Xoobilation Chapter 1
Once every Xooberon year, about 10 ½ years Earth time, the Shamans hold a great celebration. It is a very special time of rejoicing for the people of Xooberon. Its proper name is Xooberon ye Carnidel Amoret, or, “The Party Where Everyone Gets Laid,” but a clever marketing major came up with the much catchier "Xoobilation."
But make no mistake: it's still the party where everybody gets laid.
Vince and Howard had tried to wrangle invitations to the festival, but they were left on Earth for two weeks while Naboo and Bollo headed to the Shaman Celebration. When they’d returned, seriously dehydrated but smiling, Vince had suggested that they throw a Xoobilation on Earth. He’d suggested it every day for a week until Naboo finally woke up and said, “Whatever.”
Howard’s party had been nice, but the Xoobilation was sure to be epic. Vince fully expected to be promoted to King of Camden.
Xxx
Howard wasn’t much for parties. He didn’t care for pop music, communal food, warm beer, or most people. A party at his own home added the unpleasantness of people touching his things, and worse, trying to have sex on his things. The Xoobilation sounded like a terrible idea.
Except for the part where everybody got laid. Howard wasn’t giving up on love. Things hadn’t worked out with the pencil case girl, not after she ripped off her beautiful face and revealed she was actually Old Gregg. Howard had given it a chance. He and Old Gregg had gone on a few dates, gotten to know each other, had a few laughs - but at the end of the day, they were just too different. Howard was a man of quiet and simple tastes, and Old Gregg was a psychotic manfish with a mangina. They were just too different.
He got some ribbing from the guys about being a virgin, but Howard wasn’t ashamed. He was proud of saving himself for the right person. He’d resisted every opportunity at carnal pleasure (mainly Eleanor and Old Gregg), and he was certain the woman of his dreams would respect - possibly even admire - his restraint.
Vince was often a ringleader in teasing Howard, but he was also surprisingly supportive. When Howard groused and claimed to just want to have it off with someone with a pulse, Vince would turn serious and implore Howard not to waste something special. It wasn’t like Vince to take something seriously, and it gave Howard pause. He wanted to know more about Vince’s experiences and why he felt so strongly, but Howard could never quite bring himself to push the issue. If Vince wasn’t bringing it up freely or taking any of Howard’s openings, there had to be a good reason. Vince loved to talk about himself, but there were parts of his life he kept to himself, and Howard respected that. He let Vince spin his yarns about growing up in the jungle with Bryan Ferry and never pushed him on the real story. Vince liked to pretend thar he and Howard had grown up together, and honestly, Howard would have enjoyed his childhood more with a friend like Vince. He wasn’t always the most reliable friend, but he was fun. Everything was an adventure with his silly-haired sidekick.
So Howard put on his finest rollneck and made sure there were no holes in his socks before he put on his sandals. Perhaps it was his night to find love.
Xxx
Naboo knew that humans couldn’t handle a full dose of any of the magic that made for a great Xoobilation. He planned to do everything in half doses, but then Dennis insisted they use ¼ doses. Then Tony Harrison brought up a very important point.
“I thought this was supposed to be a party, not a tea party.”
While they argued over the semantics of the statement and whether or not a tea party was a real party (as implied by the name), they all agreed (while Dennis was in the bathroom) that the Head Shaman was being overly cautious. They agreed to double the ¼ doses.
Unfortunately, Naboo had never quite gotten around to halving the half doses, so the party was catered with full-strength magic. It didn’t take long for the shaman council to realize things had gone wrong, but since they had all been hitting the potions doubly hard, they all agreed it would probably be fine.
Xxx
Vince was debating between three kinds of mascara when Howard came pounding on his door. If Howard cared about things that mattered, he would be able to help Vince with his predicament, but Howard was Howard and therefore useless.
“Vince! The party has gone wrong…”
“This mascara makes my lashes look really long, but this one is better for volume…”
“I don’t care about your stupid make-up!” Howard snapped, with typical disregard for anything that mattered. “I think we’ve made a mistake.”
Howard’s hair was plastered down with some kind of old-fashioned pomade. It was Howard’s current idea of ‘looking nice.’ He looked so ridiculous, it tugged at Vince’s heart. Howard had no clue how to work with his appearance, and he was too stubborn to listen to Vince. It would have taken Vince five minutes to sort Howard out and have him in the shabby-genteel zone that suited him best, but Howard wouldn’t listen. Not to Vince.
“The mistake is wearing socks and sandals. I’ve invited some really nice girls here tonight…”
“Nice girls?” Howard sniffed. “I haven’t seen any ‘nice girls’ at this party. Everyone is acting like depraved, sex-crazed deviants…”
“Howard, it’s just dancing. I know you grew up with the fox trot, but it’s okay for men and women to touch each other in public now…”
“Just get out here!” Howard snapped. “We need to get these people out of our home.”
“I’m not facing half of Shoreditch lookin’ like a mole person…”
Howard snatched a mascara wand out of Vince’s hand.
“Use this one. The other one clumps, and the glittery one always gives you raccoon eyes.”
Xxx
Vince wasn’t ready to completely sacrifice his entrance, so he threw a babushka over his head and hid behind Howard as they entered the sitting room.
The party had gone wrong. There were naked people having sex on their furniture, and it was only half eight. At their current pace, Vince couldn’t imagine what would be happening at midnight. Human sacrifice?
“Is that Lester Corncrake’s head having it off with Mama Zoom?” Vince asked, as though there were other severed heads on the Camden scene with whom Lester could be confused. Other than Tony Harrison.
Howard’s answer was simple, but elegant.
“Ew.”
“What is going on here, Howard?” Vince asked, clinging to the taller man’s rollneck. Howard wasn’t much of a protector, but he felt strong and sturdy. Vince always felt safe behind Howard, even if there was a good chance the big man would throw him in front of any danger that might arise.
“Our soiree has descended into a Dionysian bacchanal… way too early in the evening to be appropriate,” Howard responded in a sonorous tone. It was a tone that made the obvious seem interesting. Vince had been working on his own serious tone, but he didn’t quite have it down yet, so he settled for nodding in agreement.
“We can’t call the police,” Howard mused, picking a stray joint off of a side table. “If Naboo goes to prison, we’re out of a flat.”
“Do we have a hose or something?” Vince asked, imagining a bit of cold water could only help the situation.
Howard was staring at the joint in his hand; it was still smoldering. He gave it a sniff and frowned.
“This doesn’t smell right,” Howard murmured. Vince and Howard had become unintentional coinsurers of the wacky weed, able to identify Naboo’s various strains with a sniff.
“Someone probably brought it to the party, not realizing Naboo would have trays out,” Vince suggested, pointing at the various displays of neatly rolled joints.
Howard took another sniff.
“No, this is Naboo’s Purple Dazed, but there’s something off…”
Howard narrowed his eyes and took a puff. Vince tried to stop him, but it was too late; Howard had already inhaled. He pushed Howard’s stomach until the big man coughed.
“Have you gone mental, Howard? Don’t smoke Naboo’s stuff! Remember when Snoop Dogg came over? He took one hit and nearly had to cancel the rest of his tour.”
Howard smiled and ruffled Vince’s perfectly disarranged hair.
“You worry too much, Little Man. Let’s try the punch.”
Vince felt like he’d stepped into an alternate dimension. Again.
“What are you doing, Howard? There are people getting bodily fluids on the settee. You should be freaking out by now.”
Howard poured himself a glass of punch. “You see, Vince, when you become a man of my experience… you learn to take life as it comes. You learn to relax and roll with the punches.”
“Yesterday, I borrowed a pair of socks, and you had a padlock installed! It took me fifteen minutes to break into your sock drawer!”
“You broke into my sock drawer with an axe,” Howard snapped. “It only took so long because you have no upper body strength.”
“The point is, you don’t relax,” Vince groaned. “You’re all tense and brittle, like a paper machete spider web.”
Howard gave a warm chuckle and placed a glass in Vince’s hand.
“Cheers,” Vince said, automatically, as he took the glass. He then said it again when Howard raised his glass in a toast.
“There’s nothing to be done but to ride it out until morning,” Howard mused after taking a long drink from his glass. “It will all sort itself out.”
Vince took a hesitant sip. The punch tasted good. It was sweet, the way Vince liked, but there was a hint of something else (and it wasn’t just the bottle of booze that had clearly been added). It was something that made Vince’s lips go numb.
Vince gave Howard a gentle elbow to the ribs.
“Fine. I’ll follow your lead, Parsley,” he snickered as he took another sip. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Xxx
Vince blinked, but Howard was still fuzzy.
“I think I need glasses, Howard. I can’t see properly.”
Howard laughed and pushed Vince’s fringe back from his face.
“You’re drunk, Little Man.”
“Am I?” Vince asked, trying to keep the conversation going. He and Howard were snuggled together on Naboo’s couch. Howard hadn’t said ‘don’t touch me’ one time, not even when Vince had rubbed his belly or played with his curls. Instead, Howard remained casually sprawled across the couch, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. Vince kept moving closer until their thighs were pressed together. Instead of retreating, Howard responded by wrapping his arm around Vince’s shoulder. Vince was hyperaware of the large hand on his bony frame. Howard was like a warm jumper. He was snuggly and comforting, and Vince wanted Howard wrapped all around him.
He said it out loud. He said, “I wanted you wrapped all over me,” to Howard’s face.
Howard laughed and stroked Vince’s hair.
“All right, Little Man,” Howard replied as he pulled Vince close, tangling their legs together. “How’s this?”
It wasn’t quite as sexual as Vince had been thinking, but it was nice. It was nice when Howard pushed his hair back, and stared into his eyes.
It was nice when he felt Howard’s lips against his own. Vince stroked Howard’s freshly shaven cheek. Howard had gone all out for the party, trying and failing to look stylish. Vince always loved the way Howard was out of step with the world, but the punch was adding another layer of appreciation. A very deep appreciation.
Vince opened his mouth at the feel of Howard’s tongue on his lips. On the rooftop, Howard had slipped Vince a little tongue. It had been surprising then, but Vince wasn’t sure how to describe his current reaction. He wanted to hold Howard close and whisper sweet nothings into his ear, but he also wanted to climb on Howard’s lap and ride him like a horse until they were both bathed in sweat and he could feel Howard coming deep inside of him.
It wasn’t a completely foreign thought, but it was usually the kind of thought Vince reserved for alone times.
“Why are you so pink?” Howard asked. “And why do you keep whispering ‘nothing’ in my ear?”
“I think the punch made us go wrong,” Vince offered as he sought out Howard’s mouth for another kiss. “Maybe we should stop this.”
“You have a good point,” Howard agreed as he shuffled their positions until Vince was lying down on the couch with Howard half on top of him. “This could be a very bad idea.”
Xxx
There was barely a trace of blue around Vince’s dilated pupils. His eyes were bottomless pools of darkness, instead of jewel-like and filled with color. He was panting as Howard kissed his throat. If there was anyone who would fake sexual arousal for the sake of being kind to Howard Moon, it was Vince, but there didn’t appear to be any artifice in his reaction. Vince’s flesh-hugging red trousers highlighted the erection that Vince was making no effort to hide. Howard rubbed his hands along Vince’s muscled thighs and calves and admired the younger man as he moved into every touch and groaned when Howard pulled his hand away. There was a part of Howard’s brain that remembered smelling the burning joint and thinking he should be concerned. That part of his brain found it odd that Vince was letting Howard kiss and caress him. That part of his brain also thought it was a bit odd that Howard was okay with the current state of affairs.
The much larger part of Howard’s brain wanted to pull down Vince’s trousers and pants, so he could suck him off until he cried out and came in Howard’s mouth. Maybe then he could roll Vince onto his stomach and begin stretching him before bumming him until they both passed out from exhaustion and dehydration.
“I think the magic might be a bit too strong,” Howard observed as he ran his hand from Vince’s ankle to an inch below his obvious erection. “I think we might be acting a bit queer.”
Vince giggled. “I’m always a bit queer. What’s going on with you?”
Howard didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t know how to explain his reaction to Vince. It was an aberration. He wasn’t repulsed by men, but Howard didn’t generally fancy them. He’d had a bit of a crush on Tommy, but it was Vince who popped up in his dreams and confused him. From his first day at the Zooniverse, Vince had stirred something in Howard. Maybe it was his androgynous good looks, or his eager sweetness, or the way his arse looked so round and squeezable in uniform trousers. Whatever it was, Howard was attracted to Vince, and it could be a bit upsetting.
Vince moaned softly as Howard’s hand cupped his cock through his clothing. Vince had to be uncomfortable with his hard-on trapped by such tight clothing. Howard was tempted to help him out by pulling his clothing off - possibly with his teeth - but there was the slight problem of all the other people in the room. Most of them were caught up in their own debauchery, but there were a handful of people gathered around to watch Vince. Howard could hardly blame them. Vince’s sweaty fringe was sticking to his face, and he was biting his lip as he ground himself into Howard’s hand. He looked desperate and wanton and gorgeous.
“Holy shitballs,” a familiar voice observed. “Magnum, P.I. is going to fuck Joan Jett.”
The sound of Fossil’s voice wasn’t enough to break the spell, but it brought a moment of clarity.
“What’s wrong?” Vince asked as Howard pulled him to his feet. “Why are we stopping? I’m not done. I know you don’t know much about this kind of stuff, but…”
Vince stopped talking when Howard scooped him up like a fair damsel and began carrying him to Howard’s bedroom. Whatever they did, it would be special, and it shouldn’t be used as wank fodder for a bunch of gits.
Bob Fossil would never be a part of Howard’s sex life if Howard had any say in it.
Howard would take Vince to his room, where they could be alone. Then they could just let go, safe in each other’s arms.
But make no mistake: it's still the party where everybody gets laid.
Vince and Howard had tried to wrangle invitations to the festival, but they were left on Earth for two weeks while Naboo and Bollo headed to the Shaman Celebration. When they’d returned, seriously dehydrated but smiling, Vince had suggested that they throw a Xoobilation on Earth. He’d suggested it every day for a week until Naboo finally woke up and said, “Whatever.”
Howard’s party had been nice, but the Xoobilation was sure to be epic. Vince fully expected to be promoted to King of Camden.
Xxx
Howard wasn’t much for parties. He didn’t care for pop music, communal food, warm beer, or most people. A party at his own home added the unpleasantness of people touching his things, and worse, trying to have sex on his things. The Xoobilation sounded like a terrible idea.
Except for the part where everybody got laid. Howard wasn’t giving up on love. Things hadn’t worked out with the pencil case girl, not after she ripped off her beautiful face and revealed she was actually Old Gregg. Howard had given it a chance. He and Old Gregg had gone on a few dates, gotten to know each other, had a few laughs - but at the end of the day, they were just too different. Howard was a man of quiet and simple tastes, and Old Gregg was a psychotic manfish with a mangina. They were just too different.
He got some ribbing from the guys about being a virgin, but Howard wasn’t ashamed. He was proud of saving himself for the right person. He’d resisted every opportunity at carnal pleasure (mainly Eleanor and Old Gregg), and he was certain the woman of his dreams would respect - possibly even admire - his restraint.
Vince was often a ringleader in teasing Howard, but he was also surprisingly supportive. When Howard groused and claimed to just want to have it off with someone with a pulse, Vince would turn serious and implore Howard not to waste something special. It wasn’t like Vince to take something seriously, and it gave Howard pause. He wanted to know more about Vince’s experiences and why he felt so strongly, but Howard could never quite bring himself to push the issue. If Vince wasn’t bringing it up freely or taking any of Howard’s openings, there had to be a good reason. Vince loved to talk about himself, but there were parts of his life he kept to himself, and Howard respected that. He let Vince spin his yarns about growing up in the jungle with Bryan Ferry and never pushed him on the real story. Vince liked to pretend thar he and Howard had grown up together, and honestly, Howard would have enjoyed his childhood more with a friend like Vince. He wasn’t always the most reliable friend, but he was fun. Everything was an adventure with his silly-haired sidekick.
So Howard put on his finest rollneck and made sure there were no holes in his socks before he put on his sandals. Perhaps it was his night to find love.
Xxx
Naboo knew that humans couldn’t handle a full dose of any of the magic that made for a great Xoobilation. He planned to do everything in half doses, but then Dennis insisted they use ¼ doses. Then Tony Harrison brought up a very important point.
“I thought this was supposed to be a party, not a tea party.”
While they argued over the semantics of the statement and whether or not a tea party was a real party (as implied by the name), they all agreed (while Dennis was in the bathroom) that the Head Shaman was being overly cautious. They agreed to double the ¼ doses.
Unfortunately, Naboo had never quite gotten around to halving the half doses, so the party was catered with full-strength magic. It didn’t take long for the shaman council to realize things had gone wrong, but since they had all been hitting the potions doubly hard, they all agreed it would probably be fine.
Xxx
Vince was debating between three kinds of mascara when Howard came pounding on his door. If Howard cared about things that mattered, he would be able to help Vince with his predicament, but Howard was Howard and therefore useless.
“Vince! The party has gone wrong…”
“This mascara makes my lashes look really long, but this one is better for volume…”
“I don’t care about your stupid make-up!” Howard snapped, with typical disregard for anything that mattered. “I think we’ve made a mistake.”
Howard’s hair was plastered down with some kind of old-fashioned pomade. It was Howard’s current idea of ‘looking nice.’ He looked so ridiculous, it tugged at Vince’s heart. Howard had no clue how to work with his appearance, and he was too stubborn to listen to Vince. It would have taken Vince five minutes to sort Howard out and have him in the shabby-genteel zone that suited him best, but Howard wouldn’t listen. Not to Vince.
“The mistake is wearing socks and sandals. I’ve invited some really nice girls here tonight…”
“Nice girls?” Howard sniffed. “I haven’t seen any ‘nice girls’ at this party. Everyone is acting like depraved, sex-crazed deviants…”
“Howard, it’s just dancing. I know you grew up with the fox trot, but it’s okay for men and women to touch each other in public now…”
“Just get out here!” Howard snapped. “We need to get these people out of our home.”
“I’m not facing half of Shoreditch lookin’ like a mole person…”
Howard snatched a mascara wand out of Vince’s hand.
“Use this one. The other one clumps, and the glittery one always gives you raccoon eyes.”
Xxx
Vince wasn’t ready to completely sacrifice his entrance, so he threw a babushka over his head and hid behind Howard as they entered the sitting room.
The party had gone wrong. There were naked people having sex on their furniture, and it was only half eight. At their current pace, Vince couldn’t imagine what would be happening at midnight. Human sacrifice?
“Is that Lester Corncrake’s head having it off with Mama Zoom?” Vince asked, as though there were other severed heads on the Camden scene with whom Lester could be confused. Other than Tony Harrison.
Howard’s answer was simple, but elegant.
“Ew.”
“What is going on here, Howard?” Vince asked, clinging to the taller man’s rollneck. Howard wasn’t much of a protector, but he felt strong and sturdy. Vince always felt safe behind Howard, even if there was a good chance the big man would throw him in front of any danger that might arise.
“Our soiree has descended into a Dionysian bacchanal… way too early in the evening to be appropriate,” Howard responded in a sonorous tone. It was a tone that made the obvious seem interesting. Vince had been working on his own serious tone, but he didn’t quite have it down yet, so he settled for nodding in agreement.
“We can’t call the police,” Howard mused, picking a stray joint off of a side table. “If Naboo goes to prison, we’re out of a flat.”
“Do we have a hose or something?” Vince asked, imagining a bit of cold water could only help the situation.
Howard was staring at the joint in his hand; it was still smoldering. He gave it a sniff and frowned.
“This doesn’t smell right,” Howard murmured. Vince and Howard had become unintentional coinsurers of the wacky weed, able to identify Naboo’s various strains with a sniff.
“Someone probably brought it to the party, not realizing Naboo would have trays out,” Vince suggested, pointing at the various displays of neatly rolled joints.
Howard took another sniff.
“No, this is Naboo’s Purple Dazed, but there’s something off…”
Howard narrowed his eyes and took a puff. Vince tried to stop him, but it was too late; Howard had already inhaled. He pushed Howard’s stomach until the big man coughed.
“Have you gone mental, Howard? Don’t smoke Naboo’s stuff! Remember when Snoop Dogg came over? He took one hit and nearly had to cancel the rest of his tour.”
Howard smiled and ruffled Vince’s perfectly disarranged hair.
“You worry too much, Little Man. Let’s try the punch.”
Vince felt like he’d stepped into an alternate dimension. Again.
“What are you doing, Howard? There are people getting bodily fluids on the settee. You should be freaking out by now.”
Howard poured himself a glass of punch. “You see, Vince, when you become a man of my experience… you learn to take life as it comes. You learn to relax and roll with the punches.”
“Yesterday, I borrowed a pair of socks, and you had a padlock installed! It took me fifteen minutes to break into your sock drawer!”
“You broke into my sock drawer with an axe,” Howard snapped. “It only took so long because you have no upper body strength.”
“The point is, you don’t relax,” Vince groaned. “You’re all tense and brittle, like a paper machete spider web.”
Howard gave a warm chuckle and placed a glass in Vince’s hand.
“Cheers,” Vince said, automatically, as he took the glass. He then said it again when Howard raised his glass in a toast.
“There’s nothing to be done but to ride it out until morning,” Howard mused after taking a long drink from his glass. “It will all sort itself out.”
Vince took a hesitant sip. The punch tasted good. It was sweet, the way Vince liked, but there was a hint of something else (and it wasn’t just the bottle of booze that had clearly been added). It was something that made Vince’s lips go numb.
Vince gave Howard a gentle elbow to the ribs.
“Fine. I’ll follow your lead, Parsley,” he snickered as he took another sip. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Xxx
Vince blinked, but Howard was still fuzzy.
“I think I need glasses, Howard. I can’t see properly.”
Howard laughed and pushed Vince’s fringe back from his face.
“You’re drunk, Little Man.”
“Am I?” Vince asked, trying to keep the conversation going. He and Howard were snuggled together on Naboo’s couch. Howard hadn’t said ‘don’t touch me’ one time, not even when Vince had rubbed his belly or played with his curls. Instead, Howard remained casually sprawled across the couch, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. Vince kept moving closer until their thighs were pressed together. Instead of retreating, Howard responded by wrapping his arm around Vince’s shoulder. Vince was hyperaware of the large hand on his bony frame. Howard was like a warm jumper. He was snuggly and comforting, and Vince wanted Howard wrapped all around him.
He said it out loud. He said, “I wanted you wrapped all over me,” to Howard’s face.
Howard laughed and stroked Vince’s hair.
“All right, Little Man,” Howard replied as he pulled Vince close, tangling their legs together. “How’s this?”
It wasn’t quite as sexual as Vince had been thinking, but it was nice. It was nice when Howard pushed his hair back, and stared into his eyes.
It was nice when he felt Howard’s lips against his own. Vince stroked Howard’s freshly shaven cheek. Howard had gone all out for the party, trying and failing to look stylish. Vince always loved the way Howard was out of step with the world, but the punch was adding another layer of appreciation. A very deep appreciation.
Vince opened his mouth at the feel of Howard’s tongue on his lips. On the rooftop, Howard had slipped Vince a little tongue. It had been surprising then, but Vince wasn’t sure how to describe his current reaction. He wanted to hold Howard close and whisper sweet nothings into his ear, but he also wanted to climb on Howard’s lap and ride him like a horse until they were both bathed in sweat and he could feel Howard coming deep inside of him.
It wasn’t a completely foreign thought, but it was usually the kind of thought Vince reserved for alone times.
“Why are you so pink?” Howard asked. “And why do you keep whispering ‘nothing’ in my ear?”
“I think the punch made us go wrong,” Vince offered as he sought out Howard’s mouth for another kiss. “Maybe we should stop this.”
“You have a good point,” Howard agreed as he shuffled their positions until Vince was lying down on the couch with Howard half on top of him. “This could be a very bad idea.”
Xxx
There was barely a trace of blue around Vince’s dilated pupils. His eyes were bottomless pools of darkness, instead of jewel-like and filled with color. He was panting as Howard kissed his throat. If there was anyone who would fake sexual arousal for the sake of being kind to Howard Moon, it was Vince, but there didn’t appear to be any artifice in his reaction. Vince’s flesh-hugging red trousers highlighted the erection that Vince was making no effort to hide. Howard rubbed his hands along Vince’s muscled thighs and calves and admired the younger man as he moved into every touch and groaned when Howard pulled his hand away. There was a part of Howard’s brain that remembered smelling the burning joint and thinking he should be concerned. That part of his brain found it odd that Vince was letting Howard kiss and caress him. That part of his brain also thought it was a bit odd that Howard was okay with the current state of affairs.
The much larger part of Howard’s brain wanted to pull down Vince’s trousers and pants, so he could suck him off until he cried out and came in Howard’s mouth. Maybe then he could roll Vince onto his stomach and begin stretching him before bumming him until they both passed out from exhaustion and dehydration.
“I think the magic might be a bit too strong,” Howard observed as he ran his hand from Vince’s ankle to an inch below his obvious erection. “I think we might be acting a bit queer.”
Vince giggled. “I’m always a bit queer. What’s going on with you?”
Howard didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t know how to explain his reaction to Vince. It was an aberration. He wasn’t repulsed by men, but Howard didn’t generally fancy them. He’d had a bit of a crush on Tommy, but it was Vince who popped up in his dreams and confused him. From his first day at the Zooniverse, Vince had stirred something in Howard. Maybe it was his androgynous good looks, or his eager sweetness, or the way his arse looked so round and squeezable in uniform trousers. Whatever it was, Howard was attracted to Vince, and it could be a bit upsetting.
Vince moaned softly as Howard’s hand cupped his cock through his clothing. Vince had to be uncomfortable with his hard-on trapped by such tight clothing. Howard was tempted to help him out by pulling his clothing off - possibly with his teeth - but there was the slight problem of all the other people in the room. Most of them were caught up in their own debauchery, but there were a handful of people gathered around to watch Vince. Howard could hardly blame them. Vince’s sweaty fringe was sticking to his face, and he was biting his lip as he ground himself into Howard’s hand. He looked desperate and wanton and gorgeous.
“Holy shitballs,” a familiar voice observed. “Magnum, P.I. is going to fuck Joan Jett.”
The sound of Fossil’s voice wasn’t enough to break the spell, but it brought a moment of clarity.
“What’s wrong?” Vince asked as Howard pulled him to his feet. “Why are we stopping? I’m not done. I know you don’t know much about this kind of stuff, but…”
Vince stopped talking when Howard scooped him up like a fair damsel and began carrying him to Howard’s bedroom. Whatever they did, it would be special, and it shouldn’t be used as wank fodder for a bunch of gits.
Bob Fossil would never be a part of Howard’s sex life if Howard had any say in it.
Howard would take Vince to his room, where they could be alone. Then they could just let go, safe in each other’s arms.