a thread of colors around her wrist
pairing : joy/zelo
genre : romance
rating : g
Some things never changed.
Like the way her hair swayed in a graceful dance when she walked down the ground beneath her soles. Or the way she smiled with her eyes almost closed, leaving trace of two crescent moons painted on her face. The way she sipped strawberry milkshake not from the straw, but by putting the edge of the glass between her pink lips.
Many things about her never changed for over fifteen years he knew her. Junhong could easily list all of it within ten minutes.
He remembered back that hazy September day filled with the smell of rain and dry flowers, a cut of season between late summer and early autumn. They had known each other for two years when she appeared on his porch with a wide smile on her face, asked his mother politely whether he was home. They were barely friends back then and the talks which exchanged were simply polite remarks.
They were twelve. A geography assignment in which they were partnered up was the first knot of their bond.
Bikes and cheap chocolate pies, lay down their backs on dewy grass, staring above to the blue skies. They explored the parks and meadows in their neighborhood, pretending they were Columbus or Vasco de Gama. They drew maps and played tag, hid treasures they found in a wooden cart from his father's garage.
Soon, the assignment was a mere excuse to cling together. They kept seeing each other even after the project was over.
"We're gonna conquer the world." She said one afternoon when they hung out in the meadow, laying on their stomach while facing a hand drawn map placed in the space between them.
Junhong rolled his body to face her, chilly autumn breeze blew on his black hair.
"How?"
"We'll be pirates and sail the oceans and hunt the treasures. I'll be the commanding captain and you draw the maps. What's the word? Navigator?"
Junhong chuckled, his hand reached out for her head and brushed a fallen petal of yellow from her ebony hair.
"It's cartographer, silly."
Sooyoung still loved pirates and treasures up until now.
Once, when they were in tenth grade she terrorized him to get the newest game from Pirates of Caribbean franchise for her birthday present. Junhong ran out of money at that time. He didn't buy her the game, instead, he gave her the game.
He drew a map and set up a treasure hunt just for her. A bracelet made from sea glass in midnight blue and lime yellow, dusty pink and translucent charcoal, framed in alloy, was the final prize.
Sooyoung wore the bracelet, even when she had a boyfriend.
There were many things changed throughout the years they were together. The times when she fell in love, the times when he found a taste of loving someone.
His first girlfriend was a high school student when he was in junior high school. They met at the cram school and dated for three months before broke up. Her first boyfriend was a friend to both of them. Her relationship lasted longer than his, counted for almost a year.
When she broke up with her boyfriend, it was catastrophic. She lost her appetite and refused to leave her room. School was a nightmare for her because she would see her ex there. It was a dreadful period, for both of her and him. Junhong was angry at her ex because he hurt her, but the guy was also a dear friend of him. He couldn’t casually take sides, because he knew both side’s stories.
Still, he chose her. He would choose her over and over again, no matter what the situations or lifetimes they were in.
The second guy who came in her life was when they were in high school. A senior who liked street fight and race bike, the one who you’d like to avoid if you could. But Sooyoung was a challenger, she loved the rush and adrenaline of loving a trouble.
Junhong didn’t like it a bit at that time, never liked it at all.
“I don’t want to see you hurt,” he said one day. They were sitting on his porch, surrounded by papers and books and homework, iced lemonade and cooled watermelons. It was one hot summer day, with dry wind idly caressed bare skins.
She blew few strands of hair fell on her face and shot a glance to him who was writing down equations in his book. Her sea glass bracelet dangling from her wrist, catching the white gleam of sunlight and gave out sparkles on its glossy surfaces.
“We talked over this already. Besides, I like bad boy.” There was a tingle of playfulness in her voice and she was clearly amused with his concern. Junhong liked it when she was in a good mood, but he still disliked the idea of her being with a bad boy.
“It’s not healthy. The way he looks at you as if, like he wants to eat you.”
The girl sighed. She patted his shoulders in a light tap to reassure him, and whispered, “Are you jealous? See, that’s your problem. You love me too much.”
Sooyoung was right about those things. Junhong loved her, but it didn’t mean that he was in love with her.
They were sixteen at that time.
One year and her relationship was still going strong, so he decided to stop his nag. It was when he fell in love for the second time.
Junhong was getting popular as he joined the student committee. He was towering kids around him with his height, and on the other hands, he was quite accomplished for his age. With National Science Olympiad finalist title and his unending polite, boyish charm made girls practically drawn to him. Eunha was with him in the student committee where they got close. At first, it was usual talks in the committee room, then came the texting, phone calls before bedtime, casual dates. Their relationship was like a tranquil lake, it was a kind which made you calm and comfortable.
Her relationship with her bad boy though, wasn’t an easy one. When they talked about their boyfriend and girlfriend, Sooyoung would describe her relationship as a storm. Black and blue and purplish shade were usual color she would find on her boyfriend’s face. He casually went out with girls other than Sooyoung and back to her drunk. They broke up several times, but they got back together like it wasn’t any faults.
“You’re crazy. Are you a masochist or what?” That was what he said after she finished her story. But she smirked like she actually enjoyed it.
“Do you remember? I’m a pirate, and I’m the captain. I like the feeling of facing a storm, because I know I will rule it out.”
She didn’t.
Her relationship fell apart and she was the broken one.
He stayed with her that night, the whole night. She cried and cried and spilled her tears, flooding her face but he didn’t wipe it. His heart ached for every sob she let out and every pieces of her shattered heart. He didn’t give her hugs, he didn’t speak, he just stayed there, knowing his mere presence was a comfort to her.
Junhong was still with Eunha for the rest of high school years and more, while Sooyoung decided not to pursue any romantic relationship after her breakup.
She found love again when they were in university. A senior from her faculty, tall and dashing, idolized by many girls. Sometimes they went out for double date; he with Eunha, she and the Mr. popular called Chanyeol. They got along well, the four of them.
But somewhere along the ride, Junhong and Sooyoung were drifting apart.
The meetings were less and lesser, the talks were shorter, text and phone calls were forgotten. He realized if the distance between them was natural, as they went to different university and there was nothing left to share.
That was why when they unexpectedly sat together on the bus ride home for Christmas break, he was rather surprised that she still had the sea glasses encircled her wrist.
The bus ride was an unleashing of nostalgia. They talked and talked, told their stories, filling the gap and void of time they weren’t next to each other. Seeing her and talking to her again, he realized how much he missed her voice and her laughter, the scent of summer and sea wrapped her tight, the soft skin when his hand accidentally brushed over her. He missed her and her whole existence in his life, the colors she painted all over him.
“I miss you, Junhong,” she said on their way home from the bus station.
“I miss you, too.”
Their favorite meadow was still the same although now it was covered in snow. The two of them, bundled in jackets and scarves, ran their way through the white sheets and laughed out loud when they stumbled down and kissed the snow below. It was like a time machine, how they felt like back in their childhood and dancing under the shy sky.
They lay down next to each other, watching the snowflakes cascading down to the earth. Their breaths came out as a white smoke, floating around, then disappeared into the cold air. One time his hand found hers, and he felt the soft leather of her gloves. She enclosed her hand around his, sharing their warmth beneath the orange glow of winter sundown.
Turning his head to his side, he caught a smile spread across her pale face when their eyes met. He reached out his hand to brush strands of hair from her cheek, tucked them behind her ear. She shivered and closed her eyes when he touched her, the smoke from her mouth and nose warmed up his face.
“Are you cold?”
She shook her head lightly and cupped his face with her hands. “We’re warm.”
It was a mistake, a sweet and great mistake because at that time when he was twenty-one, he fell in love with her.
When they back to the city however, he decided his feeling was a sprung of a moment. He had loved her, always loved her, but not the kind of feeling which made his heart races and choked on his breath every time he saw her. It was just… so wrong for him to feel like that. So he didn’t press it to her and their days back to normal. Her with her popular boyfriend and her pharmacy courses; him with his longtime girlfriend and his geodesy classes.
Except it wasn’t normal at all. He kept thinking about her, of her warmth and their touches over the glistening snow.
It was valentine day when he decided to break up with Eunha after four years together. He said sorry because he fell in love with other girl and Eunha knew, she knew from the moment he came back from his hometown, his heart belonged no longer to her. Their break up was a silent one, without tears and brawl. Only muted goodbyes and hollowness gnawing inside two broken souls.
Junhong still didn’t tell Sooyoung about his feeling back then.
One blue day when the sky falling into pieces of spring rain, he ran into her at the bus stop. She was standing under transparent umbrella, one hand stretched out to catch the water droplets, her sea glass peeked from the cuff of her coat.
“Hey.”
Her smile was the one which familiar to him, playful grin and twin crescents. Breathing slowly, he stood next to her under his own umbrella. His heart tightened at the sight of her profile, at the sight of her smile, at the sight of the bracelet.
“How about ramen?”
At the end, they hurled to the nearest ramen house, with rain tracing their footsteps on the wet pavement.
“I don’t know, Junhong. It’s his dream and I can’t stand as wall. We’re good, I mean, he left anyway. We agreed to try this long distance relationship, but it’s just… different.” She shrugged her shoulders. Her eyes stared at the ramen bowl in a long, severe gaze. He didn’t know about her boyfriend went away, and the aching in his heart was getting worse.
Because he was about to leave her as well.
“Sooyoung, there’s something I want to tell you.”
He didn’t know how this courage came to him, but there was this urgency to tell her, to say the things he wanted to say. Perhaps it was cruel of him to tell her when she still with her boyfriend, when he was going to burden her with the feeling of his.
“I love you.” There, he said it. He wished of no regret for saying the three words.
“But you always love me, right?” She propped her head with one hand, the other hands moved the chopsticks lazily, stirred the broth in the bowl.
“I mean, I’m in love with you.”
She froze. Chopsticks fell from her grasp and eyes stared at him in disbelief. She blinked, blinked and opened her mouth but there were no words coming out.
“I just want to say it to you. Don’t worry too much.” He stood up and paid for their meals, then bent down to land a kiss on her forehead.
“Goodbye, Sooyoung.”
He left her in the ramen house with a crumbling heart.
Two years in Delft. Two years pursuing master degree. Two years without Sooyoung.
They chatted sometimes, not frequently, but only to catch glimpses of each other’s life. Sooyoung graduated one year after he left. She worked at a clinic back in their hometown and broke up with her boyfriend not long after.
I guess I don’t love him anymore.
That was what she sent to him.
They never talked about his abrupt confession. She didn’t bring it up, and he didn’t want to dig his own grave. Thus, two years went on with their short chats, occasional tweets, and a whole world of longings.
He was twenty-three when he came back to Korea.
She didn’t change much; still loved pirates and treasure hunt, strawberry milkshake and cheap chocolate pies. Sometimes he saw her when he was around the hometown, sometimes she would visit him every time she went to the city where he worked as an analyst.
They stayed close and stayed as friends, until the day they were much more than it.
There was a change in their relationship, but some things remained still.
As she walked down her way to approach him under the eyes of dearest family and friends, her beaming smile was the one Junhong saw years ago when she appeared on his porch that afternoon. Her hair was still the same shade of black, braided with flowers to match her white dress. It was a white veil occasion, but the shimmering colors wrapped around her left wrist was still like yesterday, last year, and the years long ago on her fifteenth birthday.
They were twenty-five at that time.
I terribly missed them so much and I love torturing myself, apparently.
genre : romance
rating : g
Some things never changed.
Like the way her hair swayed in a graceful dance when she walked down the ground beneath her soles. Or the way she smiled with her eyes almost closed, leaving trace of two crescent moons painted on her face. The way she sipped strawberry milkshake not from the straw, but by putting the edge of the glass between her pink lips.
Many things about her never changed for over fifteen years he knew her. Junhong could easily list all of it within ten minutes.
He remembered back that hazy September day filled with the smell of rain and dry flowers, a cut of season between late summer and early autumn. They had known each other for two years when she appeared on his porch with a wide smile on her face, asked his mother politely whether he was home. They were barely friends back then and the talks which exchanged were simply polite remarks.
They were twelve. A geography assignment in which they were partnered up was the first knot of their bond.
Bikes and cheap chocolate pies, lay down their backs on dewy grass, staring above to the blue skies. They explored the parks and meadows in their neighborhood, pretending they were Columbus or Vasco de Gama. They drew maps and played tag, hid treasures they found in a wooden cart from his father's garage.
Soon, the assignment was a mere excuse to cling together. They kept seeing each other even after the project was over.
"We're gonna conquer the world." She said one afternoon when they hung out in the meadow, laying on their stomach while facing a hand drawn map placed in the space between them.
Junhong rolled his body to face her, chilly autumn breeze blew on his black hair.
"How?"
"We'll be pirates and sail the oceans and hunt the treasures. I'll be the commanding captain and you draw the maps. What's the word? Navigator?"
Junhong chuckled, his hand reached out for her head and brushed a fallen petal of yellow from her ebony hair.
"It's cartographer, silly."
Sooyoung still loved pirates and treasures up until now.
Once, when they were in tenth grade she terrorized him to get the newest game from Pirates of Caribbean franchise for her birthday present. Junhong ran out of money at that time. He didn't buy her the game, instead, he gave her the game.
He drew a map and set up a treasure hunt just for her. A bracelet made from sea glass in midnight blue and lime yellow, dusty pink and translucent charcoal, framed in alloy, was the final prize.
Sooyoung wore the bracelet, even when she had a boyfriend.
There were many things changed throughout the years they were together. The times when she fell in love, the times when he found a taste of loving someone.
His first girlfriend was a high school student when he was in junior high school. They met at the cram school and dated for three months before broke up. Her first boyfriend was a friend to both of them. Her relationship lasted longer than his, counted for almost a year.
When she broke up with her boyfriend, it was catastrophic. She lost her appetite and refused to leave her room. School was a nightmare for her because she would see her ex there. It was a dreadful period, for both of her and him. Junhong was angry at her ex because he hurt her, but the guy was also a dear friend of him. He couldn’t casually take sides, because he knew both side’s stories.
Still, he chose her. He would choose her over and over again, no matter what the situations or lifetimes they were in.
The second guy who came in her life was when they were in high school. A senior who liked street fight and race bike, the one who you’d like to avoid if you could. But Sooyoung was a challenger, she loved the rush and adrenaline of loving a trouble.
Junhong didn’t like it a bit at that time, never liked it at all.
“I don’t want to see you hurt,” he said one day. They were sitting on his porch, surrounded by papers and books and homework, iced lemonade and cooled watermelons. It was one hot summer day, with dry wind idly caressed bare skins.
She blew few strands of hair fell on her face and shot a glance to him who was writing down equations in his book. Her sea glass bracelet dangling from her wrist, catching the white gleam of sunlight and gave out sparkles on its glossy surfaces.
“We talked over this already. Besides, I like bad boy.” There was a tingle of playfulness in her voice and she was clearly amused with his concern. Junhong liked it when she was in a good mood, but he still disliked the idea of her being with a bad boy.
“It’s not healthy. The way he looks at you as if, like he wants to eat you.”
The girl sighed. She patted his shoulders in a light tap to reassure him, and whispered, “Are you jealous? See, that’s your problem. You love me too much.”
Sooyoung was right about those things. Junhong loved her, but it didn’t mean that he was in love with her.
They were sixteen at that time.
One year and her relationship was still going strong, so he decided to stop his nag. It was when he fell in love for the second time.
Junhong was getting popular as he joined the student committee. He was towering kids around him with his height, and on the other hands, he was quite accomplished for his age. With National Science Olympiad finalist title and his unending polite, boyish charm made girls practically drawn to him. Eunha was with him in the student committee where they got close. At first, it was usual talks in the committee room, then came the texting, phone calls before bedtime, casual dates. Their relationship was like a tranquil lake, it was a kind which made you calm and comfortable.
Her relationship with her bad boy though, wasn’t an easy one. When they talked about their boyfriend and girlfriend, Sooyoung would describe her relationship as a storm. Black and blue and purplish shade were usual color she would find on her boyfriend’s face. He casually went out with girls other than Sooyoung and back to her drunk. They broke up several times, but they got back together like it wasn’t any faults.
“You’re crazy. Are you a masochist or what?” That was what he said after she finished her story. But she smirked like she actually enjoyed it.
“Do you remember? I’m a pirate, and I’m the captain. I like the feeling of facing a storm, because I know I will rule it out.”
She didn’t.
Her relationship fell apart and she was the broken one.
He stayed with her that night, the whole night. She cried and cried and spilled her tears, flooding her face but he didn’t wipe it. His heart ached for every sob she let out and every pieces of her shattered heart. He didn’t give her hugs, he didn’t speak, he just stayed there, knowing his mere presence was a comfort to her.
Junhong was still with Eunha for the rest of high school years and more, while Sooyoung decided not to pursue any romantic relationship after her breakup.
She found love again when they were in university. A senior from her faculty, tall and dashing, idolized by many girls. Sometimes they went out for double date; he with Eunha, she and the Mr. popular called Chanyeol. They got along well, the four of them.
But somewhere along the ride, Junhong and Sooyoung were drifting apart.
The meetings were less and lesser, the talks were shorter, text and phone calls were forgotten. He realized if the distance between them was natural, as they went to different university and there was nothing left to share.
That was why when they unexpectedly sat together on the bus ride home for Christmas break, he was rather surprised that she still had the sea glasses encircled her wrist.
The bus ride was an unleashing of nostalgia. They talked and talked, told their stories, filling the gap and void of time they weren’t next to each other. Seeing her and talking to her again, he realized how much he missed her voice and her laughter, the scent of summer and sea wrapped her tight, the soft skin when his hand accidentally brushed over her. He missed her and her whole existence in his life, the colors she painted all over him.
“I miss you, Junhong,” she said on their way home from the bus station.
“I miss you, too.”
Their favorite meadow was still the same although now it was covered in snow. The two of them, bundled in jackets and scarves, ran their way through the white sheets and laughed out loud when they stumbled down and kissed the snow below. It was like a time machine, how they felt like back in their childhood and dancing under the shy sky.
They lay down next to each other, watching the snowflakes cascading down to the earth. Their breaths came out as a white smoke, floating around, then disappeared into the cold air. One time his hand found hers, and he felt the soft leather of her gloves. She enclosed her hand around his, sharing their warmth beneath the orange glow of winter sundown.
Turning his head to his side, he caught a smile spread across her pale face when their eyes met. He reached out his hand to brush strands of hair from her cheek, tucked them behind her ear. She shivered and closed her eyes when he touched her, the smoke from her mouth and nose warmed up his face.
“Are you cold?”
She shook her head lightly and cupped his face with her hands. “We’re warm.”
It was a mistake, a sweet and great mistake because at that time when he was twenty-one, he fell in love with her.
When they back to the city however, he decided his feeling was a sprung of a moment. He had loved her, always loved her, but not the kind of feeling which made his heart races and choked on his breath every time he saw her. It was just… so wrong for him to feel like that. So he didn’t press it to her and their days back to normal. Her with her popular boyfriend and her pharmacy courses; him with his longtime girlfriend and his geodesy classes.
Except it wasn’t normal at all. He kept thinking about her, of her warmth and their touches over the glistening snow.
It was valentine day when he decided to break up with Eunha after four years together. He said sorry because he fell in love with other girl and Eunha knew, she knew from the moment he came back from his hometown, his heart belonged no longer to her. Their break up was a silent one, without tears and brawl. Only muted goodbyes and hollowness gnawing inside two broken souls.
Junhong still didn’t tell Sooyoung about his feeling back then.
One blue day when the sky falling into pieces of spring rain, he ran into her at the bus stop. She was standing under transparent umbrella, one hand stretched out to catch the water droplets, her sea glass peeked from the cuff of her coat.
“Hey.”
Her smile was the one which familiar to him, playful grin and twin crescents. Breathing slowly, he stood next to her under his own umbrella. His heart tightened at the sight of her profile, at the sight of her smile, at the sight of the bracelet.
“How about ramen?”
At the end, they hurled to the nearest ramen house, with rain tracing their footsteps on the wet pavement.
“I don’t know, Junhong. It’s his dream and I can’t stand as wall. We’re good, I mean, he left anyway. We agreed to try this long distance relationship, but it’s just… different.” She shrugged her shoulders. Her eyes stared at the ramen bowl in a long, severe gaze. He didn’t know about her boyfriend went away, and the aching in his heart was getting worse.
Because he was about to leave her as well.
“Sooyoung, there’s something I want to tell you.”
He didn’t know how this courage came to him, but there was this urgency to tell her, to say the things he wanted to say. Perhaps it was cruel of him to tell her when she still with her boyfriend, when he was going to burden her with the feeling of his.
“I love you.” There, he said it. He wished of no regret for saying the three words.
“But you always love me, right?” She propped her head with one hand, the other hands moved the chopsticks lazily, stirred the broth in the bowl.
“I mean, I’m in love with you.”
She froze. Chopsticks fell from her grasp and eyes stared at him in disbelief. She blinked, blinked and opened her mouth but there were no words coming out.
“I just want to say it to you. Don’t worry too much.” He stood up and paid for their meals, then bent down to land a kiss on her forehead.
“Goodbye, Sooyoung.”
He left her in the ramen house with a crumbling heart.
Two years in Delft. Two years pursuing master degree. Two years without Sooyoung.
They chatted sometimes, not frequently, but only to catch glimpses of each other’s life. Sooyoung graduated one year after he left. She worked at a clinic back in their hometown and broke up with her boyfriend not long after.
I guess I don’t love him anymore.
That was what she sent to him.
They never talked about his abrupt confession. She didn’t bring it up, and he didn’t want to dig his own grave. Thus, two years went on with their short chats, occasional tweets, and a whole world of longings.
He was twenty-three when he came back to Korea.
She didn’t change much; still loved pirates and treasure hunt, strawberry milkshake and cheap chocolate pies. Sometimes he saw her when he was around the hometown, sometimes she would visit him every time she went to the city where he worked as an analyst.
They stayed close and stayed as friends, until the day they were much more than it.
There was a change in their relationship, but some things remained still.
As she walked down her way to approach him under the eyes of dearest family and friends, her beaming smile was the one Junhong saw years ago when she appeared on his porch that afternoon. Her hair was still the same shade of black, braided with flowers to match her white dress. It was a white veil occasion, but the shimmering colors wrapped around her left wrist was still like yesterday, last year, and the years long ago on her fifteenth birthday.
They were twenty-five at that time.
I terribly missed them so much and I love torturing myself, apparently.