sometimes i hate myself.....alot...in fact thats most of the time...dont bother telling me youre so great matt. im really not... sometimes people make mistakes and alot of them and sometimes people make things right... where am i now i dont know. thats what makes me the most depressed being confused about being happy, how messed up is that

hahaha so its funny when i can totally tell my dads talking to my grandpa...actually i think its only funny for me and mandie.. but that doesnt matter... its totally hilarious well anyways... despite how depressed i am right now its just nice to just sit back wiht a few friends and do nothing, even though i could only do it for an hour or so then ( Read more... )

ROCKFORD SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

however swk, dan and val do not...

sometimes life is confusing.. right now it is one of those times... i dont want to go into detail i just want to vent... fuck all the bullshit that comes along, fuck everything and everyone i wish i could just stay by myself. i know i wouldnt be happy but it wouldnt be as frustrating as things are right now

life is so weird right now. creamo is closing, billy and juan got transfered... everythings changing... the only thing that was constant in my life is changing and i feel like, i dunno... its alos funny because when you think something is one way.. it totally turns out to bite you in the ass. fuck all of this, i totally think steve is onto

today my soul died a little bit... jessie mccartney was at the mall and he stole a little bit of everyones soul who worked today... it was terrible, thank god me and billy and juan watched awesome movies and got drunk it was fun.. well anyways, lata

its a weird feeling.... to actually have no emotions for a change.. im not really sad not really happy... i konw i said this yesterday but apparently people still thought i was depressed so to clear that up I AM NOT DEPRESSED!!! but i am however indifferent.. its nice.. as weird as it seems. i have no feelings towards anyone really anymore.. i ( Read more... )

ive had the shittiest few days but im still not depressed, not happy but not depressed... i think this trying a whole positive outlook thing might be working... ive even been drinking less... wtf is up that... hehe oh well atleast i know things cant get anyworse

countdown... we have a show on saturday im not sure how many days that is.. call me stupid call me drunk, whichever you prefer.. all i have to say is that this show should rule and im really excited about it... also tommorow we should have one track from the CHUNNEL OF LOVE cd for you to all here if you are interested. so lemme know if you want to ( Read more... )

so odviously we have a show, merch and an album coming up.. how can we pay for this.. thats the exact question im asking myself... i wish that people in my band besides danny would get off their lazy asses because i sure as hell cant pay for all this and niether can danny.. our band is alot of fun and i like the people im with.. but i cant work ( Read more... )