[Fic] Irresistible - 10/10

[coley_merrin]

Title: Irresistible
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, vampire, smut, historical
Warnings: References to issues of consent (not in fic itself), fictional drug use

Summary: The streets of Zhou Mi's city are being contaminated with a new drug - Euphoria. Pure vampire blood, it causes a high unlike any other, but when the high fades, the nightmares begin. It is the spread of Euphoria that Zhou Mi fights, and in that fight he needs a partner to get him to places and people that only a vampire can.



***

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Epilogue

***

Kyuhyun staggered toward the sound of his voice, gasping with every trip of his feet. It was almost as though he was blind, unsteady, and Zhou Mi’s heart lurched with every movement. The wild look on Kyuhyun’s face pained him. It was proof that the wild yells and shouts from above had truly been Kyuhyun. It was one thing to imagine that Kyuhyun was horribly ill and in pain, and another to see it. The Kyuhyun he knew tried to be so collected, a vampire in control of his surroundings. Protective. Kyuhyun wanted to be the one doing the protecting, not as he was. Perhaps it was foolhardy to do what he was doing, but no matter the warnings Changmin gave, he didn’t truly believe that Kyuhyun could be so far gone as to hurt him. Kyuhyun had taken such care to make sure that Zhou Mi trusted him.

“Kyuhyun.”

“No. Get out!” Kyuhyun screamed, his nails scratching along the stone as though he wanted to rip one out and fling it. “You don’t belong here! Impostor!”

Zhou Mi froze, remembering Changmin’s warnings, remembering that Changmin had said Kyuhyun had tried to strangle someone, wasn’t in his right mind.

“Kyuhyun! It’s me! Zhou Mi,” he nearly shouted, so that Kyuhyun would understand. “You’re hungry, right? Let’s make another agreement.”

Kyuhyun stopped, silent and staring. His feet were filthy, as though he’d been walking the floor for hours. Days. He wore only simple trousers, much like those Zhou Mi had on, and they were dirty as well. There were smudges on his skin, on his face. He looked haggard, as though he hadn’t slept, gaunt as though he hadn’t- He hadn’t eaten, Zhou Mi knew that. For weeks, Changmin had said. Over a month, since the end of their agreement.

But when Kyuhyun spoke again, his voice was quieter, hoarse. “You. It can’t be you.”

“It is me. Zhou Mi. It’s me, Kyuhyun. You know me.”

Kyuhyun took an unsteady step toward him, and his voice was so soft, so full of wonder. “It is you.”

“Yes. It’s me. Come sit with me.”

It was not an arbitrary request because of the way that Kyuhyun was swaying, touching his neck and arms as though he were in distress. He held out his hands, beckoned Kyuhyun closer to the mattress. If he could sit them both before Kyuhyun just fell, he would be able to relax, just a little.

“Why haven’t you eaten, Kyuhyun?”

“I did. I did eat. Men, and women. So lovely. So much skin. Blood until I was drunk. You weren’t there. I can’t get drunk any more. It was… Where were you?”

The way Kyuhyun spoke started out lucid, words that had Zhou Mi’s stomach tightening. And then Kyuhyun sounded so confused, staring at the floor and touching his head like it hurt, or was muzzy. Kyuhyun kept saying “you” and Zhou Mi could only assume it was him Kyuhyun spoke of. Though if Kyuhyun hallucinated, he could have been speaking of anyone.

“I’m here. Come here, Kyuhyun. That’s it.”

Zhou Mi took a couple of steps back, to encourage him, and Kyuhyun tottered closer.

“A woman made me sick,” Kyuhyun said, looking straight into his eyes. “Did you see her? You were there. In the library.”

A woman. Zhou Mi only remembered ever seeing two women in Kyuhyun’s library. “Miss Choi? Sooyoung? Or Victoria?”

“No! They don’t have blood. She was- Flowers.”

Kyuhyun was making increasingly less sense, and his worry rose with it.

“Flowers? She made you sick?”

“No blood. Help me.”

Kyuhyun’s eyes closed, and he swayed, and Zhou Mi grabbed him, steadying him.

“I’m here to help you. Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun, look at me.”

And finally, Kyuhyun did, his dark eyes miserable and half focused. It seemed like Kyuhyun was taking him in, looking at his face, his neck. And Zhou Mi nearly jumped as Kyuhyun’s hand gripped his shoulder.

“This mark. This mark, he didn’t have it,” Kyuhyun babbled, staring at the mark Zhou Mi knew he had at the base of his neck.

“What?”

“The man. He was wrong. He didn’t have this mark like you do. It was a lie. Changmin lied. There wasn’t any blood.”

“No blood in the man?”

Kyuhyun shook his head, his hand squeezing tighter. “He didn’t have the mark. I couldn’t find you.”

“You know where I live. You could have sent for me.”

“I looked. I waited.”

Kyuhyun leaned into him and Zhou Mi had to brace himself to keep them from toppling over. Kyuhyun’s body was like a furnace, hotter than Zhou Mi had ever felt him, and he held Kyuhyun close. It wasn’t graceful, but Zhou Mi got them sitting, side by side on the mattress, with Kyuhyun half facing him, held against him.

“You even smell like him.”

“Like who, Kyuhyun?” Zhou Mi asked. Finally needing to know. If it was another man Kyuhyun was secretly hoping for, it would not change what he had come to Kyuhyun to do. He would not have stopped helping. He half wished he hadn’t asked, but Kyuhyun shook his head.

“Zhou Mi. Smoke. Sweat. Spice. Shirt smelled like him.”

“I am Zhou Mi.”

“Did I find you?”

“Yeah,” Zhou Mi said, petting Kyuhyun’s hair. “You found me.”

Kyuhyun pushed his face at Zhou Mi. Weak, fumbling kisses but Zhou Mi did not resist him. He steadied them, let Kyuhyun taste, until a groan rumbled through Kyuhyun.

“You taste like- The same. Zhou Mi.”

“Yes. You need to feed. You’ll feel better.” Zhou Mi kissed Kyuhyun’s neck, hoping maybe a demonstration would encourage Kyuhyun to try.

And steadying Kyuhyun’s head, he brought Kyuhyun’s face against his neck, letting Kyuhyun’s lips drag against his skin as he’d done so many times.

“Feed from me, Kyuhyun. My blood is waiting for you. They didn’t have blood but I do.”

“My blood,” Kyuhyun repeated against Zhou Mi’s neck.

“That’s right. It’s yours.”

It hurt, and he hadn’t expected that. Almost as though Kyuhyun was chewing at his neck, like a puppy at a bone. But as long as Kyuhyun fed, he could endure it. Maybe Kyuhyun could rest, then, clear his head.

Moment by moment, Kyuhyun squirmed over him, pressing him back almost as though he was claiming him. His to feed on. There was no arousal to dull the pain of the bite or of Kyuhyun’s nails digging into his arms. There was only worry, and the pounding of his heart in his chest. He wondered how he would react, if Kyuhyun took too much. If he was too dizzy to stand, he could crawl, if Kyuhyun did not hold him. Kyuhyun was, would always be, stronger. But he had some faith that Kyuhyun, even in the depths of his hunger, would be able to stop himself.

“Kyuhyun,” he crooned, rubbing Kyuhyun’s skin, trying to keep a connection. Trying in some way, he thought, to make sure that Kyuhyun remembered he was real.

Kyuhyun’s hand pushed down hard on his chest, and when his head lifted, his chin was smeared with blood.

“Mine.”

Zhou Mi didn’t struggle, stroking Kyuhyun’s arm with his fingers. “Yes. Yours. Did you feed enough?”

“I’ll have all of you,” Kyuhyun said.

It felt as though Kyuhyun were swearing it on his life. And Kyuhyun bit him. And again. He was not dizzy, did not falter, merely bided time. Teeth against his shoulders, the palm of his hand, his ankle.

Zhou Mi lost count, as Kyuhyun grasped at him, crying out in pain once, as nails dug into his skin, and Kyuhyun bit him again.

But he did not resist. His. Kyuhyun’s.

***

Kyuhyun woke slowly, the sun bright, and so warm on his skin. He closed his eyes tighter, turning into the warmth and trying to find his way back into sleep. There was a pounding, too, over it all. Someone calling his name. All he wanted was one afternoon nap-

He lifted his hand, feeling it come away, sticky, from the warmth he was lying against.

His eyes snapped open. Dark hair, fluttering under the light of the electric light lamp over their heads. Sticky. He stared at his hand, smeared with red, and the back it had been resting on with handprints all over it.

He tried to remember. The blood frenzy. Hearing the door open. Zhou Mi’s lifted hands. Zhou Mi’s moans.

“Oh. Fuck. No. Zhou Mi.”

The blood frenzy was dangerous. Humans had died, drained of too much because the vampire had been out of his or her mind with hunger.

Warmth. Zhou Mi’s skin had been warm.

He grasped Zhou Mi’s shoulder, turning him over and pulling his hand away as though even that touch would hurt him. There were spots scattered all over his skin, where Kyuhyun had bitten. Not to feed, but to mark that the human was his, his own. His blood, and no other’s. Most had closed, with only smears where Kyuhyun had touched and rubbed before the healing. The pounding came again, and Kyuhyun rose, taking a few unsteady strides before running for the stairs.

“Changmin! Get me a blanket!”

A pause. “Is it safe?”

“The frenzy has passed. Zhou Mi is alive, but- I don’t know how much blood I took.”

The door leading to the upper floor opened, and Changmin tossed a blanket down to him. They shared a look, only momentary, before Kyuhyun turned back to Zhou Mi. He was sprawled as though debauched, though Kyuhyun knew he had not had the wherewithal to initiate sex. It took some rolling, but he got Zhou Mi into the blanket. He was less concerned for himself, only needing to know Zhou Mi was covered, warm. And Kyuhyun lifted him, carrying him up the stairs and past Changmin. And then up to the second floor and to Kyuhyun’s room.

Zhou Mi had begun to moan by then, clearly beginning to wake.

“Don’t move,” Kyuhyun told him. “You’re fine. I’ll have you in bed in a moment.”

He had teased Zhou Mi once, that Zhou Mi liked taking care of him. If Kyuhyun were honest, he enjoyed looking after Zhou Mi as well. Looking after his needs, helping him, making him smile. And when the hardships weren’t caused by Kyuhyun, even better. It was guilt, then, as Changmin helped him to get Zhou Mi onto the bed. Zhou Mi’s head fell back onto the pillow, mouth open, moaning. There were multiple bites on his neck, red lip marks under his jaw and near his collarbone.

“It looks like you feasted well,” Changmin said. “I have them bringing up water for him to drink, broth and juice and bread. Anything you can get in him. His color is good.”

Kyuhyun felt for Zhou Mi’s wrist, and found his pulse steady, but quicker than he’d like. Perhaps from the fact that he was waking. He had to hope that. He left Zhou Mi’s side only long enough wet a cloth to wash Zhou Mi’s skin of his blood and Changmin had returned his supplies before he returned, slipping out again. Perhaps Kyuhyun would only clean his neck and chest and arms, but it would be something.

Zhou Mi blinked at him like a sleepy owl, as Kyuhyun began to wash his skin.

“You’re better,” Zhou Mi half whispered.

“Thanks to a good dose of your blood. How do you feel?”

Zhou Mi lifted a hand to his temple, the action slow and deliberate. “Like I might break my face on the stairs.”

“Then you won’t be seeing those stairs soon,” Kyuhyun assured him. “I have food, drink, here, if you can stomach it.”

“I think so,” Zhou Mi said, and accepted the cup of juice with both hands, cautious. “Why did you bring me here?”

To Kyuhyun’s bedroom. It had been instinct. Zhou Mi was-

Kyuhyun peeled down the blanket covering Zhou Mi’s chest, feeling under the two largest wounds for the barely raised lines there.

For the time being, anyway, Zhou Mi was under his care.

“I know you’ll be looked after here,” Kyuhyun said, and stood. “I’m going to dress. Stay there. Or call for me if you need help.”

“I”m glad you’re better,” Zhou Mi told him.

And Kyuhyun looked away. “Yes. Thank you.”

And then he walked away, and the physical distance felt like leaden anchors around his ankles and lovingly pressed over his shoulders. He washed Zhou Mi’s blood from his hands, from his skin, and wanted to crawl into his bed and cup Zhou Mi’s face between his hands and kiss him. Just kiss him, for minutes on end to assure himself he was all right, and that he was there, that his waking dreams had been real.

Zhou Mi was in a half stupor when Kyuhyun returned, the empty mug settled beside him. In vampire terms, he had been savaged badly. The wounds at his neck would take time to heal. Kyuhyun remembered Zhou Mi asking him once if a vampire could rip a human’s throat out. He’d come near enough it seemed, to causing damage that could have been fatal. Worst, he had nearly no memory of it. No memory of thinking that it was Zhou Mi he was harming. He could have woken, to find Zhou Mi cold.

Zhou Mi stirred, looking up at him. “The juice was good. I might eat…”

Zhou Mi devoured the fruit, the bread, the fish, as though he hadn’t eaten in years. He’d never seen Zhou Mi eat that voraciously, and was not surprised when he moaned, holding his stomach.

“Too fast?” Kyuhyun asked, amused.

Zhou Mi just grunted at him.

And Kyuhyun noticed something, something he had missed.

“I’ve never seen you without your earrings in since…”

Since the vampire den. He could see it startled Zhou Mi. “Oh, yes. It was for safety. They are part of me almost by now.”

Safety. So he would not have ripped them out. He hissed between his teeth, and put that aside, still standing very still, very straight.

“Why did you get them?”

“I suppose they remind me of where I came from, and who I am. They make me happy when I’m admiring myself in a mirror.”

Yes. There was something quite enticing about them. As were the bare curves of Zhou Mi’s ear.

“I’ll have them brought up to you,” Kyuhyun promised.

***

In the end, Kyuhyun had Zhou Mi’s earrings, his glasses, and what remained of his clothes both brought up, sending a servant to Zhou Mi’s home to fetch more. Zhou Mi had laughed that he would sleep away much of the day that was soon to dawn, and Kyuhyun thought so as well.

The one thing that Kyuhyun could not do was ask that Zhou Mi stay until he woke. He wondered if it was a tacit agreement, as he stripped himself from his trousers and shirt. Even with as much blood as he had taken, minus what they had ended up wearing, he did not feel quite himself.

“You need rest as well,” Changmin had told him in front of Zhou Mi, as though he was some recalcitrant child. When Kyuhyun had demanded answers of Changmin downstairs, how Zhou Mi had ended up in the basement with him, he’d gotten no answers.

And there had been no urging Kyuhyun to find a bed separate from Zhou Mi as he had expected.

Zhou Mi did not even stir as Kyuhyun arranged himself, too deeply asleep. It was so strange, too strange, to see Zhou Mi in his bed again. Zhou Mi had willingly gone into that basement with him, and let Kyuhyun bite him. It had weakened him, to the point he was at, resting and sleeping beside Kyuhyun in his bed.

The biggest question Kyuhyun had before he slept was: why?

***

When Kyuhyun woke, his bed was empty. He’d become so used to it, that he slid from that to half-panic, until he saw Zhou Mi sitting in a chair nearest the wall light. He read from a book, and looked up almost immediately as Kyuhyun sat up. There was maybe ten feet between them, but it felt like a gulf. A month ago, Zhou Mi would have belonged there. Right then, he did not know how to feel about Zhou Mi’s presence, or about what had happened that Zhou Mi was there.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Zhou Mi said. “I ate more when I woke. It is not as bad as the first time you bit me.”

Good. That was good.

“You were still recovering from the Euphoria,” Kyuhyun said. “It’s a wonder you can walk.”

“I have been walking with some strength a week now after that ordeal,” Zhou Mi said, smiling slightly. “Two weeks in bed left me unsteady, but I would not let myself grow weaker.”

But he’d put himself in the path of a vampire who could have killed him, from bites that Kyuhyun had not been able to control.

“Your wounds are healing,” Kyuhyun said, leaning forward so he could get a better look at the bite marks on Zhou Mi’s neck. What had been angry the night before were faint pink spots. It sent an uncomfortable lurch through Kyuhyun’s stomach.

“Yes,” Zhou Mi said, lifting a hand to touch that same place. “When I woke a few hours ago, the scabs were already coming off. It seemed like they were a lot worse than that before I slept.”

“Yes,” Kyuhyun said, swallowing hard. To take his mind from it, he switched to a topic still plaguing him. “How did you- What brought you here last night?”

“I received a letter from Changmin, on the hunt for another Euphoria storehouse. On your letterhead.”

It hadn’t sounded incriminating, up until the last.

“He made no mention of me?” Kyuhyun asked.

“No mention of you.” Zhou Mi shrugged, adjusting the book in his lap. “I found it odd, so I decided to check. And when I did, I- I confess I barged into your home to see what was wrong. And I heard you shouting.”

Changmin had promised him he would not call for Zhou Mi, and he had not. At least, he had not directly. Kyuhyun’s throat tightened as his thoughts ran wild.

“And Changmin politely showed you down to me?” Kyuhyun asked, and the edge in his voice only grew sharper as Zhou Mi’s lips began to curve. “I could have easily killed you. Did he make no mention of that?”

“No, that he explained in great detail,” Zhou Mi said, and rose. It took only several deliberate steps before Zhou Mi was sat on the edge of the bed, near Kyuhyun’s knees, and met Kyuhyun’s eyes. “He did not explain how you had had gotten to be in that situation. Not enough to satisfy me, anyway. He said you had not eaten.”

“Of course he didn’t explain,” Kyuhyun said, and paused before deciding against divulging more information at least on why he hadn’t eaten. “When a vampire does not feed after biting a human for a number of weeks, a process takes place. They are locked up, to keep from hurting others. Their whole body is moved to crave nothing else but the blood of the human they ate from last. Their body, their blood, their presence.”

“Is it painful?”

“It felt like being asleep. Waiting. Anger when- The wrong human appeared. I do not remember much. Changmin should have told you.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered. I would have wanted to help you. You sounded in such pain. To think of you undergoing another month of that? I couldn’t allow it.”

Kyuhyun’s eyebrows rose. “A month? In the blood frenzy?”

“That is what Changmin said.”

“I would have been in the fog of it a week more, perhaps. You were…misled.”

“I thought he was trying to talk me out of helping you,” Zhou Mi said, and then stopped. “He was trying to make sure I would.”

Yes, Kyuhyun was far beyond suspecting that himself. Changmin had not sent for Zhou Mi, but he had lured him, and he had let Zhou Mi down into a situation without knowing everything, without any promises. Zhou Mi would have thought he was helping. Just helping.

“Then we’ve been played,” Kyuhyun said. “Because he promised me he would not send for you.”

“Why?”

“I could have hurt you.”

Zhou Mi shook his head as though he wasn’t even slightly concerned about that, and still he pressed on like his mind was struggling to understand it all.

“This is what Changmin was trying to warn you from the whole of the time we were together. I see now what danger it was to you,” Zhou Mi said. And as Kyuhyun watched, he raised a hand to his shoulder. That place. “I meant to ask you about this wound. It is raised, not healing like the others.”

Zhou Mi’s conclusions were close, but not exactly right. But the wound, yes. He was afraid Zhou Mi would notice. Afraid, hopeful, he wasn’t sure which. He licked his lips, wondering how to say the most frightening part of the blood frenzy, what he had not been able to explain before.

“They are teeth. My blood teeth.”

The way Zhou Mi’s hand had stilled over the wound, Kyuhyun could see that he had startled him.

“You left your teeth in me?”

“A set, yes. I have another. A vampire begins to grow another set of teeth, when the frenzy-” And Kyuhyun blew out a breath. There was more, but he could not say it. “A skilled surgeon will be able to remove them from you.”

“What purpose could leaving your teeth in me serve? Why grow another set? You aren’t surprised, so there must be a reason.” Zhou Mi’s eyes widened. “Is that why my wounds are healing so quickly? This is not the path to being a vampire? You didn’t turn me?”

“Don’t be absurd,” Kyuhyun barked. “I would have to have killed you for that. The teeth are…”

Everything. Everything he couldn’t have, he thought as, he took in Zhou Mi’s worried face.

“Are what?” Zhou Mi prompted.

But Kyuhyun turned back into his pillow. “I don’t feel well.”

“Do you need to feed?”

That Zhou Mi would offer had hysterical laughter tickling Kyuhyun’s throat.

“I don’t think that’s wise. You’ll be leaving soon.”

It was barely above a whisper, and he pressed his face harder down.

“Will you tell me more, when you’ve rested?” Zhou Mi asked.

“We weren’t supposed to see each other again.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Zhou Mi apologized, but Kyuhyun knew he did not regret helping Kyuhyun. But there was a truth that Zhou Mi didn’t know.

“Find a surgeon to remove the teeth. Go back to saving your humans.”

Zhou Mi patted Kyuhyun’s leg. “I hope you recover soon. Goodbye, Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun sat frozen, staring at the closed door. He knew he had not been meant to have many chances in life with humans. So many of them had been to feed from only. Others, physical gratification. Zhou Mi had been both those things, but not only. He’d had his one chance, taken the risk to keep Zhou Mi near, and pushed him to leave when their month was up. He could have kept Zhou Mi, no matter what Changmin had warned. He thought Zhou Mi would have stayed. No, he knew he would have.

He didn’t know why he rested on his bed instead of taking Zhou Mi’s hands and begging him not to go, not to do as Kyuhyun suggested, but to take a chance on him.

For Kyuhyun, there were no chances left.

***

Downstairs, Zhou Mi planted himself in front of Changmin.

“What is the meaning of the blood teeth that Kyuhyun left in me?”

Changmin would not meet his eyes. “I can’t tell you that.”

“Won’t,” Zhou Mi said, grabbing Changmin’s arm. “I didn’t press Kyuhyun because he is still weak, but you I have no compunction against demanding answers from.”

“Kyuhyun wouldn’t tell you?”

“He told me to have them removed.”

There was something that flared in Changmin’s eyes, something like fear, that made Zhou Mi knew that he would get his answers. He just wasn’t sure what answers those would be, or why Changmin reacted as he had.

“No, I won’t remove them,” Zhou Mi assured him. “Not until I know what they are, and why they are. I thought that you were afraid of Kyuhyun entering the blood frenzy, but this..?”

“Do you remember what I asked you to promise?”

Zhou Mi tried to recall. He’d been so full of anxiety that it was amazing to him that he remembered anything at all.

“To help him? Not to do anything rash?”

“Not to make rash decisions, as it seems that Kyuhyun is trying to force you to.”

“Then give me answers.”

Changmin’s eyes closed. “It is his place to tell you. It was his place before the frenzy to tell you what you needed to know, so you could decide for yourself. But it was also his decision to make. I violated that by letting you go down without knowing the full truth. So yes, I will give you your answers.”

Zhou Mi nearly sagged in relief. “Please.”

“The blood frenzy is usually a deliberate act, a calculated denial to force the desperation and bind a - usually willing - human to them.”

“Bind a human,” Zhou Mi said slowly, each word deliberate. “I don’t understand.”

“Having the teeth in a human’s flesh is only useful for one purpose. As they are, Kyuhyun could feed from you nearly indefinitely, and not hurt you. The longer the teeth are in you, the more you will become the perfect source of blood.”

“Can Kyuhyun only eat from me?”

Changmin scoffed. “Don’t be silly. But… You would taste unique to him. Desirable.”

“What about when I die?”

“What?”

“If I am a source of blood for him, what about when I grew old and died?”

Changmin stared at him, and Zhou Mi wondered if the room was growing smaller around them.

“You would not. The teeth along in conjunction with Kyuhyun’s bite would prevent you from aging, from falling ill. If you were a normal human, they would protect you from the thrall as well.”

Zhou Mi’s inhale was harsh as he touched the wound on his shoulder again. “Then this isn’t… This isn’t just to create a perfect meal. This is… The bite of a life partner. The equivalent of a wedding ring.”

“To put it crudely. Those are all things a vampire and his chosen human acknowledge. There is inherent risk in the blood frenzy - putting a human of some regard in danger, in order to-”

“Keep them,” Zhou Mi said softly.

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before I went down? Why hide that from me?”

“You did not see Kyuhyun as he was before he went into the basement,” Changmin said, turning toward the window. “In his delirium, he nearly took to the streets to look for you. When he tried to strangle a man in the basement, it was because that man wasn’t you.”

Some of Kyuhyun’s ramblings started to make sense. The man hadn’t been him, hadn’t been the right blood.

“You did everything you could to make sure he didn’t enter the frenzy,” Zhou Mi said.

“Yes. What bound him to you was stronger than my warnings, or my attempts to save him.”

“Then the lasting effects for me are some sort of immortality. At least I won’t die in a day. But that seems a small thing to be so grave about.”

“A vampire has one chance,” Changmin said. “The blood frenzy might be gone into many times, but once the blood teeth are placed in a human, there is no taking them back. No one does it lightly. When we are children, we have one set of teeth, and lose them to gain a stronger set. With a vampire, it’s the same. But once those teeth are given, there is no taking them back.”

The rush of words seemed like it drained Changmin, and Zhou Mi leaned back harder on his hands, grateful for the pain of the desk edge against them.

“Then I took away his- I took away his chance of finding- How could you do that to him?”

“Use your brain,” Changmin retorted. “I did nothing to him or to you that I thought he didn’t want.”

“But you warned me from him the entire time we were together. Warned him!”

“Yes. And despite those warnings, despite those urgings, and cajoling him to eat, he ended up in that cellar. I did not warn you from him because I did not want him in the frenzy, nor was I opposed to him giving you the teeth. I did not object to you,” Changmin said, staggering Zhou Mi. “But he had only one chance to use wisely. If you would not leave him, if he would not turn from you, then the choice was good. You were willing to risk your life to save him. And he wanted no one but you.”

“But still he told me to go. To remove the teeth.”

“He’s weak, like you said. He might not think that you would stay.”

So he was pushing Zhou Mi away. A silly thing to do. A very human thing to do.

“I will keep the teeth in me, until he decides under better circumstances,” Zhou Mi said. “Or will that take away my choice as well? Are there other secrets you’re leaving out?”

“No. The teeth are impermanent, yours to remove at will. That is the truth.”

“If he rejects me anyway?”

Changmin smiled. “Then you may live long enough to see his mind changed.”

***

“You promised me!”

Changmin didn’t even have the wherewithal to look ashamed at Kyuhyun’s accusation when Kyuhyun stormed into the library. He wasn’t sure if Changmin had stayed there all along or if Kyuhyun had just had good timing, but it was obvious Changmin had been waiting for him.

“I did not send for him,” Changmin said, like he’d had the argument kept in his pocket. And he had no right, no fucking right to pretend that he’d acted as Kyuhyun had wanted.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it.” Oh, he hated the desperate edge on his voice, like he was scolding but had no conviction behind it. He was right to feel angry, right to feel betrayed. It should have been his choice. He should’ve been the one to call for Zhou Mi, to give Zhou Mi the chance to choose him.

”Why did you send him away?”

Kyuhyun shook his head. Too many reasons crowding around in his head. Sometimes he wasn’t even sure himself. “He should not have gone into the cellar with me. He had no idea what he was doing.”

Some of the uncertainty on Changmin’s face smoothed. “No, he knew. You didn’t see him. He would have done anything to save you.”

“You took that choice from me! From me. I should have been the one to ask you to call for him.”

“You were sick with love for him,” Changmin countered, and Kyuhyun recoiled.. “Yes. You were, and are. And you did ask me to bring him. Dozens of times.”

“I was out of my mind with hunger,” Kyuhyun said, and slammed down his fist. And it felt like rebellion. “I told him to have the teeth removed.”

Changmin grunted, his eyebrows drawn down. “It was not hunger. He was your choice. Send for him, before he does what you suggested. It does not take a smart man to see that you did not want him to go.”

“Are you calling him stupid?”

The way Changmin rolled his eyes it was clearly not just Zhou Mi he was maligning.

“You both are worthy of each other.”

Kyuhyun scowled, and Changmin did little more than retrieve his hat and go, leaving Kyuhyun to take his place behind his desk and brood.

***

Zhou Mi paused outside of Kyuhyun’s bedroom door. He’d taken a day to compose himself, to recover. The marks on his skin had faded, and he felt stronger than he had since before the Euphoria. He’d had so much to think about after Changmin had finally given him information. He gone home in disbelief, anger. He’d felt tricked, manipulated, and betrayed. But an hour of pacing had done him good. If Kyuhyun had not wanted him in that cellar, then perhaps he felt betrayed as well, and afraid because of Zhou Mi’s ignorance of it. By Changmin’s own words, he’d allowed Zhou Mi down because he believed it had been what Kyuhyun would want. Kyuhyun had spent over a month starving himself, not eating from any other human.

There had to have been a reason for that. Sometimes the things in life that were most wanted were the hardest to reach for. He could say, in the way that Kyuhyun had reacted to him in the cellar, that it had been frenzy talking. Kyuhyun had waited for him.

There was only one way that Zhou Mi knew to assuage the fear in him. If Kyuhyun would not answer his words, there would be only one other choice.

So he pushed into the room, watching Kyuhyun sit up in his bed.

“Why are you here?”

“Because I still have questions,” Zhou Mi said, and made sure the room was awash in light. He wanted no shadows, wanted to see Kyuhyun’s face. “I spoke to Changmin before I left yesterday, and he said you needed time. I hoped a day’s sleep would have sufficed.”

“I have nothing more to tell you.”

Zhou Mi stopped at the foot of the bed, and was gratified as Kyuhyun rose to face him. At least he would not be dismissed.

“No? Tell me why you went into the frenzy. Why you didn’t eat from other humans when you knew you would be drawn into this.”

“I couldn’t,” Kyuhyun retorted, stepping closer. “I don’t get ill like humans do, but it made me ill when humans were brought to me. It was a sickness I could not cure myself of.”

Because every time he had tried to feed, he had seen Zhou Mi’s face. And then heard Zhou Mi telling him that he loved him. He wasn’t sure how he could have hungered with that in his mind.

“And the teeth?” Zhou Mi opened his necktie, began to undo the buttons down his chest. “You put them in me.”

“They were meant for someone who wanted them.,” Kyuhyun said, and then stared at Zhou Mi’s shoulder, the bandaging padded there. “You had the teeth removed.”

Someone who wanted them. If Zhou Mi had known, there would have been no one who wanted them more than he dd. But he wanted then to know if it had been Kyuhyun’s desire to give them.

“You told me to,” Zhou Mi told him, and he watched carefully. Watched, as though Kyuhyun’s reaction would be hard to see.

But it was not. Kyuhyun’s head turned to the side as though he’d been struck, mouth opening to let out a stunned exhale. And that lower lip trembled as Kyuhyun struggled to take in air, shoving out at Zhou Mi as though he were keeping him from breathing.

“Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun.”

“No. Go. Go! You don’t belong…here.”

Kyuhyun’s voice nearly cracked on the word, his back turned to Zhou Mi, and Zhou Mi lunged, catching Kyuhyun’s arm before he could walk away, lock himself in the dressing room.

“No. Kyuhyun, look,” Zhou Mi demanded. With his free hand, he reached into his shirt and tore away the thick bandages. And he pressed Kyuhyun’s palm there, so he could feel where under Zhou Mi’s skin the teeth still were.

Kyuhyun was panting, staring at Zhou Mi’s chest. “What?”

“I needed to know.”

If Kyuhyun had wanted him there, if he’d wanted to bite him, to keep him. He could almost see the thoughts racing through Kyuhyun’s head. What Zhou Mi meant by the teeth still being in him, why he was there.

But when Zhou Mi leaned closer, it seemed like that was all the catalyst Kyuhyun needed. He reached for Zhou Mi’s ribs with a sound of desperation, and Zhou Mi followed, always followed. Where Kyuhyun was, Zhou Mi met him. He wasn’t sure which of them were holding on tighter, worming arms closer, pressing until body met body and there was nothing between them. Breathing into each other’s necks, incredulous laughter and clutching fingers.

“I’m sorry,” he said, just breathing Kyuhyun in. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know if you wanted me here.”

“I bit you. I put my teeth in you. How could you have doubted?”

“But did you want to? You sent me away.”

“It didn’t matter what I wanted,” Kyuhyun said, and nearly shook as he spoke. “You had no fathoming what that bite meant. It was nothing to you.”

“I might not have gone down to you if I had known it was your only chance.” When Kyuhyun stiffened, Zhou Mi held him tighter. “Yes. Changmin told me that you can’t choose another now.”

“If I’d asked you, if you’d known…?”

Zhou Mi knew what Kyuhyun was asking, and it tore through him. Kyuhyun hadn’t had Changmin send for him when he’d fallen ill. Kyuhyun had told him to have the teeth removed without telling him what they meant. If either of those had gone as planned, they wouldn’t have been standing together.

“I would have gladly come to you. After Changmin told me, I thought you felt you had chosen unwisely, that I’d stolen your chance of finding a human more to your liking.”

“No. Yes. No,” Kyuhyun corrected himself. “There wouldn’t have been another. You were irresistible to me from the moment I met you. That you resisted the thrall only added to it, because I could not reason away your reactions to me.”

To hear the words was different than knowing them. There were so many varied needs that Kyuhyun implied, body, mind, heart. Everything he had said, everything he had done, would have read true to Kyuhyun, and Zhou Mi realized perhaps he should’ve been more aware of that as well - how bare and obvious his reactions had been. They had been open to each other, unaware of it in their fascination with each other. And yet still, if Kyuhyun had known, then he had not chosen Zhou Mi. It still worried him.

“Why didn’t you send for me? What were you so afraid of?” Zhou Mi asked him.

***

Kyuhyun’s head reared back, staring at Zhou Mi in disbelief.

“You are the most peculiar human,” Kyuhyun said.

Zhou Mi’s laugh shook them both. “You are holding me like I might disappear. You were pushing me away. Except… By not feeding from someone else, you were holding me then, too. I just didn’t know it. Were you afraid I would leave or stay?”

“I held myself apart for so long, so careful not to get too close. Humans are so…fleeting. The blood frenzy’s main purpose is to remove all of the barriers of the thrall. To create an equal, an other.”

“The stare of the soul,” Zhou Mi murmured.

“Changmin was very loose lipped with you. Yes.” The swallow was nearly painful, as Kyuhyun closed his eyes. “I thought all hope was lost-“

Kyuhyun’s words died out, as the tip of Zhou Mi’s nose brushed his, beside his, as he nuzzled against the touch. Moments later, their foreheads met, almost a thud at Zhou Mi’s silent laugh. He could feel, smell, touch, all of Zhou Mi.

“You said you loved me,” Kyuhyun said, his voice so terribly soft. “I’d convinced myself it was only the thrall or the Euphoria.”

“The thrall can’t induce feelings. You know that. I missed you.”

It nearly made him shiver, those words on Zhou Mi’s voice, soft and so full of truth. “My bed was cold.”

“And Jinyong?”

Yes, Zhou Mi would need to be sure of that. To that, Kyuhyun had only one answer, because he had pondered it himself in knowing what he would lose if Zhou Mi had the teeth removed. He’d have lost a chance at something greater than either of them.

“Where you are, there is always a place for him.”

“Kyuhyun.” Zhou Mi’s thumbs stroked his skin. “And where you are?”

Perhaps Zhou Mi needed to hear it. Perhaps they were words that needed to be said, so that Zhou Mi would not question his place, question that Kyuhyun had wanted him close and had for so much longer than Kyuhyun could admit. Zhou Mi was right, that he’d been afraid. Instead of grasping what was in front of him, Zhou Mi’s warmth, he’d very nearly lost it.

“Where I am, there is need for you,” Kyuhyun said.

His bed had been cold, and so much more than that. Body. Stomach. He wanted to reach up, pet down Zhou Mi’s hair and feel the smooth transition between it and his warm skin. How many times he’d done that, while feeding. His eyes closed, basking as Zhou Mi pressed kisses against his cheek. He let Zhou Mi draw back his arm, one hand cradled in Zhou Mi’s, while Zhou Mi’s free hand traced the veins of Kyuhyun’s arm.

“You are me. I said that once before,” Zhou Mi said. “You are me. And you are mine.”

That was it exactly. “Yes. I bite from only one human at a time.”

“You may not be the only vampire I’ve been bitten by any longer, but I don’t want another.”

Kyuhyun exhaled. “You will never need another.”

And it was a promise, and a truth he saw in the agreement in Zhou Mi’s eyes.

***

Zhou Mi was a touch thinner, still recovering from the Euphoria, but he was so solid under Kyuhyun’s hands. When Zhou Mi offered, Kyuhyun kissed him, flushing with warmth at Zhou Mi’s hand against his neck and the one that squirmed up under his shirt. What he had missed, there had been too many things, waiting for Zhou Mi, talking to him. Knowing that the house he existed in was Zhou Mi’s home. They were both worse for the wear for their trials, and he sighed as Zhou Mi peeled back his shirt and kissed across the tops of both shoulders.

“Where have you been,” he teased, and Zhou Mi’s eyes were smiling.

“Waiting to return to you,” Zhou Mi said. “Do you know, I dreamed of you under the Euphoria. When I dreamed of no one else, I dreamed of you. Of losing you.”

“If anyone dares touch you again-“ And Kyuhyun hissed, stripping the shirt from Zhou Mi’s arms. “You weren’t- were mine when you were dosed with my blood. If I’d have found them, I don’t think I could have stopped myself from killing them.”

“Perhaps that’s why they label it, for- No, that’s enough of that for now. I love you,” Zhou Mi said, and it was the first time Zhou Mi had said it without the thrall between them.

“I chose you,” Kyuhyun said, running his hands down Zhou Mi’s sides.

Maybe he hadn’t been the one to sit in his library and hold Zhou Mi’s hand and explain to him the dangers, the joys, the frenzy could bring to them. The benefits, perhaps, to Zhou Mi’s life. Maybe he hadn’t taken Zhou Mi’s arm and led him into that cellar to show him where Kyuhyun would wait for him. But Zhou Mi had been right because no matter if he had done those things or not, he had been holding Zhou Mi close.

Maybe it was proof that no matter how it had begun, that they had still found their way together.

And the time for words was done, instead sating himself with the warmth of Zhou Mi’s lips. He wanted nothing in the way, no cloth, no air, nothing to dissuade him from the fact that he was not dreaming. It was no hallucination he pushed onto his bed, delighted at the grin on Zhou Mi’s face and the invitation of his outstretched hands and his body both. A month, six months, it didn’t matter because Zhou Mi’s body was still so well known to him. He’d memorized the tender spots, the way to stroke to get a sigh, how to kiss to make Zhou Mi moan for him.

So warm, so hard in Kyuhyun’s hand, so giving as Kyuhyun pressed into him.

“More,” Zhou Mi urged him, and Kyuhyun felt the groan beneath his hands as he rocked his hips. He wanted his satisfaction right then, and he wanted it to last for hours.

“Smile for me,” Kyuhyun urged, as he had when Zhou Mi was under the Euphoria’s power.

But it was different, then, the way that Zhou Mi’s face changed, brilliant and for Kyuhyun alone. That was the man he had needed, in control of himself and so knowing. And Zhou Mi searched his face, cupping Kyuhyun’s neck with one hand as he stroked Kyuhyun’s back.

“Will you feed from me?” Zhou Mi asked, voice husky with the question and chin tipping ever so slightly.

He wanted words then and had none, caught in burgeoning pleasure and swamping delight at the question, the offer, the knowing that Zhou Mi was his.

Kyuhyun inhaled against Zhou Mi’s neck, feeling Zhou Mi’s fingers slip into his hair. And when he bit, Zhou Mi held him there, his hips lifting to meet Kyuhyun’s as he moaned and stroked and needed.

He came with a gasp, pressed deep in Zhou Mi’s body and full of Zhou Mi’s taste. His blood, his man. He moaned and fed, and felt Zhou Mi stroking himself even as he clutched Kyuhyun tight.

“Kyuhyun!” Zhou Mi gasped, and Kyuhyun growled into his neck. He felt Zhou Mi’s moans against his lips, against his tongue, felt Zhou MI come beneath him. He was filled with Zhou Mi’s warmth, Zhou Mi’s blood, Zhou Mi’s unevenly closed eyes as they smiled together, kissed.

And Zhou Mi tasted the blood on his lips and did not turn from him, kissing him again after Kyuhyun rose to turn down most of the lights.

It was easier to talk in the shadows and the quiet, the warmth of Zhou Mi’s neck against his face a comfort. It was something he could have never had again, the scent of Zhou Mi’s sweat and the heavy security of Zhou Mi’s arm around him. Zhou Mi wasn’t asleep, though perhaps drifting with his hand rubbing against Kyuhyun’s side. As his mind wandered, he was tracing patterns on Zhou Mi’s shoulder of no particular origin. He had so many things to say, to ask. It would have taken another hundred years to untangle all of them. He had nearly lost the will to feel anything, leaping beyond the shock of Changmin’s betrayal and Zhou Mi’s lack of understanding. Some of those paled to Zhou Mi being there.

“Now you know what vampires are urged to be cautious of,” Kyuhyun murmured. “Because there are no second chances.”

Zhou Mi hesitated. “Attachment?”

There was that, but it was not it entirely.

“Falling in love. Or perhaps lust. Some conflation of the two that ends in…this. Changmin said I was sick with love by the end, and he was right. Changmin was protecting me when we met. Making sure I would be sure of my choice.”

Zhou Mi nodded, his breath ruffling Kyuhyun’s hair. “Changmin told me almost the same, that he hadn’t objected to me personally. That made me glad.”

Kyuhyun chuckled. It would have. “I wish I could blame him for me pushing you away. But that was all of my own doing.”

It nearly rankled that to confess it would sooth some of the negative feelings between Zhou Mi and Changmin. They would be knowing each other for more years than either had anticipated, but Kyuhyun was going to hang onto at least some of his righteous anger for a while. Changmin deserved it.

“Would it have helped if I had fought back?” Zhou Mi wondered.

He wished he knew, truly. Maybe they could’ve avoided most of the upheaval, the uncertainty. But to get to where they were, there had been no way to avoid the blood frenzy. It was not something he would have wished back.

“I don’t know. But we would have ended up in this place, one way or the other. The teeth…” Kyuhyun inhaled. Another confession. “There is a price to those blood teeth, as well. You would watch people you love grow old and die, and you would watch your child die, to stay at my side. And one day, you might tire of me, and find that the world you once knew is no longer.”

“But the teeth could be removed then, and my life would spend itself as usual?”

“Yes,” Kyuhyun said.

Zhou Mi was very still beside him, considering it. It nearly caught the breath from him, waiting, with Zhou Mi’s fingers restless against his skin. To even think of Zhou Mi’s life winding away, watching Zhou Mi slip from his grasp moment by moment put the slick edge of anxiety over his stomach. He actually turned, feeling for the blood teeth to assure himself that they were there, and that was when he realized that Zhou Mi was smiling.

“You would have taken nothing from me if I chose that one day. It isn’t as though you will lock me in your room, only to emerge to an unfamiliar time. I would see it all pass, and learn with it. And you know, you might tire of me as well.”

“You think I won’t lock you up,” Kyuhyun joked, cupping Zhou Mi’s neck and lifting his head so that he could smile at Zhou Mi as well. “But that is true.”

“And I would be with you. I could still help people.”

He said both of those things as though they made him equally happy, and Kyuhyun wondered at the shiver that teased his spine.

“I think the world would be a little bit happier to have you in it.”

Zhou Mi’s eyebrows rose. “Oh really?”

“Not my world.” And Kyuhyun paused. “Maybe a little.”

Zhou Mi’s lips curved, and it was Kyuhyun’s pleasure to kiss them, feeling Zhou Mi’s warmth wrap around him. It wasn’t like the month and some weeks apart that stretched out behind them hadn’t happened, but more it had driven them even closer. That closeness was not taken for granted - savored, like the warmth against him, the stroke of Zhou Mi’s hands.

And they both startled, jerking against each other as a knock sounded on the door.

“Sir, Mr. Shim is here,” a quiet voice said.

Kyuhyun groaned, feeling Zhou Mi laugh against his neck.

“Wait here,” Kyuhyun said, and Zhou Mi waggled his fingers after him, grinning still as Kyuhyun shrugged into his dressing gown.

But Kyuhyun went only as far as the edge of the stairs, glaring down at Changmin who was looking up from the entrance below.

“Do you have pressing business?” Kyuhyun demanded.

“None of note,” Changmin asked. “How do you fare?”

“Better. And better still if I see your back leaving his house. I have time to make up with Zhou Mi.”

It got him a grin from Changmin, as he’d expected and a raised hand in salute. If Changmin had wanted proof Kyuhyun had come to his senses and kept Zhou Mi where he belonged, then he should’ve sent a note. Still, Kyuhyun waved and turned back, shedding the cloth as soon as he closed the door behind him. He hissed at Zhou Mi’s low whistle, and the chuckle at Kyuhyun’s expression.

“He didn’t need anything?”

“Just to be sure I had you naked and willing,” Kyuhyun said.

Very willing, as Zhou Mi stretched out his arm and welcomed Kyuhyun back into the bed.

***

They had given each other two nights to prepare before leaving. Zhou Mi had received a letter from Victoria, and believed her when she said that Jinyong would be ready to return as soon as Zhou Mi was willing. Kyuhyun knew that Zhou Mi was more than willing, wanting to see that ready smile and assure himself of Jinyong’s wellbeing, physically and emotionally. They had something shared between them, that experience with Euphoria. Kyuhyun didn’t think that Zhou Mi would tell Jinyong of the most terrifying images he had seen, but perhaps it would help Jinyong to speak of some of his, to purge them. It suited neither of them to leave Jinyong to fear on his own. And hearing Zhou Mi speak haltingly of some of the nightmares had been enough to put Kyuhyun’s own nerves on edge.

“You think it’ll be safe?” Kyuhyun asked, half reclining on the stuffed couch in the library.

“It will be,” Zhou Mi said and believed it. He nudged Kyuhyun over so he could have his own place, and Kyuhyun was satisfied to lean back into him. “He’ll be well looked after, and I won’t be raiding any storehouses. I’ll work for the sanitarium to gain funds, and help in other ways without putting myself in danger.”

It was all a danger, and they both knew that, but it was something at least. Kyuhyun refused to be afraid every time that Zhou Mi left the house because Zhou Mi knew how to look after himself. Knew more, even, after the attack. Kyuhyun had bought Zhou Mi a blade to secret in case, and It pleased him to know that Zhou Mi wore it.

“No more falling in with some dangerous vampire, huh.”

“Only one,” Zhou Mi teased. “And now, at least I know you won’t be unhappy if I talk to other vampires.”

It seemed his sniff was audible in the way that Zhou Mi laughed and cuddled him. No, he did not fear Zhou Mi with other vampires. But there was one matter that he had very definite opinions on.

“Whether I am at your home, or you here, I would prefer not to be apart.”

“I want that, too,” Zhou Mi said, stroking Kyuhyun’s collar. “I will have to show you my home once. I do not keep much staff. I never have. There is only one maid and a footman, and a man for the stable. I am comfortable here. In truth, if my belongings and I am here, I can open my house for those in advanced recovery from Euphoria. Another step toward normalcy.”

Of course. Zhou Mi would open his home. “Bring anything you wish. I’ll build more bookshelves. Another closet. Maybe I’ll buy a bigger bathtub.”

That was said with a finger poking into Zhou Mi’s stomach, eliciting a squirm and chuckle.

“I’d like that. The bathtub.”

“For the others… We’ll see. While we’re gone, you can have your belongings moved.”

“And you’re sure?” Zhou Mi asked softly, petting in front of Kyuhyun’s ear. “We don’t have to rush that, if you would wait.”

“I’ve waited a month too long already. And if your things are here, it’ll be harder for you to leave without me talking you out of it.”

Zhou Mi laughed and laughed, his whole body shaking against Kyuhyun’s. “Yes, that’s true.”

“And I will be able to help you in your vampire endeavors when I can.”

The sobering effect was instantaneous, Zhou Mi’s voice very firm. “Not that I would turn away your help, but my wanting to stay with you doesn’t hinge upon that.”

“Our agreement was that as long as I bit you, I would help, wasn’t it?”

Zhou Mi frowned at him, face so clearly defined in the shadows. “Yes. But-“

“I will be biting you for a very long time.”

He could feel Zhou Mi smiling against his lips, and he sealed that promise.

***

Epilogue

***