I'm sure perspective is not what you're looking for, as it sounds like you've already got too much of it, but you prompt me, so if you'll excuse me for a moment!
Cliched as this sounds, I never really could see what my future could be until I met Julie. It isn't so much the finding and marrying someone, though that gives you impetus to plan, but rather other events that transpired since then: Getting a kick-ass job and being able to buy a freaking house. Strangely, though I'm more stable in these two things than anybody else I know, they don't really help me feel secure.
Funny thing for me is that now that I have a future I can see, I have a couple of problems with it: 1) I'm not entirely sure its the one I really wanted to shoot for, but I feel stuck in it; And 2) I'm now afraid of losing it.
But, yes, this new situation feels a hell of a lot better than the feeling of doom and despair I felt before.
I think what would really help, if you could find a way to do this, is to somehow make for yourself some slack. A person needs some time and space and comfort to think and ponder without worry. If you can't make it for yourself, see if you can find someone who can help you get some. Might just be a friend with encouraging words is all you can find. Money really helps, and so does vacation time, of course...
Anyway, slack or no, if you can figure out how to diagram out a new future from what you've got (it might resemble your old one), I think that would go a long way toward giving you direction. You could make a list of your current assets, another list of your current obstacles, and a list of the three top things you'd like to be able to do in your life. Put the list of obstacles under a pile of books and ignore it for a while, then work down from the list of top three things, and work out what you need to be able to achieve each one. Then compare that to your assets. Then you can more easily work out how to bridge the gap between your assets and what you need.
The goal is to come up with a set of achievable goals, which you can tackle one at a time.
Then, what I'd do is take all of these lists and lose them in your stuff, and find them ten years later. You'll probably find that you've followed your plan pretty close to the letter by then.
That's what I did with HFR, and I exceeded my goals.
The writing of the obstacles isn't necessary, and you might avoid it, but sometimes it helps to complain and get it out of the way. Also, it might be fun to compare your experience to your predictions and see how close you were.
Cliched as this sounds, I never really could see what my future could be until I met Julie. It isn't so much the finding and marrying someone, though that gives you impetus to plan, but rather other events that transpired since then: Getting a kick-ass job and being able to buy a freaking house. Strangely, though I'm more stable in these two things than anybody else I know, they don't really help me feel secure.
Funny thing for me is that now that I have a future I can see, I have a couple of problems with it: 1) I'm not entirely sure its the one I really wanted to shoot for, but I feel stuck in it; And 2) I'm now afraid of losing it.
But, yes, this new situation feels a hell of a lot better than the feeling of doom and despair I felt before.
I think what would really help, if you could find a way to do this, is to somehow make for yourself some slack. A person needs some time and space and comfort to think and ponder without worry. If you can't make it for yourself, see if you can find someone who can help you get some. Might just be a friend with encouraging words is all you can find. Money really helps, and so does vacation time, of course...
Anyway, slack or no, if you can figure out how to diagram out a new future from what you've got (it might resemble your old one), I think that would go a long way toward giving you direction. You could make a list of your current assets, another list of your current obstacles, and a list of the three top things you'd like to be able to do in your life. Put the list of obstacles under a pile of books and ignore it for a while, then work down from the list of top three things, and work out what you need to be able to achieve each one. Then compare that to your assets. Then you can more easily work out how to bridge the gap between your assets and what you need.
The goal is to come up with a set of achievable goals, which you can tackle one at a time.
Then, what I'd do is take all of these lists and lose them in your stuff, and find them ten years later. You'll probably find that you've followed your plan pretty close to the letter by then.
That's what I did with HFR, and I exceeded my goals.
The writing of the obstacles isn't necessary, and you might avoid it, but sometimes it helps to complain and get it out of the way. Also, it might be fun to compare your experience to your predictions and see how close you were.
Reply
Leave a comment