Year in Review

Dec 31, 2011 09:26

2011 was a hard year for me, and I don't really expect 2012 to be any less difficult ( Read more... )

angst

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fenmere December 31 2011, 21:03:50 UTC
I'm sure perspective is not what you're looking for, as it sounds like you've already got too much of it, but you prompt me, so if you'll excuse me for a moment!

Cliched as this sounds, I never really could see what my future could be until I met Julie. It isn't so much the finding and marrying someone, though that gives you impetus to plan, but rather other events that transpired since then: Getting a kick-ass job and being able to buy a freaking house. Strangely, though I'm more stable in these two things than anybody else I know, they don't really help me feel secure.

Funny thing for me is that now that I have a future I can see, I have a couple of problems with it: 1) I'm not entirely sure its the one I really wanted to shoot for, but I feel stuck in it; And 2) I'm now afraid of losing it.

But, yes, this new situation feels a hell of a lot better than the feeling of doom and despair I felt before ( ... )

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