Fat Ass and Fiery River: A Pictorial Fairy Tale

[csecooney]

WARNING: This entry contains cussing. Lots of it. Really. Stop reading if it bothers you.

Once upon a time, there lived a woman of Westerly.

Comments

[csecooney]

Well, I've had close friends grab my ass before. If it's in fun, and if the boundaries are defined, understood and respected between friends, it's not really uncomfortable.

In fact, it was my friend Nin who told me (and she was the first one to ever tell me this, like, ever) as I was walking in front of her up her basement stairs, that I had a really nice ass. Surprised the hell out of me. The closest anyone'd come was my brother's friend, who told my brother, right in my hearing, "Your sister'd have a nice ass if she lost some weight."

Which isn't the same thing!

You can't imagine the novelty of such a compliment. (Well, maybe you can!) And she meant it too. You can always tell when people mean it.

Anyway, I can tell YOU mean it. So regardless of my sexual preference, I don't mind a little SQUEEZE from you across the many miles. :)

[maladaptive]

It's never about taste, or what you look like, and aaaaall about the entitlement they feel to comment on what they see as public property.

What I resent most is how the reminder that I'm not a person is how it can ruin a whole day. All the times I wish for superpowers, it's telekinesis. So as that car is driving away I can fling it off the road and crush it with the power of my loathing.

I'm not a violent person. But in my world, capital offenses would be littering and catcalling. There's no excuse for either of those-- I guess unless you're being chased by a bear, in which case you've got justifiable littering, so really the only capital offense would be catcalling.

[csecooney]

I'd replied to this, but the INTERNET ATE IT!

Basically, I thought that in the whole telekinesis-for-vengeance realm, one might wreak all sorts of havoc without reverting to capital punishment. Like, a well-timed overturned dumpster during a very important date. Equivalent to a catcalling being having to LIVE with a terrible smell on the night you most want to impress someone.

[_stranger_here]

The thing is, you and jerks like that are not living in the same world. Sure, you share some overlap of physical area; but his life is being lived in a toxic sphere (diesel clouds and noxious muck!) that's far from the rarified air you breathe. Because you are somewhere else entirely: you are moving through your very own version of the world, which you are creating. You are taking the materials you are given and you are reimagining them, suffusing them with new color, setting them aglow. You are spinning them out all around you as you go, building a brave new world. And most wonderful of all: you are putting your visions into words that invite others to share the view with you. You open the door so that we may widen our own worlds to connect with yours, and visit

[csecooney]

You know, I love you? I hope you know that? I don't think I ever told you, but I might as well, right here and now. I love you. And I've been missing you, actually, and thinking about writing you a letter. I'm jealous every time Amal says she chats with you on g-chat or talks with you on her landline (I mean, it's a two way jealousy, in that I'm jealous of both of you for each other's sake. But it's not a BAD or BITTER jealousy.)

I mean, it's not like I don't have your number. I could totally call you.

Maybe in the fall, when things slow down and I'm not playing desperate catch up on my few days off. I owe so many phone calls and letters, but there is a pleasure in finally getting to them. And I look forward to that pleasure with you.

And thank you. I'm glad you inhabit an intersecting world similar enough to my own that we can recognize each other in passing. I hope you are well.

[_stranger_here]

You have my number and you can totally call me, any time. We can sing showtunes together over the wires!

I am also caught up in a kind of long-term work madness that leaves me sorely overdue on everything including contact with friends; but I'm about to change all that and then I shall get better acquainted with this revolutionary newfangled technology called Phone.

Oh: and I love you too, Claire. It just sort of snuck up on me, somehow. You're pretty damn lovable.

P.S. POINTS TO KAREN FOR GETTING TAGLINE REFERENCE

[csecooney]

Tim Curry all the way, pal.

"Ooh, you'll love my (ahh-ahh-ahh) TOXIC LUH-UHV!"

[ckd]

I am sorry that you encountered someone so ill-mannered and lacking in aesthetic sense at a time when you were looking forward to so much wonder and enjoyment, especially as his pathetic attempt to drag you into his poorly-ventilated headspace made your evening less than it should rightfully have been.

(Positive comments about someone's appearance do not simply counteract negative ones in a mathematical fashion, and I generally refrain from making comments on my friends' appearances[1] in order to avoid causing them discomfort or concern about my motives...but should you feel that my positive comments would be of assistance, these photos are quite suitable inspiration.)

[1] Though there can be exceptions when the conversational context makes it reasonable to do so.

[csecooney]

Thanks, Christopher! Yeah, the math never adds up, which is a damned shame, because I generally get far more compliments than insults. But I think it's that kind of love I've been shown that lets me get on with my life, rather than sort of be a shattered wreck for days. I am buoyed out of the muck by a sense of well-being... And almost a... a directive to take care of myself, for the sake of those who love me.

So thank you.

[ext_247783]

I'd love you to think that the beautiful night, and the wind, was me wrapping my arms around you in a hug that I HATE not being able to really give you, being, as I am, too too too far away. I have loved you since the moment I met you, have thought you beautiful, glowing, radiant, lovely, fascinating, irresistible - always irresistible. I am never so free as when I am with you. I am freer with you than when I am alone. Isn't that a miraculous thing?

[csecooney]

It is, my beauty. And I so wished that I could've called you right after, to hear your voice and how you'd just ROLL YOUR EYES over your phone, or make tongue-clucking noises, or put Tara on to babble or something.

Kiri, I really HAVE to figure out how to make international calls on my phone. Like, with a phone card. You'd think, after ALL THESE YEARS of you studying or living overseas, I'd be able to do that!!!

I love you.

[asakiyume]

The only thing I was going to add to what sevenravens said was that, while you may not like the song (LOL; I just typed "snog," which is British slang for kissing, which I think you know, and I'm sure you must like. Kissing, that is)--though I do like the song--that song "Baby's Got Back" is a testament to how much some guys really do like a phat ass. (If you don't know the song and you listen, you've got to ignore the intro, which is a (stereo)typical mean girl doing fat shaming

[csecooney]

I know that song. It is a pretty damn exuberant song.