[32] time after time

[coolbowtie]

[Voice.]

[The Doctor comes on the line and it's almost hard to recognize that it's him. The usual cheery arrogance is completely gone, replaced by a maniac fear. He seems to be unsure of where he is or whom he is speaking to.]Hello! Is anyone there?! Don't just stand around, answer the bloody phone

Comments

[crusthatecean]

[He's mostly come down from his earlier state, but the traces of it are still affecting him enough that the pronouncement over the phone that Gamzee and Jade are dead is enough to nearly send him into another spiral of panic.

But he pushes that away; it's obvious that this is yet another victim of something that Mayfield is doing.

He doesn't know how to feel about the Doctor and doesn't quite trust him, especially now that he's told him far, far more than he's comfortable with a stranger knowing about him and about Gamzee.

On the other hand, if he sees the Doctor's weaknesses, he won't feel as weak and pathetic himself. At least that's how he justifies it to himself, some warped sense of revenge for seeing him like that rather than any sort of concern. The kindest thing to do to someone in this situation would be to leave them alone and let them pretend nothing happened.

He goes looking, and eventually he'll find him in the garage.

So time lords bleed just like humans, too.]

[crusthatecean]

What does it mean?

[coolbowtie]

My death.

[crusthatecean]

Oh.

Aren't you a time traveler, though? A fixed date seems sort of inherently meaningless.

[coolbowtie]

Certain points in time are fixed, always happening as they should. If they're changed, it starts causing time to crumble and distort, causing the end of the world as we know it.

It's already written in stone that I die that day.

[crusthatecean]

Does it say when you have to actually experience that day?

[coolbowtie]

...Dunno how long I can run from it. I've already been running from it.

[crusthatecean]

I just think I'll express my douchey opinion and say that this is a really fucking stupid fear.

I mean, okay, being hemmed into inevitability by the timeline is frustrating, but in case you didn't know this, everyone dies someday. And most of us don't get an advance notice of the exact circumstances of our death so we can choose to avoid it or face it as we like, and in the meanwhile know that we're probably going to be fine at everything else. In fact, it's just a thing that happens extremely frequently.

[coolbowtie]

...Timelords can live forever, you know. We're supposed to live forever. Were supposed to live forever. Death isn't something we're raised with or we think about. But if I run from it for too long, things are going to start falling apart.

[He runs a hand down his face.]

...Fine at everything, ha. That'd be nice, of course. I don't know, maybe it is better if I end it sooner than later. Stop causing a mess of everything.