't deserve any of this. People have died because of me, and the casualties aren't going to stop now that I've switched sides. What happens when another villain shows up?" He spreads his hands helplessly. "I don't have super-speed or strength, or hearing, or laser vision. All I have is a head that's too big for my body and a brain to match!"
Roxanne puts her hands on his shoulders. "And a brain to match," she echoes. "And that brain can out-think any human on Earth twice over. You're more than a match for any villain. You were more than a match for the heroes who came after you, remember? All except Metro Man."
Megamind laughs a little bit. "Yeah, well. We just knew each other too well." He sobers. "But Titan was a challenge, more of a challenge than I'd like. We only barely beat him, you know that. We just got lucky."
"And there will be an element of danger to every confrontation," Roxanne agrees. "Otherwise they wouldn't be confrontations. It'll be difficult, but life hasn't been easy for either of us. We're used to difficulty." She smiles. "You'll be fine. And remember, you don't know that there will be any villains to fight. Sure, you defeated Titan, but that doesn't automatically label you Metro City's new hero. Who knows? Once the rebuild project is over, maybe people will finally just leave you alone."
His heart clenches. "That would be nice," he says in a low voice. But how else is he supposed to fix everything? He has to pick a side, has to find some purpose. If no villains turn up, what else is he supposed to do?
Megamind had been Metro City's resident villain, and Metro Man had been the resident hero. Was there any other way? Would transient villains turn up, and then leave once he had defeated them? And what is he supposed to do in the meantime?
Roxanne is quiet while he spins through the questions, but when she lies down and Megamind finally curls up beside her, he is left with more questions than when he started and too few answers.
But he's exhausted, and Roxanne's breathing and heartbeat are slow and even, and finally he sighs and lets his eyes fall closed and follows her down into sleep.
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