OOC LOG: HAINE AND BADOU [PART ONE]

[collaredstray]

Who: Haine and Badou
What: Cleaning up after a messy job. And. Yanno. Fooling around.
Where: ...Mimi's bathroom.
When: Like a week ago, when Haine and Badou first started staying at Mimi's
Why: BECAUSE.
Notes: In two parts, part two here. Rated NC-17, your characters didn't see this.

---

"Oh my god," mumbled Badou around his cigarette. He picked up a hand towel next to the sink, then dropped it as if it burned. His eye flicked around. "This is the pinkest shit I've ever seen in my life. Just. Do you feel like your balls are pulling up, or is it just me?"

“No, I get it too. And did you see all the girly products and shit that she has?" Haine poked at a bottle of perfume.

Badou picked up the poked at bottle immediately, spraying it at his partner, leaving red prints all over it. The two of them were splattered liberally with blood. Although they had only been in Mimi's bathroom a few minutes, lots of other things were quickly becoming splattered with blood as well. "Now you smell like-" he squinted at the bottle. "-Mystique."

“Do you suddenly find me mysterious?" Haine asked, spraying Badou with a spritz of Clinique's Happy.

“Who the fuck are you? Are you going to fucking mug me? I will stab you in the goddamned throat," responded Badou cheerfully. He looked from the shower, to the sink, to the mirror, indecisive on how to clean themselves.

Haine's shirt was riddled with bulletholes, and soaked through with blood. He'd also managed to cough up blood directly into his lap, and later, onto Badou's. "I might mug you," he said putting the perfume bottle down without bothering to wipe the blood off first, "you never know."

Blowing out a cloud of smoke and not really listening, Badou opted for the bath, spinning around and smacking the taps. He unbuckled his heavy belt, tossing it at Haine's face. His bloody jeans dropped and followed soon after. “There. I mugged myself for you. You can have that crusty shit."

Haine caught the belt and let it fall to the floor, pulling off his own shirt. "Thanks," he said, throwing the shirt into a pile with Badou's jeans.

“Oh, hey," Badou paused for a minute, gathering up their clothes and turning to a small wicker basket with a flip-top. "If we put 'em in the hamper, maybe she'll wash them for u- HAHA TINY PINK MIMI BRA."

Haine made a face. "Blegh. Don't get blood on it, she'll know you touched it."

It was already far too late. Shirt discarded, Badou turned back around, holding up the bra to his chest. "OH HAINE! IF YOU SEE BADOU LATER, TELL HIM I'M WAITING AROUND IN MY LITTLE LACY BRA FOR HIM TO NOTICE ME." He fluttered his eyelashes coyly, giving himself a look only certain brain damage victims can achieve.

Haine snorted. "Attractive. I think you fill that thing out better than Mimi does."

“Are you saying I have fucking man boobs, or that Mimi is hilariously flat? Hey, you actually got her name right for once." He tossed the now bloodied bra back in the hamper over his shoulder, then tapped ash into the hamper as if it were an ash tray. "Is the bath full yet?"

“Both. And that's because we're staying at her fucking flat. I could at least remember her fucking name." Haine shucked off his bloody pants and tossed them at Badou. He glanced over at the tub. "Not quite. But we'll displace water, so we can get in soon."

Dropping Haine's pants on the side of the hamper [plip plip plip went blood onto the tiles], a boxers-clad Badou rummaged a bit more among Mimi's sink paraphenalia, producing a hair tie. Putting his knotted up hair into a messy bun, he glanced back at his partner. "You're almost all healed up. All you've got left are sorta red marks where the bullets went through."

Haine looked down at his chest and ran his fingers over the marks. "Yeah. They're still a bit tender. And my ribs still fucking hurt. But I'm almost all set." The tub now full, he turned off the water and stepped into the tub. "You coming?"

“Mmhmm," Badou mumbled, scratching some dried blood off the side of his nose in the sink mirror. He pulled his eyepatch off, leaving it within easy reach should Mimi barge in, and smoked the rest of his cigarette quickly. Flicking it into the sink, he shucked off his boxers, long legs stretching carefully into the tub. "Shove it, fatass."

Haine smiled, moving over to give Badou room. "This tub is smaller than the one in your old apartment," he observed.

There was a squeaky, painful sound of skin against porcelain as Badou tried to fit his tall body in comfortably. "Owmotherfucker. It is. You could've waited," he rasped. The warm water felt good on his grungy skin.

"Why would I do that?" asked Haine, smiling wider and shifting so that he and Badou fit in perfectly, facing one another.

The redhead sighed as they slotted into place, his eyes lopsidedly shuttering a little in comfort. After homicide and arson, it was good to relax in a nice toasty bath. "Maybe I don't wanna share. You could'a washed off with the pink handtowel. Or in the toilet with the pink cover."

Haine grinned, leaning against the side of the tub and sighing. "So could you."

“Mimi's my friend. So by extension, this is my fuckin' bathroom. Kinda. I get first dibs." Legs brushing Haine's, he lazily reached for a bar of soap. "Maybe we need to just invest in a fucking powerwasher."

“I got in the tub first," said Haine, simply, splashing water in his bloody face. "That might be a good idea."

“I turned it fucking on!" Running soap up and down forearms caked with sticky red liquid and something very phlegmy, Badou snorted. "Saw a powerwasher once on a smutty PI job."

“Really?" Haine asked, splashing water over his own arms. "I'm sure I don't want to know."

"The King of all enemas," rasped Badou sorrowfully, nevertheless. "Possibly the God of 'em."

Haine winced and covered his ears. "I said I didn't want to know!" he whined.

Badou laughed, pitching the bar of soap at Haine's newly healed chest. "You didn't have to fucking SEE it, don't be a goddamned girl, or I'll make you put on Mimi's bra."

Haine caught the soap in midair and began to lather up. "Not the bra!" he said, gasping dramatically.

Laughing again, Badou leant forward, cupping Haine's soapy chest thoughtfully. "You'll probably fill it out better than her, too."

Haine snorted. "Pecs," he said, very seriously.

“NOTTTTTT," deadpanned Badou immediately. "Mihai has PECS. You just have these weird little white nipples, what the hell is this shit."

Haine covered his chest with his hands. "Hey. Stop staring at my chest, Badou."

“Can't help it," sighed the other man, sloshing water all over as he groped at Haine's non-existent breasts. "The pink would accentuate it, promise."

Haine grinned. "Do you really think so?" he joked, puffing out his chest and flicking the end of Badou's nose.

“Your milkshake will bring all the boys to the yard," intoned Badou very seriously, watching flakes of blood fall from his nose as Haine flicked it. "Ew."

Haine snorted. "The water matches that handtowel."

“Already?" The redhead looked down. "Fuck, I wanted to wash my hair. I got some gross clear shit in it."

Haine shuddered. "Gross. Well. We can rinse off and then fill the tub again. I'll wash your hair for you."

"Danke~" sung Badou. He tilted his head down, the bangs of his hair just above the water. "See it? I don't know if its eye goop or brain goop or what. Might even been fish poop. Its starting to harden."

Haine examined the goo. "Ew. I have no idea what that is. But we'll get it out." He smiled, tilting Badou's head back up. “You've got blood on your neck."

“Eh? Where?" Stupidly, Badou tried to look for it.

Haine grinned. "Here," he said reaching up to wipe it away. "All set. You should probably dunk your head under before we refill the tub, though. I think that's fish poop in your hair."

“I don't wanna dunk down in the fucking bloody water!" whined Badou. "Fish poop be DAMNED!"

Haine sighed. "But there's blood in your hair, and if you don't dunk, there'll be blood in the new tubful of water too." He shrugged. "Most of the blood is mine anyway."

“That's supposed to reassure me?" mumbled the smoker, but he pinched his nose anyway. "Move a little."

“It did, didn't it?" Haine pointed out, smiling and scootching over to allow room for Badou to dunk under the water.

“Shut the fuck up." SPLOOSH. Bubble, bubble. SPLASH. Badou came back to the surface, his cockatiel-bun now heavy and drooping sadly. His eyes blinked back open. "Fishpoop free? Fuck Nemo."

Haine snorted. "Yes. Fishpoop free. My turn. You shove over."

Badou shoved towards Haine obnoxiously instead of away, shaking his head like a wet dog.

Haine laughed and grabbed Badou's head, holding it still and brushing his hair out of his face. "You're a jackass.”

The redhead grinned through wet bangs, biting at Haine's wrist playfully as he pushed them back.

Haine grinned back. "Okay, you gonna let me go under or what?"

The redhead backed up, mumbling something about never stopping Haine from going down before.

Haine snorted and raised an eyebrow before dunking his head underwater and quickly rubbing as much blood as possible from his hair. He resurfaced after a moment, shoving his own hair out of his eyes. "Did I get it all?" he asked, grinning.

"The blood or the dander?" hummed Badou lifting his hands to run his fingers jaggedly through Haine's short hair.

Haine stuck out his tongue. "The blood. Did I get it?" he asked again, leaning into Badou's hands.

“You got it." Badou scratched Haine's head as if he were a dog, vigourous and pleased.

Haine grinned. "Arf. Okay. Wanna refill the tub?"

"Mmhmm. Go for it." Badou disengaged, sitting on the side of the tub with his feet still in the rosy water.

Haine unplugged the drain and joined Badou on the side of the tub, waiting for the water to drain. "We probably can't do anything while we're staying here, right?" Haine mused, watching the water swirl down the drain.

“Huh?" asked Badou, sloshing his toes in the lowering water. "What'dya mean? As long as we don't break her shit, should be fine."

“I mean," said Haine, poking at the drain with his toe, "we wouldn't want Mimi catching us."

Badou looked at Haine uncomprehendingly. "Are we playing fucking tag? You know I hate tag."

Haine stared at Badou for a moment, still surprised after all this time of how slow Badou could be. "You're a fucking idiot."

“What? I just don't like it! I wheeze. I could die. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Haine shook his head in disbelief. "I wasn't talking about tag."

The drain made a rolling metallic noise as the last of the water drained. Badou leant across Haine and turned the taps back on. "Well then what the hell are you talking about?"

Haine plugged the drain back up. "Think hard, mon petit puce."

Sadly, it was a long few moments before the dawn of comprehension lit across Badou' face. "Ooooooooooooh. Like. Catches us."

Haine snorted. "Yes. Catches us."

"We should ...try to avoid that?" rasped Badou, biting at one of his nails absently.

Haine nodded. "Yeah, that's what I said."

“Its only a temp fix, staying here. We'll figure something out soon. It won't be another blue-ball month, promise. Mimi'll have us out at gunpoint by day three, probably."

“Yeah." Haine turned the hot water tap up a little bit. "When do you want to look for a new place?"

“Fucking soon, dude." The redhead adjusted his soggy mess of a bun, trying to curtail some dripping. "I just want our own goddamned place already. Where I can scratch my balls in the kitchen and leave ashtrays wherever I want and can break anything I want."

“Like my nose?" Haine asked, testing the water. "I think we used all the hot water already."

"Especially your nose." Badou sloshed his legs around, feeling the lukewarmth. "Eh, its warm enough. We have extract of fish to fucking get rid of here, remember?"

“Yeah, I remember. Gross," Haine said, shoving Badou's shoulder and turning off the taps at the same time.

The redhead grinned, shoving back before slinking back into the tub. He scooted forward, sloshing water, to give Haine room to climb in behind him. "What kinda shampoo do we got here, and tell me it ain't fucking pink."

“It's orange," said Haine, sliding into the tub beside Badou and grabbing the bottle of shampoo on the side. "Herbal something."

“What a little tree hugger." The redhead shifted uncomfortably. "This tub is too fucking small. My legs are crunched." He scooted backwards into Haine, almost surprised by his proximity when he looked back. Stupid depth perception.

“If we do it like in Pretty Woman it'll fit better," Haine said, shifting.

“Movies always save our lives from suffering," nodded Badou. "Do it. I'm the dude, you're the chick."

Haine snorted and moved so that his legs were on either side of Badou's waist, pulling him backwards slightly so they fit better. "Better?"

“Wait." Badou's own long legs stretched awkwardly, for comfort, and he slid further back into Haine. "Yeah, this works. Man, midget tubs fucking suck."

“Yeah. Sorry I didn't let you bathe alone," said Haine taking Badou's hair down and running his fingers through it lightly.

“Wouldn't begrudge you your favourite new hobby that doesn't include man-slaughter," rasped Badou, flicking at Haine's foot teasingly.

Haine wiggled his toes as he used a cup he'd surreptitiously pilfered from the kitchen to wet Badou's hair. "Thanks."

Badou grinned at the wiggling white toes, so much paler than the tub itself. He tilted his head back slightly so the water wouldn't run in his eyes. "We should start looking for a place this Monday."

“Sounds good to me," said Haine, setting down the cup and squeezing a generous amount of shampoo into his palm, which he applied to Badou's hair. "This stuff smells pretty good."

"Does it? Lucky you. Don't be fucking creepy and huff it when we're on the pullout couch tonight, though." Badou shut his eyes to the bathroom light, relaxing into the water and Haine's touch.

“It's not huffing. My face just finds its way into your hair sometimes," Haine protested, rubbing at Badou's scalp.

“Its creepy huffing," mumbled Badou. Under the water, he rested his arms on Haine's thighs like cushions. Toned, albino cushions, or whatever. "Fuck, that feels good. Do the circley thing."

Haine complied. "It's not creepy. You smell good and you share a bed with me, that's part of the deal."

"Hanmmf," sighed Badou, who really liked the circley thing. "Pull-out couch," he reminded the other man, without rancour. "With sixteen billion springs, all located where your groin or ass is gonna be, mould, and possibly a mouse infestation."

“How does that make it creepy? We've shared a bed for months. It's normal for us." He did the circley thing again.

“Our normal is normal people's creepy," reasoned the redhead. He groaned a little at Haine's ministrations. "Yeah, use your nails."

“Fine, then I won't do it," said Haine, using his nails and making sure to get Badou's hair soapy all the way to the ends.

Badou grinned, plucked at pale toes. "I don't care if you do it. I just said it's creepy." He paused, then amended. "Like you. And me, probably, since you're my BFF."

Haine got out the cup again. "You let me do a lot more than just smell your hair," Haine pointed out, tilting Badou's head gently back.

There was a thoughtful pause. "Not on Mimi's pullout-couch," Badou decided. "But in our own place, once we get it, yes. You can huff and touch and Do a Lot More all you want." Badou's scarred hand slid backwards to squeeze playfully at the thigh around his waist.

Haine grinned and leaned in to kiss a soapy shoulder. "Our place had better have a bathtub."

“A bathtub with claws!" insisted Badou, making claws in the air. "Or its not a fucking real bathtub at all. And exposed piping that I won't hit my head on. And windows that function as windows instead of a place for birds to nest and shit and die."

Haine grinned against Badou's shoulder and nipped at it. "Of course. Whatever you want, mon petit puce." He pulled back to put a cupfull of water over the taller man's hair, rinsing out the shampoo.

Badou's smile was miles away. A couple, anyway, to a flat where break-ins happened only twice a month, and the radiator actually worked. "That'd be the life," he said out loud. "Our own place. No more bumming off other people and having to wait 'till fuck o'clock before we can fool around. Afternoon delights, man. That's where its at. There's even a fucking song about i-" Having gotten excited and tried to turn around to look at Haine, water got in Badou's face.

Haine cackled. "Hey. I'm trying to wash your hair, here."

Undeterred, the redhead spat water. "No more having to try and manage the noise level," he went on. "No more fucking horribly embarrassing walk-ins."

Haine grinned, refilling the cup and pouring water actually on Badou's hair this time. "That will be fucking sweet. I like making you make noise."

"I like you liking to make me make noise," cheered Badou, wiping wet bangs from his face. He stirred excitedly in the tub. "A space all to ourselves."

"I can't wait." Haine poured another cup of water over Badou's head, sure to get all the suds out.

Soap free again, Badou leaned back into his partner, resting his head on Haine's shoulder. On a whim, he reached up and pulled Haine's lips to his, tangling his fingers in the damp white hair.

Haine made a small, pleased noise and kissed Badou, automatically letting an arm snake around the redhead's waist.

The redhead kissed open-mouthed and playfully, tongue quick and fickle. The hand in Haine's hair tightened absently, drawing him in.

Haine nipped at Badou's lips, tightening his hand at his waist, allowing himself to be drawn in. "I guess," he said during a brief break in the kiss, "this is okay," another playful, biting kiss, "if Mimi isn't here."

"Yeah," replied Badou absently, his smile disrupting the precision of his kiss. He pressed back against Haine, wanting contact, finding a perfect fit. "Totally okay."

Haine made another small noise into the kiss, pulling Badou tighter up against him.

Badou's hand gripped Haine's thigh as some sort of anchor, so he didn't get completely lost in the kiss. "Haine," he mumbled, between the meeting of mouths. "It'll be like this-" a kiss, a sigh, "all the time."

“Yesss," Haine hissed against Badou's lips, his free hand lifting to tangle in Badou's hair.

The beginning of Badou's next sentence was lost in a quiet gasp from a sharp nip, but the tail end was clear, "-even better." The redhead kissed a little less playfully and little more like he meant business. The dirty kind.

Haine responded immediately with a more intense kiss of his own, keeping the pace slow and languid.

Badou gave a quiet laugh into his partner's mouth at the enthusiasm, his stomach clenching a little bit for some reason. He ignored it, craning his neck back more and more as he kissed the albino deeply.

Haine kissed back, unable to keep the pace so slow for long. He licked deeply into Badou's mouth as he traced the lines of Badou's neck with gentle fingers.

The fingers buried in Haine's hair snagged and pulled, and Badou shivered against Haine's front as soft fingers trailed along his neck. He kissed all the harder for it, biting at Haine's lower lip.

Haine made another, more insistent sound, tightening both his hands and pulling Badou even closer to him.

Pulling back a fraction, Badou breathed against the other man's lips in short, shallow intakes. The water was beginning to cool, but Badou didn't seem to notice.

Haine smiled, leaning back in for a brief kiss, not letting his hold loosen. "We definitely need a bathtub in our new place," he said softly against Badou's lips.

The redhead smirked gleefully, tempering it with gentle kisses at the corners of Haine's mouth. "Gonna be constantly fuckin' pruney."

Haine's smile widened, meeting Badou's lips for another brief kiss, his arm wrapping more securely around Badou's middle. "Guess so."

“Your skin'll finally match-" an interruption for a more lingering kiss, broken off just when it began to get really going, "-your old man pubes."

Haine whined when Badou broke the kiss, and then snorted, nipping at Badou's lips. "How's that?"

“All wrinkly,"mumbled the redhead with a slow, evil smirk.

“My pubes are wrinkly?" asked Haine, raising an eyebrow.

“Pruney!" insisted the other man, giving Haine a silly, wet smack of a kiss. He then bent forward a little. "Check. I bet they are."

Haine glanced down. "I can't see, your ass is in the way," he said, nipping at Badou's shoulder.

Badou coloured, hesitated, coloured deeper, and then settled firmly back into Haine. He pressed his face back into Haine's hair, not wanting the other man to see him so flustered.

Haine shrugged, wrapping both arms back around Badou's middle and kissing his neck lightly. "I don't think they're pruney, though."

“What if I told you I could feel the pruniness?" joked the redhead, still flush.

Haine smirked and wiggled a little. "Can you?"

“That's one big wrinkle," blurted Badou, before he could stop himself.

Haine snorted, biting at Badou's throat. "Is it?"

Badou's laugh spiked on the end from the bite. "Ahuh."

Haine ran his tongue lightly over the bitemark. "I see."

"Fuck," sighed Badou, squirming fitfully in Haine's grasp.

"If you keep squirming it's going to get bigger," said Haine, scraping his teeth lightly over that same bitemark.

The redhead gasped sharply, then struggled to compose himself. Fucking Haine and his fucking teeth. His eyelids hooded slyly, mouth pursing, and he squirmed very deliberately.

“Ah," Haine breathed, shivering and nipping at Badou's neck again.

Badou's scarred hand came up to rest in Haine's hair again, and he grinned. "You mean like that?"

Haine laughed against Badou's throat. "Ah. Yeah. Like that." He wrapped his arms tighter around his partner and bit him again, trying to make him squirm more.

The redhead bucked a little at the hard bite, giving a breathy exhalation that seemed to echo too loudly on the bathroom tiles. He coloured again, yanking on the strands of hair in his hand.

Haine smiled, his own breathing picking up slightly as he let one hand drift slowly downwards on Badou's stomach

"Checking to see if I'm pruney?" rasped Badou, trying not to arch too much into Haine's hand. He turned his head slightly, lips trailing warmly across his partner's temple.

Haine moved his hand slowly. "Yeah," he said, shivering lightly every time Badou squirmed.

Badou whined impatiently, tempted to put his hand over Haine's, and put it right where he wanted it to be. "The mystery is killing me," he mumbled, shifting, causing little waves.

Haine smirked. "Well. I wouldn't want you to die," he said, moving his hand down further, where Badou wanted it.

"Ah," Badou exhaled, then worried at his lower lip. His eyes shut of their own accord, one after the other. "Just the little death, pleasesirthankyasir."

Haine grinned, kissing Badou's neck affectionately as he began to move his hand. "Le petit mort, mon petit puce?"

Badou moaned quietly, lowly, the hand on Haine's thigh grasping harder. "Oui," he breathed, fairly grinding back into his partner.

Haine gasped, the arm wrapped around the taller man tightening, pulling him closer as he slid his teeth up the column of Badou's throat.

Throat bared willingly, Badou enjoyed every moment of Haine's sharp-toothed ministrations. He also reveled in the tight hold Haine had on him, that firm grounding arm around his middle, keeping him close. The hand between his legs didn't go amiss either, of course. "Ahh, Haine, fuck," he rasped, nails biting into the albino's thigh.

Haine hissed at the sharp bite of Badou's fingernails and sped up the pace of his hand as he tugged about Badou's ear with his teeth. "Mein sicherheit," he breathed.

The redhead groaned louder, his legs spreading, kneecaps hitting either side of the tub with painful sounding clunks. He didn't seem to mind, or even notice. "Y-yes, fuck. Mehr, bitte, yes."

Haine complied, whispering in Badou's ear about how much he liked this in English, German and French.

Colouring deeply, Badou shook his head a little, a breathless laugh escaping his lips. "I know," he managed. "I c-can still feel it. Uh." His eyes fluttered as his pleasure built. "Let me- you-"

Haine smiled, ignoring Badou's last statement and busying himself with giving the redhead a hickey at the junction of his neck and shoulder.

Badou swore, whimpered, and at the other end of the tub, his toes curled.

Haine grinned, dragging his teeth along the mark. "Gekommen für mich," he whispered.

A series of shivers rolled up Badou's spine in response to Haine's low voice, and his hand held Haine's thigh in a bruising grip. His other hand was clutched in his partner's hair, and it wrenched Haine's lips to his, mouths clashing almost painfully. He panted into Haine's mouth, mumbling an incoherent yet unmistakable plea.

Haine sped up the motions of his hand as he kissed Badou hard. He still held the redhead to him tightly, his stomach flipping over in pleasure at the sounds Badou made.

And it was one hell of a sound Badou made as Haine finally brought him over the edge, the albino's insistent tongue and relentless hand proving too much for him all at once. He gave a gasping, shuddering moan as he came, which bounced off the tiles and hung in the air long after Badou's bit his lip almost to bleeding. Spent, he gave a small, overwhelmed after-moan, body slumping as one muscle.

Haine smiled, wrapping both arms back around Badou's middle and resting his head on his shoulder. "Le petit mort."

It took Badou a few moments to catch his breath, his body still reeling. He half clung to Haine like a limpet "M-mort," he rasped breathlessly, "Je suis mort. You said you didn't want me to."

Haine snorted. "Did I mess up?"

Folding his arms on top of the loop of Haine's about his waist, Badou gave a slightly dazed headshake. As firm of a 'no' as he could muster.

Haine grinned. "Then I guess it's all right."

A dazed nod yes, and Badou nosed his face into the side of Haine's hair, a dangerously affectionate gesture.

Haine's smile softened as he enjoyed Badou's rare affection.

The redhead placed a soft, secretive sort of kiss to Haine's head, settling more comfortably against his partner, his previously joint-locked knees dropping below the water.

Haine relaxed against the tub. "The water's cold," he pointed out.

"We have to move?" asked Badou in a small whine, pushing his nose deeper into Haine's hair.

“I just said that the water's cold," Haine replied, leaning his head against Badou's nose lightly. "We'll have to move eventually."

Badou was quiet for a moment, and normally it would have been out of laziness. However, he then pulled his face back out of the white shock of hair to mumble quietly at Haine, with no traces of his usual mockery, "Can I towel you off?"

Haine laughed softly. "If you want to."