The Words We Could Never Say [ a remake ] || Buffy/Faith || Part Two
Title: The Words We Could Never Say
Author: cuzimastripper
Beta: supershineygirl
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Rating: Eh, I give it R. Nothing too explicit... yet. lol
Pairing(s): Buffy/Faith
Word Length Thus Far: 17,601 words
Timeline: Post "Chosen", though has nothing to do with the season 8 comics.
Summary: There was a lot of emotions Faith thought she would see from Buffy, but jealousy was never one of them.
A/N: This is a remake of the story She's Mine that I wrote when I was 17. Seriously, read at your own risk, but for the love of god read this first. Ha. I cringed when I read it. Man... my writing then... but, anyway. I thought it would be fun to do, remake something from almost six years ago. It'll probably be a bit longer than that was. Alright, yeah, it will be. But that's cause nothing flowed well in that one. For. Real. I'll probably change some things up too. Hell, already am. Alot. Er...
Other Parts: PART ONE
CHAPTER FOUR
Talking wasn’t high on their list of priorities, mainly because both of them weren’t looking forward to it, but two days later that’s what they did. Talked. Sorta. It was late at night and Faith was about to turn in when she heard a familiar knock on her door. Knowing who it was before she even opened it, she unconsciously fixed her hair and readjusted her bra. Not that she was trying to look pretty for-alright, fine, she was. But it was just a habit. They die hard and… all of that. Whatever.
When she opened the door, something was tossed in her direction. Faith catches it out a reflex, then looks down. “Wanna go slaying?” Buffy asks, a little smile on her face. The grin spreads across Faith’s.
“Like I’d turn that down.” She plays with the stake between her fingers a bit before asking as she grabs her coat. “We teaching the noobs?”
“Nah, most of them still need to rest. Recuperate. Just thought. You know. Just us oldies. It’d give us a chance to…” Buffy trails off, shrugging.
“Do what we gotta do,” Faith finishes as she wraps her leather jacket around her. Buffy nods.
Talking while slaying though had to be one the better decisions both of them made. If things got too heated they could kicks some ass and dust some demons without taking it out on each other. There’s probably some therapy technique like that, but probably not as violent.
You probably don’t breathe in undead fungus after either.
Buffy sneezes after she dusts a vamp, making a face. “Ugh, that went right up my nose.”
Faith chuckles a bit as Buffy sneezes again. She leans against a headstone, arms crossed over her chest. “You know, that might be what causes the H&H, if you think about it. Like a drug. Up your nose. All… fuckin’ up your system. Maybe it’s like slayer cocaine.” She laughs a bit.
“I told you I don’t get H&H,” Buffy retorts, rubbing her nose for good measure. She blinks a bit, then turns to Faith.
“You’re full of shit,” Faith tells her, smirking. Buffy just ignores her comment, stalking off in the other direction. “I know you get the itch, girlfriend. We all do.”
“Come on, there’s gotta be more down this way,” Buffy says, still ignoring her.
Faith gets off the headstone, the smirk still lingering on her face. They walk together for a bit in silence, the eerily unsettling vibe of the graveyard washing over them. Yeah, there was definitely more around here. But it’s faint, so they know they aren’t going to come across one any time soon. “So,” Buffy starts, the awkwardness back in her voice. “We should…”
“Yeah,” Faith agrees, just wanting to get it over with. She plays with the stake in her hands as they walk across the grass. “So how we gonna have this play out? I say sorry, you punch me a couple times, and that’s that then?”
“Because that’s healthy,” Buffy deadpans, but she smirks a bit before shrugging. She sighs. “I don’t know. Guess I already punched you out more than enough times, so we can skip that part.”
“Good, cause last time I swear you almost dislocated my jaw.”
“You had it coming.”
“Always do,” Faith responds, but it’s a sigh. Defeat. Maybe sadness. Fuck it. “Look, I am… y’know. Sorry about, fuck, everything. Taking out my teenage angst on you like it was your fault.” She doesn’t look at her when she says it, but that’s okay because Buffy isn’t looking at her either. They just walk side by side through the maze of headstones and trees.
“Part of it was my fault,” Buffy says quietly, and it makes Faith’s face color in confusion and annoyance.
“Don’t do that, B. Fuckin’ hate when you do that.”
“What?”
“Do the whole self-pity bullshit. Ain’t none of that on you, and frankly you don’t make it any better when you pretend it is. You can’t carry around everything on your shoulders. And my shit ain’t yours to deal with,” Faith tells her. It makes Buffy stop, turning to look at her. Faith stops too, arms crossed over her chest. She can feel the annoyance radiating off of Buffy. Or maybe it was her own, just reversed cause of the whole connection. It’s too complicated to think about extensively, that’s for sure.
“I’m not doing anything like that,” Buffy retorts. Her own arms fold across her chest, defensive as well. “You’re only half of the story, Faith. Now do you wanna stop acting like a brat, shut up, and hear mine? Or do you just wanna throw down since apparently that’s all we’re good at doing?”
“Name calling is real mature, Buffy.”
“Well if you listened for one damn second then maybe I wouldn’t have to,” Buffy snaps. Faith falls silent though, cocking an eyebrow in her direction as she waits expectantly. “It was just that…” Buffy starts, then sighs. She turns and starts walking again, and Faith follows. “When you came to town you were like… a sister. Almost. We had this connection and it was so amazing and, well, you know. But I got - and I swear if you repeat this to anyone I will personally remove your larynx - I got… jealous. I guess. You were… untamed, I guess would be the word. Everyone loved you and everyone wanted to be you. It pissed me off and I just kind of… shut you out. I made everyone shut you out.”
“Think I made everyone shut me out when I switched teams,” Faith said softly, but it was only so she could blame herself. Part of her knows what Buffy’s saying is true, and that it makes sense. Not that she was gonna blame Buffy for what happened, but maybe if… maybe if it didn’t happen like that she wouldn’t have felt that she needed to go to someone else for some kind of love and acceptance, even if he was evil.
“Before that,” Buffy says, just as softly. The grass crunches beneath their feet as they walk, then finally she says, “So. I’m sorry. About doing that to you.”
“It ain’t nothin’ now,” Faith responds, then pulls her arms around herself as she knows it’s her turn. Vulnerable. Fuck. She ain’t the kind of person that just-this ain’t her thing. Sharing. Feelings. Verbal ones, anyway. “But, y’know, I was jealous of you too.”
“I know.”
Faith looks over at Buffy, pursing her lips together a little. “Family. Friends. The whole nine yards. Think that’s why it was always about you. Maybe. Just… trying to destroy the one thing you had that I didn’t. Make you feel what it was like. I was just… fuck. An uncontrollable fuckin’ time bomb. Didn’t know which way I supposed to go, but it seemed I always ended up back at you. It was always about you.”
“Because of the jealousy?”
“Something like that,” Faith says, knowing full well it isn’t just about that. It was always about Buffy because Buffy was her other half, whether she liked it or not. Whether they ever became a whole or were doomed to wander the earth without ever knowing that connection.
“But there’s more.” It’s a soft statement; she already knows. Faith stops, letting out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. She leans against another headstone, the marble cold underneath her palms as she presses against it.
“Ain’t there always, B? With us. It’s always more than what… fuck, what it’s supposed to be.”
Buffy shrugs a little, looking down as she moves to lean on the headstone next to her. There’s silence for a moment. Just the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, making the branches creak and the leaves shudder. “It’s different with us,” she agrees, finally.
“Hundreds, hell, maybe thousands of slayers awakening across the world. So why is it that I can still only feel you like this?” Faith asks her. She doesn’t look at her though.
“I don’t know,” Buffy says. “Probably has to do with destiny, or some prophecy, or another end of the world scenario.”
“Figures,” Faith scoffs lightly. “Leave it to my feelings to end the freaking world.” Another scoff, and the last word is softer, barely even audible. “Again.”
“And what feelings are those?” Buffy asks lightly, and Faith can tell she’s looking at her now. She can feel her eyes on her, but she doesn’t look back.
“Y’know,” Faith says softly, meaning more than what she’s saying. But she switches it quickly, tries to cover it up to, “Just. The Slayer connection. Whatever.”
“You were wrong, you know,” Buffy says suddenly, and it makes Faith look over at her. Buffy’s eyes meet hers. “About the thing you said before, back in Sunnydale. Us not getting along because we weren’t supposed to exist with each other. If that were true, we’d have a whole mess of girls fighting all the time now. Besides, Kendra, before you… yeah, we didn’t get along, but there was no… connection. No feeling. No dreams.”
“Great then,” Faith says with a light sarcasm. “Glad to know we’re the only fucked up ones then.”
Buffy laughs lightly. “Maybe we are a bit fucked up,” she agrees. She nudges Faith a little with her elbow, softly, just getting her attention. “But maybe we should just… stop. The past happened; it was screwed up, yeah, but we can’t keep-you know, making everything more of a hell when there’s already enough hell all around us. There’s just no more time to fight and be childish about it. We got a whole slew of new slayers that need guidance from us and maybe we should, I don’t know. Kind of set some sort of example.”
“Be adults, you mean?” Faith says, but it’s lightly teasing. Buffy smiles a bit, then nods.
“Yeah. We have to grow up sometime.”
But Faith isn’t listening anymore. She puts a hand on Buffy’s arm, stilling her as a smile creeps across her face. “You feel that?” she asks, excitement in her voice.
Buffy stops, a smile forming over her own face. Her eyes twinkle. “Come on,” she says, before taking off through the maze of graves, Faith hot on her heels.
This time it was almost like the past again; the perfectly timed banter and fluidity of their movements. Their last slay was two individuals working together. This? Maybe there was something different now. It was more like one slayer in two bodies. Defense and offense; they switched so rapidly but so easily, each giving the other a turn without even having to speak to synchronize their movements. When the stakes came down to deliver that final blow, it was as if there was something that pulled them to do it together, the dust scattering into the wind before their eyes, leaving them facing each other.
“Don’t breathe in,” Faith jokes.
“Why not? If you’re little theory proves right, then I’m already high,” Buffy says, smirking. She tucks the stake into her back pocket, dusting off her hands.
“You feelin’ it then?” Faith asks, curiosity and wonder peaked in her voice as she takes in Buffy’s form. Poised; on edge. Her muscles ripped and ready. A shiver, though Buffy will probably say it’s cause of the wind. Oh yeah, she’s feeling it.
“I’m not adding to your little perverted fantasies,” Buffy tells her, but she’s smirking. She hits Faith lightly in the stomach as she starts walking. “Come on.”
“Hey, who said you were in my fantasies?” Faith retorts as she follows behind her. “Conceited a bit, aren’t we?”
Buffy snorts, “Let’s not kid ourselves, F.” It’s said lightly, teasing, but it makes Faith wonder how much she really knows about how she feels about it. About her. About everything. But if she does know, it also makes Faith wonder why the hell she isn’t running screaming or kicking her ass into next Sunday. But that little window of opportunity makes her try to stick her head through. Or maybe up her ass, depending on how this goes.
“So you wanna hit a bar with me? Feed the hungries a bit?” Faith asks. It’s light, but all she can think about in her head is how much it just sounds like she just asked her out on a fuckin’ date. “We can find someone else to take care of that other H there too,” she adds as an afterthought, just trying to make it not sound like she was asking her out.
“I don’t pick up like you do,” Buffy tells her as they walk out of the graveyard and down the street. “And frankly? Rather not see you do it either. Would like to keep my food down.”
“Ha, ha,” Faith says dryly. But then she shrugs. “Fine, just us then. No beefsticks or rug munchers. Whatever. One H down is better than none.”
Buffy shifts her eyes a bit to look over at her. “You do play both sides then?” she asks, curious. But she shakes her head a little, as if deciding she doesn’t want to get into that whole thing, and says instead, “Nevermind. Yeah, food sounds good.”
It wasn’t until an hour later, when they sat at the bar with enough food in front of them that could probably feed a small army, that that conversation is revisited. Faith didn’t know why it really mattered much to Buffy, or maybe she was just trying to… hell, bond, or some weird crap like that. “So,” Buffy starts, waving a french fry about absentmindedly. “This girl thing. When’d that start?”
When I met you. But Faith doesn’t say that, thank god, she just shrugs instead. “Y’know. Prison. Girl-lovin’ only up in there. Unless you wanna boink the guards and - ew. Ain’t desperate enough for all that. Though one bastard did try to rape me,” Faith laughs a bit at that while Buffy looks horrified. “Hey,” she says noticing her look. “Come on, like it would have ever gone down like that. Mother fucker got his face busted and his shoulder dislocated. Spent awhile in solitary for that, but it was worth it.”
“Jesus,” Buffy says, taking that in. Her eyes widen and she pops the fry into her mouth. But she lets it go, changing the conversation back. Well, sort of back. Now they were on the whole relationship conversation that they sort of had back in the dressing room. “So have you ever actually had a connection with someone that was… meaningful?”
“As in, lasting for more than a night?” Faith asks, picking up her jack and coke and taking a sip as she peered over at her.
“Yeah.”
“No. Well, I don’t know. In prison there was this girl. We fucked on a pretty regular basis, but maybe that’s cause you can’t exactly get some and get gone in that joint. Wouldn’t call it a relationship though.”
“So what would you call it? Did you like her?” Buffy pries, though she does it in a way that makes her seem like she’s being casual about it. She’s not looking at her, just saying words in between poppin’ french fries in her mouth. Faith knits her eyebrows together.
“Seriously. What’s with the sudden curiosity?”
Buffy lets out a dramatic sigh, rolling her eyes for effect. “I’m just trying to, I don’t know, have some sort of normal conversation with you. One that doesn’t involve screaming or angst. Is that a crime now?”
“No. It’s just weird,” Faith says honestly, picking at the food on her plate. She was starting to get full.
“Fine. Then we’ll talk about something else,” Buffy decides, but Faith doesn’t want to. That other H was sticking its’ head in where it doesn’t belong, especially with Buffy around.
“Nah, you know what? We should probably head back,” Faith says, making a point to look out towards the door instead of at Buffy.
“Oh,” Buffy says, surprised. Maybe disappointed? But Faith couldn’t put her finger on it. “Yeah, that’s fine. Tomorrow I guess we should start figuring out where we’re all going to go too. We can’t stay here forever.”
“Don’t think I’d want to,” Faith responds as she slaps some money on the counter to pay for the bill. “That place gives me the creeps.”
“The heeby-jeebies,” Buffy agrees. She starts to pull some money out to pay for her part, but Faith waves it off.
“I got it, B.”
“And where did you get money?”
“Same place you did: Angel. Come on, let’s get out of here. That guy over there looks like he’s five seconds from comin’ over and trying to get you in the sack,” Faith tells her, standing up. Buffy looks over to where she was motioning too.
“Oh, ew,” she says, giggling. It makes Faith crack a smirk, but then the guy starts moving towards them. Faith rolls her eyes.
“I got this,” she says, and puts an arm around Buffy’s waist. Buffy looks surprised for a minute, but Faith is looking over at the guy, cocking an eyebrow and giving him a ‘don’t you dare’ look. He stops in his tracks, almost gawking at the two of them.
Buffy laughs, “Oh, my hero.”
“You know me,” Faith jokes, leading her out the door. Maybe her arm lingered around her a little longer than it should, but Buffy didn’t push her off. It was all just a joke anyway. Shits and giggles. Fucking around with some guy just cause they could.
But when her arm does fall back to her side, she realizes how much she missed it. How much she could still almost feel it. The tingles; the heat that comes with it. The everything.
Even if it did mean nothing at all.
A/N: So yeah, wrote up through chapter 10 last night (go me!) so I figured I should start posting them more often now. Ha. Also, the story rating is now changed to R. At some point it will end up NC-17 but not yet. Uh, hm. Yeah, about about my OC? She's not an OC. I suck at making originals, so this is kind of a crossover. So if you guess the fandom, go you! Haha.
CHAPTER FIVE
Taking care of that other H shouldn’t have been this fuckin’ difficult.
She was in her room. Buffy had gone to hers, the lights were out, her clothes were off, and she was trying to take care of business. The heat was dominating her abdomen, the flashes of the slay and the bar were filling her mind and fuck, she just needed to get off. Her fingers slipped over herself almost tauntingly slow, making her gasp into the darkness of the room and arc her hips into her hand.
She started imagining all the little scenarios that could have happened that night, if only something like them could ever happen. The slay done, the heat and the passion being fueled between the two of them so much that they could feel it crawling all over them. Eyes locked and bodies intertwined and somehow it suddenly jumped to Buffy being bent over stark fuckin’ nude over a gravestone with Faith’s fingers buried in her tight little pussy.
It wasn’t like this was anything new. No, she’s fucked herself plenty of times thinking about Buffy. Even when she hated her, she wanted to fuck her just to destroy her, own her in a way. It’s always been about Buffy whether it was about love or hate. Her whole fucking universe revolved around that woman, and frankly?
…It was a bit pathetic.
Faith lets out a frustrated sigh and stops herself halfway through; her breathing labored and her chest heaving from anger. She turns her face to look at the wall; the wall that separates her and Buffy’s room and she locks her jaw. This was so fucking pathetic.
Was this all she was going to be? All she was gonna do? Just waste her life away pining over some woman who can barely even stand to be in the same room with her?
Alright, well, apparently she can stand it now. They had their little truce and fuckin’… whatever. But that still doesn’t change the fact that Buffy would have to be clinically psychotic to ever want Faith the way she so desperately wants her too. Needs her too. She’s all she wants and all that she’s never going to get and instead of trying to move on she just continues to sink herself just a little deeper. She always pushes her fuckin’ fingers in just a bit deeper and pants out her name before she releases, letting the sadness wash over her as much as the damn orgasm does.
Faith was never one to be emotional; at least not in front of people. She puts on a hard face and makes any kind of weakness turn to anger instead because she refuses to ever let anyone know how fuckin’ broken she really is. But that doesn’t mean that when she’s alone that she doesn’t cry. Cause she does. All the damn time.
She hates it, hates all of it. And as she feels the tears start to well up in her eyes she sits up quickly, maybe trying to jolt herself out of it. Snap some damn sense into herself. She takes a breath, trying to just not think, before she rises from the bed and grabs her clothes. Fuck all of this.
It just has to stop.
Her clothes are on in a rush and she’s out the door in all the same. She just needs to get away. Hell, find someone to take her away. Not in that stupid knight in shining armor crap way, but just take her out of her head. Hell, take Buffy out of her head. Fuck her to make her forget. It always works, just the problem is that once their gone and out the door it all comes back again. Every single miserable part of it.
Faith hates feeling sorry for herself, it makes her seem like a spoiled brat who’s crying cause they can’t get the shiny toy they want. But Buffy was more than just a toy. She was more than just some prize to be owned. She was… fuck. Everything. All of it. With a nice little fuckin’ bow on top.
Picking up was easy. It always is. She knows she was born lucky; to look the way she does. If sex came in human form she’d be pretty damn close to how it looks. The hair, the lips, the breasts, the dangerous air and cocky attitude and fuck, yeah, it’s just easy. Almost too damn easy.
She wasn’t picky tonight, she doesn’t think she could handle being that way cause the longer it takes for her to find someone the longer she keeps thinking about Buffy and how she wishes she was trying to pick up her. The first person who showed an interest was the one who ended up in her bed; Faith on top in some sweaty, raw, sexual haze. She lets her body take over and says adios to the thinking cause thinking never leads to anywhere good.
But it’s almost like animals. When you let your body take over it all becomes instinctual it turns into something that dances with the line between human and primal. Rough, hard, bordering on almost abusive with the biting and the scratching and just, hell, owning. Owning another human being just because you can, if only for a moment. It’s loud and it’s passionate and it’s so fucking sexy that yeah, for a second she forgets about Buffy. And that was the point, wasn’t it?
Hours. Hours and fuckin’ hours of nothing but sex. It was strange that she found someone with enough stamina to rival her own, but she ate it up because it tasted so fuckin’ good. But eventually the stamina wore out with both of them, and as she collapsed on the bed, eyes closed and breathing labored, her guest sat up a little, a little smirk lingering.
“That was fun,” the girl states, in this almost airy way as she made light of something that was fuckin’… Faith wouldn’t say incredible, that might be giving it too much credit, but it was pretty damn close to amazing, regardless.
Faith doesn’t say anything; she just rolls over and stares at the ceiling, wiping the hair out of her face. Her face is flushed and she can still feel the mist of sweat on her body. She takes a deep breath. Man. She needed that.
The girl peers down at her, almost inquisitively. She’s a bit out of breath herself, but it’s not as pronounced. Almost as if she’s learned to quiet herself on command. “Did you get what you needed?” she asks her, like she knows more than what she’s letting on. Faith turns her head to look at her.
“Yeah. Thanks for the orgasms,” she says, though maybe it’s hinted with a bit of sarcasm because somehow, what she just said, turned on her defense mechanism. This was… weird. There was something off about this girl.
“You’re welcome,” she replies with a little smile; that light, airy tone back again. Maybe she was a bit crazy. Go figure for Faith to pick the most fucked up broad in the whole damn bar. What was her name again? She doesn’t remember her even saying…
“I don’t think I got your name,” Faith says, sitting up as she finds her clothes. She picks up the girls shirt first though and throws it at her. She catches it easily.
“That’s because I never told you,” she replies, like it should have been obvious, as she slides the shirt over her head. Her blonde hair spills down around her shoulders and she looks at her.
Though, on a completely unrelated note: go figure she’d be fucking a blonde too. What is it, some kind of weakness she has? Fuckin’ stupid.
But it was weird, the girl not saying her name, even when she asked. She half expected her to get pissed off at her, like most women. Faith could never remember names; they just weren’t her strong suit. “You gonna tell me?” Faith asks, the defense kicking in again. Something wasn’t right.
“No,” she replies as she pulls on her jeans. “But I don’t think I want to know yours either.”
“What is this? Some kind of kinky fetish you have? Fuckin’ strangers and never wanting to know who they are?” She could be down with that, honestly. But it still didn’t seem like that was it either.
“No. I just don’t trust you,” the girl tells her simply. Then she cocks her head to the side in thought a bit. “And I don’t think I care what your name is.”
“And you’re making me trust you even less than I already do, which usually means that you’re about to fuck me over and we’re gonna have to throw down,” Faith says as she grabs her clothes and starts putting them back on, keeping one eye on her the whole time.
“You don’t have anything I want,” the girl says flatly, like that made some kind of fucking sense. But then Faith thinks about it a bit. What was she, some kind of thief? It was the only thing that even made it into the realm of slightly logical with all this… fuck. Craziness. No name, no trust, no whatever. But hey, she does have nice things. Fucking hella nice things after being able to go spree with Angel’s plastic. She might be offended that this girl, if she is a thief, doesn’t even find anything of hers worth stealing.
Bitch.
But then the girl doesn’t go for the door, she goes for the window. Faith stares at her like she’s got five fuckin’ heads and one of them is starting to yodel. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Leaving.”
“Out the window? Are you fucking insane?”
The girl looks at her, blinking a few times with this blank eerie sort of stare. “It’s only three stories up,” she says, completely ignoring the insane comment and saying it in a way that made Faith feel… weird. This girl really was a bit off.
“There’s no fire escape.”
“And that’s what makes it fun,” she says with a little smile… and then she’s just fucking gone. Faith blinks and stands up, making her way over to the window just in time to see her scaling down the drainpipe and her feet hitting the ground before she takes off into the darkness.
Man, she needs to start fucking normal people.
The next morning she woke up to the sight of Buffy… standing over her. Faith jerks up straight in bed out of automatic reaction, clutching the covers to her chest. “Fuck, shit, god damnit B, what the hell are you doing??” Faith mumbles in her sleepy and startled haze. She rubs the sleep out of her eyes so she can see clearly. Damn, way to freak a bitch out. Just kinda creepy when you wake up and someone’s standing over you. It’s like in the horror movies before some hot bitch gets her heart cut out of her chest and shown to her.
That better not be on Buffy’s agenda this morning.
“Nice mouth,” Buffy deadpans, a hint of annoyance seeping into her voice. She walks away from the bed and over to the window to yank open the curtains. Light floods into the room and Faith makes some kind of whiny, aggravated noise before throwing the covers back over her head.
What the fuck. She’s still freaking tired.
“Get up, it’s almost noon and we have to train some of the newbies,” Buffy tells her flatly. Faith doesn’t have to be looking at her to know that she has her hands on her hips. Faith has no idea what’s up with the attitude this morning, but she’s really not digging it. Didn’t they call truce? Does she have to wave a white flag now? God damn.
“I’m tired,” Faith complains, just cause it’s early and she’s grumpy. She makes a face and wipes the fallen strands of brunette hair off her face. Damnit, she wants to go back to bed. She lies back down, flopping back and staring up the ceiling.
“Yeah, well, me too,” Buffy says, irritated. “You kept me up last night. Really considerate, by the way.”
Faith blinks as this heavy weight makes its way down her throat and lays camp in her abdomen. She turns her head to look at Buffy, who had her arms crossed over her chest as she looks down at her disapprovingly. “You heard me?” Faith asks, though clearly that much was obvious.
“What I heard was more like animals during mating season,” Buffy says flatly, her annoyance with the situation written all over her face. Faith sits up though, still making sure to keep the covers over her as she does so since she hasn’t bothered to put clothes back on last night. “This is not a whore house, Faith,” Buffy continues in her little high-and-mighty disapproving voice that just works at Faith’s last nerve. Her own grumpiness wasn’t helping the situation much either and it makes her snap back,
“Whatever, you can stand there and act like you’re better than me because you like to pretend you don’t feel it like I do, but I’m willing to bet you got yourself off to the sounds of my little mating session last night, Twinkie.”
She should have expected what was coming next, and part of her damn well knows she deserved it since that was kind of over the line, but when Buffy’s fist connected with her jaw it still knocked her back, disoriented her for a moment, until her instincts took over and the next thing she knew she had Buffy pinned against the far wall, forearm over her throat and her breathing ragged from rage.
Shit.
But Buffy doesn’t make a move, she just stands there, letting Faith hold her since she still couldn’t bring herself to press down and apply pressure enough to threaten her. Their eyes connect and Buffy taunts her, “Press down. I dare you.” It almost makes Faith think that she just let her make that move just to see what would come after it.
“Fuck you.”
It’s said softly, almost a hissing sound through her teeth as they continue to stare at each other, neither moving but both calculating reactive moves if the other one dares to begin their dance. Faith notices Buffy’s breathing change, just slightly. Not as defensive anymore but more… anticipation.
It wasn’t like Faith studied people, or ever cared to. But if there was one thing she did take in from her slayer training it was how to spot signs of weakness and changes in strategy. Not that Faith knew how to make any of them turn in her favor when she’s up against Buffy though. Everything with her is always just… running on emotions. Pure feeling.
“You used to not hesitate,” Buffy says, but its softer. There’s still a hint of a challenge behind her words but it was mostly masked by her own curiosity.
“You used to not wait for me to make a move,” Faith counters in a voice equally as soft. Buffy just stares hard into her eyes for a moment, until Faith notices them become a bit softer as she lets them drop slowly, looking over her darker counterpart.
“You need to get dressed,” Buffy states flatly, but it’s also hinted in this odd tone that Faith can’t place. But that snaps her out of it and she steps away from Buffy, backing up a few steps. She still doesn’t move for her clothes though; she just looks at her.
“Truce over?” Faith asks, trying to not make the disappointment and sadness seep out through her words. She tries to make it comes out strong, but she doesn’t think she succeeded very well.
Buffy blinks, tearing her eyes away from Faith’s nude body to look up at her face. “No,” she says simply. She grabs Faith’s tank top off of the bedside table and throws it at her, and the brunette catches it easily. “But I still don’t think I know how to start my day unless I get to clock you in the jaw.”
That makes Faith crack a smirk as she slides her shirt over her head. “You still got a mean right hook.” That makes Buffy smirk as well before she turns towards the door. But then she stops as her hand touches the doorknob, and Faith can see her take a breath. She turns back around and Faith watches her out of her peripheral vision, surprised to notice that Buffy was very much looking at her as she pulls on her panties.
“Keep looking at me like that and we’re never gonna leave this room,” Faith says, that little hint of cocky arrogance in her voice that usually makes her want to slap herself silly after she uses it. Man, she needs to really start using that brain to mouth filter, she’s gonna get herself into trouble.
“What? I’m not-! Faith!” Buffy exclaims, all flustered and irritated as she narrows her eyes and stomps her foot a little to make her point. “That wasn’t what I was-! Just get dressed!” she snaps and then in a flash she’s out the door, it slamming behind her.
Whoops.
Yeah, she really needs to start controlling that better. But Buffy was looking, she didn’t imagine that. And maybe it was just cause she’s one big giant prude and nudity either offends or intrigues her, but still. She was looking. At Faith. All… naked. At all her naked little parts.
And even though she just pissed Buffy off by stating that fact out loud, she can’t help the smile that’s on her face. On some level, hell, it doesn’t matter which one, but on some level Buffy couldn’t take her eyes off of her.
And she’ll take that… no matter what the reasons were.
CHAPTER SIX
Faith should have known better.
Last night they didn’t go slaying with the noobs so they could all rest and recuperate, and yet today they were training them? If Faith took two seconds to think about that, she might not have been surprised when she walked into the training room to find it empty except for Buffy. But she didn’t think, and so she was surprised. Or more like confused. She was still only half awake, after all. The fact that she can even form a fragment of a thought right now should really be considered some sort of accomplishment.
“Whoa. Am I early to class for once?” Faith asks, surprised, as she walks into the large rectangular room. Her sneakers squeaking slightly on the polished wood, reminding her of her high school gym in a way. Minus the fat, underachieving asshole of a teacher that she had. Faith figures she might be the underachieving asshole now, never doin’ the normal thing cause of destiny and some other crap. But hey, at least she isn’t fat. She’ll take the points on that one.
Buffy looks up at her as she sweeps her blonde hair back into a ponytail. She leaves a few stray stands to frame her face, and Faith tries like hell not the stare because she’s pretty sure that finding Buffy mesmerizing when she’s only fixing her hair is probably a bit ridiculous. “I tried to rally together the troops, but there were only a handful able bodied enough to train. Guess we’re going to have to wait a couple more days.”
Faith took a step back towards the door hopefully, “So crashin’ out is back on the agenda?”
“No, get in here,” Buffy orders in that special little way of hers that makes Faith feel like she has no other option. Damnit, she shouldn’t have asked; making a run for it probably would have yielded better results. But when given the option to run when it has anything to do with Buffy, she tends to find herself running towards her instead of away from her. Faith’s beginning to think she has some sort of masochistic complex going on.
Faith sighs a bit and unzips her hoodie as she watches Buffy stretch. “So what? Are we training the few that can?” Really though, Faith doesn’t know why she asks questions she already knows the answer to. Maybe she’s just trying to prolong it, put it off, something. She really didn’t feel like getting all sweaty; fuckin’ down and dirty with Buffy this morning.
Well, in the way that-
“No,” Buffy says as she stretches her arm across her chest, interrupting Faith’s thoughts for a moment. Her eyes scan down Buffy’s body, taking in every curve of every muscle. She’s a bit like a panther, if Faith needed to pick an animal to describe her. Strong; agile. Beautiful. Buffy doesn’t seem to notice her moment of appreciation though as she stretches her arm back behind her head. “Thought now would be a good time for us to map out a curriculum.”
“A what now?” Faith asks after she’s taken off her hoodie, eyebrow cocked as she takes her own rubber band off her wrist to tie her hair back off of her neck. “What is this? Slayers: A History?”
“No, Giles and Andrew are working on that,” Buffy says seriously, which just makes Faith cock her eyebrow even further because she was fucking joking. “But we should go over what we’re going to teach them, and when.”
“We teach them how to kick undead ass,” Faith says, like that in its self should have been plain as fuckin’ day. “The end.”
“Faith.”
“B, this is stupid. You do what you do and I’ll just go along with it, like always,” Faith says, crossing her arms across her chest. She really didn’t want to sit down and talk strategy. She was more of a doer than a planner. And yeah, maybe if she did think in terms of plans and strategies she’d come out on top more often. But does she look like she’s got the patience for that? Hell No. It just is what it is.
“It’s not stupid,” Buffy said with a bit of a huff, rolling her neck back a little. Faith can hear a small crack before she shakes it out and steps back in a defensive stance. “We’ll teach them blocking first. Be the offence; come at me.”
“This is pointless; we already know how we spar together. We’ve tried to fuckin’ kill each other; don’t think we need the practice. Besides, the kids helped save the world. I think they can block fine.”
“Fine isn’t good enough, Faith,” Buffy says seriously, and like she should have known that. “Come. At. Me.”
But Faith doesn’t want to just come at her. Not cause she doesn’t like sparring with Buffy, but just cause of what it does to her. Being up close and personal with a sweaty out of breath Buffy does things to places she’d rather not admit, least of all to her. There’s heat and there’s passion and it gets to the point where it’s either fight or fuck, and you can guess the one Faith tries to choose. So she just tries to play it off, act like it’s stupid, fuckin’ whatever she has to do to not get sucked into this hell hole of adrenaline and hormones.
“Nah, girlfriend. You have fun with... whatever. I’m just gonna-” Faith tries, stepping back with an amused look on her face and her hands up in surrender, just trying not to get herself in trouble by backing out. But Buffy was obviously having none of that, because before she can even finish her sentence, Buffy launched herself at her.
Well, apparently Faith is on the defense now. Typical.
“Fuck. Damnit!” Faith swears after she manages just barely to block Buffy’s first punch. “B, seriously-”
“Come on, block me,” Buffy taunts, and this time her punch did make it through Faiths’ defenses, making her stumble back a couple steps. Faith rubs her jaw in annoyance and Buffy’s smirking, looking like she enjoyed that a bit too much for just sparring. Great, cause this is really what she needed today.
“You don’t give a shit about training. All you want to do is hit me this morning,” Faith accuses, but this time she backs up just far enough to give herself room to deflect. She knows Buffy isn’t going to stop until one of them is on the ground, and it ain’t gonna be her. She’s been on bottom for this bitch more times than she can count.
Buffy snorts a bit, “What gave you that idea?” But then she swings again. Faith’s ready for it this time and blocks it cleanly, turning around in enough time to manage to get behind the blonde and slam her elbow between her shoulder blades. Buffy winces. “I said defensive!” she yells and she whips around to face her, rolling her back from the pain.
“You mean let you keep hitting me and I can do nothing about it?” Faith says, her eyes fired up and her muscles ready for a fight now. Her fists are up, her left foot back and planted to keep her ground. “I don’t think so.”
But there’s a twinkle in Buffy’s eye from that, almost like a challenge. “Aw, does Faithy think she can play with the big girls now?” she taunts, a little smirk on her face. They start circling each other slowly, never once letting their eyes leave each other. Dancing; like they always had. Taunting; because it’s the only thing they know how to do.
“Please. You play with fire, you’re about to get burned, sweetheart.”
“Is that so?”
“Come at me and find out.”
Buffy smirks, this sly little grin spreading across her face. She cocks her head and licks her bottom lip slightly before asking, her voice much lower than should ever be allowed, “And what if I said I wanted to get burned by you?” Her voice is dripping of sex and something much sweeter, using a tactic Faith didn’t see coming from a mile off.
It makes Faith blink in shock from that unexpected sentence, and that hesitation was all Buffy needed. Once she managed to get Faith’s hands where she needed them, one leg sweep was all it took to get the younger slayer flat on her back with Buffy pinning her down with a smirk of victory etched on her features. “And the winner is…” Buffy taunts, still keeping her grip locked on the girl’s wrists. Her touch was like fire to the younger woman.
“You cheated.”
“You should have never told me you had a weakness for women,” Buffy says with a smirk as she gets up and holds out her hand to Faith. She laughs a bit, “Come on, let’s go again.”
Faith makes a sound of annoyance at being beaten but begrudgingly takes Buffy’s hand and lets her help her up. “Never said it was a weakness,” Faith retorts, her ego bruised more than her body. She stretches her arm across her chest to work out the kink she feels as she takes a step back. That really wasn’t fair game right there.
“Maybe not, but I just proved it,” Buffy says, and it annoys Faith that she apparently finds it amusing. She cocks her head to the side, and proceeds to fuck with her mental state all over again, “Or is it that you just have a weakness for me?”
Faith’s brain stops, and as she tries to figure out something to say to that that doesn’t sound like a defensive retort or a straight out lie, she lets her defenses down again. Her hesitation costs her, again, and within minutes she’s flat against her back on the floor for the second time. “Stop doing that!” Faith yells, aggravated. Buffy just chuckles as she looks down at her.
“It’s not my fault you’re brain goes X rated in a matter of three seconds. You’re just like a guy.”
“Fuck off, will you? And get off of me while you’re at it,” Faith snaps in irritation, but Buffy doesn’t move. She continues to pin her down, just screwing with her because apparently it’s become her fun new game.
“What’s the matter? Too close for comfort?” Buffy taunts. Faith swears she must have some evil in her because all of a sudden she’s pressed, yeah, way too fuckin’ close for comfort. The fact that Buffy thinks this is just amusing, innocent fun annoys her even more, and she’s close to snapping. This isn’t fuckin’ funny anymore. “Thought you liked having boobs in your face.”
“What did I say about getting burned?” Faith asks her, her own anger from the situation turning very much into adrenaline and hormones, just as she feared in the first place. But it’s too late now, and Buffy’s just asking for it. Faith’s cocky arrogance arises and she smirks, lifting her head up enough to brush by Buffy’s ear, “You couldn’t handle playing with me, B. You’d be screaming before you even realized you’d touched the surface…” If Buffy wasn’t going to play fair, then neither was she. Her voice was low and slick like molasses and she could practically feel the heat radiating off of Buffy and the lust dripping from her own words.
She also noticed when her little sentence temporarily stunned the older slayer, which was all Faith needed. Buffy was the one on her back so quickly it was almost like a blur, and the Buffy struggles underneath her as she screams, “Damnit! Faith!” It’s Faith’s turn to chuckle now. Who’s the bitch now?
“Told you.”
“Get off of me!”
“So what? You can torture me again? No thanks, think I’d rather be the one on top right now.” Faith’s hands were pinning Buffy’s upper arms against the hard wood floor, her torso applying just enough weight to keep her there as long as she doesn’t get distracted again. She can see Buffy getting all worked up at her anger from being bested, and her eyes flash.
“Messing with you constitutes as torture now?” Buffy asks, giving up on struggling since she knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere unless she threw Faith off again. But Faith was prepared for it this time. Sort of. “Or do you really just want to fuck everything?”
“Eat me.”
“You’d probably like that too much.”
“Y’know, I probably would,” Faith says, almost a snarl. She’s fed up with this stupid game. Buffy isn’t gonna make her break. She cracks a smirk and taunts back, “But seeing as you’re the one who keeps bringing it up, I’m beginning to wonder a bit about you.” Buffy’s eyes go wide, and apparently Faith hit a sore spot.
A very sore spot.
“Fuck you, I bet you screw yourself at night thinking about me!” Buffy yells suddenly, and gets up enough adrenaline from her fury to knock Faith off of her, but only for a moment. Her hands connect with Faith’s chest but Faith grabs her wrists, pinning her down heavily, her face inches from hers. “Slut,” Buffy spits out at her. “You’ve always been obsessed with me.”
“Oh go fuck yourself, you cocky bitch. Unlike you I get some when I need it, I wouldn’t waste my time thinking about you.”
Liar.
They’re both breathing heavily, the passion from the anger humming across their skin like torture, and as they glare at each other they start to feel something that neither of them were expecting to feel in that moment. There’s silence. Long silence that seems to stretch on forever and taunt both of them. Faith can feel her grip slacking, but Buffy doesn’t move. She just lies there, seemingly letting Faith own her for a second. What was going on? This is the part you feared, Faith. The part when the line blurs and everything doesn’t make sense. When things just run on feeling and fuck knows that never leads to anywhere good.
“Go to hell,” Buffy says softly, her voice catching a bit in her throat as Faith’s hands seem to have a mind of their own and slide down Buffy’s forearms softly, almost agonizingly slow. Buffy seems almost scared, yet almost breathless with anticipation. Terrified but letting this play out. Whatever this was.
It’s all a haze in Faith’s head. The screaming, the fighting, the position they were in how the air in the room seemed to be heavy with the stench of lust. If she was thinking straight she would have gotten up, left. Fuck. Run the hell away. This doesn’t make sense, any of it. They rip each other to bits and suddenly there’s… fuck. What was this? Some kind of a spark. Some kind of… fuck, hell? Yeah, she was definitely in some kind of hell, but god did it make her feel powerful.
“Only if you’re the one to take me there,” Faith retorts, her voice soft as she looks down at the woman beneath her. Her heart is going so fast she’s afraid it’s going to burst out of her chest. It gets worse when Buffy sits up then, only a little, but enough for Faith to feel her breath on her lips. Her senses are practically screaming, the slayer connection is going haywire and it was almost like the world around them fell away. Nothing mattered but them.
“Why is it always about me?” Buffy asks quietly, curiously, and Faith notices a slight shake in her voice. But if she’s scared she isn’t backing down. If anything, she’s getting closer. Faith looks down at Buffy’s lips for a second, wishing she had the nerve to just take what was so close to her. But Buffy wasn’t just some girl; she wasn’t just some normal fucking person. She was… everything.
Faith was terrified to screw that up, so she doesn’t answer her. She can barely even breathe right now with Buffy this close to her and all she can feel is the hum, everywhere, all over her skin. She knows they’re too close, knows that the second one of them moves an inch their lips will be touching, and it’s overwhelming. It’s one of those perfect, fucked up moments that you have no idea if you should run away from or dive in head first.
But the moment didn’t last long.
“Hey guys? What do you want me to do about the-HELLO.” Kennedy stops in surprise as she sees the state of the two girls on the floor. Faith tears her eyes off of Buffy to look over in surprise at their unexpected witness, which gives Buffy enough of a chance to push Faith off of her… hard. Faith lands on the floor so suddenly that the breath gets knocked out of her from being basically thrown. She coughs once, annoyance written all over her face.
Well, that was one option. Fuck. She sighs and lies back on the floor, letting her head bang against the wood slightly for good measure. It just felt appropriate.
“Kennedy. Hi. We. Uh. Hi,” Buffy starts, trying to get herself off of the floor. She brushes herself off. “Sparring,” she explains, but Kennedy has an eyebrow cocked at her. Buffy coughs, just trying to let the moment get as far away from them as possible and changes the subject, “What do you want me to do about what?”
Kennedy narrows her eyes at her, flicks them over to Faith who’s getting herself off the ground, then back to land on Buffy. But she doesn’t say anything for a moment, and thankfully not about what she just maybe witnessed. “Willow’s been channeling through the Scythe, trying to find some of the other Slayers who awoke in the general area. Do you want us to…?”
“How many did you find?” Buffy asks, back to business now. Faith wonders idly how she just does that. Switches everything off like that. Fuck knows she can’t.
“Only a few. We can get them here within the day.”
Buffy nods, her tongue pressed against her teeth as she thinks. “Alright, yeah. But. Hey. Make sure you bring Giles, he hates to miss out on doing ‘The Chosen One’ speech.” She smirks a little, and so does Kennedy. One big joke. Ha, ha.
Faith rolls her eyes. She hated jokes right now.
“Alright. You two… well, have fun,” she says in this way that makes it sound so completely dirty, and Buffy’s eyes go wide. She’s attempting to say something, sputtering, is more like it, until Kennedy’s out the door. Finally she stops attempting to speak and just sets her jaw.
Silence.
“We were sparring,” Buffy says evenly, after a moment, not even bothering to turn around to face Faith as she addresses her. Faith just raises an eyebrow as she leans against the wall, arms crossed over her chest. Defensive.
“Yeah. Got that much.”
“That was it.”
“Well what else would you call it?” Faith snaps back, angry that everything just fell apart when it was so close to perfect. Angry that Buffy wouldn’t even look at her. Angry that she didn’t just kiss her when she had the chance.
“We just. We…” Buffy stops, taking a breath. She still doesn’t turn around; she’s staring out the window. “We get that way. Us. We yell and we, I don’t know. Work stuff out. So. Let’s just leave it.”
“Yeah, cause that was really healthy,” Faith mutters under her breath.
“Look I’m just saying,” Buffy defends, finally turning around to look at her. “That’s happened a lot. Okay? Not in awhile, but it used to happen all the time. It’s just how we get when we spar. It just is what it is and there’s no reason to throw a parade over it.”
Faith scoffs. What the hell was Buffy doing? Trying to be the bigger person? She really didn’t like the tone of voice she was using, like she was trying to explain something to a child. Explain that the world just sucks and there’s nothing anyone can do about it, that sort of thing. And yeah, okay, maybe things used to get heated when they were younger, but they never almost kissed.
Does it just get worse with age?
“It’s just the connection we have,” Buffy finishes, like that explained everything. Whatever.
“Bit fucked up that our connection wants us to…” Make out. But Faith didn’t finish her sentence. She just shakes her head, annoyed, and gets herself up off the wall, crossing over to grab her hoodie. “Alright B, no parade. Gotcha.”
“Faith.”
But Faith doesn’t turn around as she leaves, not wanting to look at her right now. “It’s all good. Got places to be,” Faith avoids. Then she’s gone, away from all the craziness and the headaches and the confusion.
That’s just how they got? What kind of ridiculous bullshit was that? Yeah, Buffy just admitted there was something. Sure, yay, what-the-fuck-ever. But… damnit. Watching her just try to rationalize it by spewing the first load of crap that came to her mind fucking… hurt. Maybe because she isn’t sure if it’s true or not. What if that is just how they got? What it has nothing to do with anything, and Faith’s feelings for Buffy are completely separate from that entire fuckery?
One thing’s for sure though: next time Buffy asks her to spar, she’s gonna tell her to stick it up her ass. She didn’t need this crap. Everything hurt enough as it is.
MOVE FORWARD TO PART THREE....
Author: cuzimastripper
Beta: supershineygirl
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Rating: Eh, I give it R. Nothing too explicit... yet. lol
Pairing(s): Buffy/Faith
Word Length Thus Far: 17,601 words
Timeline: Post "Chosen", though has nothing to do with the season 8 comics.
Summary: There was a lot of emotions Faith thought she would see from Buffy, but jealousy was never one of them.
A/N: This is a remake of the story She's Mine that I wrote when I was 17. Seriously, read at your own risk, but for the love of god read this first. Ha. I cringed when I read it. Man... my writing then... but, anyway. I thought it would be fun to do, remake something from almost six years ago. It'll probably be a bit longer than that was. Alright, yeah, it will be. But that's cause nothing flowed well in that one. For. Real. I'll probably change some things up too. Hell, already am. Alot. Er...
Other Parts: PART ONE
CHAPTER FOUR
Talking wasn’t high on their list of priorities, mainly because both of them weren’t looking forward to it, but two days later that’s what they did. Talked. Sorta. It was late at night and Faith was about to turn in when she heard a familiar knock on her door. Knowing who it was before she even opened it, she unconsciously fixed her hair and readjusted her bra. Not that she was trying to look pretty for-alright, fine, she was. But it was just a habit. They die hard and… all of that. Whatever.
When she opened the door, something was tossed in her direction. Faith catches it out a reflex, then looks down. “Wanna go slaying?” Buffy asks, a little smile on her face. The grin spreads across Faith’s.
“Like I’d turn that down.” She plays with the stake between her fingers a bit before asking as she grabs her coat. “We teaching the noobs?”
“Nah, most of them still need to rest. Recuperate. Just thought. You know. Just us oldies. It’d give us a chance to…” Buffy trails off, shrugging.
“Do what we gotta do,” Faith finishes as she wraps her leather jacket around her. Buffy nods.
Talking while slaying though had to be one the better decisions both of them made. If things got too heated they could kicks some ass and dust some demons without taking it out on each other. There’s probably some therapy technique like that, but probably not as violent.
You probably don’t breathe in undead fungus after either.
Buffy sneezes after she dusts a vamp, making a face. “Ugh, that went right up my nose.”
Faith chuckles a bit as Buffy sneezes again. She leans against a headstone, arms crossed over her chest. “You know, that might be what causes the H&H, if you think about it. Like a drug. Up your nose. All… fuckin’ up your system. Maybe it’s like slayer cocaine.” She laughs a bit.
“I told you I don’t get H&H,” Buffy retorts, rubbing her nose for good measure. She blinks a bit, then turns to Faith.
“You’re full of shit,” Faith tells her, smirking. Buffy just ignores her comment, stalking off in the other direction. “I know you get the itch, girlfriend. We all do.”
“Come on, there’s gotta be more down this way,” Buffy says, still ignoring her.
Faith gets off the headstone, the smirk still lingering on her face. They walk together for a bit in silence, the eerily unsettling vibe of the graveyard washing over them. Yeah, there was definitely more around here. But it’s faint, so they know they aren’t going to come across one any time soon. “So,” Buffy starts, the awkwardness back in her voice. “We should…”
“Yeah,” Faith agrees, just wanting to get it over with. She plays with the stake in her hands as they walk across the grass. “So how we gonna have this play out? I say sorry, you punch me a couple times, and that’s that then?”
“Because that’s healthy,” Buffy deadpans, but she smirks a bit before shrugging. She sighs. “I don’t know. Guess I already punched you out more than enough times, so we can skip that part.”
“Good, cause last time I swear you almost dislocated my jaw.”
“You had it coming.”
“Always do,” Faith responds, but it’s a sigh. Defeat. Maybe sadness. Fuck it. “Look, I am… y’know. Sorry about, fuck, everything. Taking out my teenage angst on you like it was your fault.” She doesn’t look at her when she says it, but that’s okay because Buffy isn’t looking at her either. They just walk side by side through the maze of headstones and trees.
“Part of it was my fault,” Buffy says quietly, and it makes Faith’s face color in confusion and annoyance.
“Don’t do that, B. Fuckin’ hate when you do that.”
“What?”
“Do the whole self-pity bullshit. Ain’t none of that on you, and frankly you don’t make it any better when you pretend it is. You can’t carry around everything on your shoulders. And my shit ain’t yours to deal with,” Faith tells her. It makes Buffy stop, turning to look at her. Faith stops too, arms crossed over her chest. She can feel the annoyance radiating off of Buffy. Or maybe it was her own, just reversed cause of the whole connection. It’s too complicated to think about extensively, that’s for sure.
“I’m not doing anything like that,” Buffy retorts. Her own arms fold across her chest, defensive as well. “You’re only half of the story, Faith. Now do you wanna stop acting like a brat, shut up, and hear mine? Or do you just wanna throw down since apparently that’s all we’re good at doing?”
“Name calling is real mature, Buffy.”
“Well if you listened for one damn second then maybe I wouldn’t have to,” Buffy snaps. Faith falls silent though, cocking an eyebrow in her direction as she waits expectantly. “It was just that…” Buffy starts, then sighs. She turns and starts walking again, and Faith follows. “When you came to town you were like… a sister. Almost. We had this connection and it was so amazing and, well, you know. But I got - and I swear if you repeat this to anyone I will personally remove your larynx - I got… jealous. I guess. You were… untamed, I guess would be the word. Everyone loved you and everyone wanted to be you. It pissed me off and I just kind of… shut you out. I made everyone shut you out.”
“Think I made everyone shut me out when I switched teams,” Faith said softly, but it was only so she could blame herself. Part of her knows what Buffy’s saying is true, and that it makes sense. Not that she was gonna blame Buffy for what happened, but maybe if… maybe if it didn’t happen like that she wouldn’t have felt that she needed to go to someone else for some kind of love and acceptance, even if he was evil.
“Before that,” Buffy says, just as softly. The grass crunches beneath their feet as they walk, then finally she says, “So. I’m sorry. About doing that to you.”
“It ain’t nothin’ now,” Faith responds, then pulls her arms around herself as she knows it’s her turn. Vulnerable. Fuck. She ain’t the kind of person that just-this ain’t her thing. Sharing. Feelings. Verbal ones, anyway. “But, y’know, I was jealous of you too.”
“I know.”
Faith looks over at Buffy, pursing her lips together a little. “Family. Friends. The whole nine yards. Think that’s why it was always about you. Maybe. Just… trying to destroy the one thing you had that I didn’t. Make you feel what it was like. I was just… fuck. An uncontrollable fuckin’ time bomb. Didn’t know which way I supposed to go, but it seemed I always ended up back at you. It was always about you.”
“Because of the jealousy?”
“Something like that,” Faith says, knowing full well it isn’t just about that. It was always about Buffy because Buffy was her other half, whether she liked it or not. Whether they ever became a whole or were doomed to wander the earth without ever knowing that connection.
“But there’s more.” It’s a soft statement; she already knows. Faith stops, letting out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. She leans against another headstone, the marble cold underneath her palms as she presses against it.
“Ain’t there always, B? With us. It’s always more than what… fuck, what it’s supposed to be.”
Buffy shrugs a little, looking down as she moves to lean on the headstone next to her. There’s silence for a moment. Just the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, making the branches creak and the leaves shudder. “It’s different with us,” she agrees, finally.
“Hundreds, hell, maybe thousands of slayers awakening across the world. So why is it that I can still only feel you like this?” Faith asks her. She doesn’t look at her though.
“I don’t know,” Buffy says. “Probably has to do with destiny, or some prophecy, or another end of the world scenario.”
“Figures,” Faith scoffs lightly. “Leave it to my feelings to end the freaking world.” Another scoff, and the last word is softer, barely even audible. “Again.”
“And what feelings are those?” Buffy asks lightly, and Faith can tell she’s looking at her now. She can feel her eyes on her, but she doesn’t look back.
“Y’know,” Faith says softly, meaning more than what she’s saying. But she switches it quickly, tries to cover it up to, “Just. The Slayer connection. Whatever.”
“You were wrong, you know,” Buffy says suddenly, and it makes Faith look over at her. Buffy’s eyes meet hers. “About the thing you said before, back in Sunnydale. Us not getting along because we weren’t supposed to exist with each other. If that were true, we’d have a whole mess of girls fighting all the time now. Besides, Kendra, before you… yeah, we didn’t get along, but there was no… connection. No feeling. No dreams.”
“Great then,” Faith says with a light sarcasm. “Glad to know we’re the only fucked up ones then.”
Buffy laughs lightly. “Maybe we are a bit fucked up,” she agrees. She nudges Faith a little with her elbow, softly, just getting her attention. “But maybe we should just… stop. The past happened; it was screwed up, yeah, but we can’t keep-you know, making everything more of a hell when there’s already enough hell all around us. There’s just no more time to fight and be childish about it. We got a whole slew of new slayers that need guidance from us and maybe we should, I don’t know. Kind of set some sort of example.”
“Be adults, you mean?” Faith says, but it’s lightly teasing. Buffy smiles a bit, then nods.
“Yeah. We have to grow up sometime.”
But Faith isn’t listening anymore. She puts a hand on Buffy’s arm, stilling her as a smile creeps across her face. “You feel that?” she asks, excitement in her voice.
Buffy stops, a smile forming over her own face. Her eyes twinkle. “Come on,” she says, before taking off through the maze of graves, Faith hot on her heels.
This time it was almost like the past again; the perfectly timed banter and fluidity of their movements. Their last slay was two individuals working together. This? Maybe there was something different now. It was more like one slayer in two bodies. Defense and offense; they switched so rapidly but so easily, each giving the other a turn without even having to speak to synchronize their movements. When the stakes came down to deliver that final blow, it was as if there was something that pulled them to do it together, the dust scattering into the wind before their eyes, leaving them facing each other.
“Don’t breathe in,” Faith jokes.
“Why not? If you’re little theory proves right, then I’m already high,” Buffy says, smirking. She tucks the stake into her back pocket, dusting off her hands.
“You feelin’ it then?” Faith asks, curiosity and wonder peaked in her voice as she takes in Buffy’s form. Poised; on edge. Her muscles ripped and ready. A shiver, though Buffy will probably say it’s cause of the wind. Oh yeah, she’s feeling it.
“I’m not adding to your little perverted fantasies,” Buffy tells her, but she’s smirking. She hits Faith lightly in the stomach as she starts walking. “Come on.”
“Hey, who said you were in my fantasies?” Faith retorts as she follows behind her. “Conceited a bit, aren’t we?”
Buffy snorts, “Let’s not kid ourselves, F.” It’s said lightly, teasing, but it makes Faith wonder how much she really knows about how she feels about it. About her. About everything. But if she does know, it also makes Faith wonder why the hell she isn’t running screaming or kicking her ass into next Sunday. But that little window of opportunity makes her try to stick her head through. Or maybe up her ass, depending on how this goes.
“So you wanna hit a bar with me? Feed the hungries a bit?” Faith asks. It’s light, but all she can think about in her head is how much it just sounds like she just asked her out on a fuckin’ date. “We can find someone else to take care of that other H there too,” she adds as an afterthought, just trying to make it not sound like she was asking her out.
“I don’t pick up like you do,” Buffy tells her as they walk out of the graveyard and down the street. “And frankly? Rather not see you do it either. Would like to keep my food down.”
“Ha, ha,” Faith says dryly. But then she shrugs. “Fine, just us then. No beefsticks or rug munchers. Whatever. One H down is better than none.”
Buffy shifts her eyes a bit to look over at her. “You do play both sides then?” she asks, curious. But she shakes her head a little, as if deciding she doesn’t want to get into that whole thing, and says instead, “Nevermind. Yeah, food sounds good.”
It wasn’t until an hour later, when they sat at the bar with enough food in front of them that could probably feed a small army, that that conversation is revisited. Faith didn’t know why it really mattered much to Buffy, or maybe she was just trying to… hell, bond, or some weird crap like that. “So,” Buffy starts, waving a french fry about absentmindedly. “This girl thing. When’d that start?”
When I met you. But Faith doesn’t say that, thank god, she just shrugs instead. “Y’know. Prison. Girl-lovin’ only up in there. Unless you wanna boink the guards and - ew. Ain’t desperate enough for all that. Though one bastard did try to rape me,” Faith laughs a bit at that while Buffy looks horrified. “Hey,” she says noticing her look. “Come on, like it would have ever gone down like that. Mother fucker got his face busted and his shoulder dislocated. Spent awhile in solitary for that, but it was worth it.”
“Jesus,” Buffy says, taking that in. Her eyes widen and she pops the fry into her mouth. But she lets it go, changing the conversation back. Well, sort of back. Now they were on the whole relationship conversation that they sort of had back in the dressing room. “So have you ever actually had a connection with someone that was… meaningful?”
“As in, lasting for more than a night?” Faith asks, picking up her jack and coke and taking a sip as she peered over at her.
“Yeah.”
“No. Well, I don’t know. In prison there was this girl. We fucked on a pretty regular basis, but maybe that’s cause you can’t exactly get some and get gone in that joint. Wouldn’t call it a relationship though.”
“So what would you call it? Did you like her?” Buffy pries, though she does it in a way that makes her seem like she’s being casual about it. She’s not looking at her, just saying words in between poppin’ french fries in her mouth. Faith knits her eyebrows together.
“Seriously. What’s with the sudden curiosity?”
Buffy lets out a dramatic sigh, rolling her eyes for effect. “I’m just trying to, I don’t know, have some sort of normal conversation with you. One that doesn’t involve screaming or angst. Is that a crime now?”
“No. It’s just weird,” Faith says honestly, picking at the food on her plate. She was starting to get full.
“Fine. Then we’ll talk about something else,” Buffy decides, but Faith doesn’t want to. That other H was sticking its’ head in where it doesn’t belong, especially with Buffy around.
“Nah, you know what? We should probably head back,” Faith says, making a point to look out towards the door instead of at Buffy.
“Oh,” Buffy says, surprised. Maybe disappointed? But Faith couldn’t put her finger on it. “Yeah, that’s fine. Tomorrow I guess we should start figuring out where we’re all going to go too. We can’t stay here forever.”
“Don’t think I’d want to,” Faith responds as she slaps some money on the counter to pay for the bill. “That place gives me the creeps.”
“The heeby-jeebies,” Buffy agrees. She starts to pull some money out to pay for her part, but Faith waves it off.
“I got it, B.”
“And where did you get money?”
“Same place you did: Angel. Come on, let’s get out of here. That guy over there looks like he’s five seconds from comin’ over and trying to get you in the sack,” Faith tells her, standing up. Buffy looks over to where she was motioning too.
“Oh, ew,” she says, giggling. It makes Faith crack a smirk, but then the guy starts moving towards them. Faith rolls her eyes.
“I got this,” she says, and puts an arm around Buffy’s waist. Buffy looks surprised for a minute, but Faith is looking over at the guy, cocking an eyebrow and giving him a ‘don’t you dare’ look. He stops in his tracks, almost gawking at the two of them.
Buffy laughs, “Oh, my hero.”
“You know me,” Faith jokes, leading her out the door. Maybe her arm lingered around her a little longer than it should, but Buffy didn’t push her off. It was all just a joke anyway. Shits and giggles. Fucking around with some guy just cause they could.
But when her arm does fall back to her side, she realizes how much she missed it. How much she could still almost feel it. The tingles; the heat that comes with it. The everything.
Even if it did mean nothing at all.
A/N: So yeah, wrote up through chapter 10 last night (go me!) so I figured I should start posting them more often now. Ha. Also, the story rating is now changed to R. At some point it will end up NC-17 but not yet. Uh, hm. Yeah, about about my OC? She's not an OC. I suck at making originals, so this is kind of a crossover. So if you guess the fandom, go you! Haha.
CHAPTER FIVE
Taking care of that other H shouldn’t have been this fuckin’ difficult.
She was in her room. Buffy had gone to hers, the lights were out, her clothes were off, and she was trying to take care of business. The heat was dominating her abdomen, the flashes of the slay and the bar were filling her mind and fuck, she just needed to get off. Her fingers slipped over herself almost tauntingly slow, making her gasp into the darkness of the room and arc her hips into her hand.
She started imagining all the little scenarios that could have happened that night, if only something like them could ever happen. The slay done, the heat and the passion being fueled between the two of them so much that they could feel it crawling all over them. Eyes locked and bodies intertwined and somehow it suddenly jumped to Buffy being bent over stark fuckin’ nude over a gravestone with Faith’s fingers buried in her tight little pussy.
It wasn’t like this was anything new. No, she’s fucked herself plenty of times thinking about Buffy. Even when she hated her, she wanted to fuck her just to destroy her, own her in a way. It’s always been about Buffy whether it was about love or hate. Her whole fucking universe revolved around that woman, and frankly?
…It was a bit pathetic.
Faith lets out a frustrated sigh and stops herself halfway through; her breathing labored and her chest heaving from anger. She turns her face to look at the wall; the wall that separates her and Buffy’s room and she locks her jaw. This was so fucking pathetic.
Was this all she was going to be? All she was gonna do? Just waste her life away pining over some woman who can barely even stand to be in the same room with her?
Alright, well, apparently she can stand it now. They had their little truce and fuckin’… whatever. But that still doesn’t change the fact that Buffy would have to be clinically psychotic to ever want Faith the way she so desperately wants her too. Needs her too. She’s all she wants and all that she’s never going to get and instead of trying to move on she just continues to sink herself just a little deeper. She always pushes her fuckin’ fingers in just a bit deeper and pants out her name before she releases, letting the sadness wash over her as much as the damn orgasm does.
Faith was never one to be emotional; at least not in front of people. She puts on a hard face and makes any kind of weakness turn to anger instead because she refuses to ever let anyone know how fuckin’ broken she really is. But that doesn’t mean that when she’s alone that she doesn’t cry. Cause she does. All the damn time.
She hates it, hates all of it. And as she feels the tears start to well up in her eyes she sits up quickly, maybe trying to jolt herself out of it. Snap some damn sense into herself. She takes a breath, trying to just not think, before she rises from the bed and grabs her clothes. Fuck all of this.
It just has to stop.
Her clothes are on in a rush and she’s out the door in all the same. She just needs to get away. Hell, find someone to take her away. Not in that stupid knight in shining armor crap way, but just take her out of her head. Hell, take Buffy out of her head. Fuck her to make her forget. It always works, just the problem is that once their gone and out the door it all comes back again. Every single miserable part of it.
Faith hates feeling sorry for herself, it makes her seem like a spoiled brat who’s crying cause they can’t get the shiny toy they want. But Buffy was more than just a toy. She was more than just some prize to be owned. She was… fuck. Everything. All of it. With a nice little fuckin’ bow on top.
Picking up was easy. It always is. She knows she was born lucky; to look the way she does. If sex came in human form she’d be pretty damn close to how it looks. The hair, the lips, the breasts, the dangerous air and cocky attitude and fuck, yeah, it’s just easy. Almost too damn easy.
She wasn’t picky tonight, she doesn’t think she could handle being that way cause the longer it takes for her to find someone the longer she keeps thinking about Buffy and how she wishes she was trying to pick up her. The first person who showed an interest was the one who ended up in her bed; Faith on top in some sweaty, raw, sexual haze. She lets her body take over and says adios to the thinking cause thinking never leads to anywhere good.
But it’s almost like animals. When you let your body take over it all becomes instinctual it turns into something that dances with the line between human and primal. Rough, hard, bordering on almost abusive with the biting and the scratching and just, hell, owning. Owning another human being just because you can, if only for a moment. It’s loud and it’s passionate and it’s so fucking sexy that yeah, for a second she forgets about Buffy. And that was the point, wasn’t it?
Hours. Hours and fuckin’ hours of nothing but sex. It was strange that she found someone with enough stamina to rival her own, but she ate it up because it tasted so fuckin’ good. But eventually the stamina wore out with both of them, and as she collapsed on the bed, eyes closed and breathing labored, her guest sat up a little, a little smirk lingering.
“That was fun,” the girl states, in this almost airy way as she made light of something that was fuckin’… Faith wouldn’t say incredible, that might be giving it too much credit, but it was pretty damn close to amazing, regardless.
Faith doesn’t say anything; she just rolls over and stares at the ceiling, wiping the hair out of her face. Her face is flushed and she can still feel the mist of sweat on her body. She takes a deep breath. Man. She needed that.
The girl peers down at her, almost inquisitively. She’s a bit out of breath herself, but it’s not as pronounced. Almost as if she’s learned to quiet herself on command. “Did you get what you needed?” she asks her, like she knows more than what she’s letting on. Faith turns her head to look at her.
“Yeah. Thanks for the orgasms,” she says, though maybe it’s hinted with a bit of sarcasm because somehow, what she just said, turned on her defense mechanism. This was… weird. There was something off about this girl.
“You’re welcome,” she replies with a little smile; that light, airy tone back again. Maybe she was a bit crazy. Go figure for Faith to pick the most fucked up broad in the whole damn bar. What was her name again? She doesn’t remember her even saying…
“I don’t think I got your name,” Faith says, sitting up as she finds her clothes. She picks up the girls shirt first though and throws it at her. She catches it easily.
“That’s because I never told you,” she replies, like it should have been obvious, as she slides the shirt over her head. Her blonde hair spills down around her shoulders and she looks at her.
Though, on a completely unrelated note: go figure she’d be fucking a blonde too. What is it, some kind of weakness she has? Fuckin’ stupid.
But it was weird, the girl not saying her name, even when she asked. She half expected her to get pissed off at her, like most women. Faith could never remember names; they just weren’t her strong suit. “You gonna tell me?” Faith asks, the defense kicking in again. Something wasn’t right.
“No,” she replies as she pulls on her jeans. “But I don’t think I want to know yours either.”
“What is this? Some kind of kinky fetish you have? Fuckin’ strangers and never wanting to know who they are?” She could be down with that, honestly. But it still didn’t seem like that was it either.
“No. I just don’t trust you,” the girl tells her simply. Then she cocks her head to the side in thought a bit. “And I don’t think I care what your name is.”
“And you’re making me trust you even less than I already do, which usually means that you’re about to fuck me over and we’re gonna have to throw down,” Faith says as she grabs her clothes and starts putting them back on, keeping one eye on her the whole time.
“You don’t have anything I want,” the girl says flatly, like that made some kind of fucking sense. But then Faith thinks about it a bit. What was she, some kind of thief? It was the only thing that even made it into the realm of slightly logical with all this… fuck. Craziness. No name, no trust, no whatever. But hey, she does have nice things. Fucking hella nice things after being able to go spree with Angel’s plastic. She might be offended that this girl, if she is a thief, doesn’t even find anything of hers worth stealing.
Bitch.
But then the girl doesn’t go for the door, she goes for the window. Faith stares at her like she’s got five fuckin’ heads and one of them is starting to yodel. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Leaving.”
“Out the window? Are you fucking insane?”
The girl looks at her, blinking a few times with this blank eerie sort of stare. “It’s only three stories up,” she says, completely ignoring the insane comment and saying it in a way that made Faith feel… weird. This girl really was a bit off.
“There’s no fire escape.”
“And that’s what makes it fun,” she says with a little smile… and then she’s just fucking gone. Faith blinks and stands up, making her way over to the window just in time to see her scaling down the drainpipe and her feet hitting the ground before she takes off into the darkness.
Man, she needs to start fucking normal people.
The next morning she woke up to the sight of Buffy… standing over her. Faith jerks up straight in bed out of automatic reaction, clutching the covers to her chest. “Fuck, shit, god damnit B, what the hell are you doing??” Faith mumbles in her sleepy and startled haze. She rubs the sleep out of her eyes so she can see clearly. Damn, way to freak a bitch out. Just kinda creepy when you wake up and someone’s standing over you. It’s like in the horror movies before some hot bitch gets her heart cut out of her chest and shown to her.
That better not be on Buffy’s agenda this morning.
“Nice mouth,” Buffy deadpans, a hint of annoyance seeping into her voice. She walks away from the bed and over to the window to yank open the curtains. Light floods into the room and Faith makes some kind of whiny, aggravated noise before throwing the covers back over her head.
What the fuck. She’s still freaking tired.
“Get up, it’s almost noon and we have to train some of the newbies,” Buffy tells her flatly. Faith doesn’t have to be looking at her to know that she has her hands on her hips. Faith has no idea what’s up with the attitude this morning, but she’s really not digging it. Didn’t they call truce? Does she have to wave a white flag now? God damn.
“I’m tired,” Faith complains, just cause it’s early and she’s grumpy. She makes a face and wipes the fallen strands of brunette hair off her face. Damnit, she wants to go back to bed. She lies back down, flopping back and staring up the ceiling.
“Yeah, well, me too,” Buffy says, irritated. “You kept me up last night. Really considerate, by the way.”
Faith blinks as this heavy weight makes its way down her throat and lays camp in her abdomen. She turns her head to look at Buffy, who had her arms crossed over her chest as she looks down at her disapprovingly. “You heard me?” Faith asks, though clearly that much was obvious.
“What I heard was more like animals during mating season,” Buffy says flatly, her annoyance with the situation written all over her face. Faith sits up though, still making sure to keep the covers over her as she does so since she hasn’t bothered to put clothes back on last night. “This is not a whore house, Faith,” Buffy continues in her little high-and-mighty disapproving voice that just works at Faith’s last nerve. Her own grumpiness wasn’t helping the situation much either and it makes her snap back,
“Whatever, you can stand there and act like you’re better than me because you like to pretend you don’t feel it like I do, but I’m willing to bet you got yourself off to the sounds of my little mating session last night, Twinkie.”
She should have expected what was coming next, and part of her damn well knows she deserved it since that was kind of over the line, but when Buffy’s fist connected with her jaw it still knocked her back, disoriented her for a moment, until her instincts took over and the next thing she knew she had Buffy pinned against the far wall, forearm over her throat and her breathing ragged from rage.
Shit.
But Buffy doesn’t make a move, she just stands there, letting Faith hold her since she still couldn’t bring herself to press down and apply pressure enough to threaten her. Their eyes connect and Buffy taunts her, “Press down. I dare you.” It almost makes Faith think that she just let her make that move just to see what would come after it.
“Fuck you.”
It’s said softly, almost a hissing sound through her teeth as they continue to stare at each other, neither moving but both calculating reactive moves if the other one dares to begin their dance. Faith notices Buffy’s breathing change, just slightly. Not as defensive anymore but more… anticipation.
It wasn’t like Faith studied people, or ever cared to. But if there was one thing she did take in from her slayer training it was how to spot signs of weakness and changes in strategy. Not that Faith knew how to make any of them turn in her favor when she’s up against Buffy though. Everything with her is always just… running on emotions. Pure feeling.
“You used to not hesitate,” Buffy says, but its softer. There’s still a hint of a challenge behind her words but it was mostly masked by her own curiosity.
“You used to not wait for me to make a move,” Faith counters in a voice equally as soft. Buffy just stares hard into her eyes for a moment, until Faith notices them become a bit softer as she lets them drop slowly, looking over her darker counterpart.
“You need to get dressed,” Buffy states flatly, but it’s also hinted in this odd tone that Faith can’t place. But that snaps her out of it and she steps away from Buffy, backing up a few steps. She still doesn’t move for her clothes though; she just looks at her.
“Truce over?” Faith asks, trying to not make the disappointment and sadness seep out through her words. She tries to make it comes out strong, but she doesn’t think she succeeded very well.
Buffy blinks, tearing her eyes away from Faith’s nude body to look up at her face. “No,” she says simply. She grabs Faith’s tank top off of the bedside table and throws it at her, and the brunette catches it easily. “But I still don’t think I know how to start my day unless I get to clock you in the jaw.”
That makes Faith crack a smirk as she slides her shirt over her head. “You still got a mean right hook.” That makes Buffy smirk as well before she turns towards the door. But then she stops as her hand touches the doorknob, and Faith can see her take a breath. She turns back around and Faith watches her out of her peripheral vision, surprised to notice that Buffy was very much looking at her as she pulls on her panties.
“Keep looking at me like that and we’re never gonna leave this room,” Faith says, that little hint of cocky arrogance in her voice that usually makes her want to slap herself silly after she uses it. Man, she needs to really start using that brain to mouth filter, she’s gonna get herself into trouble.
“What? I’m not-! Faith!” Buffy exclaims, all flustered and irritated as she narrows her eyes and stomps her foot a little to make her point. “That wasn’t what I was-! Just get dressed!” she snaps and then in a flash she’s out the door, it slamming behind her.
Whoops.
Yeah, she really needs to start controlling that better. But Buffy was looking, she didn’t imagine that. And maybe it was just cause she’s one big giant prude and nudity either offends or intrigues her, but still. She was looking. At Faith. All… naked. At all her naked little parts.
And even though she just pissed Buffy off by stating that fact out loud, she can’t help the smile that’s on her face. On some level, hell, it doesn’t matter which one, but on some level Buffy couldn’t take her eyes off of her.
And she’ll take that… no matter what the reasons were.
CHAPTER SIX
Faith should have known better.
Last night they didn’t go slaying with the noobs so they could all rest and recuperate, and yet today they were training them? If Faith took two seconds to think about that, she might not have been surprised when she walked into the training room to find it empty except for Buffy. But she didn’t think, and so she was surprised. Or more like confused. She was still only half awake, after all. The fact that she can even form a fragment of a thought right now should really be considered some sort of accomplishment.
“Whoa. Am I early to class for once?” Faith asks, surprised, as she walks into the large rectangular room. Her sneakers squeaking slightly on the polished wood, reminding her of her high school gym in a way. Minus the fat, underachieving asshole of a teacher that she had. Faith figures she might be the underachieving asshole now, never doin’ the normal thing cause of destiny and some other crap. But hey, at least she isn’t fat. She’ll take the points on that one.
Buffy looks up at her as she sweeps her blonde hair back into a ponytail. She leaves a few stray stands to frame her face, and Faith tries like hell not the stare because she’s pretty sure that finding Buffy mesmerizing when she’s only fixing her hair is probably a bit ridiculous. “I tried to rally together the troops, but there were only a handful able bodied enough to train. Guess we’re going to have to wait a couple more days.”
Faith took a step back towards the door hopefully, “So crashin’ out is back on the agenda?”
“No, get in here,” Buffy orders in that special little way of hers that makes Faith feel like she has no other option. Damnit, she shouldn’t have asked; making a run for it probably would have yielded better results. But when given the option to run when it has anything to do with Buffy, she tends to find herself running towards her instead of away from her. Faith’s beginning to think she has some sort of masochistic complex going on.
Faith sighs a bit and unzips her hoodie as she watches Buffy stretch. “So what? Are we training the few that can?” Really though, Faith doesn’t know why she asks questions she already knows the answer to. Maybe she’s just trying to prolong it, put it off, something. She really didn’t feel like getting all sweaty; fuckin’ down and dirty with Buffy this morning.
Well, in the way that-
“No,” Buffy says as she stretches her arm across her chest, interrupting Faith’s thoughts for a moment. Her eyes scan down Buffy’s body, taking in every curve of every muscle. She’s a bit like a panther, if Faith needed to pick an animal to describe her. Strong; agile. Beautiful. Buffy doesn’t seem to notice her moment of appreciation though as she stretches her arm back behind her head. “Thought now would be a good time for us to map out a curriculum.”
“A what now?” Faith asks after she’s taken off her hoodie, eyebrow cocked as she takes her own rubber band off her wrist to tie her hair back off of her neck. “What is this? Slayers: A History?”
“No, Giles and Andrew are working on that,” Buffy says seriously, which just makes Faith cock her eyebrow even further because she was fucking joking. “But we should go over what we’re going to teach them, and when.”
“We teach them how to kick undead ass,” Faith says, like that in its self should have been plain as fuckin’ day. “The end.”
“Faith.”
“B, this is stupid. You do what you do and I’ll just go along with it, like always,” Faith says, crossing her arms across her chest. She really didn’t want to sit down and talk strategy. She was more of a doer than a planner. And yeah, maybe if she did think in terms of plans and strategies she’d come out on top more often. But does she look like she’s got the patience for that? Hell No. It just is what it is.
“It’s not stupid,” Buffy said with a bit of a huff, rolling her neck back a little. Faith can hear a small crack before she shakes it out and steps back in a defensive stance. “We’ll teach them blocking first. Be the offence; come at me.”
“This is pointless; we already know how we spar together. We’ve tried to fuckin’ kill each other; don’t think we need the practice. Besides, the kids helped save the world. I think they can block fine.”
“Fine isn’t good enough, Faith,” Buffy says seriously, and like she should have known that. “Come. At. Me.”
But Faith doesn’t want to just come at her. Not cause she doesn’t like sparring with Buffy, but just cause of what it does to her. Being up close and personal with a sweaty out of breath Buffy does things to places she’d rather not admit, least of all to her. There’s heat and there’s passion and it gets to the point where it’s either fight or fuck, and you can guess the one Faith tries to choose. So she just tries to play it off, act like it’s stupid, fuckin’ whatever she has to do to not get sucked into this hell hole of adrenaline and hormones.
“Nah, girlfriend. You have fun with... whatever. I’m just gonna-” Faith tries, stepping back with an amused look on her face and her hands up in surrender, just trying not to get herself in trouble by backing out. But Buffy was obviously having none of that, because before she can even finish her sentence, Buffy launched herself at her.
Well, apparently Faith is on the defense now. Typical.
“Fuck. Damnit!” Faith swears after she manages just barely to block Buffy’s first punch. “B, seriously-”
“Come on, block me,” Buffy taunts, and this time her punch did make it through Faiths’ defenses, making her stumble back a couple steps. Faith rubs her jaw in annoyance and Buffy’s smirking, looking like she enjoyed that a bit too much for just sparring. Great, cause this is really what she needed today.
“You don’t give a shit about training. All you want to do is hit me this morning,” Faith accuses, but this time she backs up just far enough to give herself room to deflect. She knows Buffy isn’t going to stop until one of them is on the ground, and it ain’t gonna be her. She’s been on bottom for this bitch more times than she can count.
Buffy snorts a bit, “What gave you that idea?” But then she swings again. Faith’s ready for it this time and blocks it cleanly, turning around in enough time to manage to get behind the blonde and slam her elbow between her shoulder blades. Buffy winces. “I said defensive!” she yells and she whips around to face her, rolling her back from the pain.
“You mean let you keep hitting me and I can do nothing about it?” Faith says, her eyes fired up and her muscles ready for a fight now. Her fists are up, her left foot back and planted to keep her ground. “I don’t think so.”
But there’s a twinkle in Buffy’s eye from that, almost like a challenge. “Aw, does Faithy think she can play with the big girls now?” she taunts, a little smirk on her face. They start circling each other slowly, never once letting their eyes leave each other. Dancing; like they always had. Taunting; because it’s the only thing they know how to do.
“Please. You play with fire, you’re about to get burned, sweetheart.”
“Is that so?”
“Come at me and find out.”
Buffy smirks, this sly little grin spreading across her face. She cocks her head and licks her bottom lip slightly before asking, her voice much lower than should ever be allowed, “And what if I said I wanted to get burned by you?” Her voice is dripping of sex and something much sweeter, using a tactic Faith didn’t see coming from a mile off.
It makes Faith blink in shock from that unexpected sentence, and that hesitation was all Buffy needed. Once she managed to get Faith’s hands where she needed them, one leg sweep was all it took to get the younger slayer flat on her back with Buffy pinning her down with a smirk of victory etched on her features. “And the winner is…” Buffy taunts, still keeping her grip locked on the girl’s wrists. Her touch was like fire to the younger woman.
“You cheated.”
“You should have never told me you had a weakness for women,” Buffy says with a smirk as she gets up and holds out her hand to Faith. She laughs a bit, “Come on, let’s go again.”
Faith makes a sound of annoyance at being beaten but begrudgingly takes Buffy’s hand and lets her help her up. “Never said it was a weakness,” Faith retorts, her ego bruised more than her body. She stretches her arm across her chest to work out the kink she feels as she takes a step back. That really wasn’t fair game right there.
“Maybe not, but I just proved it,” Buffy says, and it annoys Faith that she apparently finds it amusing. She cocks her head to the side, and proceeds to fuck with her mental state all over again, “Or is it that you just have a weakness for me?”
Faith’s brain stops, and as she tries to figure out something to say to that that doesn’t sound like a defensive retort or a straight out lie, she lets her defenses down again. Her hesitation costs her, again, and within minutes she’s flat against her back on the floor for the second time. “Stop doing that!” Faith yells, aggravated. Buffy just chuckles as she looks down at her.
“It’s not my fault you’re brain goes X rated in a matter of three seconds. You’re just like a guy.”
“Fuck off, will you? And get off of me while you’re at it,” Faith snaps in irritation, but Buffy doesn’t move. She continues to pin her down, just screwing with her because apparently it’s become her fun new game.
“What’s the matter? Too close for comfort?” Buffy taunts. Faith swears she must have some evil in her because all of a sudden she’s pressed, yeah, way too fuckin’ close for comfort. The fact that Buffy thinks this is just amusing, innocent fun annoys her even more, and she’s close to snapping. This isn’t fuckin’ funny anymore. “Thought you liked having boobs in your face.”
“What did I say about getting burned?” Faith asks her, her own anger from the situation turning very much into adrenaline and hormones, just as she feared in the first place. But it’s too late now, and Buffy’s just asking for it. Faith’s cocky arrogance arises and she smirks, lifting her head up enough to brush by Buffy’s ear, “You couldn’t handle playing with me, B. You’d be screaming before you even realized you’d touched the surface…” If Buffy wasn’t going to play fair, then neither was she. Her voice was low and slick like molasses and she could practically feel the heat radiating off of Buffy and the lust dripping from her own words.
She also noticed when her little sentence temporarily stunned the older slayer, which was all Faith needed. Buffy was the one on her back so quickly it was almost like a blur, and the Buffy struggles underneath her as she screams, “Damnit! Faith!” It’s Faith’s turn to chuckle now. Who’s the bitch now?
“Told you.”
“Get off of me!”
“So what? You can torture me again? No thanks, think I’d rather be the one on top right now.” Faith’s hands were pinning Buffy’s upper arms against the hard wood floor, her torso applying just enough weight to keep her there as long as she doesn’t get distracted again. She can see Buffy getting all worked up at her anger from being bested, and her eyes flash.
“Messing with you constitutes as torture now?” Buffy asks, giving up on struggling since she knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere unless she threw Faith off again. But Faith was prepared for it this time. Sort of. “Or do you really just want to fuck everything?”
“Eat me.”
“You’d probably like that too much.”
“Y’know, I probably would,” Faith says, almost a snarl. She’s fed up with this stupid game. Buffy isn’t gonna make her break. She cracks a smirk and taunts back, “But seeing as you’re the one who keeps bringing it up, I’m beginning to wonder a bit about you.” Buffy’s eyes go wide, and apparently Faith hit a sore spot.
A very sore spot.
“Fuck you, I bet you screw yourself at night thinking about me!” Buffy yells suddenly, and gets up enough adrenaline from her fury to knock Faith off of her, but only for a moment. Her hands connect with Faith’s chest but Faith grabs her wrists, pinning her down heavily, her face inches from hers. “Slut,” Buffy spits out at her. “You’ve always been obsessed with me.”
“Oh go fuck yourself, you cocky bitch. Unlike you I get some when I need it, I wouldn’t waste my time thinking about you.”
Liar.
They’re both breathing heavily, the passion from the anger humming across their skin like torture, and as they glare at each other they start to feel something that neither of them were expecting to feel in that moment. There’s silence. Long silence that seems to stretch on forever and taunt both of them. Faith can feel her grip slacking, but Buffy doesn’t move. She just lies there, seemingly letting Faith own her for a second. What was going on? This is the part you feared, Faith. The part when the line blurs and everything doesn’t make sense. When things just run on feeling and fuck knows that never leads to anywhere good.
“Go to hell,” Buffy says softly, her voice catching a bit in her throat as Faith’s hands seem to have a mind of their own and slide down Buffy’s forearms softly, almost agonizingly slow. Buffy seems almost scared, yet almost breathless with anticipation. Terrified but letting this play out. Whatever this was.
It’s all a haze in Faith’s head. The screaming, the fighting, the position they were in how the air in the room seemed to be heavy with the stench of lust. If she was thinking straight she would have gotten up, left. Fuck. Run the hell away. This doesn’t make sense, any of it. They rip each other to bits and suddenly there’s… fuck. What was this? Some kind of a spark. Some kind of… fuck, hell? Yeah, she was definitely in some kind of hell, but god did it make her feel powerful.
“Only if you’re the one to take me there,” Faith retorts, her voice soft as she looks down at the woman beneath her. Her heart is going so fast she’s afraid it’s going to burst out of her chest. It gets worse when Buffy sits up then, only a little, but enough for Faith to feel her breath on her lips. Her senses are practically screaming, the slayer connection is going haywire and it was almost like the world around them fell away. Nothing mattered but them.
“Why is it always about me?” Buffy asks quietly, curiously, and Faith notices a slight shake in her voice. But if she’s scared she isn’t backing down. If anything, she’s getting closer. Faith looks down at Buffy’s lips for a second, wishing she had the nerve to just take what was so close to her. But Buffy wasn’t just some girl; she wasn’t just some normal fucking person. She was… everything.
Faith was terrified to screw that up, so she doesn’t answer her. She can barely even breathe right now with Buffy this close to her and all she can feel is the hum, everywhere, all over her skin. She knows they’re too close, knows that the second one of them moves an inch their lips will be touching, and it’s overwhelming. It’s one of those perfect, fucked up moments that you have no idea if you should run away from or dive in head first.
But the moment didn’t last long.
“Hey guys? What do you want me to do about the-HELLO.” Kennedy stops in surprise as she sees the state of the two girls on the floor. Faith tears her eyes off of Buffy to look over in surprise at their unexpected witness, which gives Buffy enough of a chance to push Faith off of her… hard. Faith lands on the floor so suddenly that the breath gets knocked out of her from being basically thrown. She coughs once, annoyance written all over her face.
Well, that was one option. Fuck. She sighs and lies back on the floor, letting her head bang against the wood slightly for good measure. It just felt appropriate.
“Kennedy. Hi. We. Uh. Hi,” Buffy starts, trying to get herself off of the floor. She brushes herself off. “Sparring,” she explains, but Kennedy has an eyebrow cocked at her. Buffy coughs, just trying to let the moment get as far away from them as possible and changes the subject, “What do you want me to do about what?”
Kennedy narrows her eyes at her, flicks them over to Faith who’s getting herself off the ground, then back to land on Buffy. But she doesn’t say anything for a moment, and thankfully not about what she just maybe witnessed. “Willow’s been channeling through the Scythe, trying to find some of the other Slayers who awoke in the general area. Do you want us to…?”
“How many did you find?” Buffy asks, back to business now. Faith wonders idly how she just does that. Switches everything off like that. Fuck knows she can’t.
“Only a few. We can get them here within the day.”
Buffy nods, her tongue pressed against her teeth as she thinks. “Alright, yeah. But. Hey. Make sure you bring Giles, he hates to miss out on doing ‘The Chosen One’ speech.” She smirks a little, and so does Kennedy. One big joke. Ha, ha.
Faith rolls her eyes. She hated jokes right now.
“Alright. You two… well, have fun,” she says in this way that makes it sound so completely dirty, and Buffy’s eyes go wide. She’s attempting to say something, sputtering, is more like it, until Kennedy’s out the door. Finally she stops attempting to speak and just sets her jaw.
Silence.
“We were sparring,” Buffy says evenly, after a moment, not even bothering to turn around to face Faith as she addresses her. Faith just raises an eyebrow as she leans against the wall, arms crossed over her chest. Defensive.
“Yeah. Got that much.”
“That was it.”
“Well what else would you call it?” Faith snaps back, angry that everything just fell apart when it was so close to perfect. Angry that Buffy wouldn’t even look at her. Angry that she didn’t just kiss her when she had the chance.
“We just. We…” Buffy stops, taking a breath. She still doesn’t turn around; she’s staring out the window. “We get that way. Us. We yell and we, I don’t know. Work stuff out. So. Let’s just leave it.”
“Yeah, cause that was really healthy,” Faith mutters under her breath.
“Look I’m just saying,” Buffy defends, finally turning around to look at her. “That’s happened a lot. Okay? Not in awhile, but it used to happen all the time. It’s just how we get when we spar. It just is what it is and there’s no reason to throw a parade over it.”
Faith scoffs. What the hell was Buffy doing? Trying to be the bigger person? She really didn’t like the tone of voice she was using, like she was trying to explain something to a child. Explain that the world just sucks and there’s nothing anyone can do about it, that sort of thing. And yeah, okay, maybe things used to get heated when they were younger, but they never almost kissed.
Does it just get worse with age?
“It’s just the connection we have,” Buffy finishes, like that explained everything. Whatever.
“Bit fucked up that our connection wants us to…” Make out. But Faith didn’t finish her sentence. She just shakes her head, annoyed, and gets herself up off the wall, crossing over to grab her hoodie. “Alright B, no parade. Gotcha.”
“Faith.”
But Faith doesn’t turn around as she leaves, not wanting to look at her right now. “It’s all good. Got places to be,” Faith avoids. Then she’s gone, away from all the craziness and the headaches and the confusion.
That’s just how they got? What kind of ridiculous bullshit was that? Yeah, Buffy just admitted there was something. Sure, yay, what-the-fuck-ever. But… damnit. Watching her just try to rationalize it by spewing the first load of crap that came to her mind fucking… hurt. Maybe because she isn’t sure if it’s true or not. What if that is just how they got? What it has nothing to do with anything, and Faith’s feelings for Buffy are completely separate from that entire fuckery?
One thing’s for sure though: next time Buffy asks her to spar, she’s gonna tell her to stick it up her ass. She didn’t need this crap. Everything hurt enough as it is.
MOVE FORWARD TO PART THREE....