Poem: "Practical" Sawyer [Lost]

Jul 20, 2006 20:41

Title: Practical
Character: Sawyer
Rating: PG
A/N: For her majesty
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summer luau, my poetry, writing: lost

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Comments 16

eponine119 July 21 2006, 01:18:57 UTC
This was absolutely gorgeous.

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crowgirl13 July 21 2006, 01:22:07 UTC
Thank you. [I was really nervous about this one.]

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bodhifox July 21 2006, 01:24:16 UTC
Is this safe for me to read? Hint- there is something for you on my journal...

Why are you nervous? What up?

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crowgirl13 July 21 2006, 01:54:00 UTC
It's safe for you to read - like I promised, if it's marked 'Slash' then you want to steer clear- but there are references to the show in the poem. The last two poetic entries are the same way. Feel free to read and comment, but they are tied into the show. :D

A treat? For me? Excellent!

I'm nervous because I'm not sure about this piece. That's all. *hugs*

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bodhifox July 21 2006, 02:50:05 UTC
Well I'm glad to see you posting something, I was wondering. Hey, did you ever notice how much this guy looks like me? Which month is your Grand tour again?

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crowgirl13 July 21 2006, 03:35:38 UTC
Wondering if I fell off the face of the earth? No- but the heat-wave fried my brain. Wondering if the muses ran away, abandoning me? Er...no, but they were standing very far away and doing taunting fan dances, which hasn't been helping me write much of anything.

You think this guy here looks you? i think you're much cuter ;D.

and I leave on my adventure on the 7th. :D

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inthekeyofd July 21 2006, 01:26:24 UTC
God you are so talented!! Absolutely wonderful!!

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crowgirl13 July 21 2006, 01:47:00 UTC
Wow. *blushes* I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for commenting- I really appreciate the feedback. :D

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cmonkatiekatie July 21 2006, 03:26:53 UTC
Holy Hell. What I love about this, is that I follow it. (I can sometimes be a bit dense about poetry) I love how it ends and bgins with the raft and how you just capture everything that is Sawyer so efficiently. But this part was my favorite:

Given a choice between hearts and diamonds,
he’d choose the angles,
the clean edge,
not the lush curve.

The language is beautiful but does its job (if that makes any sense at all)

and btw, is it alright if I friend you? I;ve read some of your other stuf and liked it. Plus reading this made me feel smart!

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crowgirl13 July 21 2006, 04:43:03 UTC
I am so glad the pressie met with your approval, your Highness!
*grins and curtseys*

Your comment makes perfect sense, have no fear. :D The hands prompt instantly reminded me of the whole raft constructing/navigating process [I suspect all the picspam with photos from Exodus helped with that too]. Which then got me thinking about all the things Sawyer actually *does*. Of course, you can't forget playing cards...and I thought Sawyer would consider cards in a vastly different light than most folk. Anyway...I'm glad you found it effective [one does wonder about such things] and that you enjoyed it. Long live the Queen!

I'd love it if you friended me! Be warned, though- I talk about all sorts of stuff, not just fandom. Oh, and I tend to ramble on in comments. ;D *runs off to friend you back*

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cmonkatiekatie July 21 2006, 05:04:21 UTC
I talk about all sorts of stuff, not just fandom. Oh, and I tend to ramble on in comments.

all of this just made me like you more!

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crowgirl13 July 21 2006, 18:45:30 UTC
Oh goodie! We're going to get along swimmingly, I can tell. :D

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fosfomifira July 21 2006, 03:46:19 UTC
Very interesting. Especially:

The island flattens him
to the pinch of fingers
against paper.
Sawyer’s hands are left empty.

How odd that he'd resent, in a manner of speaking, his books, how they are part of the barrier that separates him from the world outside. Or how odd that's how I'm reading it.

Sawyer digs
the trench between his heart
and the signal fire.

Loved that bit. He always keeps a distance between what he wants and himself.

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crowgirl13 July 21 2006, 18:56:28 UTC
I think that reading resentment in Sawyer's 'being flattened' is quite accurate. In his own way, Sawyer is as much of a control freak as Jack - he's just bound and determined to control events that affect *him*. So, the books act as a resented barrier [in this instance at least] and a necessary protection. And yeah, 'digging trenches...' is all about keeping distance between wants and the self - Sawyer is after all, well-acquainted with disappointment. ;D

The 'trenches' line is also one of my favorites in the poem, so I'm pleased you liked it, in particular.

I'm also glad you found this interesting. :D ♥ hugs ♥

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