ARRRR! losthostage be a moron. If ye're readin' this, ye ARRRRen't neARRRly as astute as ye try te' be!

I been out to sea. Twas a productive jARRRney.

I be tryin' to amass an ARRRRMY of pirates. I be takin aplications.

I be wantin te rape n' pillage the internet! I'm gonna be doin' it I say!

YAR! ThusfARR this night be a grand for pillaging jAAARRRnals. Even the FrARRRnds only ones got a taste!

HIPPIES! Prepare to be pillaged!

I am the dreaded Red Beard! I haunt the vast livejournal comunity, looking for ways to stir up trouble and hate emo kids! ARARARARAR!