Doing It Right (15/19)
Title: Doing It Right, Chapter 15: But I Can’t Help It
Author: creedogv
Rating: T
Summary: Santana has been given the opportunity to correct her past mistakes with Brittany, so she can’t help but take it. Love is in the air, but it is in the air for Brittany and Santana?
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Word Count: ~7000
Spoilers: 2x12 “Silly Love Songs”
Author’s Note: I wanted to get this chapter out before the episode, but I failed. LJ works poorly in Chrome.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 6.5 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14
Santana had her first dream in months; she dreamed of Brittany, of course. Up until now, she had been time-skipping the nights, but tonight she was remained lucid (relatively) during sleep. In fact, after the harrowing seventeen-day skip, she hadn’t skipped once during her waking hours. She was living in real time 24/7.
Santana’s new favorite hobby was glaring at Karofsky and giving him the I’m-watching-you gesture. He’d tripped over his feet the first few times she’d done it, and the new few times just looked perplexed, and now he just rolled his eyes at her. The glee club had followed her lead. Rachel cornered him every couple of days and delivered a long monologue about tolerance. Puck lunged at him threateningly every time they passed in the halls. Sam and Finn would discuss the upcoming championship game in loud voices in his presence. Mercedes got her passive-aggressiveness on and flat out told him things like, “I’m praying for you, Dave.”
* * *
I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin’ (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin’ Care
I’ll Take You There
Pretty Young Things, Repeat After Me
I Said Na Na Na, Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na, Na Na Na
I Said Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na
I’ll Take You There
Artie was singing Michael Jackson and Mike was dancing like it was the last time he would get the chance. The difference in the reactions of their respective serenade recipients was astounding: Tina bounced in her seat while clapping, screaming the na na’s with passion like the rest of the class; Brittany, on the other hand, just smiled politely, desperately trying to look excited. The girl wasn’t even dancing in her seat to the music; the girl who was Brittany. When Mike finally coaxed Tina out of her seat, Brittany reluctantly popped up behind her, giving Santana a gloomy look as she left her side. While Tina was all but hanging off Mike’s shoulders by the end of the song, Brittany just stood dutifully beside Artie’s chair, her hand on his shoulder, only kissing him on the cheek after Tina laid a much more passionate (and noisy) one on Mike’s.
After practice, Brittany gave Artie an excuse and chased her best friend as she walked out the door. “Santana! Can we talk?”
Santana put her hand around Brittany’s waist. “Sure, pretty young thang. You don’t seem happy for someone whose man just sung her a song.”
Brittany avoided eye contact, staring at her own wringing hands. “I don’t know if he’s going to be my man much longer,” she admitted.
Santana transferred her hand to Brittany’s shoulder. “Oh, Sweetie, I’m so sorry.” She gave her a brief sideways shoulder hug.
Brittany didn’t hug back. “Don’t lie, Santana. I know you want Artie and me to break up so that we can have our sexy-times back.”
Santana slid a finger through Brittany’s hair, pushing a tress behind her ear. “I want… whatever makes you happy. Artie’s very sweet to you,” Santana explained, even as the words felt traitorous and poisonous on her tongue. “If he makes you happy, I can be happy for you. Yay!” she cheered weakly. She waited for Brittany to say:
“But what… if he doesn’t… make me happy?”
Santana took Brittany’s hands in her own, stopping their progress down the hallway completely, and didn’t let her friend pull away. “Then I’m willing to do a whole hell lot better than him.”
Brittany bit her lip. “You said I should treat him right. Do you think that breaking up with him because he’s not right for me is treating him right?”
“Yes,” Santana replied insistently, while pressing her forehead against Brittany, “and I mean that completely without bias. But don’t trust me. I have a bad habit of making people treat their significant others badly.”
“Not lately.”
Santana rubbed Brittany’s back. “No, that’s true. But I have a history of it. So, I want you to ask other people in glee what you just asked me. They’ll all tell you you’re only hurting him by staying in an unhappy relationship, I promise.” She extended her pinky, which Brittany took with the opposite hand, and they continued like that the short distance to their lockers.
Unbeknownst to the girls, Artie had been following them, watching Santana shamelessly touch Brittany every chance she got. He was glowering.
* * *
Will was walking down the hallway when he spotted Holly walking toward him. He stumbled over his own feet trying to stop in time to address her. “Holly, what are you doing here? Are you subbing for Mrs. Pepino’s health classes?”
“I’m actually interviewing for her job. Her mother came down with monkey flu and it’s very serious. She’s taking a sabbatical until at least the end of the year.”
One week previous, Sue Sylvester was comforting Mrs. Pepino in her office, showing her a brochure for an assisted living facility. “My sister is living here and she’s very happy.”
Will reached out and touched Holly’s forearm. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this.”
“I was going to surprise you if I got the job. I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”
“Completely unnecessary. I’m convinced you’ll get it. When’s your interview?”
“It was supposed to be an hour ago, but Sue rescheduled it till tomorrow. I don’t think that’s a good sign.”
Will was dismissive. “Don’t sweat it. Sue’s always reading books like The Art of War; it’s probably just a mind game. You’ll be fine. And, hey, there’s glee practice today. You should come and watch. My kids are in total love song mode.”
“I think I will.”
For a moment, they awkward danced around each other, before deciding a quick peck on the lips was the best way to say good-bye.
* * *
Outside the choir room, Artie was angrily talking with Brittany. “I saw you with Santana. Please don’t lie to me, Brittany; are you cheating on me with her?”
“No! I’m not cheating on you, Artie. I can’t believe you’d say that! I’m a totally awesome serious-business girlfriend!”
“Brittany, you can’t deny you’re slipping away from me. Santana wants you and she may be trying to sabotage our relationship.”
“You know what? I miss her a lot, and I wish we go back to the way we used to be. But we’re not, because I don’t want to hurt you. Santana is the one who’s been telling me it would be wrong for us to have our lady-kisses or our lady-loving again. I’m doing the right thing for you because she told me to.”
“That speech is not reassuring, Brittany. It just makes me think you’re having an emotional affair with her.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you’re not actually doing anything physical with her, but you’re spending time with her, wishing you were dating her, sharing things with her that you won’t share with me. It means you’re treating her like you’re her girlfriend, like she’s closer to you than I am.”
“I’ve known Santana a long time. Of course we’re closer.”
“Brittany, if you’re going to break up with me, I want to know.”
“I would never break up with you on Valentine’s Day. That would make me like the worst girlfriend ever.”
Artie clenched his fists. “We’ve got glee. We’ll finish this conversation later.”
Already in her seat, Santana locked eyes with Brittany the moment she walked in the door. Artie had rolled in several seconds before her and Brittany was near tears. It was a bad sign for their relationship and a good sign for Santana. Yes, I know, I’m a bad person, but it’s not like I won’t be comforting her when they break up. Sexy-comforting her.
Artie positioned himself in the empty space between two chairs on the front row. Santana was in her usual spot two chairs over from Artie. He was watching the seat on the opposite side from Santana, but Brittany unsurprisingly took the chair between her boyfriend and best friend, pleasing him none too much.
When Mr. Schue asked if anyone had any Valentine’s song they wanted to sing, Puck raised his hand. “This is for a special lady of mine.”
Santana’s brow furrowed. There were no special guests in the room. Her mind went through the candidates: Quinn is still happily with Sam, right? She looked over and saw them sitting close together; Quinn’s face showed the same fears she did. Or maybe Rachel? He gets a Jew-boner for her every couple of months. Tina? Nah. Brittany? He wouldn’t do that to… well, maybe to Artie, but certainly not to me. Mercedes? I thought we’ve been through this. And I can’t have another sing-off against her; everyone will know it’s fake. Again. And he’s certainly not going after me.
Right?
“This is for my main girl, Santana. I love you, machorrita.” Santana regretted every introducing him to Urban Dictionary. He picked up his guitar and sang an upbeat rock song with the band:
Breaking my back just to know your name
Seventeen tracks and I’ve had it with this game
I’m breaking my back just to know your name
But heaven ain’t close in a place like this
Anything goes but don’t blink you might miss
‘Cause heaven ain’t close in a place like this
I said heaven ain’t close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I’d let a rumor ruin my moonlight
When Puck got to the chorus, Santana finally figured out the meaning behind his song choice. Relief flooded through her, and laughing, she joined him in song from her seat:
Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential
She playfully pointed to him with both hands during “boyfriend” and, with her thumbs, to Brittany and in Quinn’s general direction during “girlfriend”. She jumped up on the next verse to dance in a wide circle around Puck. She was joined by the other couples in the room, excluding Artie and Brittany, the latter who was content to sit in her seat pouting. Holly was dancing the most scandalously of all, trying to pry Will from his seat.
Ready? Let’s roll onto something new
Taking its toll and I’m leaving without you
I’m ready, let’s roll onto something new
‘Cause heaven ain’t close in a place like this
I said heaven ain’t close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I’d let a rumor ruin my moonlight
Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential
A-rushin’, a-rushin’ around
All her classmates, even Artie, but not Brittany, joined her in pointing at boys during “boyfriend” and at girls during “girlfriend.” At the end of the song, with an ear-to-end grin on her face, Santana walked up and hugged Puck. “Best lesbro ever,” she whispered in his ear.
The celebration was interrupted by a knock at the door, where Dr. Carl walked in with Miss Pillsbury on one hand and a guitar case in the other. Mr. Schue immediately stiffened.
“Carl, what can I do for you?”
“Look, Will, I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but… I heard that your kids were doing love songs this week. I don’t suppose you’d mind letting me borrow a few minutes, and the band, to sing something to my fiancée?”
Mr. Schue frowned for a minute, his eyes wandering to Holly, who was studying him neutrally with a strong poker face. He turned back to Dr. Carl and plastered on a fake grin. “Carl, that sounds like a very romantic gesture. Emma totally deserves something like that. Consider the floor yours,” he stated with a welcoming flourish.
The dentist pulled out his guitar and started crooning in a very 50s slow rock style:
Wise men said, “Only fools rush in”
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can’t help falling in love with you
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand
Take my whole life, too
For I can’t help falling in love with you
Emma spent the entire song completely enthralled by her fiancé’s song. The entire glee club swayed along, several of them pulling out their phones and swinging them like lighters. Will spent the entire song stony-faced. After the second verse, he slipped his hand into Holly’s. “They look happy, in love,” he whispered.
“They do,” she replied evenly.
“I know you’re a little uneasy about serious relationships, but…”
Her eyes locked on Carl and Emma, she stated, “It seems nice.”
During the final chords of the song, Emma ran up and kissed Carl on the mouth, causing Will to avert his eyes. She whispered to him, “Carl, that was wonderful. Hey, maybe tonight’s the night I… stay over so we can… get ‘all shook up’?”
“That’d be great, M&M. I love you.”
“Love you, too, Carl.”
Will shot up from his seat and told the glee club, without taking a breath, “Well, I think that about wraps up the day. If you’re still waiting to do a song, don’t worry, we’ve got the rest of the week.”
Santana caught up with Puck on her way out. “So, you want a PFLAG pamphlet? My parents got to meetings monthly.”
“No thanks. I think I’m supporting my main girl just fine.”
“Agreed. Speaking of which, if you have to resort to singing to me on Valentine’s Day, you really need to get laid.”
“I gotta admit without you on call, I am going through a bit of a dry spell. I was getting serious tail at this apartment complex as their pool cleaner, but the owner caught me and now I’ve been replaced by some schlubby guy.”
“You know what? I owe you a favor. I’ll find you a hookup.”
* * *
Project Hookup got off to a slow start. It seemed Puck had been very industrious at the beginning of the year and most of the Cheerios had already been to Puckertown. Just my luck that I have to be creative when finding Puck someone to seduce.
‘I owe the girl a favor’ was Santana’s apparent excuse while examining Genevieve McLaire. The girl was fit and had a pretty face; though she was a little eccentric in style, and quite petite, but none of that stopped Puck from trying his luck with Rachel.
“Hi,” Santana began, too upbeat for her to recognize her own voice, as she leaned against the locker.
Genevieve replied unsurely, “Greetings. Are you going to steal something from me again?”
“Just your heart.”
“Yeah, I’m waiting for college.”
“To… date?”
Matter-of-factly, the thespian replied, “To try out women. That’s how LUGs work, right? Lesbian until graduation? I thought those were the rules.”
“No, I’m not asking on my own behalf. I’m trying to set you up with Noah Puckerman.”
“Hmm, I’m not familiar with this play.”
“Play?”
“We’re all just actors in the play of life.”
“No, this is real life.”
“Bertolt Brecht would disagree.”
Santana didn’t realize that talking to this chick would require Wikipedia access. “Fine, this is a play. So, do you want to meet him so we can get to the next… act?”
“No. He’s definitely a character based on Lothario and in the tradition of epic theater, I’m going to behave in a genre-savvy way.”
“I’m not following you, like at all. I’m just asking for you to let him pursue you for a while. If you give it up, hey, that’s your prerogative, but I must say the boy’s very talented. If you know what I mean?”
“I do, but aren’t you a lesbian?”
“And that makes me incapable of judging these things?”
“A little. You know what they say, ‘Don’t judge and be not judged.’”
Talking to this girl was going to give her an aneurysm. “That’s… tangential.” She muttered to herself, “I was so much better at this with Mr. Schue and Ms. Holliday.”
Genevieve gasped and put a hand to her breast. In a scandalized stage-whisper, she exclaimed, “They’re having an affair? Ooh, plot twist!”
“It’s not an affair.”
“Is that why he left his wife?”
“He left his ex-wife ‘cause she was a crazy-ass person who faked a pregnancy and he was into Miss Pillsbury.”
“So, it was an affair. Love triangle!”
“Enough with the affairs, Squeaky Toy.”
Genevieve continued through the imaginary script in her head. “I thought Miss Pillsbury was engaged to my dentist.”
“Was there an announcement about that?”
“Miss P Facebook-friends all the students.”
“Yeah, that’s weird. Last chance: you want to be half of Puckevieve?”
Genevieve politely accused, “No, I’m pretty sure this is a trick. You’re setting me up. You tend to attack girls who go out with Puck.”
“That is true, but I’m not going to do that.”
Genevieve spoke purposefully. “I don’t believe you.”
“Why not? I have no reason to lie to you.”
Genevieve’s character switched again to that of a lawyer. “False. I have no reason to lie to me, so I tend to trust my instincts. My instincts tell me you’re trying to put me in a place where you have motive to attack me.”
“Your instincts are wrong, you fairyland elf. Are you in or out?”
“I just explained why my gut is never wrong, so I’m out. And not in the LUGgy way. I told you, I’m waiting for college.” With this she walked off with one arm dramatically flung in the air.
“The theater drives you batty. At least there’s an excuse for Berry.”
During the next break between classes, Santana was eyeing all the female students in the hallway. Needs serious dental work… must smear grease on her face every morning… biologically one quarter equine… definite part Cuban; can’t be trusted… definitely born male… will definitely be male by the time she’s thirty…
She finally noticed an attractive enough figure under a head of dirty blond hair. She placed herself against the locker.
“Hi, you must be new here.”
The girl turned to Santana. “Sort of. I moved from Utah last summer, but I’ve been here all year.”
Santana wasn’t listening, instead examining her prey. Ooh, Puck can work with a face like that. “Anyway, Santana Lopez, nice to meet you.”
“Likewise. I’ve heard of you.”
“The lesbian thing?”
“Yes, mostly.”
“Great. And you are…?” Ugh, how do people do this… polite conversation thing?
She extended her hand. “Faith Jennings. Might I ask what this is about?”
“Are you familiar with Noah Puckerman?”
“By reputation. He’s on the football team and the glee club. He got a cheerleader pregnant last year, right?”
Crap. “Right!” Santana agreed, over-smiling, “She’s totally over that. Her name’s Quinn Fabray. We’re friends. We’re like this.” She displayed her fingers crossed. “‘Cept totally not in the lesbian way. She’s straight. So is he, by the way.”
“Are you trying to set me up?”
“How am I doing?”
“Not great. Yeah, I’ve heard he’s kind of a womanizer. And he goes by ‘Puck’ apparently, and I’m almost not comfortable saying that because it’s pretty close a curse word.”
“Utah,” Santana recounted, “You’re Mormon, aren’t you?” Santana’s eyes landed on the cross necklace around her neck and the Bible verse taped to her locker door.
“No, Methodist actually. Knew a lot of them, though.”
“It is because Puck’s Jewish?”
“I wasn’t aware, actually. And, to be honest, that might be the reason I wouldn’t marry him, but I’m gonna refuse you’re offer because he’s not really my type. And, to be frank, I know that this is a trick. He’s your ex and you go after every girl he dates and you’re looking for new meat.”
“That’s not true.”
“Really, ‘cause that weird theater chick was pretty convinced that it was. She said she caught you in some sort of lie.” Santana grit her teeth. “Look, I’ve got to get to chemistry. It was very nice meeting you, Santana.” She circled Santana cautiously and jogged away.
Santana grumbled and briefly considered setting fire to something. I used to run this school and now look what I’m reduced to. Faith had left her locker open, so Santana slammed it shut a little harder than what was necessary.
* *
In the faculty lounge, Will was eating in lunch with Holly.
“Do you always eat your cookies before the rest of your lunch?” Holly asked.
Will laughed. “It’s a bad habit I got into as a kid. I thought I was such a rebel because I always ate my dessert first.”
“Hey, you don’t have to justify it to me, Sinatra. I’m quite in the habit of having dessert before the meal.” Her eyes twinkled and Will almost choked on his food.
He took her hand. “How are you enjoying the ‘meal’, though?”
“I like it,” she admitted, “Doesn’t mean I can’t wait for dessert…”
Will ignored that, looking at his watch. “When did Sue schedule your interview today?”
“One o’clock, but she cancelled again. Do you think I’m not getting the hint?”
“Sue’s pretty straightforward. If she didn’t want you, she’d definitely make a list of your flaws.”
“And what flaws would those be?”
“No comment.”
“Ooh, you formerly married men have got it figured out. I’m used to clueless bachelors.” Holly’s eyes then fell upon Emma Pillsbury, who was eating her lunch alone at another table. “Will, does Emma looks more traumatized than usual?” Will looked up; Emma was unusually fidgety. She was double-wiping her grapes and flinching at every sound and at every passing teacher. When she noticed Will and Holly looking at her, she got up from her seat and power-walked out of the room.
“Maybe I should talk to her,” Will said, “I hope you don’t think it has anything to do with my feelings for her.”
“No, you always do the right thing. It’s kind of sexy.” Holly nervously fiddled with her peanut butter-covered celery, which confused Will, since Holly never did anything nervously. She finally asked, “I was thinking, maybe I ought to sing you a song in glee this afternoon. I’ve been working on something.” With that, her un-Holly-like nervousness shifted back to her very Holly-like sultriness.
“I’m not going to regret this, am I?”
“Don’t you trust me, cowboy?”
“It’s still too early to tell.”
* * *
Santana’s next prospect was a fellow member of the track team. All Santana really knew about her was that she was a British exchange student, her last name was Phillips, and her first name was something bizarre like “Xena.”
“Xena, is it?” Santana asked as she jogged along the dark-skinned girl.
“Zira,” she was corrected.
“It’s pretty.”
“I’m not gay. It’s just my accent. I’m from London.”
“Yeah, already got my eye on another girl, but thanks. No, I’m trying to set you up with my friend Noah Puckerman. He’s on the football team?”
“I know of him. But, sorry, I don’t date white boys, plus if he turned you lezzie…”
“A girl turned me lezzie. Or I was born this way. It's not important.”
“Regardless, I know the score. This is some trick to get into a tussle, innit?”
“Seriously, how did it spread so fast?” Santana was tired of rejection, so she threw in the towel, “Toodles.”
“That’s not a thing,” Zira called after Santana, who had run off.
So, at the end of the day, Santana found herself scarring her eyes by looking upon the stout form of Lauren Zizes, eating bite-size Butterfingers bars two at a time in the deserted A/V room.
“Zizes, can we have a chat?”
“What do you want, Taco Combo?”
“Actually, the question is what do you want, or more specifically, who. Noah Puckerman. You interested?”
“Of course I’m interested. Puckerman’s a total hottie. But you honestly think he’d go for me? I’ve had breakfasts that weight more than some of his flings.” She looked Santana up and now as if she were some kind of beetle. “Not to mention I’ve heard what this is. It’s a setup. You’re trying to set up your ex-flame with a girl so you have someone to take out your gay rage on.”
Santana clenched her teeth. “I’ve got to kill that rumor.” She redirected her attention back to Zizes, “I’m not saying I could or couldn’t takes you down, but I shall say that I don’t wants to find out. Puck’s eager; you might have a shot.”
Zizes now looked at her as if considering her to a beetle would be a step up. “If this is some sort of setup to humiliate me, I will use you as a bowling ball to destroy my archnemesis on the roleplaying club.”
“Duly noted, Lauren.”
“Call me Zizes. No one calls me Lauren.”
On her way to glee, Santana noticed Mr. Horn’s entire room was filled with Cheerios. Classes had ended. She was caught staring by Coach Delmonico, who asked her heatedly, “Is it some kind of vendetta against Sue? I had to cancel practice because my entire squad got afterschool detention because of you.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“So, who told Principal Sylvester that my Cheerios were planning on some silly prank?”
“I really don’t know. Look, I got to go. I have…”
“Glee?”
“Yeah.” She didn’t wait around to watch her get pissy or weepy or whatever she was going to do.
* * *
“So, Finn has asked to go first today. I believe he has a song for Rachel,” Mr. Schue announced.
Finn got up from his seat beside Rachel, but instead of going to the front, he placed himself behind Rachel’s chair and pushed it across the floor, spinning her to face the crowd. Rachel squealed with delight, her hands squeezing the sides of her seat. “Ready?” he asked.
“Ready.”
Brad and the band played a soft rock-pop ballad and Finn sung to Rachel, circling her slowly. She smiled wide and danced in her seat.
Forgetting all I’m lacking
Completely incomplete
I’ll take your invitation
You take all of me now
I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you
I’m living for the only thing I know
I’m running and not quite sure where to go
And I don’t know what I’m diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
There’s nothing else to lose
There’s nothing else to find
There’s nothing in the world
That can change my mind
I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you
There was applause, even by Santana, who swore to herself that she did not smile at the cotton candy sweetness that was Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry. When Finn leaned his gargantuan body over to kiss the miniscule speck that constituted his girlfriend, she finally found reason to shift her eyes away.
There was a knock on the door and all eyes turned to where Holly Holliday was leaning against the door frame, giving Will a heated look. “So, Mr. Schuester, I’ve got a song to sing. Do I need to raise my hand?”
Will’s cheeks flushed. “Everyone, do you think we could squeeze Ms. Holliday?” After a second he added, “…in? Do you think we could squeeze her in?”
“Absolutely,” Santana growled. Beside her, Brittany bit her lips in a wide grin, nudging Santana’s shoulder. Artie scowled at this.
“So, this is for my boyfriend.” She slipped off her jacket and tossed it onto the piano, where Brad didn’t so much frown as shift his eyebrows with the slightest bit of disapproval. Underneath, she was wearing a very pastel ensemble consisting of a white button-up shirt and a cream-colored pants. “Hit it!”
Expectations were underwhelmed when a slow, pop melody began, the slightest hint of a country tinge from the guitar. There was a long intro, during which Holly sat in a chair just swaying, her hands trailing innocently across her sides and through her hair. Finally, she stood up and began to sing softly:
I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I’ve
Never been this swept away
She wandered over to the band.
All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze
When I’m lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away
The only thing I hear
Is the beating of your heart
She circled around and leaned against the piano, locking her eyes and belting her voice:
‘Cause I can feel you breathe
It’s washing over me
Suddenly I’m melting into you
There’s nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn’t that the way that love’s supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Her voice had decrescendo’d to a whisper again, but leapt up onto the piano for to belt on more line:
Just breathe
She continued the song while seated on the piano, rolling around on it. Will was struggling between being moved and mortified. After another tortuously long verse, bridge, and repeat of the chorus, the song finally came to a close.
I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
The two teachers’ eyes locked but they were interrupted by clapping at the door. Principal Sylvester was watching keenly, applauding half-sarcastically. “Well, isn’t that what I like to see: our school’s expensive instruments used as a bed.”
Will groaned. “Sue, can we help you with something?”
“Just wanted to make sure Ms. Holliday was on time for her job audition.”
“Now?” She scrambled off the piano, digging through her purse. “I think I’ve got my résumé right here. Are we going to your office?”
Sue explained pointedly, “The interview was five minutes ago. Let me just say I was very impressed. I was concerned about your mediocre teaching credentials. I hold my educators to a very high standard. Schuester, for example, would never pass my litmus test. But your musical talent does make you an optimal fit for the glee co-director position. Should you be willing to do both that and the health position, understanding obviously that the first is an unpaid position, I think I can make an exception.”
“Will, do you mind sharing the job?”
“Not at all, Holly. The kids love you.” To show their support, the club cheered loudly.
Sue loudly cleared her throat. “That’ll be enough. The sound of cheering just makes me depressed that the Cheerios are utter failures.” She took an exaggerated self-comforting breath and turned back to Holly, telling her without an ounce of joy, “Well, Ms. Holliday, welcome to McKinley.” She snapped her finger to the side and Becky raced in carrying a McKinley High folder and a set of keys. Holly held out her hand but Becky passed it to Sue, who passed to Holly. “Inside you’ll find your teaching certificate…”
“I was wondering when I was going to get that. I thought they were going to send it to me in the mail.”
“Oh, I’ve been having Coach Delmonico go through your mail for the past three weeks.”
“I think she stole my Victoria’s Secret catalog.”
“Probably. Anyway, you’ll also find all your salary and benefits information. Actually, go ahead and look at that. I was to see the disillusionment in your eyes.” Holly complied and her face did fill with discontent. “Those are the keys to your classroom. Did I miss anything?”
Holly flipped through the folder. “There’s a dress code memo in here.”
“Yes, I took the privilege of laminating that for you. Read it carefully. On the back should be another memo about fraternization between faculty members. Welcome to the team. And by team, I mean ‘my labor force.’” She suddenly turned to Santana. “Have a nice video-free day, Wobbles?”
“Yeah,” Santana answered, confused.
“Then where’s my thank-you?”
“I…”
“Kids these days. So inconsiderate. You’re welcome, Carmella.” With that, she left, Becky in her wake.
Will hopped up and put his hand on his girlfriend’s shoulder. “Can we give Ms. Holliday a round of applause welcoming her to New Directions?” The kids clapped, whooped, and cheered loudly.
Santana screamed out, “Kiss her!” She got a stern look from Will, so she added, “Or not. It’s probably inappropriate.”
“According to this, it is. Though some of these stipulations are completely unnecessary. She must have made them up.”
“Only the last one.”
* * *
As Puck and Santana walked into Breadstix, Puck was rubbing his hands together as his eyes scanned the room predatorily. Santana’s were, too, but she was eyeing the canister on the table holding the crispy breadsticks she loved. Puck interrupted her salivating moment to ask her, “So, you ready to show me what foxy mama I’ll be taking home tonight?”
Santana mumbled a reply, “Not really.”
“Huh?”
She turned to him. “So, preface: Apparently, I’m kind of scary, and there’s a rumor going around school that I’m setting up girls with you for the sole purpose of starting fights with them.”
“I can see that.”
“I can cancel your date right here and now. So, anyway, the only way I was going to discredit this rumor was to set you up with the one girl in school who isn’t afraid of me.” She tilted her head toward a particular table across the aisle from them.
“Zizes? Seriously, Lopez. You’re chasing Brittany and I’m getting Paul Bunyan?”
“Think of it as a bike with training wheels. You charm her; you get your game back in top shape; all the girls in school see that I won’t go all Fatal Attraction on them. Suddenly, the Puckster is fending them off with a stick.”
“Fine. Can’t be too hard, right?” He walked over to the table where Lauren was waiting.
Lauren looked up. “Have a seat, Puckerman. I’ve already ordered two appetizers and an all-you-can-eat family style bowl of fettuccini Alfredo. When the waiter comes back, you can order something for yourself. I see you didn’t bring me chocolates. You’re not off to a great start.”
“I could get you some dessert. The chocolate molten cake here is kickass. Unless there’s some other dessert you have in mind?” He waggled his eyebrows.
Lauren looked unimpressed. “Yeah, I already got one ordered. But now that you mention it, I would like a slice of cheesecake.” She snapped her fingers, calling out, “Garçon!”
Back at Santana’s table, Kurt, in his Dalton uniform, greeted her, “Zorra!”
“Nene!” Santana screamed back, hugging Kurt. “I’ve missed you so much. Tell me, how is Dalton?”
“Oh, fabulous. Honestly, it’s amazing what you can pay for when you have… money.”
“And, better question: how does it go with Blim?”
“Blaine, and I know you know that. Er, could be better. Seems he had a bit of thing for someone who wasn’t yours truly.”
“Oh, pobrecito, no. Do you need me to hate him? ‘Cause hating people’s like second nature to me. Wait, it is a him?”
“It was. And thanks, but no thanks on the loathing vibes.” He twisted his lip in a mock-sad manner which quickly devolved into a grin, “Blaine struck out big time. It was some Gap employee with Princess Bride hair.”
“Westley or Buttercup?”
“Split the difference. Also, he was like 20. But… silver lining: Blaine’s a total romantic.” He looked around. “Look, I don’t mean to push, but… Karofsky?”
“He’s getting the loathing vibes pretty hard. I don’t know what the magic gesture is that means it’s safe for you to come back-coming out, apologizing publicly-but whatever it is, it hasn’t happened yet. Sorry.”
“It’s a tricky situation. I’m not expecting a miracle. But onto happier topics. How goes it with your lady love?”
“I’m so close… I’d don’t mean to be crude, but Artie’s just not satisfying Brittany where it counts. She’s probably already broken up with him.”
“Might want to revisit that theory.”
Brittany walked in, pushing Artie in his wheelchair. She waved at Santana. She exchanged a few words with Artie, which became heated immediately and she stomped off, plopping herself down in a chair beside Santana, which she stayed in for exactly one nanosecond before leaping up, hugging Kurt until he could hardly breathe. They exchanged brief pleasantries before Kurt excused himself and Brittany sat herself down.
“Hey, Britts, you and Artie still going strong?” Santana asked sarcastically. “Someone tell you to stick it out?”
“No,” Brittany admitted, “I asked everyone in glee and they told me the same thing that you did: break up with him.” Santana waited. “It’s just hard. He wants to work it out really bad.”
“Well, it looks like you two are working it out really bad.”
Brittany slid her hand across the table and took Santana’s hand, keeping her eyes focused on the connection and not Santana’s searching eyes. “How are you and Puck?” she asked, pulling her hand away.
The question struck Santana strangely. “We’re good. He’s on a blind date with a planetoid that I set him up with.”
Brittany noticed where Puck and Zizes were sitting. “Oh, I thought you two…”
“…were dating? Please, Brittany, did you miss the memo about me only being into girls now?”
“I thought maybe his song had made you less gay. Or you were hiding in the wardrobe again. I heard you were scaring off girls from him all day.”
“I was trying to give him the hookup. Puckerman’s my lesbro. He has zero chance with me…” Her eyes found the couple of discussion: Lauren looked bored; Puck looked desperate. “…and from the looks of it, has even less of a chance with her.” She looked back, “By the way, do you know anything about why the Cheerios all got punished because of me?”
Brittany guiltily confessed, “That was my fault. They were going to stuff a bunch of pornos in your locker, so I told Ms. Sylvester. I didn’t think she’d help me after I left the Cheerios, but she has a robin in her nest about being mean to gay people because of Kurt, so she gave them all detention.”
“So, you’re telling me you confronted Sue Sylvester to save me from getting bullied? Why must you be perfect in every way?” She dragged Brittany into a tight hug.
Brittany bowed her head. “I gotta go.”
“Back to Artie?”
“I need to talk to him about… something.”
The Warblers had assembled on the makeshift stage, so Santana just nodded to Brittany, letting her go. After Kurt’s shy introduction, the Warblers began their song while swaying in place, but Blaine wasted no time walking into the crowd as he started his solo, his compatriots following in his footsteps.
You’d think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.
But I look around me and I see it isn’t so.
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs
And what’s wrong with that?
I’d like to know, ‘cause here I go again
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you
Brittany was seated on the inside chair next to Artie, allowing her to look over at where Santana was sitting alone, mouthing the words. Brittany found herself doing the same.
I can’t explain the feelings plain to me, say can’t you see?
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me
Now can’t you see,
What’s wrong with that
I need to know, cause here I go again
I love you, I love you
He took a seat at Puck and Lauren’s table, screaming: Love doesn’t come in a minute. Lauren shrugged in tacit agreement.
He leapt over to Santana’s table, leaning on his elbows, telling her: Sometimes it doesn’t come at all. She grinned sheepishly, raised her arm bent at the elbow, and gripped her bicep.
I only know that when I’m in it
It isn’t silly, no, it isn’t silly, love isn’t silly at all
He spun around the divider where seated in two adjacent booths were the snuggling couples: Tina and Mike with Sam and Quinn at one booth, and Rachel and Finn across from Mercedes in the other.
Blaine raced back to the stage to sing with Kurt. If Santana didn’t know any better, she’d think he was flirting with him. Kurt was certainly sending bedroom eyes back.
As the song had reached the final ad-lib portion, a couple of Warblers tried to flirt with her. She smiled at them, making a thoughtful face with her hand on her chin, her thumb and index finger in an L-shape. Artie was looking darkly at the tablecloth. Brittany was glaring at the Asian Warbler who’d just tried to sit in Santana’s lap.
I love you, I love you
Kurt leaned over on the booth, receiving a kiss on each cheek from Rachel and Mercedes, and a fist bump from Finn before he pranced off.
I can’t explain the feeling’s plain to me, so can’t you see?
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me, now can’t you see
Santana’s eyes naturally drew back to Artie and Brittany’s table. Artie was gone and Brittany was seated alone. Santana raised her hand in a wave, which caught Brittany’s eye. She waved back, but then turned her eyes to the untouched bowl of spaghetti and meatballs, leaning down and resting her head against the table and drawing a shape with her hand. It appeared to be a heart.
Author’s Note: Here are the songs from this chapter:
Chapter 16: Baby, Come Back
Author: creedogv
Rating: T
Summary: Santana has been given the opportunity to correct her past mistakes with Brittany, so she can’t help but take it. Love is in the air, but it is in the air for Brittany and Santana?
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Word Count: ~7000
Spoilers: 2x12 “Silly Love Songs”
Author’s Note: I wanted to get this chapter out before the episode, but I failed. LJ works poorly in Chrome.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 6.5 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14
Santana had her first dream in months; she dreamed of Brittany, of course. Up until now, she had been time-skipping the nights, but tonight she was remained lucid (relatively) during sleep. In fact, after the harrowing seventeen-day skip, she hadn’t skipped once during her waking hours. She was living in real time 24/7.
Santana’s new favorite hobby was glaring at Karofsky and giving him the I’m-watching-you gesture. He’d tripped over his feet the first few times she’d done it, and the new few times just looked perplexed, and now he just rolled his eyes at her. The glee club had followed her lead. Rachel cornered him every couple of days and delivered a long monologue about tolerance. Puck lunged at him threateningly every time they passed in the halls. Sam and Finn would discuss the upcoming championship game in loud voices in his presence. Mercedes got her passive-aggressiveness on and flat out told him things like, “I’m praying for you, Dave.”
* * *
I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin’ (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin’ Care
I’ll Take You There
Pretty Young Things, Repeat After Me
I Said Na Na Na, Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na, Na Na Na
I Said Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na
I’ll Take You There
Artie was singing Michael Jackson and Mike was dancing like it was the last time he would get the chance. The difference in the reactions of their respective serenade recipients was astounding: Tina bounced in her seat while clapping, screaming the na na’s with passion like the rest of the class; Brittany, on the other hand, just smiled politely, desperately trying to look excited. The girl wasn’t even dancing in her seat to the music; the girl who was Brittany. When Mike finally coaxed Tina out of her seat, Brittany reluctantly popped up behind her, giving Santana a gloomy look as she left her side. While Tina was all but hanging off Mike’s shoulders by the end of the song, Brittany just stood dutifully beside Artie’s chair, her hand on his shoulder, only kissing him on the cheek after Tina laid a much more passionate (and noisy) one on Mike’s.
After practice, Brittany gave Artie an excuse and chased her best friend as she walked out the door. “Santana! Can we talk?”
Santana put her hand around Brittany’s waist. “Sure, pretty young thang. You don’t seem happy for someone whose man just sung her a song.”
Brittany avoided eye contact, staring at her own wringing hands. “I don’t know if he’s going to be my man much longer,” she admitted.
Santana transferred her hand to Brittany’s shoulder. “Oh, Sweetie, I’m so sorry.” She gave her a brief sideways shoulder hug.
Brittany didn’t hug back. “Don’t lie, Santana. I know you want Artie and me to break up so that we can have our sexy-times back.”
Santana slid a finger through Brittany’s hair, pushing a tress behind her ear. “I want… whatever makes you happy. Artie’s very sweet to you,” Santana explained, even as the words felt traitorous and poisonous on her tongue. “If he makes you happy, I can be happy for you. Yay!” she cheered weakly. She waited for Brittany to say:
“But what… if he doesn’t… make me happy?”
Santana took Brittany’s hands in her own, stopping their progress down the hallway completely, and didn’t let her friend pull away. “Then I’m willing to do a whole hell lot better than him.”
Brittany bit her lip. “You said I should treat him right. Do you think that breaking up with him because he’s not right for me is treating him right?”
“Yes,” Santana replied insistently, while pressing her forehead against Brittany, “and I mean that completely without bias. But don’t trust me. I have a bad habit of making people treat their significant others badly.”
“Not lately.”
Santana rubbed Brittany’s back. “No, that’s true. But I have a history of it. So, I want you to ask other people in glee what you just asked me. They’ll all tell you you’re only hurting him by staying in an unhappy relationship, I promise.” She extended her pinky, which Brittany took with the opposite hand, and they continued like that the short distance to their lockers.
Unbeknownst to the girls, Artie had been following them, watching Santana shamelessly touch Brittany every chance she got. He was glowering.
* * *
Will was walking down the hallway when he spotted Holly walking toward him. He stumbled over his own feet trying to stop in time to address her. “Holly, what are you doing here? Are you subbing for Mrs. Pepino’s health classes?”
“I’m actually interviewing for her job. Her mother came down with monkey flu and it’s very serious. She’s taking a sabbatical until at least the end of the year.”
One week previous, Sue Sylvester was comforting Mrs. Pepino in her office, showing her a brochure for an assisted living facility. “My sister is living here and she’s very happy.”
Will reached out and touched Holly’s forearm. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this.”
“I was going to surprise you if I got the job. I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”
“Completely unnecessary. I’m convinced you’ll get it. When’s your interview?”
“It was supposed to be an hour ago, but Sue rescheduled it till tomorrow. I don’t think that’s a good sign.”
Will was dismissive. “Don’t sweat it. Sue’s always reading books like The Art of War; it’s probably just a mind game. You’ll be fine. And, hey, there’s glee practice today. You should come and watch. My kids are in total love song mode.”
“I think I will.”
For a moment, they awkward danced around each other, before deciding a quick peck on the lips was the best way to say good-bye.
* * *
Outside the choir room, Artie was angrily talking with Brittany. “I saw you with Santana. Please don’t lie to me, Brittany; are you cheating on me with her?”
“No! I’m not cheating on you, Artie. I can’t believe you’d say that! I’m a totally awesome serious-business girlfriend!”
“Brittany, you can’t deny you’re slipping away from me. Santana wants you and she may be trying to sabotage our relationship.”
“You know what? I miss her a lot, and I wish we go back to the way we used to be. But we’re not, because I don’t want to hurt you. Santana is the one who’s been telling me it would be wrong for us to have our lady-kisses or our lady-loving again. I’m doing the right thing for you because she told me to.”
“That speech is not reassuring, Brittany. It just makes me think you’re having an emotional affair with her.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you’re not actually doing anything physical with her, but you’re spending time with her, wishing you were dating her, sharing things with her that you won’t share with me. It means you’re treating her like you’re her girlfriend, like she’s closer to you than I am.”
“I’ve known Santana a long time. Of course we’re closer.”
“Brittany, if you’re going to break up with me, I want to know.”
“I would never break up with you on Valentine’s Day. That would make me like the worst girlfriend ever.”
Artie clenched his fists. “We’ve got glee. We’ll finish this conversation later.”
Already in her seat, Santana locked eyes with Brittany the moment she walked in the door. Artie had rolled in several seconds before her and Brittany was near tears. It was a bad sign for their relationship and a good sign for Santana. Yes, I know, I’m a bad person, but it’s not like I won’t be comforting her when they break up. Sexy-comforting her.
Artie positioned himself in the empty space between two chairs on the front row. Santana was in her usual spot two chairs over from Artie. He was watching the seat on the opposite side from Santana, but Brittany unsurprisingly took the chair between her boyfriend and best friend, pleasing him none too much.
When Mr. Schue asked if anyone had any Valentine’s song they wanted to sing, Puck raised his hand. “This is for a special lady of mine.”
Santana’s brow furrowed. There were no special guests in the room. Her mind went through the candidates: Quinn is still happily with Sam, right? She looked over and saw them sitting close together; Quinn’s face showed the same fears she did. Or maybe Rachel? He gets a Jew-boner for her every couple of months. Tina? Nah. Brittany? He wouldn’t do that to… well, maybe to Artie, but certainly not to me. Mercedes? I thought we’ve been through this. And I can’t have another sing-off against her; everyone will know it’s fake. Again. And he’s certainly not going after me.
Right?
“This is for my main girl, Santana. I love you, machorrita.” Santana regretted every introducing him to Urban Dictionary. He picked up his guitar and sang an upbeat rock song with the band:
Breaking my back just to know your name
Seventeen tracks and I’ve had it with this game
I’m breaking my back just to know your name
But heaven ain’t close in a place like this
Anything goes but don’t blink you might miss
‘Cause heaven ain’t close in a place like this
I said heaven ain’t close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I’d let a rumor ruin my moonlight
When Puck got to the chorus, Santana finally figured out the meaning behind his song choice. Relief flooded through her, and laughing, she joined him in song from her seat:
Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential
She playfully pointed to him with both hands during “boyfriend” and, with her thumbs, to Brittany and in Quinn’s general direction during “girlfriend”. She jumped up on the next verse to dance in a wide circle around Puck. She was joined by the other couples in the room, excluding Artie and Brittany, the latter who was content to sit in her seat pouting. Holly was dancing the most scandalously of all, trying to pry Will from his seat.
Ready? Let’s roll onto something new
Taking its toll and I’m leaving without you
I’m ready, let’s roll onto something new
‘Cause heaven ain’t close in a place like this
I said heaven ain’t close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I’d let a rumor ruin my moonlight
Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential
A-rushin’, a-rushin’ around
All her classmates, even Artie, but not Brittany, joined her in pointing at boys during “boyfriend” and at girls during “girlfriend.” At the end of the song, with an ear-to-end grin on her face, Santana walked up and hugged Puck. “Best lesbro ever,” she whispered in his ear.
The celebration was interrupted by a knock at the door, where Dr. Carl walked in with Miss Pillsbury on one hand and a guitar case in the other. Mr. Schue immediately stiffened.
“Carl, what can I do for you?”
“Look, Will, I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but… I heard that your kids were doing love songs this week. I don’t suppose you’d mind letting me borrow a few minutes, and the band, to sing something to my fiancée?”
Mr. Schue frowned for a minute, his eyes wandering to Holly, who was studying him neutrally with a strong poker face. He turned back to Dr. Carl and plastered on a fake grin. “Carl, that sounds like a very romantic gesture. Emma totally deserves something like that. Consider the floor yours,” he stated with a welcoming flourish.
The dentist pulled out his guitar and started crooning in a very 50s slow rock style:
Wise men said, “Only fools rush in”
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can’t help falling in love with you
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand
Take my whole life, too
For I can’t help falling in love with you
Emma spent the entire song completely enthralled by her fiancé’s song. The entire glee club swayed along, several of them pulling out their phones and swinging them like lighters. Will spent the entire song stony-faced. After the second verse, he slipped his hand into Holly’s. “They look happy, in love,” he whispered.
“They do,” she replied evenly.
“I know you’re a little uneasy about serious relationships, but…”
Her eyes locked on Carl and Emma, she stated, “It seems nice.”
During the final chords of the song, Emma ran up and kissed Carl on the mouth, causing Will to avert his eyes. She whispered to him, “Carl, that was wonderful. Hey, maybe tonight’s the night I… stay over so we can… get ‘all shook up’?”
“That’d be great, M&M. I love you.”
“Love you, too, Carl.”
Will shot up from his seat and told the glee club, without taking a breath, “Well, I think that about wraps up the day. If you’re still waiting to do a song, don’t worry, we’ve got the rest of the week.”
Santana caught up with Puck on her way out. “So, you want a PFLAG pamphlet? My parents got to meetings monthly.”
“No thanks. I think I’m supporting my main girl just fine.”
“Agreed. Speaking of which, if you have to resort to singing to me on Valentine’s Day, you really need to get laid.”
“I gotta admit without you on call, I am going through a bit of a dry spell. I was getting serious tail at this apartment complex as their pool cleaner, but the owner caught me and now I’ve been replaced by some schlubby guy.”
“You know what? I owe you a favor. I’ll find you a hookup.”
* * *
Project Hookup got off to a slow start. It seemed Puck had been very industrious at the beginning of the year and most of the Cheerios had already been to Puckertown. Just my luck that I have to be creative when finding Puck someone to seduce.
‘I owe the girl a favor’ was Santana’s apparent excuse while examining Genevieve McLaire. The girl was fit and had a pretty face; though she was a little eccentric in style, and quite petite, but none of that stopped Puck from trying his luck with Rachel.
“Hi,” Santana began, too upbeat for her to recognize her own voice, as she leaned against the locker.
Genevieve replied unsurely, “Greetings. Are you going to steal something from me again?”
“Just your heart.”
“Yeah, I’m waiting for college.”
“To… date?”
Matter-of-factly, the thespian replied, “To try out women. That’s how LUGs work, right? Lesbian until graduation? I thought those were the rules.”
“No, I’m not asking on my own behalf. I’m trying to set you up with Noah Puckerman.”
“Hmm, I’m not familiar with this play.”
“Play?”
“We’re all just actors in the play of life.”
“No, this is real life.”
“Bertolt Brecht would disagree.”
Santana didn’t realize that talking to this chick would require Wikipedia access. “Fine, this is a play. So, do you want to meet him so we can get to the next… act?”
“No. He’s definitely a character based on Lothario and in the tradition of epic theater, I’m going to behave in a genre-savvy way.”
“I’m not following you, like at all. I’m just asking for you to let him pursue you for a while. If you give it up, hey, that’s your prerogative, but I must say the boy’s very talented. If you know what I mean?”
“I do, but aren’t you a lesbian?”
“And that makes me incapable of judging these things?”
“A little. You know what they say, ‘Don’t judge and be not judged.’”
Talking to this girl was going to give her an aneurysm. “That’s… tangential.” She muttered to herself, “I was so much better at this with Mr. Schue and Ms. Holliday.”
Genevieve gasped and put a hand to her breast. In a scandalized stage-whisper, she exclaimed, “They’re having an affair? Ooh, plot twist!”
“It’s not an affair.”
“Is that why he left his wife?”
“He left his ex-wife ‘cause she was a crazy-ass person who faked a pregnancy and he was into Miss Pillsbury.”
“So, it was an affair. Love triangle!”
“Enough with the affairs, Squeaky Toy.”
Genevieve continued through the imaginary script in her head. “I thought Miss Pillsbury was engaged to my dentist.”
“Was there an announcement about that?”
“Miss P Facebook-friends all the students.”
“Yeah, that’s weird. Last chance: you want to be half of Puckevieve?”
Genevieve politely accused, “No, I’m pretty sure this is a trick. You’re setting me up. You tend to attack girls who go out with Puck.”
“That is true, but I’m not going to do that.”
Genevieve spoke purposefully. “I don’t believe you.”
“Why not? I have no reason to lie to you.”
Genevieve’s character switched again to that of a lawyer. “False. I have no reason to lie to me, so I tend to trust my instincts. My instincts tell me you’re trying to put me in a place where you have motive to attack me.”
“Your instincts are wrong, you fairyland elf. Are you in or out?”
“I just explained why my gut is never wrong, so I’m out. And not in the LUGgy way. I told you, I’m waiting for college.” With this she walked off with one arm dramatically flung in the air.
“The theater drives you batty. At least there’s an excuse for Berry.”
During the next break between classes, Santana was eyeing all the female students in the hallway. Needs serious dental work… must smear grease on her face every morning… biologically one quarter equine… definite part Cuban; can’t be trusted… definitely born male… will definitely be male by the time she’s thirty…
She finally noticed an attractive enough figure under a head of dirty blond hair. She placed herself against the locker.
“Hi, you must be new here.”
The girl turned to Santana. “Sort of. I moved from Utah last summer, but I’ve been here all year.”
Santana wasn’t listening, instead examining her prey. Ooh, Puck can work with a face like that. “Anyway, Santana Lopez, nice to meet you.”
“Likewise. I’ve heard of you.”
“The lesbian thing?”
“Yes, mostly.”
“Great. And you are…?” Ugh, how do people do this… polite conversation thing?
She extended her hand. “Faith Jennings. Might I ask what this is about?”
“Are you familiar with Noah Puckerman?”
“By reputation. He’s on the football team and the glee club. He got a cheerleader pregnant last year, right?”
Crap. “Right!” Santana agreed, over-smiling, “She’s totally over that. Her name’s Quinn Fabray. We’re friends. We’re like this.” She displayed her fingers crossed. “‘Cept totally not in the lesbian way. She’s straight. So is he, by the way.”
“Are you trying to set me up?”
“How am I doing?”
“Not great. Yeah, I’ve heard he’s kind of a womanizer. And he goes by ‘Puck’ apparently, and I’m almost not comfortable saying that because it’s pretty close a curse word.”
“Utah,” Santana recounted, “You’re Mormon, aren’t you?” Santana’s eyes landed on the cross necklace around her neck and the Bible verse taped to her locker door.
“No, Methodist actually. Knew a lot of them, though.”
“It is because Puck’s Jewish?”
“I wasn’t aware, actually. And, to be honest, that might be the reason I wouldn’t marry him, but I’m gonna refuse you’re offer because he’s not really my type. And, to be frank, I know that this is a trick. He’s your ex and you go after every girl he dates and you’re looking for new meat.”
“That’s not true.”
“Really, ‘cause that weird theater chick was pretty convinced that it was. She said she caught you in some sort of lie.” Santana grit her teeth. “Look, I’ve got to get to chemistry. It was very nice meeting you, Santana.” She circled Santana cautiously and jogged away.
Santana grumbled and briefly considered setting fire to something. I used to run this school and now look what I’m reduced to. Faith had left her locker open, so Santana slammed it shut a little harder than what was necessary.
* *
In the faculty lounge, Will was eating in lunch with Holly.
“Do you always eat your cookies before the rest of your lunch?” Holly asked.
Will laughed. “It’s a bad habit I got into as a kid. I thought I was such a rebel because I always ate my dessert first.”
“Hey, you don’t have to justify it to me, Sinatra. I’m quite in the habit of having dessert before the meal.” Her eyes twinkled and Will almost choked on his food.
He took her hand. “How are you enjoying the ‘meal’, though?”
“I like it,” she admitted, “Doesn’t mean I can’t wait for dessert…”
Will ignored that, looking at his watch. “When did Sue schedule your interview today?”
“One o’clock, but she cancelled again. Do you think I’m not getting the hint?”
“Sue’s pretty straightforward. If she didn’t want you, she’d definitely make a list of your flaws.”
“And what flaws would those be?”
“No comment.”
“Ooh, you formerly married men have got it figured out. I’m used to clueless bachelors.” Holly’s eyes then fell upon Emma Pillsbury, who was eating her lunch alone at another table. “Will, does Emma looks more traumatized than usual?” Will looked up; Emma was unusually fidgety. She was double-wiping her grapes and flinching at every sound and at every passing teacher. When she noticed Will and Holly looking at her, she got up from her seat and power-walked out of the room.
“Maybe I should talk to her,” Will said, “I hope you don’t think it has anything to do with my feelings for her.”
“No, you always do the right thing. It’s kind of sexy.” Holly nervously fiddled with her peanut butter-covered celery, which confused Will, since Holly never did anything nervously. She finally asked, “I was thinking, maybe I ought to sing you a song in glee this afternoon. I’ve been working on something.” With that, her un-Holly-like nervousness shifted back to her very Holly-like sultriness.
“I’m not going to regret this, am I?”
“Don’t you trust me, cowboy?”
“It’s still too early to tell.”
* * *
Santana’s next prospect was a fellow member of the track team. All Santana really knew about her was that she was a British exchange student, her last name was Phillips, and her first name was something bizarre like “Xena.”
“Xena, is it?” Santana asked as she jogged along the dark-skinned girl.
“Zira,” she was corrected.
“It’s pretty.”
“I’m not gay. It’s just my accent. I’m from London.”
“Yeah, already got my eye on another girl, but thanks. No, I’m trying to set you up with my friend Noah Puckerman. He’s on the football team?”
“I know of him. But, sorry, I don’t date white boys, plus if he turned you lezzie…”
“A girl turned me lezzie. Or I was born this way. It's not important.”
“Regardless, I know the score. This is some trick to get into a tussle, innit?”
“Seriously, how did it spread so fast?” Santana was tired of rejection, so she threw in the towel, “Toodles.”
“That’s not a thing,” Zira called after Santana, who had run off.
So, at the end of the day, Santana found herself scarring her eyes by looking upon the stout form of Lauren Zizes, eating bite-size Butterfingers bars two at a time in the deserted A/V room.
“Zizes, can we have a chat?”
“What do you want, Taco Combo?”
“Actually, the question is what do you want, or more specifically, who. Noah Puckerman. You interested?”
“Of course I’m interested. Puckerman’s a total hottie. But you honestly think he’d go for me? I’ve had breakfasts that weight more than some of his flings.” She looked Santana up and now as if she were some kind of beetle. “Not to mention I’ve heard what this is. It’s a setup. You’re trying to set up your ex-flame with a girl so you have someone to take out your gay rage on.”
Santana clenched her teeth. “I’ve got to kill that rumor.” She redirected her attention back to Zizes, “I’m not saying I could or couldn’t takes you down, but I shall say that I don’t wants to find out. Puck’s eager; you might have a shot.”
Zizes now looked at her as if considering her to a beetle would be a step up. “If this is some sort of setup to humiliate me, I will use you as a bowling ball to destroy my archnemesis on the roleplaying club.”
“Duly noted, Lauren.”
“Call me Zizes. No one calls me Lauren.”
On her way to glee, Santana noticed Mr. Horn’s entire room was filled with Cheerios. Classes had ended. She was caught staring by Coach Delmonico, who asked her heatedly, “Is it some kind of vendetta against Sue? I had to cancel practice because my entire squad got afterschool detention because of you.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“So, who told Principal Sylvester that my Cheerios were planning on some silly prank?”
“I really don’t know. Look, I got to go. I have…”
“Glee?”
“Yeah.” She didn’t wait around to watch her get pissy or weepy or whatever she was going to do.
* * *
“So, Finn has asked to go first today. I believe he has a song for Rachel,” Mr. Schue announced.
Finn got up from his seat beside Rachel, but instead of going to the front, he placed himself behind Rachel’s chair and pushed it across the floor, spinning her to face the crowd. Rachel squealed with delight, her hands squeezing the sides of her seat. “Ready?” he asked.
“Ready.”
Brad and the band played a soft rock-pop ballad and Finn sung to Rachel, circling her slowly. She smiled wide and danced in her seat.
Forgetting all I’m lacking
Completely incomplete
I’ll take your invitation
You take all of me now
I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you
I’m living for the only thing I know
I’m running and not quite sure where to go
And I don’t know what I’m diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
There’s nothing else to lose
There’s nothing else to find
There’s nothing in the world
That can change my mind
I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you
There was applause, even by Santana, who swore to herself that she did not smile at the cotton candy sweetness that was Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry. When Finn leaned his gargantuan body over to kiss the miniscule speck that constituted his girlfriend, she finally found reason to shift her eyes away.
There was a knock on the door and all eyes turned to where Holly Holliday was leaning against the door frame, giving Will a heated look. “So, Mr. Schuester, I’ve got a song to sing. Do I need to raise my hand?”
Will’s cheeks flushed. “Everyone, do you think we could squeeze Ms. Holliday?” After a second he added, “…in? Do you think we could squeeze her in?”
“Absolutely,” Santana growled. Beside her, Brittany bit her lips in a wide grin, nudging Santana’s shoulder. Artie scowled at this.
“So, this is for my boyfriend.” She slipped off her jacket and tossed it onto the piano, where Brad didn’t so much frown as shift his eyebrows with the slightest bit of disapproval. Underneath, she was wearing a very pastel ensemble consisting of a white button-up shirt and a cream-colored pants. “Hit it!”
Expectations were underwhelmed when a slow, pop melody began, the slightest hint of a country tinge from the guitar. There was a long intro, during which Holly sat in a chair just swaying, her hands trailing innocently across her sides and through her hair. Finally, she stood up and began to sing softly:
I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I’ve
Never been this swept away
She wandered over to the band.
All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze
When I’m lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away
The only thing I hear
Is the beating of your heart
She circled around and leaned against the piano, locking her eyes and belting her voice:
‘Cause I can feel you breathe
It’s washing over me
Suddenly I’m melting into you
There’s nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn’t that the way that love’s supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Her voice had decrescendo’d to a whisper again, but leapt up onto the piano for to belt on more line:
Just breathe
She continued the song while seated on the piano, rolling around on it. Will was struggling between being moved and mortified. After another tortuously long verse, bridge, and repeat of the chorus, the song finally came to a close.
I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
The two teachers’ eyes locked but they were interrupted by clapping at the door. Principal Sylvester was watching keenly, applauding half-sarcastically. “Well, isn’t that what I like to see: our school’s expensive instruments used as a bed.”
Will groaned. “Sue, can we help you with something?”
“Just wanted to make sure Ms. Holliday was on time for her job audition.”
“Now?” She scrambled off the piano, digging through her purse. “I think I’ve got my résumé right here. Are we going to your office?”
Sue explained pointedly, “The interview was five minutes ago. Let me just say I was very impressed. I was concerned about your mediocre teaching credentials. I hold my educators to a very high standard. Schuester, for example, would never pass my litmus test. But your musical talent does make you an optimal fit for the glee co-director position. Should you be willing to do both that and the health position, understanding obviously that the first is an unpaid position, I think I can make an exception.”
“Will, do you mind sharing the job?”
“Not at all, Holly. The kids love you.” To show their support, the club cheered loudly.
Sue loudly cleared her throat. “That’ll be enough. The sound of cheering just makes me depressed that the Cheerios are utter failures.” She took an exaggerated self-comforting breath and turned back to Holly, telling her without an ounce of joy, “Well, Ms. Holliday, welcome to McKinley.” She snapped her finger to the side and Becky raced in carrying a McKinley High folder and a set of keys. Holly held out her hand but Becky passed it to Sue, who passed to Holly. “Inside you’ll find your teaching certificate…”
“I was wondering when I was going to get that. I thought they were going to send it to me in the mail.”
“Oh, I’ve been having Coach Delmonico go through your mail for the past three weeks.”
“I think she stole my Victoria’s Secret catalog.”
“Probably. Anyway, you’ll also find all your salary and benefits information. Actually, go ahead and look at that. I was to see the disillusionment in your eyes.” Holly complied and her face did fill with discontent. “Those are the keys to your classroom. Did I miss anything?”
Holly flipped through the folder. “There’s a dress code memo in here.”
“Yes, I took the privilege of laminating that for you. Read it carefully. On the back should be another memo about fraternization between faculty members. Welcome to the team. And by team, I mean ‘my labor force.’” She suddenly turned to Santana. “Have a nice video-free day, Wobbles?”
“Yeah,” Santana answered, confused.
“Then where’s my thank-you?”
“I…”
“Kids these days. So inconsiderate. You’re welcome, Carmella.” With that, she left, Becky in her wake.
Will hopped up and put his hand on his girlfriend’s shoulder. “Can we give Ms. Holliday a round of applause welcoming her to New Directions?” The kids clapped, whooped, and cheered loudly.
Santana screamed out, “Kiss her!” She got a stern look from Will, so she added, “Or not. It’s probably inappropriate.”
“According to this, it is. Though some of these stipulations are completely unnecessary. She must have made them up.”
“Only the last one.”
* * *
As Puck and Santana walked into Breadstix, Puck was rubbing his hands together as his eyes scanned the room predatorily. Santana’s were, too, but she was eyeing the canister on the table holding the crispy breadsticks she loved. Puck interrupted her salivating moment to ask her, “So, you ready to show me what foxy mama I’ll be taking home tonight?”
Santana mumbled a reply, “Not really.”
“Huh?”
She turned to him. “So, preface: Apparently, I’m kind of scary, and there’s a rumor going around school that I’m setting up girls with you for the sole purpose of starting fights with them.”
“I can see that.”
“I can cancel your date right here and now. So, anyway, the only way I was going to discredit this rumor was to set you up with the one girl in school who isn’t afraid of me.” She tilted her head toward a particular table across the aisle from them.
“Zizes? Seriously, Lopez. You’re chasing Brittany and I’m getting Paul Bunyan?”
“Think of it as a bike with training wheels. You charm her; you get your game back in top shape; all the girls in school see that I won’t go all Fatal Attraction on them. Suddenly, the Puckster is fending them off with a stick.”
“Fine. Can’t be too hard, right?” He walked over to the table where Lauren was waiting.
Lauren looked up. “Have a seat, Puckerman. I’ve already ordered two appetizers and an all-you-can-eat family style bowl of fettuccini Alfredo. When the waiter comes back, you can order something for yourself. I see you didn’t bring me chocolates. You’re not off to a great start.”
“I could get you some dessert. The chocolate molten cake here is kickass. Unless there’s some other dessert you have in mind?” He waggled his eyebrows.
Lauren looked unimpressed. “Yeah, I already got one ordered. But now that you mention it, I would like a slice of cheesecake.” She snapped her fingers, calling out, “Garçon!”
Back at Santana’s table, Kurt, in his Dalton uniform, greeted her, “Zorra!”
“Nene!” Santana screamed back, hugging Kurt. “I’ve missed you so much. Tell me, how is Dalton?”
“Oh, fabulous. Honestly, it’s amazing what you can pay for when you have… money.”
“And, better question: how does it go with Blim?”
“Blaine, and I know you know that. Er, could be better. Seems he had a bit of thing for someone who wasn’t yours truly.”
“Oh, pobrecito, no. Do you need me to hate him? ‘Cause hating people’s like second nature to me. Wait, it is a him?”
“It was. And thanks, but no thanks on the loathing vibes.” He twisted his lip in a mock-sad manner which quickly devolved into a grin, “Blaine struck out big time. It was some Gap employee with Princess Bride hair.”
“Westley or Buttercup?”
“Split the difference. Also, he was like 20. But… silver lining: Blaine’s a total romantic.” He looked around. “Look, I don’t mean to push, but… Karofsky?”
“He’s getting the loathing vibes pretty hard. I don’t know what the magic gesture is that means it’s safe for you to come back-coming out, apologizing publicly-but whatever it is, it hasn’t happened yet. Sorry.”
“It’s a tricky situation. I’m not expecting a miracle. But onto happier topics. How goes it with your lady love?”
“I’m so close… I’d don’t mean to be crude, but Artie’s just not satisfying Brittany where it counts. She’s probably already broken up with him.”
“Might want to revisit that theory.”
Brittany walked in, pushing Artie in his wheelchair. She waved at Santana. She exchanged a few words with Artie, which became heated immediately and she stomped off, plopping herself down in a chair beside Santana, which she stayed in for exactly one nanosecond before leaping up, hugging Kurt until he could hardly breathe. They exchanged brief pleasantries before Kurt excused himself and Brittany sat herself down.
“Hey, Britts, you and Artie still going strong?” Santana asked sarcastically. “Someone tell you to stick it out?”
“No,” Brittany admitted, “I asked everyone in glee and they told me the same thing that you did: break up with him.” Santana waited. “It’s just hard. He wants to work it out really bad.”
“Well, it looks like you two are working it out really bad.”
Brittany slid her hand across the table and took Santana’s hand, keeping her eyes focused on the connection and not Santana’s searching eyes. “How are you and Puck?” she asked, pulling her hand away.
The question struck Santana strangely. “We’re good. He’s on a blind date with a planetoid that I set him up with.”
Brittany noticed where Puck and Zizes were sitting. “Oh, I thought you two…”
“…were dating? Please, Brittany, did you miss the memo about me only being into girls now?”
“I thought maybe his song had made you less gay. Or you were hiding in the wardrobe again. I heard you were scaring off girls from him all day.”
“I was trying to give him the hookup. Puckerman’s my lesbro. He has zero chance with me…” Her eyes found the couple of discussion: Lauren looked bored; Puck looked desperate. “…and from the looks of it, has even less of a chance with her.” She looked back, “By the way, do you know anything about why the Cheerios all got punished because of me?”
Brittany guiltily confessed, “That was my fault. They were going to stuff a bunch of pornos in your locker, so I told Ms. Sylvester. I didn’t think she’d help me after I left the Cheerios, but she has a robin in her nest about being mean to gay people because of Kurt, so she gave them all detention.”
“So, you’re telling me you confronted Sue Sylvester to save me from getting bullied? Why must you be perfect in every way?” She dragged Brittany into a tight hug.
Brittany bowed her head. “I gotta go.”
“Back to Artie?”
“I need to talk to him about… something.”
The Warblers had assembled on the makeshift stage, so Santana just nodded to Brittany, letting her go. After Kurt’s shy introduction, the Warblers began their song while swaying in place, but Blaine wasted no time walking into the crowd as he started his solo, his compatriots following in his footsteps.
You’d think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.
But I look around me and I see it isn’t so.
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs
And what’s wrong with that?
I’d like to know, ‘cause here I go again
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you
Brittany was seated on the inside chair next to Artie, allowing her to look over at where Santana was sitting alone, mouthing the words. Brittany found herself doing the same.
I can’t explain the feelings plain to me, say can’t you see?
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me
Now can’t you see,
What’s wrong with that
I need to know, cause here I go again
I love you, I love you
He took a seat at Puck and Lauren’s table, screaming: Love doesn’t come in a minute. Lauren shrugged in tacit agreement.
He leapt over to Santana’s table, leaning on his elbows, telling her: Sometimes it doesn’t come at all. She grinned sheepishly, raised her arm bent at the elbow, and gripped her bicep.
I only know that when I’m in it
It isn’t silly, no, it isn’t silly, love isn’t silly at all
He spun around the divider where seated in two adjacent booths were the snuggling couples: Tina and Mike with Sam and Quinn at one booth, and Rachel and Finn across from Mercedes in the other.
Blaine raced back to the stage to sing with Kurt. If Santana didn’t know any better, she’d think he was flirting with him. Kurt was certainly sending bedroom eyes back.
As the song had reached the final ad-lib portion, a couple of Warblers tried to flirt with her. She smiled at them, making a thoughtful face with her hand on her chin, her thumb and index finger in an L-shape. Artie was looking darkly at the tablecloth. Brittany was glaring at the Asian Warbler who’d just tried to sit in Santana’s lap.
I love you, I love you
Kurt leaned over on the booth, receiving a kiss on each cheek from Rachel and Mercedes, and a fist bump from Finn before he pranced off.
I can’t explain the feeling’s plain to me, so can’t you see?
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me, now can’t you see
Santana’s eyes naturally drew back to Artie and Brittany’s table. Artie was gone and Brittany was seated alone. Santana raised her hand in a wave, which caught Brittany’s eye. She waved back, but then turned her eyes to the untouched bowl of spaghetti and meatballs, leaning down and resting her head against the table and drawing a shape with her hand. It appeared to be a heart.
Author’s Note: Here are the songs from this chapter:
- Puck’s song to Santana: “Somebody Told Me” by the Killers. I’m not 100 percent sure it’s actually a straight guy’s serenade to a lesbian, but it is here.
- Carl’s song to Emma: “Can’t Help Falling in Love (With You)” by Elvis Presley. It’s almost barely a Full House in-joke. I really did look for something by the Beach Boys, but every last one of their songs is musical Valium. At least I didn’t choose “Forever”.
- Finn’s song to Rachel: ”Hanging by a Moment“ by Lifehouse.
- Holly’s song to Will: “Breathe” by Faith Hill, because there’s too little country on Glee.
- Genevieve McLaire: Lauren Lopez Genevieve is a character I’ve been working on for some time. (Lauren is of Starkid fame and I’m working on characters for most of Darren’s friends.) I hope to one day introduce her to Glee canon in my novel.
- Faith Jennings: Julianne Hough. Faith is based on the Christian character the creators were brainstorming. Julianne is a singer and a dancer who was on Dancing with the Stars.
- Zira Phillips: Alexandra Burke. I actually stole this character from somebody on Tumblr. Alexandra was the winner of on series of the British X Factor reality show.
Chapter 16: Baby, Come Back