Hard To Say I'm Sorry [PG-13] J2
Title: Hard To Say I’m Sorry
Author: hd_obsession
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 1300+
Summary: Jensen can't bring himself to say sorry.
Disclaimer: These gorgeous boys aren’t mine, no matter how much I wish they were. They belong to themselves and each other and this isn’t true, probably.
A/N: brittwinchester posted this Jensen picture from MBV and then clubinthesky said 'I can't look at that pic of Jensen standing in front of a mirror without seeing Jared standing behind him ... and he'd kiss Jensen's neck and hands would come up and wrap around Jensen's waist and Jensen would start feeling hot and then ... he was just hallucinating' and well, I couldn’t resist. Thank you Adri, for bein’ my gorgeous muse as always, ilu bb.
Jensen stands hunched over the sink looking into the mirror at his face, intensely staring at himself. He shakes his head and turns the knob so the cold water runs and splashes some on his face, trying to cool himself down. He turns the knob again and shuts the water off, still hunched over, looking down at the sink. He feels a press of a kiss against his neck and strong hands at his waist. The hands leave his waist and start ghosting over his biceps and arms that are taut with tension. He looks up into the mirror and sees Jared smirking at him behind him with Jared’s body flush against Jensen’s back, hands still roaming everywhere. Jared leans down to press a feather light kiss against Jensen’s neck that got wet with the dripping water and Jensen tilts his head to give Jared better access.
Jensen turns around to pull Jared into a kiss, a proper kiss, but when he turns all he feels is air. Right. Jared’s not there. Hasn’t been for days. Because he and Jared are fighting about something stupid, something Jensen said in the heat of the moment, something he didn’t even mean. Because Jensen is an absolute idiot. But the look on Jared’s face when Jensen said that nasty comment will be ingrained in Jensen’s brain forever. The shock and hurt and disbelief. The fact that Jensen of all people caused that pain. He doesn’t deserve Jared, not after saying something like that.
But Jensen is one thing and that’s proud. He’s too proud to admit that he was in the wrong, to proud to beg Jared for forgiveness, to take him back. Jensen was also a coward, to run as soon as he saw Jared’s face and his mouth drop open. His fists clench into his palm, the nails digging in and almost drawing blood. He’s not too proud to admit to himself that he needs Jared right now. He needs that stupid gigantic dork, even if it makes him a total girl. He needs to touch that gorgeous golden skin that begs for Jensen to stroke and lick and bite. He needs to kiss that amazing mouth. He needs to see those laughing eyes aimed at him, filled with love and warmth and forgiveness.
But he can’t bring himself to make that telephone call because he’s a stupid stubborn ass. He doesn’t even know why Jared got with him in the first place, not with all the drama that went along with it. With Jensen flinching every time he was touched in public, even in a friendly manner. With Jensen not wanting to do more than kiss for a while because he wasn’t used to this with a guy. It had always been girls for him. He fuckin’ loved girls. Their curves and scent and everything. But Jared had always been different. He changed that for him. He’d thought about other guys, kinda, but he thought it was normal. But Jared was the first guy that made him have more than just thoughts. The first guy that made him want more. And Jensen was scared. But Jared had always been patient, so damn patient. And then Jensen throws a fucking girl in his face? A touch that was totally innocent on Jared’s part even if it wasn’t on hers. But it didn’t matter. Jensen knew that Jared would never do anything; he knew that Jared didn’t even really look at other people.
But Jensen can’t help but be insecure. Jared is fucking gorgeous. Tall and lean with amazing muscles, a grin that lights up the room, messy hair that begs for fingers to be run through it, mischievous twinkling eyes, and those damn dimples. Anyone with eyes would want Jared and Jensen considers himself lucky for having Jared. Hopefully still having him at least. And it’s that thought in the end that makes the decision for him. It’s the fact that Jensen could lose Jared over his stupid possessive tendencies and his insecurities.
He gets up early in the morning in a cold empty bed, aching for Jared’s warmth and even his snuggling that Jensen denies he likes. He’s been staying in the motel a couple of blocks away from the house, unable to go home because he’s not even sure if Jared wants him there. It’s lonely and nothing like the rooms Sam and Dean frequent with their bizarre vibrating beds and outrageous themes. He looks at the clock and curses because he’ll almost be late if he doesn’t get his ass in gear. He runs to the park that Jared frequents to walk Sadie and Harley. It’s pure coincidence of course. Not because he missed the sasquatch. Really.
That doesn’t mean his heart doesn’t clench when he spots Jared’s tall frame a few feet away. That gorgeous body clothed in basketball shorts and a wife beater. Jensen can see a light sheen of sweat on his skin and his hair is wet with sweat too as Jared shakes his head and moves his mouth to the music and beat of the music he’s listening to on his I-Pod.
The dogs go crazy as soon as they see Jensen, tugging on their leashes to get closer to him and Jensen realizes how much he missed them. He squats down to rub their bellies and scratch their ears and just love them, fighting back his tears. Damn mutts making him act like a goddamned girl. Jensen finally takes a deep breath and looks up at Jared who smiles a little and says,
“Hey.”
Jensen stands back up.
“Hey. How have you been?”
Jared shrugs, not answering, but he doesn’t look away because Jensen knows exactly how Jared felt. Just like he did. Bereft and lonely.
“So…I’ve kinda been an ass.”
Jared’s lips twitch like he wants to laugh at Jensen,
“Really? I didn’t notice.”
Jensen rolls his eyes and steps closer to Jared, looking down as heat flushes his cheeks.
“’M sorry,” he mumbles.
“What? Can’t hear you there Jen,” he says, tilting Jensen’s chin up so that their eyes meet and Jensen can see the warm humor in them.
“I said I’m sorry. Ass.” Jensen says, pouting just a little.
Jared laughs and Jensen’s stomach clenches with want. He’s missed that laugh. He’s missed all of it.
“I just…I got jealous okay? I know that’s no excuse but I did. And I said stuff I didn’t mean and I know you would never do anything but I…” Jensen tries to explain his reasoning, however screwed up it is.
“Shh, it’s okay Jen I get it. Well not really, but I get why you said that, even if I don’t agree.” Jared interrupts and Jensen stops his rambling.
“I know you didn’t mean it Jensen, but I need you to be able to trust me. We can’t keep having this fight. You know you’re it for me. You’ve got to know that right?” Jared says, a hint of pleading in his voice.
Jensen closes his eyes, trying to keep back the hurt and those stupid tears because that’s the thing. He does know. Because he feels the exact same way. Jared is it for him. He’s Jensen’s forever.
He opens his eyes to see Jared’s pleading expression, like he’s trying to make Jensen understand and Jensen can’t give a damn about being in a public park, he just reaches up to taste those lips that have been haunting his thoughts.
“I’m sorry, sorry, so sorry Jay,” he repeats over and over again between kisses.
“Shhh, it’s okay Jensen. Let’s go home,” Jared soothes and Jensen knows it’s not completely okay, they’re gonna have to talk about this. Extensively talk about it. But for now, he’s happy with going home. Home - he’s missed that. Home with Jared. He’s missed that even more.
and then they kiss and have sex and live happily ever after :D
Author: hd_obsession
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 1300+
Summary: Jensen can't bring himself to say sorry.
Disclaimer: These gorgeous boys aren’t mine, no matter how much I wish they were. They belong to themselves and each other and this isn’t true, probably.
A/N: brittwinchester posted this Jensen picture from MBV and then clubinthesky said 'I can't look at that pic of Jensen standing in front of a mirror without seeing Jared standing behind him ... and he'd kiss Jensen's neck and hands would come up and wrap around Jensen's waist and Jensen would start feeling hot and then ... he was just hallucinating' and well, I couldn’t resist. Thank you Adri, for bein’ my gorgeous muse as always, ilu bb.
Jensen stands hunched over the sink looking into the mirror at his face, intensely staring at himself. He shakes his head and turns the knob so the cold water runs and splashes some on his face, trying to cool himself down. He turns the knob again and shuts the water off, still hunched over, looking down at the sink. He feels a press of a kiss against his neck and strong hands at his waist. The hands leave his waist and start ghosting over his biceps and arms that are taut with tension. He looks up into the mirror and sees Jared smirking at him behind him with Jared’s body flush against Jensen’s back, hands still roaming everywhere. Jared leans down to press a feather light kiss against Jensen’s neck that got wet with the dripping water and Jensen tilts his head to give Jared better access.
Jensen turns around to pull Jared into a kiss, a proper kiss, but when he turns all he feels is air. Right. Jared’s not there. Hasn’t been for days. Because he and Jared are fighting about something stupid, something Jensen said in the heat of the moment, something he didn’t even mean. Because Jensen is an absolute idiot. But the look on Jared’s face when Jensen said that nasty comment will be ingrained in Jensen’s brain forever. The shock and hurt and disbelief. The fact that Jensen of all people caused that pain. He doesn’t deserve Jared, not after saying something like that.
But Jensen is one thing and that’s proud. He’s too proud to admit that he was in the wrong, to proud to beg Jared for forgiveness, to take him back. Jensen was also a coward, to run as soon as he saw Jared’s face and his mouth drop open. His fists clench into his palm, the nails digging in and almost drawing blood. He’s not too proud to admit to himself that he needs Jared right now. He needs that stupid gigantic dork, even if it makes him a total girl. He needs to touch that gorgeous golden skin that begs for Jensen to stroke and lick and bite. He needs to kiss that amazing mouth. He needs to see those laughing eyes aimed at him, filled with love and warmth and forgiveness.
But he can’t bring himself to make that telephone call because he’s a stupid stubborn ass. He doesn’t even know why Jared got with him in the first place, not with all the drama that went along with it. With Jensen flinching every time he was touched in public, even in a friendly manner. With Jensen not wanting to do more than kiss for a while because he wasn’t used to this with a guy. It had always been girls for him. He fuckin’ loved girls. Their curves and scent and everything. But Jared had always been different. He changed that for him. He’d thought about other guys, kinda, but he thought it was normal. But Jared was the first guy that made him have more than just thoughts. The first guy that made him want more. And Jensen was scared. But Jared had always been patient, so damn patient. And then Jensen throws a fucking girl in his face? A touch that was totally innocent on Jared’s part even if it wasn’t on hers. But it didn’t matter. Jensen knew that Jared would never do anything; he knew that Jared didn’t even really look at other people.
But Jensen can’t help but be insecure. Jared is fucking gorgeous. Tall and lean with amazing muscles, a grin that lights up the room, messy hair that begs for fingers to be run through it, mischievous twinkling eyes, and those damn dimples. Anyone with eyes would want Jared and Jensen considers himself lucky for having Jared. Hopefully still having him at least. And it’s that thought in the end that makes the decision for him. It’s the fact that Jensen could lose Jared over his stupid possessive tendencies and his insecurities.
He gets up early in the morning in a cold empty bed, aching for Jared’s warmth and even his snuggling that Jensen denies he likes. He’s been staying in the motel a couple of blocks away from the house, unable to go home because he’s not even sure if Jared wants him there. It’s lonely and nothing like the rooms Sam and Dean frequent with their bizarre vibrating beds and outrageous themes. He looks at the clock and curses because he’ll almost be late if he doesn’t get his ass in gear. He runs to the park that Jared frequents to walk Sadie and Harley. It’s pure coincidence of course. Not because he missed the sasquatch. Really.
That doesn’t mean his heart doesn’t clench when he spots Jared’s tall frame a few feet away. That gorgeous body clothed in basketball shorts and a wife beater. Jensen can see a light sheen of sweat on his skin and his hair is wet with sweat too as Jared shakes his head and moves his mouth to the music and beat of the music he’s listening to on his I-Pod.
The dogs go crazy as soon as they see Jensen, tugging on their leashes to get closer to him and Jensen realizes how much he missed them. He squats down to rub their bellies and scratch their ears and just love them, fighting back his tears. Damn mutts making him act like a goddamned girl. Jensen finally takes a deep breath and looks up at Jared who smiles a little and says,
“Hey.”
Jensen stands back up.
“Hey. How have you been?”
Jared shrugs, not answering, but he doesn’t look away because Jensen knows exactly how Jared felt. Just like he did. Bereft and lonely.
“So…I’ve kinda been an ass.”
Jared’s lips twitch like he wants to laugh at Jensen,
“Really? I didn’t notice.”
Jensen rolls his eyes and steps closer to Jared, looking down as heat flushes his cheeks.
“’M sorry,” he mumbles.
“What? Can’t hear you there Jen,” he says, tilting Jensen’s chin up so that their eyes meet and Jensen can see the warm humor in them.
“I said I’m sorry. Ass.” Jensen says, pouting just a little.
Jared laughs and Jensen’s stomach clenches with want. He’s missed that laugh. He’s missed all of it.
“I just…I got jealous okay? I know that’s no excuse but I did. And I said stuff I didn’t mean and I know you would never do anything but I…” Jensen tries to explain his reasoning, however screwed up it is.
“Shh, it’s okay Jen I get it. Well not really, but I get why you said that, even if I don’t agree.” Jared interrupts and Jensen stops his rambling.
“I know you didn’t mean it Jensen, but I need you to be able to trust me. We can’t keep having this fight. You know you’re it for me. You’ve got to know that right?” Jared says, a hint of pleading in his voice.
Jensen closes his eyes, trying to keep back the hurt and those stupid tears because that’s the thing. He does know. Because he feels the exact same way. Jared is it for him. He’s Jensen’s forever.
He opens his eyes to see Jared’s pleading expression, like he’s trying to make Jensen understand and Jensen can’t give a damn about being in a public park, he just reaches up to taste those lips that have been haunting his thoughts.
“I’m sorry, sorry, so sorry Jay,” he repeats over and over again between kisses.
“Shhh, it’s okay Jensen. Let’s go home,” Jared soothes and Jensen knows it’s not completely okay, they’re gonna have to talk about this. Extensively talk about it. But for now, he’s happy with going home. Home - he’s missed that. Home with Jared. He’s missed that even more.
and then they kiss and have sex and live happily ever after :D