[Fic] Irresistible - 8/10 - Part 1
Title: Irresistible
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, vampire, smut, historical
Warnings: References to issues of consent (not in fic itself), fictional drug use
Summary: The streets of Zhou Mi's city are being contaminated with a new drug - Euphoria. Pure vampire blood, it causes a high unlike any other, but when the high fades, the nightmares begin. It is the spread of Euphoria that Zhou Mi fights, and in that fight he needs a partner to get him to places and people that only a vampire can.
***
Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight Pt 1 - Chapter Eight Pt 2 - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Epilogue
***
There was something unique about waking against a warm man. Not just for the heat of him, but the sound, and the smell. Even well-washed, he could press his nose to Zhou Mi’s skin and inhale, rich and comforting. Stimulating, even, and not always in a sexual way.
He had dreams, sometimes, of them in the sunlight. Zhou Mi’s back was soaked with sweat and glistening, the muscles of his chest defined, stomach taut beneath Kyuhyun’s fingers as he moved around him. He was never sure what they’d been doing. Digging, running, it didn’t matter as Zhou Mi smiled as Kyuhyun pulled his head down. He smelled of grass, and dirt, and sweat, and of the heavy afternoon air heated by the sun.
And most times when he woke, the bed was cold and empty.
But sometimes, like the night after the raid, it was so warm that he almost did not regret waking and knowing that he would never see Zhou Mi’s face in the sun. And he would never tell Zhou Mi of the dreams, either. Waking warm was the next best thing, and watching Zhou Mi wake. Creases on his cheek from the pillow and hair standing up on one side, he’d been adorable as well as arousing as he’d moved over Kyuhyun. Warmth, enveloping warmth as they wrapped themselves together.
With Zhou Mi gone, though, he cleaned himself, and dressed. Perhaps he could not help with the papers, or anywhere near the Choi house, but there were things he could do.
So he went to Changmin. But before they could do their business, he asked to see Jinyong. The boy was frighteningly small in the guest bed, lying still, almost as though dead if not for the faint rise and fall of his chest. A tiny whimper left him every so often, like a tiny puppy, and Kyuhyun smoothed his fingers over Jinyong’s forehead to soothe him. As Zhou Mi had said, he could tell that Zhou Mi had been there, because the little rabbit that they’d retrieved from Jinyong’s parents was tucked under his arm and beside his face.
“He rests easier than he did at the sanitarium,” Kyuhyun said.
“Yes, sir,” Victoria said. “Easier still than when the sun went down. Mr. Shim bit him not long before you, and it calmed him. He assured me he did not take much.”
Yes. Jinyong calming was good. But Jinyong calming because he was being weakened was not. He’d spoken to Victoria before they had brought her to Jinyong again, to make sure she would be willing to look after the boy again. Having a familiar person with Jinyong would lessen his fear, Kyuhyun hoped. But the second question Kyuhyun had asked, was whether she would be willing to go wherever Jinyong ended up. As little time as there was left in his agreement with Zhou Mi, Kyuhyun did not thing that would be back to his home. It meant that Victoria’s would become Zhou Mi’s servant, because he very much doubted that the boy would be far from Zhou Mi for long. But it would make no sense to install him in Kyuhyun’s home again, only to move him.
“Zhou Mi will be back to see you soon,” Kyuhyun told Jinyong, and smoothed his hair again. “He eats?”
“Yes, broth earlier, and I will get more when he wakes.”
“Good. Thank you. I know Zhou Mi appreciates having someone at his side since he cannot be.”
Kyuhyun left the sickroom much relieved, and looked in on the other human taken from the sanitarium, a man of thirty or so. It was good, that Changmin could feed from both. Kyuhyun wondered if Zhou Mi meant to offer payment to Changmin for it, or if the bargain had been struck already. As Changmin’s friend, as a fellow vampire, that was not deal he would insert himself in.
“The child does well,” Kyuhyun said, sprawling in one of the wide chairs in Changmin’s library.
“He does. How long had he been gone from you?”
“A week, perhaps?”
“He was too thin.”
Kyuhyun blew out a breath. “So they starved him as well. Zhou Mi was told?”
“If he doesn’t know, he will soon. I was surprised he left here. He slept at your home?”
Kyuhyun had been a bit surprised as well. He wasn’t sure if Changmin was surprised, or disappointed that he hadn’t been able to keep Zhou Mi from Kyuhyun.
“He did sleep with me. But since he was here during the day, and you were asleep, he could not have asked permission. I imagine that’s important to him. But he didn’t leave Jinyong here alone, so that undoubtedly gave him comfort. Will you be going to our Miss Choi?”
“Yes. But not tonight. Tomorrow. We’ll discuss if there is help to be had in the future.”
“She stripped almost all control from Zhou Mi last night. If the amount of information hadn’t been so great, she would have tried to lock him out entirely. So be cautious.”
“Lucky for her Zhou Mi is docile.”
Kyuhyun snorted. “More like stubborn. But smart, too. He knows what his strengths are. The men in that place were ready to fight us.”
“You won’t be able to keep him from those situations after,” Changmin told him.
“I won’t know he’s in those situations. How likely is it do you think that they’ll find another storehouse? A den for distributing? Without Zhou Mi there, no one will call on me.”
“If I’m still working with the Chois, I might.”
Kyuhyun stood, laughing half to himself. “Not if you knew Zhou Mi would be there. Good luck with her tomorrow. I have things that need to be done.”
Those did not include going back to his home, and stretching out with a book. He would write more letters for Zhou Mi, and wait for his return.
***
Zhou Mi wondered what about a sick child that was so sad. Possibilities. Joy that was being restrained. Everything in him was horrified to walk into the room Jinyong was staying in for the second time, to see him so small on the bed, so wan and still. He’d been so energetic, so curious, and brave. Everything he would be again, with time.
“How is he?” Zhou Mi asked Victoria.
“Improved. It seemed the nightmares have stopped. He’s quieted.”
That was good. Those mental scars were the ones that might be with Jinyong the longest. But they could be dealt with. With time, love, assurance. All things Zhou Mi intended to give.
“Hi Jinyong,” Zhou Mi said, sitting on the bed, and rubbing Jinyong’s arm. “You know who I am?”
Jinyong stared at him, giving no indication that he did, or that he’d even heard.
That blank stare was petrifying, and Zhou Mi needed to hold. He slid down the covers, Jinyong in his slip of a night garment, until Zhou Mi could cradle him. He was not small enough to be held like an infant, but it was nearly like holding one. A body warm and unresisting.
Zhou Mi could feel in how easy it was to pick Jinyong up, how easily he could feel the ribs in Jinyong’s sides, how frail he’d become.
“Did they even feed him?” he asked Victoria, who shook her head at him.
“I don’t know. I’ve been trying to get as much into him as I can without making him sick.”
Jinyong’s arms did not lift to hold Zhou Mi’s neck as they once might have, nor did he even move to be closer. Zhou Mi just tucked him close with a blanket around him, holding his shivering little body, and petting his hair the way that Jinyong had liked.
“Jinyong. I’m here. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let them hurt you.”
Zhou Mi didn’t really know what to do. If he were scared, he’d want people who were familiar to him. So all he could do was hold Jinyong, tell him silly stories. And when Jinyong’s whimpers stopped, his body relaxing in sleep, Zhou Mi just held him until he woke. He sang little songs, songs his mother had sang to him, until Victoria brought food for Jinyong to eat. Or rather, for Zhou Mi to feed to him, mashed up food carefully being spooned into his mouth.
“Such a good boy,” Zhou Mi crooned, stroking Jinyong’s cheek with a finger.
Jinyong whimpered at him. A glance at Victoria had him looking back.
“You know who I am?”
Jinyong whimpered again, leaning into Zhou Mi’s hand.
“Oh. Oh, sweet baby. No. Big boy. You’re such a big boy.”
It was proof to him that Jinyong was still in there, somewhere. Weak, but he was in there.
Zhou Mi stayed as long as he dared, watching a clock on the wall so that he had time enough to make it to Kyuhyun’s home so that Kyuhyun could feed. He would stay a while, and return back to Jinyong. Changmin would feed from Jinyong again, and he didn’t know if he could endure watching it again.
“I have to go awhile,” Zhou Mi said, kissing the top of Jinyong’s head. “But I’ll be back. Rest, all right?”
Zhou Mi tucked Jinyong’s rabbit near his face so he could feel it, and turned to leave before he could not force himself.
Victoria stopped him just outside of the door.
“Mr. Zhou. I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind me speaking so forwardly. I haven’t seen him so peaceful since Mr. Cho came to see him. He doesn’t blame you. He feels safe with you. When he wakes up, I know he’ll be happy to be back with you.”
“Kyuhyun came to see him?”
“Yes. Earlier tonight. He told Jinyong you would be back by him soon. But the people that hurt him, they’re the ones to blame. Not you.”
“Thank you, Victoria,” Zhou Mi told her, truly grateful. “I think I know that somewhere in me, but it’s hard to feel it when he’s so sick like this. Thank you for everything you’re doing for him. It must soothe him to have someone familiar by him. Thank you for staying near him.”
When he reached for her hand, she let him take it, squeezing back.
“Thank you for allowing me to.”
“I wish I could say longer tonight, but there are things I must do. I’ll be back in the daylight hours.”
“I think he’ll be better even then, Mr. Zhou. He grows stronger hour by hour.”
Zhou Mi hoped so. He truly did.
***
Zhou Mi was startled to see Kyuhyun in Changmin’s sitting room when he went down to tell Changmin he was leaving. Kyuhyun was dressed almost in unrelieved black, dirt on his clothes. Kyuhyun was not the most meticulous of dressers, but it put Zhou Mi’s senses on alert.
“How is he?” Kyuhyun asked.
“Better, a little. Eating. Making noises not of fear. What brings you here?”
“You, primarily,” and there was a curve to Kyuhyun’s mouth. “I’ll take you back with me. But mostly we are here to relay news from Sooyoung. We both came back from where they are keeping the men captured in the storehouse.”
“In none too lovely conditions, you’ll be happy to note,” Changmin said. “There were some disturbing things confessed by one of the prisoners.”
“Oh?” Zhou Mi asked.
“Yes,” Kyuhyun said, standing and getting closer to Zhou Mi. “That ‘they know who did it.’ Who was working on fighting the Euphoria project. How did they put it, Changmin?”
“‘The human and the vampire he’s fucking,’” Changmin put it.
“Yes. That. And that they know there was a child, meant to be a warning.”
Jinyong. Zhou Mi shook his head.
“But if not for Jinyong, we never would have found that storehouse.”
Kyuhyun chuckled. “That’s what Sooyoung told him.”
“Did he say anything about other storehouses?”
“Only that it wouldn’t matter if he did, since they would be moved before we could mobilize. But she is getting names from them. We’ll be able to trace them. The unraveling has only begun.”
“Do you think he was telling the truth? That poisoning Jinyong was a warning?” Zhou Mi wondered.
“We can’t be sure, but I don’t know how he’d have known about Jinyong otherwise.”
Zhou Mi blew out a breath. “I don’t like it. Then he could still be in danger here.”
“We can send him to my house in the country,” Changmin said. “We can send him in a day or two. He’ll be well enough to move, and he can recover there without fear of reprisal. Whatever they gave him, it wasn’t much. His body has been fighting itself clean.”
“It’s ironic that my part in this might have both saved his life and harmed him.” But Zhou Mi kept himself from pacing. “Yes. If you think he’s well enough, I think that’s good. We can send Victoria with him, and I can retrieve him when it’s safe. Though will it ever be?”
For Jinyong, if they were to stay together in safety, there was a chance he might have to step back. He imagined handing the child over to someone else, not just temporarily, and the thought froze him. There were things he could do that were not so involved. He could draft letters, contribute monetarily, or help at the sanitarium. There would be no more thrilling outings in the middle of the night, when he had a child’s safety to consider - and his own.
But in the carriage, on the way to Kyuhyun’s home, Kyuhyun spoke to him.
“Those are heavy decisions,” Kyuhyun said from beside him, and Zhou Mi looked at him, confused. “I don’t need to see into your mind to know what you’re thinking. Jinyong’s safety, yours, how you’ll be able to help while considering those things.”
“You knew I’d keep him?”
“Once he came back to you, yes. I don’t know how much you believe in fate, but for you to find him once, and be able to save his life again, that says something.”
“You agree with sending him away?”
“Yes. He can get better, and you can have a chance to organize your life for whatever comes next.”
“If he thinks I’m abandoning him again, I-“
“You’re the adult. He’s a sick little boy, and you’re doing what you think is best.”
“Giving him back to his parents seemed best, too,” Zhou Mi said, and it was bitter even to think of it.
“Don’t hold that against yourself. You couldn’t have known. And he always would have wondered, if you hadn’t.”
“I think sometimes, what if he hadn’t been dosed with Euphoria. What if they had killed him. What if. What if. The questions drive me crazy. He’s so frail. But I couldn’t forgive myself if something happened to him while we are unsure.”
“You’re putting his safety first, so stop with the questions. Will you leave again tonight?”
“No,” ZHou Mi said, and sighed heavily. “Even if you did not need to bite, I have a lot of letters to write. We need to strike on this with our patrons, with the secrets, and-“
Kyuhyun’s fingers covered his lips. “Yes. I understand. I’ll help you tomorrow. I don’t want your hand to be too fatigued.”
Zhou Mi leaned in, laughing against his cheek. “Thoughtful of you.”
“Of course. Tonight you can sleep early, so you can spend as much time with Jinyong tomorrow as possible.”
Before Jinyong would be moved, for his own safety. “Yes. Yes, that’s good. I can send Victoria for any supplies he’ll need.”
“Yes. You’re sending him away for a little while, so you won’t have to be away from him again.”
Zhou Mi kissed Kyuhyun’s neck, felt him hum, and was comforted. Having someone who understood his thoughts so well, someone he could confess his fears to without fear of being mocked. Someone who comforted him by telling him truths, and not fiction. That was everything Kyuhyun was to Zhou Mi then. It made it easy for a moment to shed his worries and fears, to touch Kyuhyun’s face and kiss him. Just the simple touch helped him.
So did the bite. Resting under Kyuhyun in Kyuhyun’s bed, listening to the sounds he made as he fed, made him feel so much at ease.
How ironic. Kyuhyun was taking a bit of his life away, and Zhou Mi felt like he was being given something. And he was. A man with solid bones. Every bit of him a man, down to the hairs on his chest as Zhou Mi rested his face there as Kyuhyun cupped his jaw with a hand and held him.
It had not been part of their agreement, the touch, or the talking. But as Zhou Mi listened to Kyuhyun breathe, listened to his heart slow, he wondered if it had been one of the most important things.
***
When Kyuhyun woke alone two nights in a row, he was not surprised. Zhou Mi would be with Jinyong, as another night of Changmin’s feeding had cleared Jinyong’s blood, making him free to travel. He knew the carriage bearing Jinyong and Victoria from the city would be stopping at Kyuhyun’s home to let Zhou Mi off. He wasn’t sure if he would need to keep Zhou Mi from running after the carriage, but he didn’t believe so. Zhou Mi had made his decision, a wise one, and all there was left was to see it through. Kyuhyun would help Zhou Mi to that end as long as he could.
Though the time for which he would be doing so beside Zhou Mi grew shorter.
Zhou Mi was sending Jinyong for a little while. They would part, and then be reunited. The same could not be said for when his agreement with Zhou Mi ended. There would be no temporary parting. It would end, and they would move on, trying to see as little of each other as possible. It was not a small city, and they had not had opportunity to cross paths before Zhou Mi had sought him out. So the same would be true after.
Kyuhyun stayed seated at the knock on the door, and as as Changmin entered the room. He was in his riding clothes, so how he had arrived was not in question.
“What do you need?” Kyuhyun asked, as Changmin came to stand in front of the desk.
“To see how you are. The carriage with Jinyong and Zhou Mi is not far behind me.”
“I’m fine. Why the sudden concern?”
“Only that I might have accompanied the boy to the country, had I not known your time was growing short with Zhou Mi.”
Kyuhyun frowned up at Changmin. He wasn’t sure if he should be touched or insulted. “Do you think I won’t be able to send him away on my own?”
“I don’t know. Will you?”
“Thirty days is so short, there should be no problem,” Kyuhyun said, leaning back into his chair. If Changmin was needling him, he could needle back. “Though, there was one day I didn’t feed-“
“He can’t stay, Kyuhyun. Stop making excuses.”
“I’m not,” he said, and chuckled. “I’m simply trying to make sure I get my full end of the bargain.”
“I’d say you got far more than you needed,” Changmin said, his voice grim. “Do you think I don’t see…?”
“I know what you must imagine,” Kyuhyun shot back.
“Bite him twice tonight, put him in a carriage, and call yourself even at the end of this agreement. The more you let him stay, the more-”
“My bed will feel cold if he stays one night or a hundred nights. I think I hear the carriage.”
“Kyuhyun-“
“Do you trust me?” Kyuhyun broke in.
He’d dealt with Changmin’s warnings, his interruptions, his meddling, for nearly the entire month. At some point, Changmin would try to make him so angry that he would do as Changmin asked. It wasn’t as though he was lying to Changmin. To Zhou Mi. But his bed would be cold whether Zhou Mi slept in it the rest of the week or not. And he saw no reason to do without.
“I trust you,” Changmin said, and he put his hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder as Kyuhyun stepped up beside him. There was more to that, Kyuhyun knew.
“Kyuhyun. If it was what you truly wanted, I’d support you. You know that, right?”
“I know. But you don’t think it’s wise.”
Changmin shook his head. “It is not me that would make that choice. You would have to be sure. That’s why I push you so hard. If you push back, perhaps you will be able to make yourself sure. He doesn’t know?”
Kyuhyun tried to imagine telling Zhou Mi of the biggest secret a vampire could have. It was as though he’d swallowed ice, wrapped in something he couldn’t put to name. Longing, maybe.
“I’ve told him nothing. Let’s go.”
He was not truly angry, but he knew Changmin’s concern was true. There were times he wondered. But that night was not the night to consider those things.
***
There was nothing more heartbreaking than the tears of a child. Even after spending the whole of the second day with Jinyong, climbing down out of the carriage after having spent the whole ride with Jinyong in his arms, he was breaking inside as he sat Jinyong back into the seat on his own and stepped down onto the sidewalk. Kyuhyun and Changmin had been waiting for them, but his focus was on Jinyong.
“Don’t send me away,” Jinyong begged, his body weak and eyes hollow as Victoria soothed Jinyong from the side. “Don’t make me go back there.”
Jinyong squirmed, too ill to do much, and Zhou Mi leaned in to catch him and press him back. There was nothing more that Changmin could do for him in biting him. The Euphoria was gone from him, and all there was left was for him to heal.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you can’t stay with me right now, but I’m not sending you away forever.”
“Zhou Mi, please! I don’t want to go to my parents. I want to stay with you.”
“No. You won’t ever have to see your parents again,” Zhou Mi promised. “You’ll be with your nanny, and I’ll come for you when it’s safe. When it’s safe, you can stay with me. You won’t ever have to leave. I promise you. I need you to be brave just a little while longer. Okay?”
He wiped a tear from Jinyong’s cheek, took in his shadowed eyes and felt his heart breaking.
“Okay,” Jinyong croaked.
There was a touch to Zhou Mi’s side and he startled, only to see Kyuhyun squeezing up beside him.
“You can believe him,” Kyuhyun said, his voice low and soft as he touched Jinyong’s hair. But Zhou Mi could see, very careful not to touch Jinyong’s skin to create the thrall. “He’ll miss you every moment. But you’ll be happier for a little while where you can run around in the sun.”
Jinyong nodded, miserable.
“Do you have a toy, maybe a little stuffed dog, or a bear…? Oh, he’s handsome,” Kyuhyun said, as Victoria handed Jinyong a little bear from his bag. “Your favorite is the bunny, right?”
Jinyong nodded again. “Yes.”
“Whenever you miss Zhou Mi or are scared, you should hug your bunny and think of him. Maybe… Maybe you can leave this bear with Zhou Mi. That way he has something to hug when he’s missing you. And then you know, no matter what, he has to come to get you so he can bring your bear back to you.”
It was hard to say the emotions running through him as he met Jinyong’s eyes and saw his trembling chin. And with both hands, Zhou Mi accepted the offered bear.
“Just for a while, until it’s safe,” Zhou Mi said. “I’ll protect him for you. Look after your nanny, too, yes?”
“Okay.”
Kyuhyun reached through again, and handed Jinyong something wrapped in cloth. “A cookie, for your trip.”
Jinyong smiled, a tiny curling of lips. And he could hear Kyuhyun’s sharp inhale. And Kyuhyun stepped back, pushing Zhou Mi forward to say goodbye. All he could do was hug Jinyong and cuddle his fragile body.
“I love you. I’ll send letters, and we’ll be together as soon as we can. I promise.”
Jinyong whimpered and nodded against Zhou Mi’s head.
And it was slow, pulling back and squeezing Jinyong’s hand, and showing him he was still holding the bear that Jinyong had given him. He stepped back, beyond the range of the carriage wheels, untying his horse from the back. He could only watch as Victoria took her place beside Jinyong to soothe him as silent tears ran down his face. It was only blissful luck that kept Zhou Mi from doing the same, and Kyuhyun’s hand tight on his shoulder.
“See you soon,” he called as the carriage began to move. “Be good, Jinyong!”
His voice cracked on the end of Jinyong’s name, and he waved, until the carriage had turned the corner and was out of sight. And all he had was a little stuffed bear, and hope that he was doing the right thing.
“He’ll be safe. She’ll look after him well,” Kyuhyun said.
Yes, that was true. He knew that beyond a doubt.
“They’ll rest overnight in an inn tomorrow,” Changmin said, “and make it to my estate the day after.”
“Thank you,” Zhou Mi interrupted him. “For all you did for him. For me. For everyone involved.”
“It was-“
Changmin was as stiff as a board, as Zhou Mi wrapped his arms around him. It was not a long hug, mere moments in reality, but it had been necessary.
Changmin cleared his throat, straightening his jacket. “I should go, then.”
“Not going to stay and harass us tonight?” Kyuhyun teased.
“I have better things to do,” Changmin retorted. “You know my reservations. I’ll check in with you again tomorrow.”
Changmin merely waved, as he made for his horse.
“He got a hug,” Kyuhyun said, making suspicious eyes at Zhou Mi.
“Yes. You get more than that,” Zhou Mi said.
Though of course, by Kyuhyun’s squeak, he hadn’t expected Zhou Mi to enfold him right there.
“We’re on the street.”
“Mmhmm,” Zhou Mi murmured, nuzzling into Kyuhyun’s neck and finding himself steady. “You.”
“Me?”
Kyuhyun had given Jinyong a cookie. He’d suggested Jinyong give Zhou Mi the bear, so there would be a connection, one that Jinyong would remember.
“You are wonderful.”
“I knew that,” Kyuhyun joked, but the sound of it was weak. Kyuhyun’s arms tightened around him, and he could never have let go. Just to bask in Kyuhyun’s scent and the feel of Kyuhyun solid against him, holding him. If only for the cold, that was. It was making him begin to shiver, and he knew it had to be seeping into Kyuhyun as well.
“Let’s go warm ourselves by the fire,” Kyuhyun suggested.
And then in each other. It would not take away the pain, but he would know he was not alone. There was work to do, and there was not much time to be borrowed.
***
Part Two
***
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, vampire, smut, historical
Warnings: References to issues of consent (not in fic itself), fictional drug use
Summary: The streets of Zhou Mi's city are being contaminated with a new drug - Euphoria. Pure vampire blood, it causes a high unlike any other, but when the high fades, the nightmares begin. It is the spread of Euphoria that Zhou Mi fights, and in that fight he needs a partner to get him to places and people that only a vampire can.
***
Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight Pt 1 - Chapter Eight Pt 2 - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Epilogue
***
There was something unique about waking against a warm man. Not just for the heat of him, but the sound, and the smell. Even well-washed, he could press his nose to Zhou Mi’s skin and inhale, rich and comforting. Stimulating, even, and not always in a sexual way.
He had dreams, sometimes, of them in the sunlight. Zhou Mi’s back was soaked with sweat and glistening, the muscles of his chest defined, stomach taut beneath Kyuhyun’s fingers as he moved around him. He was never sure what they’d been doing. Digging, running, it didn’t matter as Zhou Mi smiled as Kyuhyun pulled his head down. He smelled of grass, and dirt, and sweat, and of the heavy afternoon air heated by the sun.
And most times when he woke, the bed was cold and empty.
But sometimes, like the night after the raid, it was so warm that he almost did not regret waking and knowing that he would never see Zhou Mi’s face in the sun. And he would never tell Zhou Mi of the dreams, either. Waking warm was the next best thing, and watching Zhou Mi wake. Creases on his cheek from the pillow and hair standing up on one side, he’d been adorable as well as arousing as he’d moved over Kyuhyun. Warmth, enveloping warmth as they wrapped themselves together.
With Zhou Mi gone, though, he cleaned himself, and dressed. Perhaps he could not help with the papers, or anywhere near the Choi house, but there were things he could do.
So he went to Changmin. But before they could do their business, he asked to see Jinyong. The boy was frighteningly small in the guest bed, lying still, almost as though dead if not for the faint rise and fall of his chest. A tiny whimper left him every so often, like a tiny puppy, and Kyuhyun smoothed his fingers over Jinyong’s forehead to soothe him. As Zhou Mi had said, he could tell that Zhou Mi had been there, because the little rabbit that they’d retrieved from Jinyong’s parents was tucked under his arm and beside his face.
“He rests easier than he did at the sanitarium,” Kyuhyun said.
“Yes, sir,” Victoria said. “Easier still than when the sun went down. Mr. Shim bit him not long before you, and it calmed him. He assured me he did not take much.”
Yes. Jinyong calming was good. But Jinyong calming because he was being weakened was not. He’d spoken to Victoria before they had brought her to Jinyong again, to make sure she would be willing to look after the boy again. Having a familiar person with Jinyong would lessen his fear, Kyuhyun hoped. But the second question Kyuhyun had asked, was whether she would be willing to go wherever Jinyong ended up. As little time as there was left in his agreement with Zhou Mi, Kyuhyun did not thing that would be back to his home. It meant that Victoria’s would become Zhou Mi’s servant, because he very much doubted that the boy would be far from Zhou Mi for long. But it would make no sense to install him in Kyuhyun’s home again, only to move him.
“Zhou Mi will be back to see you soon,” Kyuhyun told Jinyong, and smoothed his hair again. “He eats?”
“Yes, broth earlier, and I will get more when he wakes.”
“Good. Thank you. I know Zhou Mi appreciates having someone at his side since he cannot be.”
Kyuhyun left the sickroom much relieved, and looked in on the other human taken from the sanitarium, a man of thirty or so. It was good, that Changmin could feed from both. Kyuhyun wondered if Zhou Mi meant to offer payment to Changmin for it, or if the bargain had been struck already. As Changmin’s friend, as a fellow vampire, that was not deal he would insert himself in.
“The child does well,” Kyuhyun said, sprawling in one of the wide chairs in Changmin’s library.
“He does. How long had he been gone from you?”
“A week, perhaps?”
“He was too thin.”
Kyuhyun blew out a breath. “So they starved him as well. Zhou Mi was told?”
“If he doesn’t know, he will soon. I was surprised he left here. He slept at your home?”
Kyuhyun had been a bit surprised as well. He wasn’t sure if Changmin was surprised, or disappointed that he hadn’t been able to keep Zhou Mi from Kyuhyun.
“He did sleep with me. But since he was here during the day, and you were asleep, he could not have asked permission. I imagine that’s important to him. But he didn’t leave Jinyong here alone, so that undoubtedly gave him comfort. Will you be going to our Miss Choi?”
“Yes. But not tonight. Tomorrow. We’ll discuss if there is help to be had in the future.”
“She stripped almost all control from Zhou Mi last night. If the amount of information hadn’t been so great, she would have tried to lock him out entirely. So be cautious.”
“Lucky for her Zhou Mi is docile.”
Kyuhyun snorted. “More like stubborn. But smart, too. He knows what his strengths are. The men in that place were ready to fight us.”
“You won’t be able to keep him from those situations after,” Changmin told him.
“I won’t know he’s in those situations. How likely is it do you think that they’ll find another storehouse? A den for distributing? Without Zhou Mi there, no one will call on me.”
“If I’m still working with the Chois, I might.”
Kyuhyun stood, laughing half to himself. “Not if you knew Zhou Mi would be there. Good luck with her tomorrow. I have things that need to be done.”
Those did not include going back to his home, and stretching out with a book. He would write more letters for Zhou Mi, and wait for his return.
***
Zhou Mi wondered what about a sick child that was so sad. Possibilities. Joy that was being restrained. Everything in him was horrified to walk into the room Jinyong was staying in for the second time, to see him so small on the bed, so wan and still. He’d been so energetic, so curious, and brave. Everything he would be again, with time.
“How is he?” Zhou Mi asked Victoria.
“Improved. It seemed the nightmares have stopped. He’s quieted.”
That was good. Those mental scars were the ones that might be with Jinyong the longest. But they could be dealt with. With time, love, assurance. All things Zhou Mi intended to give.
“Hi Jinyong,” Zhou Mi said, sitting on the bed, and rubbing Jinyong’s arm. “You know who I am?”
Jinyong stared at him, giving no indication that he did, or that he’d even heard.
That blank stare was petrifying, and Zhou Mi needed to hold. He slid down the covers, Jinyong in his slip of a night garment, until Zhou Mi could cradle him. He was not small enough to be held like an infant, but it was nearly like holding one. A body warm and unresisting.
Zhou Mi could feel in how easy it was to pick Jinyong up, how easily he could feel the ribs in Jinyong’s sides, how frail he’d become.
“Did they even feed him?” he asked Victoria, who shook her head at him.
“I don’t know. I’ve been trying to get as much into him as I can without making him sick.”
Jinyong’s arms did not lift to hold Zhou Mi’s neck as they once might have, nor did he even move to be closer. Zhou Mi just tucked him close with a blanket around him, holding his shivering little body, and petting his hair the way that Jinyong had liked.
“Jinyong. I’m here. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let them hurt you.”
Zhou Mi didn’t really know what to do. If he were scared, he’d want people who were familiar to him. So all he could do was hold Jinyong, tell him silly stories. And when Jinyong’s whimpers stopped, his body relaxing in sleep, Zhou Mi just held him until he woke. He sang little songs, songs his mother had sang to him, until Victoria brought food for Jinyong to eat. Or rather, for Zhou Mi to feed to him, mashed up food carefully being spooned into his mouth.
“Such a good boy,” Zhou Mi crooned, stroking Jinyong’s cheek with a finger.
Jinyong whimpered at him. A glance at Victoria had him looking back.
“You know who I am?”
Jinyong whimpered again, leaning into Zhou Mi’s hand.
“Oh. Oh, sweet baby. No. Big boy. You’re such a big boy.”
It was proof to him that Jinyong was still in there, somewhere. Weak, but he was in there.
Zhou Mi stayed as long as he dared, watching a clock on the wall so that he had time enough to make it to Kyuhyun’s home so that Kyuhyun could feed. He would stay a while, and return back to Jinyong. Changmin would feed from Jinyong again, and he didn’t know if he could endure watching it again.
“I have to go awhile,” Zhou Mi said, kissing the top of Jinyong’s head. “But I’ll be back. Rest, all right?”
Zhou Mi tucked Jinyong’s rabbit near his face so he could feel it, and turned to leave before he could not force himself.
Victoria stopped him just outside of the door.
“Mr. Zhou. I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind me speaking so forwardly. I haven’t seen him so peaceful since Mr. Cho came to see him. He doesn’t blame you. He feels safe with you. When he wakes up, I know he’ll be happy to be back with you.”
“Kyuhyun came to see him?”
“Yes. Earlier tonight. He told Jinyong you would be back by him soon. But the people that hurt him, they’re the ones to blame. Not you.”
“Thank you, Victoria,” Zhou Mi told her, truly grateful. “I think I know that somewhere in me, but it’s hard to feel it when he’s so sick like this. Thank you for everything you’re doing for him. It must soothe him to have someone familiar by him. Thank you for staying near him.”
When he reached for her hand, she let him take it, squeezing back.
“Thank you for allowing me to.”
“I wish I could say longer tonight, but there are things I must do. I’ll be back in the daylight hours.”
“I think he’ll be better even then, Mr. Zhou. He grows stronger hour by hour.”
Zhou Mi hoped so. He truly did.
***
Zhou Mi was startled to see Kyuhyun in Changmin’s sitting room when he went down to tell Changmin he was leaving. Kyuhyun was dressed almost in unrelieved black, dirt on his clothes. Kyuhyun was not the most meticulous of dressers, but it put Zhou Mi’s senses on alert.
“How is he?” Kyuhyun asked.
“Better, a little. Eating. Making noises not of fear. What brings you here?”
“You, primarily,” and there was a curve to Kyuhyun’s mouth. “I’ll take you back with me. But mostly we are here to relay news from Sooyoung. We both came back from where they are keeping the men captured in the storehouse.”
“In none too lovely conditions, you’ll be happy to note,” Changmin said. “There were some disturbing things confessed by one of the prisoners.”
“Oh?” Zhou Mi asked.
“Yes,” Kyuhyun said, standing and getting closer to Zhou Mi. “That ‘they know who did it.’ Who was working on fighting the Euphoria project. How did they put it, Changmin?”
“‘The human and the vampire he’s fucking,’” Changmin put it.
“Yes. That. And that they know there was a child, meant to be a warning.”
Jinyong. Zhou Mi shook his head.
“But if not for Jinyong, we never would have found that storehouse.”
Kyuhyun chuckled. “That’s what Sooyoung told him.”
“Did he say anything about other storehouses?”
“Only that it wouldn’t matter if he did, since they would be moved before we could mobilize. But she is getting names from them. We’ll be able to trace them. The unraveling has only begun.”
“Do you think he was telling the truth? That poisoning Jinyong was a warning?” Zhou Mi wondered.
“We can’t be sure, but I don’t know how he’d have known about Jinyong otherwise.”
Zhou Mi blew out a breath. “I don’t like it. Then he could still be in danger here.”
“We can send him to my house in the country,” Changmin said. “We can send him in a day or two. He’ll be well enough to move, and he can recover there without fear of reprisal. Whatever they gave him, it wasn’t much. His body has been fighting itself clean.”
“It’s ironic that my part in this might have both saved his life and harmed him.” But Zhou Mi kept himself from pacing. “Yes. If you think he’s well enough, I think that’s good. We can send Victoria with him, and I can retrieve him when it’s safe. Though will it ever be?”
For Jinyong, if they were to stay together in safety, there was a chance he might have to step back. He imagined handing the child over to someone else, not just temporarily, and the thought froze him. There were things he could do that were not so involved. He could draft letters, contribute monetarily, or help at the sanitarium. There would be no more thrilling outings in the middle of the night, when he had a child’s safety to consider - and his own.
But in the carriage, on the way to Kyuhyun’s home, Kyuhyun spoke to him.
“Those are heavy decisions,” Kyuhyun said from beside him, and Zhou Mi looked at him, confused. “I don’t need to see into your mind to know what you’re thinking. Jinyong’s safety, yours, how you’ll be able to help while considering those things.”
“You knew I’d keep him?”
“Once he came back to you, yes. I don’t know how much you believe in fate, but for you to find him once, and be able to save his life again, that says something.”
“You agree with sending him away?”
“Yes. He can get better, and you can have a chance to organize your life for whatever comes next.”
“If he thinks I’m abandoning him again, I-“
“You’re the adult. He’s a sick little boy, and you’re doing what you think is best.”
“Giving him back to his parents seemed best, too,” Zhou Mi said, and it was bitter even to think of it.
“Don’t hold that against yourself. You couldn’t have known. And he always would have wondered, if you hadn’t.”
“I think sometimes, what if he hadn’t been dosed with Euphoria. What if they had killed him. What if. What if. The questions drive me crazy. He’s so frail. But I couldn’t forgive myself if something happened to him while we are unsure.”
“You’re putting his safety first, so stop with the questions. Will you leave again tonight?”
“No,” ZHou Mi said, and sighed heavily. “Even if you did not need to bite, I have a lot of letters to write. We need to strike on this with our patrons, with the secrets, and-“
Kyuhyun’s fingers covered his lips. “Yes. I understand. I’ll help you tomorrow. I don’t want your hand to be too fatigued.”
Zhou Mi leaned in, laughing against his cheek. “Thoughtful of you.”
“Of course. Tonight you can sleep early, so you can spend as much time with Jinyong tomorrow as possible.”
Before Jinyong would be moved, for his own safety. “Yes. Yes, that’s good. I can send Victoria for any supplies he’ll need.”
“Yes. You’re sending him away for a little while, so you won’t have to be away from him again.”
Zhou Mi kissed Kyuhyun’s neck, felt him hum, and was comforted. Having someone who understood his thoughts so well, someone he could confess his fears to without fear of being mocked. Someone who comforted him by telling him truths, and not fiction. That was everything Kyuhyun was to Zhou Mi then. It made it easy for a moment to shed his worries and fears, to touch Kyuhyun’s face and kiss him. Just the simple touch helped him.
So did the bite. Resting under Kyuhyun in Kyuhyun’s bed, listening to the sounds he made as he fed, made him feel so much at ease.
How ironic. Kyuhyun was taking a bit of his life away, and Zhou Mi felt like he was being given something. And he was. A man with solid bones. Every bit of him a man, down to the hairs on his chest as Zhou Mi rested his face there as Kyuhyun cupped his jaw with a hand and held him.
It had not been part of their agreement, the touch, or the talking. But as Zhou Mi listened to Kyuhyun breathe, listened to his heart slow, he wondered if it had been one of the most important things.
***
When Kyuhyun woke alone two nights in a row, he was not surprised. Zhou Mi would be with Jinyong, as another night of Changmin’s feeding had cleared Jinyong’s blood, making him free to travel. He knew the carriage bearing Jinyong and Victoria from the city would be stopping at Kyuhyun’s home to let Zhou Mi off. He wasn’t sure if he would need to keep Zhou Mi from running after the carriage, but he didn’t believe so. Zhou Mi had made his decision, a wise one, and all there was left was to see it through. Kyuhyun would help Zhou Mi to that end as long as he could.
Though the time for which he would be doing so beside Zhou Mi grew shorter.
Zhou Mi was sending Jinyong for a little while. They would part, and then be reunited. The same could not be said for when his agreement with Zhou Mi ended. There would be no temporary parting. It would end, and they would move on, trying to see as little of each other as possible. It was not a small city, and they had not had opportunity to cross paths before Zhou Mi had sought him out. So the same would be true after.
Kyuhyun stayed seated at the knock on the door, and as as Changmin entered the room. He was in his riding clothes, so how he had arrived was not in question.
“What do you need?” Kyuhyun asked, as Changmin came to stand in front of the desk.
“To see how you are. The carriage with Jinyong and Zhou Mi is not far behind me.”
“I’m fine. Why the sudden concern?”
“Only that I might have accompanied the boy to the country, had I not known your time was growing short with Zhou Mi.”
Kyuhyun frowned up at Changmin. He wasn’t sure if he should be touched or insulted. “Do you think I won’t be able to send him away on my own?”
“I don’t know. Will you?”
“Thirty days is so short, there should be no problem,” Kyuhyun said, leaning back into his chair. If Changmin was needling him, he could needle back. “Though, there was one day I didn’t feed-“
“He can’t stay, Kyuhyun. Stop making excuses.”
“I’m not,” he said, and chuckled. “I’m simply trying to make sure I get my full end of the bargain.”
“I’d say you got far more than you needed,” Changmin said, his voice grim. “Do you think I don’t see…?”
“I know what you must imagine,” Kyuhyun shot back.
“Bite him twice tonight, put him in a carriage, and call yourself even at the end of this agreement. The more you let him stay, the more-”
“My bed will feel cold if he stays one night or a hundred nights. I think I hear the carriage.”
“Kyuhyun-“
“Do you trust me?” Kyuhyun broke in.
He’d dealt with Changmin’s warnings, his interruptions, his meddling, for nearly the entire month. At some point, Changmin would try to make him so angry that he would do as Changmin asked. It wasn’t as though he was lying to Changmin. To Zhou Mi. But his bed would be cold whether Zhou Mi slept in it the rest of the week or not. And he saw no reason to do without.
“I trust you,” Changmin said, and he put his hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder as Kyuhyun stepped up beside him. There was more to that, Kyuhyun knew.
“Kyuhyun. If it was what you truly wanted, I’d support you. You know that, right?”
“I know. But you don’t think it’s wise.”
Changmin shook his head. “It is not me that would make that choice. You would have to be sure. That’s why I push you so hard. If you push back, perhaps you will be able to make yourself sure. He doesn’t know?”
Kyuhyun tried to imagine telling Zhou Mi of the biggest secret a vampire could have. It was as though he’d swallowed ice, wrapped in something he couldn’t put to name. Longing, maybe.
“I’ve told him nothing. Let’s go.”
He was not truly angry, but he knew Changmin’s concern was true. There were times he wondered. But that night was not the night to consider those things.
***
There was nothing more heartbreaking than the tears of a child. Even after spending the whole of the second day with Jinyong, climbing down out of the carriage after having spent the whole ride with Jinyong in his arms, he was breaking inside as he sat Jinyong back into the seat on his own and stepped down onto the sidewalk. Kyuhyun and Changmin had been waiting for them, but his focus was on Jinyong.
“Don’t send me away,” Jinyong begged, his body weak and eyes hollow as Victoria soothed Jinyong from the side. “Don’t make me go back there.”
Jinyong squirmed, too ill to do much, and Zhou Mi leaned in to catch him and press him back. There was nothing more that Changmin could do for him in biting him. The Euphoria was gone from him, and all there was left was for him to heal.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you can’t stay with me right now, but I’m not sending you away forever.”
“Zhou Mi, please! I don’t want to go to my parents. I want to stay with you.”
“No. You won’t ever have to see your parents again,” Zhou Mi promised. “You’ll be with your nanny, and I’ll come for you when it’s safe. When it’s safe, you can stay with me. You won’t ever have to leave. I promise you. I need you to be brave just a little while longer. Okay?”
He wiped a tear from Jinyong’s cheek, took in his shadowed eyes and felt his heart breaking.
“Okay,” Jinyong croaked.
There was a touch to Zhou Mi’s side and he startled, only to see Kyuhyun squeezing up beside him.
“You can believe him,” Kyuhyun said, his voice low and soft as he touched Jinyong’s hair. But Zhou Mi could see, very careful not to touch Jinyong’s skin to create the thrall. “He’ll miss you every moment. But you’ll be happier for a little while where you can run around in the sun.”
Jinyong nodded, miserable.
“Do you have a toy, maybe a little stuffed dog, or a bear…? Oh, he’s handsome,” Kyuhyun said, as Victoria handed Jinyong a little bear from his bag. “Your favorite is the bunny, right?”
Jinyong nodded again. “Yes.”
“Whenever you miss Zhou Mi or are scared, you should hug your bunny and think of him. Maybe… Maybe you can leave this bear with Zhou Mi. That way he has something to hug when he’s missing you. And then you know, no matter what, he has to come to get you so he can bring your bear back to you.”
It was hard to say the emotions running through him as he met Jinyong’s eyes and saw his trembling chin. And with both hands, Zhou Mi accepted the offered bear.
“Just for a while, until it’s safe,” Zhou Mi said. “I’ll protect him for you. Look after your nanny, too, yes?”
“Okay.”
Kyuhyun reached through again, and handed Jinyong something wrapped in cloth. “A cookie, for your trip.”
Jinyong smiled, a tiny curling of lips. And he could hear Kyuhyun’s sharp inhale. And Kyuhyun stepped back, pushing Zhou Mi forward to say goodbye. All he could do was hug Jinyong and cuddle his fragile body.
“I love you. I’ll send letters, and we’ll be together as soon as we can. I promise.”
Jinyong whimpered and nodded against Zhou Mi’s head.
And it was slow, pulling back and squeezing Jinyong’s hand, and showing him he was still holding the bear that Jinyong had given him. He stepped back, beyond the range of the carriage wheels, untying his horse from the back. He could only watch as Victoria took her place beside Jinyong to soothe him as silent tears ran down his face. It was only blissful luck that kept Zhou Mi from doing the same, and Kyuhyun’s hand tight on his shoulder.
“See you soon,” he called as the carriage began to move. “Be good, Jinyong!”
His voice cracked on the end of Jinyong’s name, and he waved, until the carriage had turned the corner and was out of sight. And all he had was a little stuffed bear, and hope that he was doing the right thing.
“He’ll be safe. She’ll look after him well,” Kyuhyun said.
Yes, that was true. He knew that beyond a doubt.
“They’ll rest overnight in an inn tomorrow,” Changmin said, “and make it to my estate the day after.”
“Thank you,” Zhou Mi interrupted him. “For all you did for him. For me. For everyone involved.”
“It was-“
Changmin was as stiff as a board, as Zhou Mi wrapped his arms around him. It was not a long hug, mere moments in reality, but it had been necessary.
Changmin cleared his throat, straightening his jacket. “I should go, then.”
“Not going to stay and harass us tonight?” Kyuhyun teased.
“I have better things to do,” Changmin retorted. “You know my reservations. I’ll check in with you again tomorrow.”
Changmin merely waved, as he made for his horse.
“He got a hug,” Kyuhyun said, making suspicious eyes at Zhou Mi.
“Yes. You get more than that,” Zhou Mi said.
Though of course, by Kyuhyun’s squeak, he hadn’t expected Zhou Mi to enfold him right there.
“We’re on the street.”
“Mmhmm,” Zhou Mi murmured, nuzzling into Kyuhyun’s neck and finding himself steady. “You.”
“Me?”
Kyuhyun had given Jinyong a cookie. He’d suggested Jinyong give Zhou Mi the bear, so there would be a connection, one that Jinyong would remember.
“You are wonderful.”
“I knew that,” Kyuhyun joked, but the sound of it was weak. Kyuhyun’s arms tightened around him, and he could never have let go. Just to bask in Kyuhyun’s scent and the feel of Kyuhyun solid against him, holding him. If only for the cold, that was. It was making him begin to shiver, and he knew it had to be seeping into Kyuhyun as well.
“Let’s go warm ourselves by the fire,” Kyuhyun suggested.
And then in each other. It would not take away the pain, but he would know he was not alone. There was work to do, and there was not much time to be borrowed.
***
Part Two
***