Morning, May 15

[hbic_cuddy]

Cuddy really didn't sleep after House left, not even after she turned off the light and stretched out in the bed. She dozed a little but always roused after a few minutes to look at the bassinet. Emma slept, at least, and watching her daughter sleeping so innocently was completely engrossing for Cuddy

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[whatstheddx]

For a little while, House managed to get back to sleep. It was a doze but with still vivid dreams, a doze that had him feeling groggier when he roused from it. For a little while, he struggled between finding the energy to get himself up out of bed and simply rolling over to go back to sleep. Physically, he felt like he could sleep for the entire day but as thoughts of the night before took more solid form in his mind, he forgot about tiredness and got lost in thought over the baby

[whatstheddx]

Cuddy wasn't the only one chagrined. But instead of being chagrined out of guilt, he was chagrined out of annoyance at Wilson bringing up Cuddy's parents. Well... perhaps it was also a little out of guilt, too. Guilt because any mention of Cuddy's mother always reminded him of the disastrous dinner he'd had with her and Cuddy. More than that, mention of Cuddy's parents reminded him of his own parents. As always, he tried to squash any thought of them down, though he had to do it with extra force now that he was holding his daughter in his arms

[hbic_cuddy]

"Of course, he hasn't," Cuddy muttered to herself as she tucked her phone back in her purse. She glanced over at House, then, her expression one of disappointment

[whatstheddx]

The look of disappointment Cuddy gave House didn't go amiss. He saw it and he wished he hadn't. He wasn't particularly keen on handing the baby over to Wilson, either. He'd never admit it, but he was enjoying sitting with her, even if doing so made him feel self-conscious with Wilson in the room

[whatstheddx]

Heading back to the elevator, Wilson asked, "So, when are you going to tell your parents?"

House hit the button. "Oh, for God's sake, don't start."

"If I don't start, Cuddy will," Wilson pointed out. "I think it's better you take it out on me than her right now."

"How very noble of you," House sarcastically retorted.

"When are you going to tell them?" Wilson pressed.

House sipped his coffee and looked away. He didn't know when he was going to tell them. Never, if he could get away with it. Thing was, his mom was usually the one who rang and she always knew when something was different or wrong, didn't matter how much he tried to mask it from her.

Wilson sighed. "Your mom would be hurt if she finds out you've kept this from her."

Damn Wilson and his guilt daggers. House shot him a look. "It's none of your business whether my parents know or not."

"It's Cuddy's business," Wilson replied. "And it's Emma's business, too."

"How exactly does that equal to it being your business

[hbic_cuddy]

Cuddy glanced away from Emma at Wilson's less than subtle attempt to get House alone. Her eyebrows raised when House was only too eager to follow along.... And then she simply turned her attention back to getting Emma to settle down

[whatstheddx]

Surely Wilson wouldn't, House tried to reason to himself. Surely Wilson wouldn't phone his parents and drop that huge of a bomb on them. He rubbed his forehead and watched as Wilson slipped inside Cuddy's room, imagining the kind of conversation he was probably raising with her right now. Either he'd go in and pretend nothing had just been discussed. Or he'd go in there and make some kind of announcement that he was calling Blythe and John with some news. Or he'd go in there and start trying to manipulate Cuddy into manipulating him to call his parents himself

[hbic_cuddy]

Wilson made one last attempt to make House see reason by appealing to Cuddy. "They're going to be hurt when they find out."

"It's too late to avoid that. He should've called them a long time ago," Cuddy said. She gave House a stern look. "And he will call them...just not today

[whatstheddx]

House ignored both Wilson's insistence and Cuddy's reprimanding look. Whatever issue they both tried to make about it now, it was too late. House knew it was too late. Part of him was regretting not telling them sooner, if only for the very reason Wilson had given: it wasn't going to be pretty if or when his parents did find out. And House loved his mother, he really did. He hated hurting her

[hbic_cuddy]

"No, it's not what I want to talk about right now," Cuddy said calmly. "And you're only mad because you know I'm right

[whatstheddx]

He gave a mild roll of his eyes at Cuddy's claim he was mad because she was right. Maybe he was a little mad that she was right. Well, more accurately, very annoyed rather than mad that she was right. He was even more annoyed at Wilson for broaching the subject in the first place, but Cuddy wasn't helping by insisting as well.

When she leaned into him with her head tucked by his, though, he closed his eyes and tried to calm his irritation with a slow, quiet exhale. God, he was tired, he realised. He was tired to the bone, the kind of tiredness that no amount of sleeping would really cure unless most of his troubles magically disappeared.

"I didn't soil any pairs of shorts last night," he retorted. Last night, he'd felt at times like he almost would, though. The previous night still felt like something from a dream instead of something that actually happened. The baby still didn't seem real to him in some ways

[hbic_cuddy]

"It was a bit...surreal

[whatstheddx]

House wasn't sure how to respond to Cuddy telling him he was good with the baby. She'd only seen him engage with her for less than five minutes. How could she really judge just from that short amount of time? The kid was newborn and he hadn't really done anything besides put on a diaper - poorly

[hbic_cuddy]

"Don't be so negative," Cuddy said lightly. Not that she was surprised. House was negative about almost everything. What she'd come to understand was that his negativity was as much about his lack of belief in himself as it was his lack of belief in his fellow man. It was something she knew he was working on in therapy and she knew it would take time...even though she'd like to smack him upside the head and tell him to get over it.

"You interact with her. You watch her, talk to her, hold her." She didn't need to observe him for days or weeks. She'd seen enough in the hours since Emma's birth to know he'd barely taken his eyes off her. He didn't have to be engaged in some formal, meaningful activity with her. Any interaction he had with her was meaningful. And the more time he spent with the baby, the more she'd respond to him and it would become a positive feedback loop

[whatstheddx]

To be fair, all the times he'd held her was because someone else needed to hold her. The night before, when Cuddy had needed to go to the bathroom, the nurse had asked him to hold Emma. This morning, when Cuddy had wanted a shower, she'd given Emma to him. He wasn't sure being told to hold the baby counted. Then again, he wasn't sure why he was looking for something, anything to prove Cuddy had no reason to already have faith in him.

"Yeah. Wiping poop of her backside is the ultimate bonding and interaction experience," he replied dryly. He was about to add further to that, about bragging about Emma, when the door opened. Immediately, House tensed a little at the fact the nurse could see Cuddy sitting on his lap. But at the same time, he'd gone through so much in the last twelve hours, with nurses and doctors walking in and out and seeing him tending to Cuddy in all sorts of ways, that he couldn't truly bring himself to care too much right now

[hbic_cuddy]

"Marriage isn't stupid. Some of the people who commit matrimony are, but marriage isn't," Cuddy said. "Besides, if Emma gets married, she might decide to keep her maiden name