i drove into nyc by myself tonight. to the world, that isn't much. but for a decidedly suburban girl who didn't take a train till she was 17, that is a marker. It reflects my newfound perspective ( Read more... )

lj seems like a good place to say argh.

so . . . . arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . .

i never want to play games again.

it's a small world.
everything is connected.
the devil hides in familiarity
tempting me out of new decisions
the prayer to st. michael has become my line of defense
because even though emotional intensity and upheaval is comforting
i don't want it anymore.

and yet, despite it all, I still feel like I'm failing . . .

Ask me 4 questions.

Any 4, no matter how personal, private or random.
I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.

In turn, you post this message in your own journal and you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.

Last night, I dreamed that I was on a plane back to London. I was going with Maria, Vicki and Aedin for Maria's bachelorette party, and her housemates were going to meet us there. (In reality, only Vicki, Maria's housemates and myself will be there and it will be in NYC, not London.) So even though we boarded the plane together, Vicki, Aedin and I ( Read more... )

Tonight I will continue my Holy Week tradition of taking part in the perpetual adoration held all week. One of the holiest people I know started this tradition and she passed away 3 years ago. I was reflectively rereading the entry about when she died, and these words ring truer than ever ( Read more... )

Three teenage girls stand on a typical suburban street at 8 pm on a warm spring evening. Two more alike than the third though perhaps not as different as the third would like to believe. It is not long after Columbine so they ponder guns and death. They fantasize about pain and wonder about the strength required for self-inflicted pain. To a ( Read more... )

Technology has really not improved my life. I can't figure out if I'm meant to be in my job. I don't know if it's my district or everywhere. I don't know if it will get better or I'll adapt or if I'll always be the hamster, running around and getting nowhere ( Read more... )

Because I teach middle school, I've noticed that I'm focusing a lot on how middle school seemed to have set the stage for my emotional development well into adulthood. It's come up again recently in a way I haven't had to deal with since my break up with Mike 5 years ago. (Has it really been that long?) So I've come to realize that in my ( Read more... )