The Morning After (During?)
Title: The Morning After (During?)
Author: confetticas
Rating: pg-13, I think.
Genre and/or Pairing: um. crack in excess. Sam/Gabriel/Thor/Michael, I don't even know.
Spoilers: None, I think.
Warnings: language, implied sex (and lots of it)
Word Count: 1,200
Summary: The aftermath of a very crazy night out. Only, you know, not the aftermath, because they decide they aren't quite done yet...
Author's Note: Um, oh my god, I am - well, no I'm not, but I probably should be ashamed. This was written after nileflood prompted me because I begged for help. It is totally my own fault though! Okay, here goes... *hides*
The Morning After (During?)
Sam returns to awareness slowly, like he’s trying to pull himself out of quicksand and there’s possibly a fork jammed through his skull somehow. There’s a warm body sprawled on top of him and if he isn’t very much mistaken there is another person lying beside him as well. He aches in places he’s fairly sure he didn’t even know could ache, and his memory seems to have walked out on him.
Last he remembers he was listening to Dean and Cas whine about what shitty lives they have and which of them has it worse. Sam’s pretty sure that at some point during the bitchfest he made the mistake of thinking ‘I’d like to be anywhere but here, right now.’
Knowing his life, that accounts for at least some of whatever the fuck is going on, including probably the memory blank and the people in bed with him and, well, all of it. Concentrating very hard gleans him the memory of a conversation in which he allowed Gabriel to persuade him to go out for the night and ‘relax, get some of that mound of stress off your mind for a bit, Sasquatch. Can’t hardly save the world if you can’t even think straight for all the stress.’
…Sam blames Dean and Cas and their combined alcoholism/whine, whine bitch syndrome, in a straight mind, Sam would never have agreed to this, ever.
Hesitantly, and a bit alarmed by how difficult it is, Sam opens his eyes to find that the body lying on top of him is Gabriel (go figure) - actually, it’s a very, very naked Gabriel, and okay, Sam’s going to allow himself one brief moment to appreciate Gabriel’s vessels body because hot damn, he’s attractive. Moment over, and with much apprehension, Sam turns his head slightly to get a glimpse at the other person in the bed.
As he acknowledges that no, he does not recognize the other unbelievably attractive man, he also realizes that there’s yet another person behind the unknown person, and the ridiculously comfortable bed is in the middle of a jungle, literally. Holy fucking shit, Sam is going to stab Gabriel in his face, end of story.
“Quit thinking so loud,” Unknown Attractive Man Number One grumbles, lifting a hand lazily in Sam’s direction, wearing a ridiculously pretty scowl on his face. “They won’t even know you were gone and believe me, it was worth it. Go back to sleep.”
Sam sort of doesn’t even want to ask, but, “Who are you, exactly?”
Unknown Attractive Man Number One grins slightly, eyes still firmly shut. “Name’s Thor, Sammy-Sam-Sam, or as Loki likes to call me, his adopted Michael clone. Now, seriously, go back to sleep.”
Thor? As in, Thor?
“Yes, as in Thor. Hells bells, kid, do you ever shut up?” Thor grumbles, swatting aimlessly again. “The mythology is all crap, I love Loki even if he is an irritating pest, if you don’t let me go back to sleep, I’m going to - I don’t know what I’ll do, but I promise you won’t like it!”
Sam shuts up for a second, and wonders how the hell he gets himself into these things, and also, did he have sex with Gabriel AND Thor last night?!
“Fuck’s sake,” Unknown Attractive Man Number Two grumbles sleepily. “No, you didn’t, Sam, you had sex with Gabriel, Thor and Michael, now please, for the love of what little in this world can still honestly be called good, shut up. Gabriel, don’t even think about opening your mouth right now, I swear, I will start telling these two every single one of your embarrassing fledgling stories, understand?”
Gabriel’s mouth snaps shut and he lays his head back down on Sam’s chest, absolutely silent in every way. Sam muses that it might be worth having Michael around, and then he realizes - oh, holy shit, MICHAEL.
Michael groans. “Shut. Up. Now.”
Sam isn’t entirely certain how he’s supposed to stop thinking, especially considering that he doesn’t remember what he did last night, but according to Michael it involved sex with two archangels and a Norse God.
…what kind of drug convinces a person that’s a good idea? Sam needs to know so that he can never, never do it again.
“Sam doesn’t remember last night,” Michael informs Gabriel in a thoroughly irritated voice, rolling his eyes and reluctantly sitting up. Sam hopes like hell that whoever Michael is wearing isn’t related to him, because damn, hot, and Sam’s really not into incest. “Make him remember and then get me some fucking coffee before I get smite-y.”
Gabriel stares at his older brother, clearly offended. “Why don’t you get your own coffee?”
“Gabriel!”
A cup of coffee appears in Michael’s hands.
Sam considers this. “I want coffee,” he decides. “And you should totally make me remember because I am seriously disturbed right now and I at least deserve to know if the sex was good.” Whatever that drug is, it must be long lasting, because Sam’s pretty sure he shouldn’t feel this mellow about the whole thing. Really. “Also, where are we?”
Gabriel reaches up and presses two fingers to Sam’s forehead.
“…we really did that, didn’t we?” Sam asks a second later, flushing dark red.
Thor punches the mattress and makes a noise that sounds vaguely like a growl. “I hate you all,” he informs them. “And for the record, no, we did not really do that - we never finished and I’m seriously disturbed, how is it that we made every continent except for the one we started out in?”
Sam pauses to give that serious thought. “We never did get around to that, did we?” he asks in a bored, uninterested sort of tone.
Gabriel shakes his head, not lifting it off of Sam’s chest. “No sex in America. Got the rest, though, in less than ten hours, so I’d say that’s pretty damn impressive still.”
“I’m not a quitter, Gabe,” Sam smirks at Gabriel and then quirks an eyebrow at Michael and Thor, “How about we go get the continental US and then Hawaii and Alaska for kicks?”
Michael laughs out loud, startled. “We didn’t wear you out, Sam?” he teases.
Sam grins, incredibly certain that something is very, very wrong with him. “Oh, I’m ready for round two if you are, old man.”
“That,” Thor declares delightedly, with an almost stupid grin, “Was a challenge.”
“Indeed,” Michael agrees smoothly, crawling across the bed, looking absolutely predatory. “I think I’ll take you up on that, Sam. I mean, if you think you can handle all of us again. We may be too much for you to take again so soon,” his eyebrows rise in clear challenge.
Sam’s grin widens, because hey, why have just one crazy night when you can have a crazy evening, crazy night, and crazy day? …And if Sam gets his way of things, maybe there will be another evening and night.
After all - this whole experience has taught Sam one thing, at least: beings who’ve been around since the dawn of time? Know every sex trick in the book. “You’re on,” he agrees with a smirk, and Gabriel snaps his fingers, taking all four of them and the bed to another forest, this one a little closer to home.