It upsets me how much you cross my mind. You continually surprise me, with both good and bad things. How could I have been so blind? I probably ruined any chance I had with you because I'm too bad at getting close to people. I wish I could take back all those things I said about not wanting a relationship. Well guess what, I'm ready now. Maybe you ( Read more... )

I love the fact that I am in a decent mood for once, but with my newfound hope and motivation, sudden realizations occur.

If I ever "find" happiness, I will more than likely lose my empathy and understanding for sorrow..

Now I understand why people seem so selfish. :/

But is it possible to be happy, and share another's pain at the same time?

I spent 10 minutes contemplating whether or not to go to bed or watch the last episode in Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei. And go fucking figure, I stayed to watch and the new character introduced has a guilt complex.

So that's what it's called. >.>

-If looks got you interested, you might as well give up now.
-Understand how much I enjoy cosplay and anime. You don't have to like it, but it'll be a major plus.
-I'll return the favor if you like something I don't.
-Please be literate. AKA not massive amounts of "txt tlk"
-I hate being treated like a girl, and pretty much all gender stereotypes.
- ( Read more... )

-First cosplay experience.
-First time experiencing to what I might know as "true" friends.. or at least as close as I can get.
-First time going somewhere far to meet an online friend.
-Come to terms with being asexual... who still prefers girls, despite being way too afraid to talk to them.. or anyone. : /
-First tattoo.
-First attempt at gauging ears ( Read more... )

Neglection.. of myself, my thoughts.. denial in a lot of ways.. never write because it's just proof of my thoughts. : / But I suppose an update shouldn't hurt. Years from now I'll find this and think "What was I thinking in the 4-month lack of writing?" Maybe I'm just aiming to fill in the gaps in a memory I am sure that I will lose.

Still not ( Read more... )

Is it so bad to want to try something different for once? To try and put yourself out there doing things you wouldn't normally do?

Or in this case, take a chance and trying to trust someone you just met right away?

If someone you just met says they like you, how do you react? How do normal people react to that kind of thing? I really don't know. I ( Read more... )

Here I am yet another night... a night where I starve myself of sleep... a night where I am afraid to sleep... afraid to be unconscious... all for unrealistic reasons, too.. I haven't had a nightmare in a while, but I fear the possibilities... my brain fucks with me too much. If I can avoid pain for even a moment, I will. I don't have the typical ( Read more... )

When you look at me
What do you see?
Do you see a sunny disposition?
Or do you see the exact opposite?
Do you think I'm delicate?
Do you think of me like porcelein?
Would I ever be your doll?
Would I ever be anything?
How can I prove I exist?
Will my mark be left on you?
Will I ever scar you?
Am I attainable?
...Are you attainable?
Do I soothe you?
Do I ( Read more... )

I desperately need a change... and not just me. Millions of others... I know I am not the only one who feels crappy all the time, I am not the only one living with bi-polar disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder, or the lack of social skills and perfect looks, I am not the only one who struggles... Why can't everyone be equal? Why is this earth ( Read more... )