Adoptee Abuse, i.e. You Know That Thing We're Supposed to Never Talk About? Let's Talk About That.

[crabby_lioness]

I found a good therapist this time.  (You'd be amazed how often that isn't the case.  Kind, yes.  Well-trained, yes.  Good?  Not so much.)  He's willing to dig down past all the obvious layers to go after the deeply buried stuff.  Right now we're at the level of dealing with being an abandoned child adopted by child abusers.  It's not a comfortable

Comments

[angel_9_lives]

I think most of the reason why people don't believe it is because they don't WANT to believe.

my mom tried for YEARS to become a foster parent because she saw both sides happening, and couldn't sit there and do nothing. getting in touch with social services did her no good, because of course, by the time the agents came out to look, the parents were all sweet and loving and the kids looked so happy and clean and blah-blah-blah. it didn't matter if it were the birth parents she was trying to report, or the adopted/foster parents. she eventually started taking in the kids anyway, without the gov't support.

when we moved to ohio, DECADES later, she was finally able to become a legal foster parent, and part of the classes we took warned us about the "parents" like yours. the first kid we took in had been moved from home to home, and no one is/was sure if the parents actually did what she said they did or not :\ we chose to act like they had, just in case, but this poor girl...on top of that, the case worker assigned to her was not the most...sympathetic/compassionate person for the job.

anyway, I imagine it's even worse when you're actually adopted...at least with foster parents, there are check ins. I don't think they do that once the adoption is final, do they? :S they probably should, it might help to save some of you the pain :\ better screening would be a plus too >.<

I'm glad you found a good therapist...and for what it's worth, from what I've seen/read from you anyway, you're someone to be proud of, and proud to know. You have a lot of shit in your past, but you've still managed to make a future from it, with a good husband, and three very intelligent children (whom I'm sure are also gorgeous, but I think that of all kids, pretty much, so I'm biased, lol) who know they are loved.

they say "Success is the best Revenge"...keep it up lady, keep it up~ and remember: serve it cold ;)

[crabby_lioness]

Thank you. And thank your mother for me.

No, there were no check-ins. The state waved it's magic wand and declared us "family" forever and ever, with little regard for actual suitability.