Comments | crabby_lioness: Adoptee Abuse, i.e. You Know That Thing We're Supposed to Never Talk About? Let's Talk About That.

crabby_lioness

Adoptee Abuse, i.e. You Know That Thing We're Supposed to Never Talk About? Let's Talk About That.

Oct 08, 2013 17:14

I found a good therapist this time. (You'd be amazed how often that isn't the case. Kind, yes. Well-trained, yes. Good? Not so much.) He's willing to dig down past all the obvious layers to go after the deeply buried stuff. Right now we're at the level of dealing with being an abandoned child adopted by child abusers. It's not a comfortable ( Read more... )

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Comments 6

angel_9_lives October 8 2013, 23:47:18 UTC

I think most of the reason why people don't believe it is because they don't WANT to believe ( ... )

crabby_lioness October 15 2013, 02:19:59 UTC

Thank you. And thank your mother for me.

No, there were no check-ins. The state waved it's magic wand and declared us "family" forever and ever, with little regard for actual suitability.

kiev4am October 10 2013, 22:54:13 UTC

This is such a powerful and eloquent (and rightfully angry) post. I lurk and don't post a lot, but I'm always incredibly impressed by the clarity and apparent calm you bring to such painful subjects. And I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. As you say, it's especially awful when one's lived experiences are denied and shouted down by other peoples' wildly wrong preconceptions.

crabby_lioness October 15 2013, 02:25:38 UTC

Thank you. I'm not calm though. Just numb.

swordznsorcery October 15 2013, 02:40:28 UTC

I must admit, I've always been guilty of believing the "if you're adopted, you must be really wanted" line. It seems to make such sense, and I've never even questioned it before. We live and learn. I'm sorry about what's happened to you. You do write about it very eloquently though, which suggests that you're finding ways to deal with it? No wonder your sessions with your therapist have been so fraught. It can't be pleasant to relive such things.

For what it's worth though, I don't think you need happy anecdotes about your childhood in order to make friends. I'm no expert on such things, but I can't imagine wanting or expecting such stories. You're a good person, and that's more important. I'm sure there are friends out there just waiting to meet you. In the meantime, share what you want here. There might not be any expert help, or flesh and blood shoulders to lean on, but I know that there'll always be people willing to listen.

crabby_lioness October 15 2013, 19:00:07 UTC

**hugs**