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[colie722]

I don't know where to start. I don't know where to end. There is a whirlwind of anger, compassion, rage, sadness, and bliss all rolled into one and I have no idea what's going on. For once in my life I've totally commited my life to being the responsible adult I need to be to succed in life. Yet I'm still carrying a ball and chain on my leg. I

Comments

[sonofenki]

I hope you dont really feel like that, and if so, then we need to have a sit down because this whole setup is a balanced give and take, and to see that you feel like this, especially with how hard i try says to me I shouldnt try aymore, if its not doing any good why do it at all?

[colie722]

No, that was how I felt. I've tried over and over again to everything right. Not to hurt anyone and to be honest upfront and foward about anything and everything I do or say. This was me venting. The sametime the whole Troy thing was going on. I felt as though noone cared how anything affected anyone but themselves. I tried as hard as I could to not let it get to me. Ya know what though that shit really hurt. It wasn't only you she lied to it was me also. That whole 3 in 1 thing blends a lot more then you guys say it does. I was hurt and very very frustrated that no matter how open and truthful I was with both of you a lie and deciept got more credit and reward. An honest this is how I feel doesn't work. I was showed that to get any recogniton of my words I need to lie. That's what I was pissed off about. I'm not gonna say anthing else about it. It's a dead subject and I'm just gonna say something wrong. I love you and I'm sorry.