(no subject)
Title: Better Than Paperwork: Part II
Fandom: Crossover: Keeping Up Appearances and Primeval
Rating: G
Summary: A dodo appears in Hyacinth's living room. Connor and Abby are sent to investigate.
Disclaimer: Characters and settings do not belong to me. No copyright infringement is intended.
Part I :: Part II
Before Abby could even reach up to ring the doorbell, the door opened and she was assailed by a strong smell of perfume. A heavyset woman wearing a floral dress stood there with a forced smile on her face. "I presume that you're with the metropolitan police," the woman said. "My name's Hyacinth Bouquet." She looked Abby up and down and wrinkled her nose slightly.
Abby disliked her immediately. "We're actually not..." she began to say but Hyacinth interrupted her.
"Do take off your shoes when you come in. I just had my floor relacquered last week," Hyacinth said, stepping back. Abby couldn't help noticing that despite the order, Hyacinth herself was wearing heels. "And make sure you don't brush against my walls."
As Hyacinth turned around, Abby exchanged an incredulous expression with Connor who was already pulling off his shoes. "Don't brush up against her walls?" she mouthed.
Connor shrugged. He was in the process of setting his shoes down on the doormat when Hyacinth turned around. She raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips. "I would greatly appreciate it if you would place your shoes neatly next to each other. I'm very well regarded in the neighbourhood and it just wouldn't do to have shoes placed untidily on my doorstep."
With gritted teeth, Abby straightened out her own shoes and watched Connor do the same. She held her bag against her body carefully as they walked inside the floor. Hyacinth hadn't been lying when she said she had the floors relacquered. Abby felt as though she might slip down any minute in her stockinged feet.
"The creature is in our formal sitting area," Hyacinth informed them in a tight voice. "It is most unseemly. I must have it gone in time for my candlelight supper tonight. In this neighbourhood, I am very well regarded for my candlelight suppers."
Connor coughed. "I bet," he muttered.
Abby elbowed him in the ribs. "We'll get rid of it, Mrs, uh, Bouquet," she said, putting on her best professional tone of voice.
"See that you do," Hyacinth said severely, looking down at Abby's clothing. "I must say though, the dress code for the metropolitan police has gone down recently. It is most inappropriate for a woman to be out wearing short trousers."
"We're not..." Abby tried again but Hyacinth had pulled open the living room door. Abby stared. A mostly bald man was attempting to chase around a dodo who was clearly having more fun than he was.
"Richard!" Hyacinth exclaimed. "I will not have you running in the house, especially not on our new expensive Persian carpeting. I will not have our expensive Persian carpeting ruined by scuff marks!"
"Yes, dear," Richard replied, immediately slowing down. The dodo squawked loudly and darted under a table. It looked Hyacinth and immediately looked away. Abby didn't blame the dodo.
Abby strode into the living room. "We can take care of this," she said authoritatively, ignoring Hyacinth's burbles of protest at the way Abby was walking across her carpet. "You two go to the kitchen or something and make yourselves a cup of tea." She beckoned for Richard to come to the hallway. He gave her a grateful look.
"Be careful!" Hyacinth exclaimed as Abby walked towards the dodo. "I have some very expensive ornaments." She pointed towards a porcelain ballerina.
Abby breathed a sigh of relief when Connor firmly closed the door in Hyacinth's face. "That's better," Abby muttered, turning around to face the dodo. A dodo she could handle, but she didn't think she could stand one more second of listening to Hyacinth Bucket.
Fandom: Crossover: Keeping Up Appearances and Primeval
Rating: G
Summary: A dodo appears in Hyacinth's living room. Connor and Abby are sent to investigate.
Disclaimer: Characters and settings do not belong to me. No copyright infringement is intended.
Part I :: Part II
Before Abby could even reach up to ring the doorbell, the door opened and she was assailed by a strong smell of perfume. A heavyset woman wearing a floral dress stood there with a forced smile on her face. "I presume that you're with the metropolitan police," the woman said. "My name's Hyacinth Bouquet." She looked Abby up and down and wrinkled her nose slightly.
Abby disliked her immediately. "We're actually not..." she began to say but Hyacinth interrupted her.
"Do take off your shoes when you come in. I just had my floor relacquered last week," Hyacinth said, stepping back. Abby couldn't help noticing that despite the order, Hyacinth herself was wearing heels. "And make sure you don't brush against my walls."
As Hyacinth turned around, Abby exchanged an incredulous expression with Connor who was already pulling off his shoes. "Don't brush up against her walls?" she mouthed.
Connor shrugged. He was in the process of setting his shoes down on the doormat when Hyacinth turned around. She raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips. "I would greatly appreciate it if you would place your shoes neatly next to each other. I'm very well regarded in the neighbourhood and it just wouldn't do to have shoes placed untidily on my doorstep."
With gritted teeth, Abby straightened out her own shoes and watched Connor do the same. She held her bag against her body carefully as they walked inside the floor. Hyacinth hadn't been lying when she said she had the floors relacquered. Abby felt as though she might slip down any minute in her stockinged feet.
"The creature is in our formal sitting area," Hyacinth informed them in a tight voice. "It is most unseemly. I must have it gone in time for my candlelight supper tonight. In this neighbourhood, I am very well regarded for my candlelight suppers."
Connor coughed. "I bet," he muttered.
Abby elbowed him in the ribs. "We'll get rid of it, Mrs, uh, Bouquet," she said, putting on her best professional tone of voice.
"See that you do," Hyacinth said severely, looking down at Abby's clothing. "I must say though, the dress code for the metropolitan police has gone down recently. It is most inappropriate for a woman to be out wearing short trousers."
"We're not..." Abby tried again but Hyacinth had pulled open the living room door. Abby stared. A mostly bald man was attempting to chase around a dodo who was clearly having more fun than he was.
"Richard!" Hyacinth exclaimed. "I will not have you running in the house, especially not on our new expensive Persian carpeting. I will not have our expensive Persian carpeting ruined by scuff marks!"
"Yes, dear," Richard replied, immediately slowing down. The dodo squawked loudly and darted under a table. It looked Hyacinth and immediately looked away. Abby didn't blame the dodo.
Abby strode into the living room. "We can take care of this," she said authoritatively, ignoring Hyacinth's burbles of protest at the way Abby was walking across her carpet. "You two go to the kitchen or something and make yourselves a cup of tea." She beckoned for Richard to come to the hallway. He gave her a grateful look.
"Be careful!" Hyacinth exclaimed as Abby walked towards the dodo. "I have some very expensive ornaments." She pointed towards a porcelain ballerina.
Abby breathed a sigh of relief when Connor firmly closed the door in Hyacinth's face. "That's better," Abby muttered, turning around to face the dodo. A dodo she could handle, but she didn't think she could stand one more second of listening to Hyacinth Bucket.