[Fic] The Good Ship - 1/1
Title: The Good Ship
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Tablo/Girl!Eunhyuk
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Girl!Hyuk
Summary: Friends, fun, and sun with the rest of her university class. A one week cruise, where the entertainment is anything but ordinary.
***
There was something to be said for being caught up in the music, craning her head to see around waving hands and jumping bodies. Close enough to the stage that the bass was bumping in her chest. Right against the stage in fact, since her friends had angled there, needing that close-up look at the evening's entertainment. Not some staid and boring singer like some cruises had, this one was definitely aimed toward the younger crowd, and the energy of the lyrics nearly sang through the crowd. She all but froze, staring, as the singer, rapper, got closer to their side, his hand moving, the one not holding the mic. He smiled out into the crowd, pointing, the smugness of his words conveying through his face. Her friends jostled her, screaming, their hands going up as though he would notice them, like that was possible. And for a moment, it was true. Because he hadn't noticed them. But as her breath bottled up, hand frozen in the air, she realized that his eyes were very much on her.
His knee met the stage and she wanted to fall back, but there were too many people smashing her into the stage. Too busy trying to figure out what she was going to do to keep from getting killed to avoid what happened next. His hand, grabbing her flailing hand, and suddenly the crowd backed off enough to let her breathe, or at least get feeling back in her fingers from where he was holding them. She gulped, going between staring at his hand holding hers or at his face. That moment where his head bobbed with the music, not making a sound, just taking her in, before lifting his mic again. And then it wasn't just in front of her, it was to her. And none of the squealing around her registered, too caught up in the surreality surrounding her. Is this your life? Her face had all but melted with the blush by the time he kissed her fingers, standing with a wink and a hop, working his way back down the crowd to touch hands and engage them, too. But she was still in shock, elbowed by her friends shrieking about how lucky she was. Lucky? What did luck have to do with it?
***
It was just vacation, nothing big. A cruise set up by her school. Entertainment organized, friends were procured. They were two to a room, and even if it was just a college-organized event, it felt almost glamorous. Sure, they were adults, but they were out on the water, on one of their first real vacations. There were school officials there, of course, to make sure things didn’t get too out of hand. But it wasn’t like it was summer camp. There were no counselors telling them when to go to bed. As long as they followed the rules of the ship, and acted in general like respectful human beings.
They’d known for weeks who was going to be on ship for their entertainment. A rapper, for one, and a duo of singers also. Giving a little bit of diversity. It had given them plenty of time to check out the music, and who they were, and maybe fall into a little bit of a crush with the artists. Her friends, all three of them, had fallen for singers. It hadn’t been just wanting to be perverse, but she’d gladly thrown her consideration at the rapper, Tablo, instead. She liked his pictures, and his music, and his entries online. Many of those had made her laugh. And everyone always had little fantasies. What’d happen if they met a celebrity, that instant connection, attraction. It wasn’t like she was different. She had all of those, too. The things they had in common, love of music, family. She imagined just sitting and talking, hand holding. Him going in for a kiss.
And that was before they’d even gotten to the ship. Mostly it told her she might want to get a real boyfriend, and stop obsessing about a guy who wouldn’t look twice at her. And how would he, among all the coeds around her? Curvier girls, taller girls, prettier girls. She resisted the urge to touch her ponytail, and then shrug because she knew she looked good in her bikini covered by a floaty sundress. And she wasn’t there to snag a guy, much less a famous one. Or famous enough. She was there to have fun, maybe sunbathe, and make memories with her friends. Definitely all of the above.
Opening night, the singers. Amidst the roving crowd, she was happy. Shouting along, drinking when they could snag a table to collapse exhaustedly at. There were fireworks, and music over the water. The stars were shining, wind warm. And her friends had their arms around her as they swayed back and forth and tried to croon with the duo on stage.
Eunhyuk had been worried about whether she’d been able to sleep on the ship. She had all kinds of motion sickness pills, in case, but she slept like a baby. Even after all that excitement, and boogieing around the room in their pajamas and making plans. Slightly hung over the next morning, but a pot of tea, and a huge breakfast had revived her.
It was the perfect weather to be out. She swam until she couldn’t take it any more, warming herself in a pool chair. Dutifully slathering on sunscreen lotion. She’d had vacations that were kind of vacations, and vacations that were so frenetic she needed a vacation from it.
But this one truly felt like she was there to relax. Swimming, exploring. There were movies, games. Endless options that could’ve taken them anywhere. And that was the night, that night, that Tablo performed.
And he kissed her hand.
And it took a long time that night to fall asleep.
***
Her friends had abandoned her for the water slides, leaving her to lay in the sun like a walrus on the beach. And not unhappy about the prospect either. Pleasant breeze, quiet music, laughter. Not exactly a sleeping kind of situation, but it made her bones feel like lead.
She made it back to a chair without having to swat someone out of it, collapsing in half shade with a drink and a magazine. And she was moments away from putting in her earphones, when fingers waggled in front of her, a man dropping to crouch beside her lounge chair.
She stared, dropping the earphone to let her magazine cover her bikini top, and wondering if she was going to be hit on by some half-drunk idiot in a white shirt and board shorts. She was not, had never been good at rebuffing men the few times it had happened. Older drunk men, that was one thing. The dark glasses threw her off. Way off. But there was a hint of a smile, and it tickled her recognition. At least until he reached up, and tipped his sunglasses down for a minute so she could see his eyes.
No, not a man from her school. Tablo.
And the sound she made was a yelp on an inhaled breath, something only they heard.
“I thought it was you,” he said, pushing the glasses back up his nose.
Her brain was running like a deer from a wolf. Tablo was right there. She could touch his knee. His knee. What did she say? She couldn’t just stay silent. She had to- Okay, also breathing was good.
“I can walk around without people noticing with my glasses on,” he said. “I didn’t want to interrupt, but… Did you want to come with me for a minute?”
It was very controlled chaos as she agreed, gathering her coverup, her magazine. Stuffing her ipod and whatever else into her bag. Stubbing her feet so gracefully into her flip flops, and oh-so-casually throwing away her drink as they walked. Kind of wishing she hadn’t, to have something to do with her hands. But she was walking beside Tablo. Beside. Tablo. And no one was staring, or pointing, or laughing. No one knew who he was. He was just a guy, like every other guy walking around. And she was a girl who was trying to walk in a straight line and not bump into him. The interior of the ship was less crowded, cooler, and she wanted to become Superman and twirl into her sundress without actually having to move. They didn’t go far, just far enough as privacy allowed without going into places they shouldn’t. And she was wary enough. He might be a famous rapper, and she might have a little crush, but he was still a man in the end. And she was responsible for her own safety.
“It took me forever to find you,” he said, sounding half accusing in a droll voice. “There are a million girls by that pool, and I kept saying, no. I knew I’d recognize your face.”
“Why were you looking for-for me?”
She kicked herself for stumbling over the words, and half wished he hadn’t just taken off his sunglasses. It meant she couldn’t skate around his eyes any more. It wasn’t nearly as easy as her little imaginations made it out to be.
“I don’t make it a habit to kiss fans’ hands. It seemed right with you, so I wanted to find out who you were. Lucky it’s not the biggest cruise ship in the world, and that you’re not a recluse. I didn’t have anything to go around finding you like Cinderella with.”
She laughed, her mind still a pile of stupid as she smiled at him. Swallowing the giggles that wanted to pop up. What to say? “Thank you?” That was stupid. Glad you did? Even more stupid. “It’s you!”
She sighed at herself.
“The concert last night was really great. All my friends really enjoyed it, too. It was really great.”
And she repeated herself. She winced.
“I’m glad. It was a good crowd. I know you’re on vacation, but maybe you’d like to hang out sometime?”
“I…Oh. I’d like that a lot.”
And her brain slowed, as he grinned. The hand he was using to hold his sunglasses lifted, steadying her chin. And she barely had time to close her eyes, before she was being kissed.
Men just didn’t go around kissing people. And that bare second, before he had pulled back, and waited for her to looking back at him? There was humor there. Not lust, or demand. And it rattled her inside. The galaxy of options, how to respond, how to feel.
The one that hit her gut was joy. The one right after, uncertainty. A few seconds after that, giddy dopeyness.
Her laugh jittered and he kissed her one more time giving her barely enough time to press against it. "I have a little performance tomorrow morning, but I'll probably be hanging out poolside after it's over for a while again. As long as I don't get mobbed. Will you be there?"
She wasn't sure how she could answer without gaping or letting her eyes go wiggly and too wide. "Um. Yes. I. Sure!"
He walked with her back almost to the pool, saying he’d see her the next day. And mimed kissing her hand before walking away.
Her palm had sweated through the cover of her magazine, and her knees were shaky.
If anyone noticed the stricken girl having a seat to keep herself from falling to the floor and rolling around in total confusion, glee, and terror… They were at least kind enough not to point and stare.
***
By the time Eunhyuk found her friends, she had calmed, some. Though every man in a white t-shirt caught her eye, as though Tablo were lurking in every corner. She had no idea how that hadn’t occurred to her, that the performers might be walking around. And she’d had no idea how to tell her friends.
Though her face had pretty much given it away. They dragged it out over over lunch, and she’d been the one having to warn them not to react. She didn’t want squeals and a bunch of squeals at that. She left off the kisses at first. It was enough that he wanted to see her. To see her? That he’d find her, after another concert?
Of course they all wanted to stick to her like glue, and maybe follow along, and keep her safe. She wasn’t the prettiest among them, smartest, or nicest. That fear that she’d be staged up, that he’d think better of it plagued her, and made her feel awful. And the selfishness, that she wanted him to herself.
She dressed carefully. No bikini. Definitely. Just a nice sundress, comfortable. Nothing too flirty. They weren’t up front for the morning concert, but she had a hard time both looking, and not looking at him during it. Flushing, and staring, and wondering how she was going to endure it.
Whether it was the waiting, or after he found her.
And she did appreciate her friends. They kept her distracted, and from wanting to run around and tear at her hair even if they teased her mercilessly.
And it was just luck, that she spotted him before he spotted her. She knew the set of his shoulders. His mouth. Resisting the urge to reach up and smooth the hair that was falling over her shoulder. She introduced him to her friends, and he greeted them politely. Accepting the quiet praise.
“You ready to go?” he asked, looking at her.
And it was as easy as that. Standing, telling them that she’d see them later. Carefully again not touching, as he led her away.
Her friends were probably going to call her insane for going off with a guy she barely knew. Heck, she was calling herself insane. For all she knew, he was some entitled jerk who thought being on stage equaled being able to have sex with anyone he wanted. And he’d kind of picked her. At least, she kind of harbored those doubts until she saw the little picnic he’d picked up from the kitchen for them, setting up in a cooler bit of shade away from the rest of the partying guests. He was steady, she thought. Offering her a can of soda, and sitting back with a sigh. Not like the college guys she was used to, and definitely not a teenager.
“Nice to get away, isn’t it?” he asked, and she thought he meant that very much. “Has it been a good cruise so far?”
“It’s been really fun. It’s the only one I’ve been on,” she said, curling her legs beside her and accepting the food he offered.
“Yeah, I’ve only been on one other. First time I performed on one. Still, have been able to relax, too. And nice company.”
The sly look had her blushing, stuffing a piece of pineapple into her mouth. And it was comfortable, sitting there. Discussing her college, and what she wanted to do. She told him about her family, and he reciprocated. About growing up, where he went to school. She knew some of it, but not all. And it meant more, hearing it from him. She didn’t want to seem like a stalker fan, so her questions were general. More aware of herself, had it been a date with some other guy for the first time. Away from really private life it was easier. Hobbies, and his favorite foods and restaurants.
She was babbling about her high school when he reached for her hand. It made her jitter, but he held on, urging her closer. His hand was a little damp, too, so she wondered if he was nervous also? Or it could’ve been any number of things. But he switched hands, holding hers and getting an arm around her shoulder. It was sort of smooth. Sort of. If the blanket bunching a little didn’t count. But she had her head on his shoulder, and his hand in on hers. She could feel the heat of his torso, and feel his laughs.
And he kissed her gently there, their legs stretched out together. She wasn’t shaking, or surprised that time. Not as star struck as she expected to be. She saw Tablo, and the layers of knowing under that were many. Tablo the rapper. The brother. The uncle. Tablo, who liked hamburgers, and Star Wars, and laughed at her jokes. Tablo who stroked her hand, and let her kiss him.
Being bold enough to lift her hand, to feel his collarbone, his neck. And as he hugged her close, and they relaxed together. Feeling the ocean breeze. Getting to breathe him in, as he stroked her back and told silly adventures of fishing with his family.
His phone vibrating startled him, which in turn startled her. Almost leaping as though someone had shouted at them.
“My alarm,” he said, reaching down and popping another piece of fruit into his mouth before shoving the phone back away. “I have another concert tonight, so I have to go get ready.”
“Sure, of course,” she said, shifting to her knees to help pack away the remnants of their lunch.
He had the cooler and the blanket in one arm, and guided her with a hand on her back. Back toward the sounds of laughter, and all her peers. She felt like she’d been on some deserted island, just the two of them and a few seabirds.
“Time went too quick,” he said, patting her hip as they paused. “You might have other stuff to do, but I’d love to see you again. Lunch… Dinner maybe one night when I’m not on?”
“I had a really wonderful time. So I’d love to.”
She felt shy, and a little sure and hopeful at the same time.
He pressed a quick kiss to her lips and grinned, shoving on his sunglasses. “I’ll look for you at the pool tomorrow, and just check in. We’ll go from there.”
“Okay!”
And then he cocked his head, as though he were looking her up and down before she waved him away, embarrassed to death.
And just a little bit on the way to being in love.
***
It was like living in an alternate universe. Dreaming of their next meeting in bed, waiting for him by the pool. Eating secluded lunches, wandering the back hallways of the ships, and cool features he had access to. It didn’t matter if it was a “boring” area, because he was the one laughing next to her.
And knowing that the cruise didn’t last forever. They were only two days from getting back to their port of call. There was no pool to lay by at her apartment, and no hallways to wander with him in.
And how to broach that topic? Oh hey, I know we’ve had a good time here, but do you still want to meet up back in the real world?
Where she was, that was the real word to her. Being pulled against him in some deserted hallway. His arms around her. Discovering the ways their bodies meshed. The making out had gotten…heated. She found him attractive, and that was no surprise. Feeling his chest heave against hers as they kissed, his hands touching her ever so carefully over her clothes. They didn’t have a place to go to be alone. He was bunking with someone, and so was she. In a way, she was kind of glad. It meant he couldn’t press her for sex. And she didn’t really have to wonder if she’d say no. They could hardly strip naked where someone could come up on them.
She wasn’t sure if she had it in her to be totally embarrassed for entertaining that thought. But it was because they were so secluded, so in their own little world. Seeing each other every day, talking for hours. Exchanging ipods and poking fun at each other for what they found.
And when he called her room, the last night, she had that feeling.
Knowing.
Meeting him at a corner near the casino, to head out to the railings. Quiet enough to walk in the dark, hand in hand.
“Too bad that pool isn’t deserted,” he teased her. “Just you, me, and the water. Clothes optional.”
“You can’t just wish the rest of the ship away.”
He chuckled. “Sure I can.”
They found a bench to sit on, and she leaned into him, so close to what they’d done on the first lunch date they’d had. Except, of course, that he was trying to flap his flip flop against hers, and smooshing her against him in a way he wouldn’t have tried then. It made her ache a little inside.
“So we get back to dry land tomorrow,” he said, leaning his head against hers.
“We do. Will we be rocking around on land for weeks?”
He laughed.
And they talked. Their flights left at different times. Different airlines. He was getting in several days after she did, even.
“I just can’t believe it’s almost over,” she sighed.
“I know. We can meet up back in Seoul, though. Eat food without sneaking around in hidden areas.”
Which led to talking about what foods they missed. Which for her, was pretty much everything. She wanted to crawl into the first barbecue restaurant and live there for a week.
And he left her at her door that night, with a kiss, and her cell phone number in his own phone. She had to pack, and so did he. They’d be in port, and it would be too busy to see each other again.
And that her friend asked, a little doubt in her voice, if Tablo would ever actually call?
She had those same fears herself.
***
But he called, the day after she knew he’d gotten back, and her face nearly broke. They made plans to meet, which meant she traveled on the subway to meet him. A novelty.
She felt as nervous as their first meeting. In her leggings and half boots that she’d agonized over. Totally away from the free atmosphere, and ease. He was right where he said he’d be, greeting her with a kiss and a squeezed hand. And a smile. Leading her to a table in the little restaurant, and ordering.
“You look tense,” he said, setting down his beer.
She looked up from her water, a little surprised that he’d noticed.
It was just such a shock, to be there. Korean spoken all around them. Familiar food. It could have been any date of her life, and she was there with Tablo.
“Being here, it’s different. I don’t want you to think I’m a groupie, or-“
He laughed, making her falter.
“I came after you, remember? I like that you like the music, and it’s flattering that you liked me. But I never got that feeling form you. Besides, my girlfriend could never be a groupie.”
She stared, her mind blank. “Girlfriend?”
“Girlfriend. That’s what I wanted to ask you tonight,” he said, grinning at her in the way that had first made her heart flutter.
It had been the cruise that neither of them would ever forget.
(And of course she said yes.)
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Tablo/Girl!Eunhyuk
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Girl!Hyuk
Summary: Friends, fun, and sun with the rest of her university class. A one week cruise, where the entertainment is anything but ordinary.
***
There was something to be said for being caught up in the music, craning her head to see around waving hands and jumping bodies. Close enough to the stage that the bass was bumping in her chest. Right against the stage in fact, since her friends had angled there, needing that close-up look at the evening's entertainment. Not some staid and boring singer like some cruises had, this one was definitely aimed toward the younger crowd, and the energy of the lyrics nearly sang through the crowd. She all but froze, staring, as the singer, rapper, got closer to their side, his hand moving, the one not holding the mic. He smiled out into the crowd, pointing, the smugness of his words conveying through his face. Her friends jostled her, screaming, their hands going up as though he would notice them, like that was possible. And for a moment, it was true. Because he hadn't noticed them. But as her breath bottled up, hand frozen in the air, she realized that his eyes were very much on her.
His knee met the stage and she wanted to fall back, but there were too many people smashing her into the stage. Too busy trying to figure out what she was going to do to keep from getting killed to avoid what happened next. His hand, grabbing her flailing hand, and suddenly the crowd backed off enough to let her breathe, or at least get feeling back in her fingers from where he was holding them. She gulped, going between staring at his hand holding hers or at his face. That moment where his head bobbed with the music, not making a sound, just taking her in, before lifting his mic again. And then it wasn't just in front of her, it was to her. And none of the squealing around her registered, too caught up in the surreality surrounding her. Is this your life? Her face had all but melted with the blush by the time he kissed her fingers, standing with a wink and a hop, working his way back down the crowd to touch hands and engage them, too. But she was still in shock, elbowed by her friends shrieking about how lucky she was. Lucky? What did luck have to do with it?
***
It was just vacation, nothing big. A cruise set up by her school. Entertainment organized, friends were procured. They were two to a room, and even if it was just a college-organized event, it felt almost glamorous. Sure, they were adults, but they were out on the water, on one of their first real vacations. There were school officials there, of course, to make sure things didn’t get too out of hand. But it wasn’t like it was summer camp. There were no counselors telling them when to go to bed. As long as they followed the rules of the ship, and acted in general like respectful human beings.
They’d known for weeks who was going to be on ship for their entertainment. A rapper, for one, and a duo of singers also. Giving a little bit of diversity. It had given them plenty of time to check out the music, and who they were, and maybe fall into a little bit of a crush with the artists. Her friends, all three of them, had fallen for singers. It hadn’t been just wanting to be perverse, but she’d gladly thrown her consideration at the rapper, Tablo, instead. She liked his pictures, and his music, and his entries online. Many of those had made her laugh. And everyone always had little fantasies. What’d happen if they met a celebrity, that instant connection, attraction. It wasn’t like she was different. She had all of those, too. The things they had in common, love of music, family. She imagined just sitting and talking, hand holding. Him going in for a kiss.
And that was before they’d even gotten to the ship. Mostly it told her she might want to get a real boyfriend, and stop obsessing about a guy who wouldn’t look twice at her. And how would he, among all the coeds around her? Curvier girls, taller girls, prettier girls. She resisted the urge to touch her ponytail, and then shrug because she knew she looked good in her bikini covered by a floaty sundress. And she wasn’t there to snag a guy, much less a famous one. Or famous enough. She was there to have fun, maybe sunbathe, and make memories with her friends. Definitely all of the above.
Opening night, the singers. Amidst the roving crowd, she was happy. Shouting along, drinking when they could snag a table to collapse exhaustedly at. There were fireworks, and music over the water. The stars were shining, wind warm. And her friends had their arms around her as they swayed back and forth and tried to croon with the duo on stage.
Eunhyuk had been worried about whether she’d been able to sleep on the ship. She had all kinds of motion sickness pills, in case, but she slept like a baby. Even after all that excitement, and boogieing around the room in their pajamas and making plans. Slightly hung over the next morning, but a pot of tea, and a huge breakfast had revived her.
It was the perfect weather to be out. She swam until she couldn’t take it any more, warming herself in a pool chair. Dutifully slathering on sunscreen lotion. She’d had vacations that were kind of vacations, and vacations that were so frenetic she needed a vacation from it.
But this one truly felt like she was there to relax. Swimming, exploring. There were movies, games. Endless options that could’ve taken them anywhere. And that was the night, that night, that Tablo performed.
And he kissed her hand.
And it took a long time that night to fall asleep.
***
Her friends had abandoned her for the water slides, leaving her to lay in the sun like a walrus on the beach. And not unhappy about the prospect either. Pleasant breeze, quiet music, laughter. Not exactly a sleeping kind of situation, but it made her bones feel like lead.
She made it back to a chair without having to swat someone out of it, collapsing in half shade with a drink and a magazine. And she was moments away from putting in her earphones, when fingers waggled in front of her, a man dropping to crouch beside her lounge chair.
She stared, dropping the earphone to let her magazine cover her bikini top, and wondering if she was going to be hit on by some half-drunk idiot in a white shirt and board shorts. She was not, had never been good at rebuffing men the few times it had happened. Older drunk men, that was one thing. The dark glasses threw her off. Way off. But there was a hint of a smile, and it tickled her recognition. At least until he reached up, and tipped his sunglasses down for a minute so she could see his eyes.
No, not a man from her school. Tablo.
And the sound she made was a yelp on an inhaled breath, something only they heard.
“I thought it was you,” he said, pushing the glasses back up his nose.
Her brain was running like a deer from a wolf. Tablo was right there. She could touch his knee. His knee. What did she say? She couldn’t just stay silent. She had to- Okay, also breathing was good.
“I can walk around without people noticing with my glasses on,” he said. “I didn’t want to interrupt, but… Did you want to come with me for a minute?”
It was very controlled chaos as she agreed, gathering her coverup, her magazine. Stuffing her ipod and whatever else into her bag. Stubbing her feet so gracefully into her flip flops, and oh-so-casually throwing away her drink as they walked. Kind of wishing she hadn’t, to have something to do with her hands. But she was walking beside Tablo. Beside. Tablo. And no one was staring, or pointing, or laughing. No one knew who he was. He was just a guy, like every other guy walking around. And she was a girl who was trying to walk in a straight line and not bump into him. The interior of the ship was less crowded, cooler, and she wanted to become Superman and twirl into her sundress without actually having to move. They didn’t go far, just far enough as privacy allowed without going into places they shouldn’t. And she was wary enough. He might be a famous rapper, and she might have a little crush, but he was still a man in the end. And she was responsible for her own safety.
“It took me forever to find you,” he said, sounding half accusing in a droll voice. “There are a million girls by that pool, and I kept saying, no. I knew I’d recognize your face.”
“Why were you looking for-for me?”
She kicked herself for stumbling over the words, and half wished he hadn’t just taken off his sunglasses. It meant she couldn’t skate around his eyes any more. It wasn’t nearly as easy as her little imaginations made it out to be.
“I don’t make it a habit to kiss fans’ hands. It seemed right with you, so I wanted to find out who you were. Lucky it’s not the biggest cruise ship in the world, and that you’re not a recluse. I didn’t have anything to go around finding you like Cinderella with.”
She laughed, her mind still a pile of stupid as she smiled at him. Swallowing the giggles that wanted to pop up. What to say? “Thank you?” That was stupid. Glad you did? Even more stupid. “It’s you!”
She sighed at herself.
“The concert last night was really great. All my friends really enjoyed it, too. It was really great.”
And she repeated herself. She winced.
“I’m glad. It was a good crowd. I know you’re on vacation, but maybe you’d like to hang out sometime?”
“I…Oh. I’d like that a lot.”
And her brain slowed, as he grinned. The hand he was using to hold his sunglasses lifted, steadying her chin. And she barely had time to close her eyes, before she was being kissed.
Men just didn’t go around kissing people. And that bare second, before he had pulled back, and waited for her to looking back at him? There was humor there. Not lust, or demand. And it rattled her inside. The galaxy of options, how to respond, how to feel.
The one that hit her gut was joy. The one right after, uncertainty. A few seconds after that, giddy dopeyness.
Her laugh jittered and he kissed her one more time giving her barely enough time to press against it. "I have a little performance tomorrow morning, but I'll probably be hanging out poolside after it's over for a while again. As long as I don't get mobbed. Will you be there?"
She wasn't sure how she could answer without gaping or letting her eyes go wiggly and too wide. "Um. Yes. I. Sure!"
He walked with her back almost to the pool, saying he’d see her the next day. And mimed kissing her hand before walking away.
Her palm had sweated through the cover of her magazine, and her knees were shaky.
If anyone noticed the stricken girl having a seat to keep herself from falling to the floor and rolling around in total confusion, glee, and terror… They were at least kind enough not to point and stare.
***
By the time Eunhyuk found her friends, she had calmed, some. Though every man in a white t-shirt caught her eye, as though Tablo were lurking in every corner. She had no idea how that hadn’t occurred to her, that the performers might be walking around. And she’d had no idea how to tell her friends.
Though her face had pretty much given it away. They dragged it out over over lunch, and she’d been the one having to warn them not to react. She didn’t want squeals and a bunch of squeals at that. She left off the kisses at first. It was enough that he wanted to see her. To see her? That he’d find her, after another concert?
Of course they all wanted to stick to her like glue, and maybe follow along, and keep her safe. She wasn’t the prettiest among them, smartest, or nicest. That fear that she’d be staged up, that he’d think better of it plagued her, and made her feel awful. And the selfishness, that she wanted him to herself.
She dressed carefully. No bikini. Definitely. Just a nice sundress, comfortable. Nothing too flirty. They weren’t up front for the morning concert, but she had a hard time both looking, and not looking at him during it. Flushing, and staring, and wondering how she was going to endure it.
Whether it was the waiting, or after he found her.
And she did appreciate her friends. They kept her distracted, and from wanting to run around and tear at her hair even if they teased her mercilessly.
And it was just luck, that she spotted him before he spotted her. She knew the set of his shoulders. His mouth. Resisting the urge to reach up and smooth the hair that was falling over her shoulder. She introduced him to her friends, and he greeted them politely. Accepting the quiet praise.
“You ready to go?” he asked, looking at her.
And it was as easy as that. Standing, telling them that she’d see them later. Carefully again not touching, as he led her away.
Her friends were probably going to call her insane for going off with a guy she barely knew. Heck, she was calling herself insane. For all she knew, he was some entitled jerk who thought being on stage equaled being able to have sex with anyone he wanted. And he’d kind of picked her. At least, she kind of harbored those doubts until she saw the little picnic he’d picked up from the kitchen for them, setting up in a cooler bit of shade away from the rest of the partying guests. He was steady, she thought. Offering her a can of soda, and sitting back with a sigh. Not like the college guys she was used to, and definitely not a teenager.
“Nice to get away, isn’t it?” he asked, and she thought he meant that very much. “Has it been a good cruise so far?”
“It’s been really fun. It’s the only one I’ve been on,” she said, curling her legs beside her and accepting the food he offered.
“Yeah, I’ve only been on one other. First time I performed on one. Still, have been able to relax, too. And nice company.”
The sly look had her blushing, stuffing a piece of pineapple into her mouth. And it was comfortable, sitting there. Discussing her college, and what she wanted to do. She told him about her family, and he reciprocated. About growing up, where he went to school. She knew some of it, but not all. And it meant more, hearing it from him. She didn’t want to seem like a stalker fan, so her questions were general. More aware of herself, had it been a date with some other guy for the first time. Away from really private life it was easier. Hobbies, and his favorite foods and restaurants.
She was babbling about her high school when he reached for her hand. It made her jitter, but he held on, urging her closer. His hand was a little damp, too, so she wondered if he was nervous also? Or it could’ve been any number of things. But he switched hands, holding hers and getting an arm around her shoulder. It was sort of smooth. Sort of. If the blanket bunching a little didn’t count. But she had her head on his shoulder, and his hand in on hers. She could feel the heat of his torso, and feel his laughs.
And he kissed her gently there, their legs stretched out together. She wasn’t shaking, or surprised that time. Not as star struck as she expected to be. She saw Tablo, and the layers of knowing under that were many. Tablo the rapper. The brother. The uncle. Tablo, who liked hamburgers, and Star Wars, and laughed at her jokes. Tablo who stroked her hand, and let her kiss him.
Being bold enough to lift her hand, to feel his collarbone, his neck. And as he hugged her close, and they relaxed together. Feeling the ocean breeze. Getting to breathe him in, as he stroked her back and told silly adventures of fishing with his family.
His phone vibrating startled him, which in turn startled her. Almost leaping as though someone had shouted at them.
“My alarm,” he said, reaching down and popping another piece of fruit into his mouth before shoving the phone back away. “I have another concert tonight, so I have to go get ready.”
“Sure, of course,” she said, shifting to her knees to help pack away the remnants of their lunch.
He had the cooler and the blanket in one arm, and guided her with a hand on her back. Back toward the sounds of laughter, and all her peers. She felt like she’d been on some deserted island, just the two of them and a few seabirds.
“Time went too quick,” he said, patting her hip as they paused. “You might have other stuff to do, but I’d love to see you again. Lunch… Dinner maybe one night when I’m not on?”
“I had a really wonderful time. So I’d love to.”
She felt shy, and a little sure and hopeful at the same time.
He pressed a quick kiss to her lips and grinned, shoving on his sunglasses. “I’ll look for you at the pool tomorrow, and just check in. We’ll go from there.”
“Okay!”
And then he cocked his head, as though he were looking her up and down before she waved him away, embarrassed to death.
And just a little bit on the way to being in love.
***
It was like living in an alternate universe. Dreaming of their next meeting in bed, waiting for him by the pool. Eating secluded lunches, wandering the back hallways of the ships, and cool features he had access to. It didn’t matter if it was a “boring” area, because he was the one laughing next to her.
And knowing that the cruise didn’t last forever. They were only two days from getting back to their port of call. There was no pool to lay by at her apartment, and no hallways to wander with him in.
And how to broach that topic? Oh hey, I know we’ve had a good time here, but do you still want to meet up back in the real world?
Where she was, that was the real word to her. Being pulled against him in some deserted hallway. His arms around her. Discovering the ways their bodies meshed. The making out had gotten…heated. She found him attractive, and that was no surprise. Feeling his chest heave against hers as they kissed, his hands touching her ever so carefully over her clothes. They didn’t have a place to go to be alone. He was bunking with someone, and so was she. In a way, she was kind of glad. It meant he couldn’t press her for sex. And she didn’t really have to wonder if she’d say no. They could hardly strip naked where someone could come up on them.
She wasn’t sure if she had it in her to be totally embarrassed for entertaining that thought. But it was because they were so secluded, so in their own little world. Seeing each other every day, talking for hours. Exchanging ipods and poking fun at each other for what they found.
And when he called her room, the last night, she had that feeling.
Knowing.
Meeting him at a corner near the casino, to head out to the railings. Quiet enough to walk in the dark, hand in hand.
“Too bad that pool isn’t deserted,” he teased her. “Just you, me, and the water. Clothes optional.”
“You can’t just wish the rest of the ship away.”
He chuckled. “Sure I can.”
They found a bench to sit on, and she leaned into him, so close to what they’d done on the first lunch date they’d had. Except, of course, that he was trying to flap his flip flop against hers, and smooshing her against him in a way he wouldn’t have tried then. It made her ache a little inside.
“So we get back to dry land tomorrow,” he said, leaning his head against hers.
“We do. Will we be rocking around on land for weeks?”
He laughed.
And they talked. Their flights left at different times. Different airlines. He was getting in several days after she did, even.
“I just can’t believe it’s almost over,” she sighed.
“I know. We can meet up back in Seoul, though. Eat food without sneaking around in hidden areas.”
Which led to talking about what foods they missed. Which for her, was pretty much everything. She wanted to crawl into the first barbecue restaurant and live there for a week.
And he left her at her door that night, with a kiss, and her cell phone number in his own phone. She had to pack, and so did he. They’d be in port, and it would be too busy to see each other again.
And that her friend asked, a little doubt in her voice, if Tablo would ever actually call?
She had those same fears herself.
***
But he called, the day after she knew he’d gotten back, and her face nearly broke. They made plans to meet, which meant she traveled on the subway to meet him. A novelty.
She felt as nervous as their first meeting. In her leggings and half boots that she’d agonized over. Totally away from the free atmosphere, and ease. He was right where he said he’d be, greeting her with a kiss and a squeezed hand. And a smile. Leading her to a table in the little restaurant, and ordering.
“You look tense,” he said, setting down his beer.
She looked up from her water, a little surprised that he’d noticed.
It was just such a shock, to be there. Korean spoken all around them. Familiar food. It could have been any date of her life, and she was there with Tablo.
“Being here, it’s different. I don’t want you to think I’m a groupie, or-“
He laughed, making her falter.
“I came after you, remember? I like that you like the music, and it’s flattering that you liked me. But I never got that feeling form you. Besides, my girlfriend could never be a groupie.”
She stared, her mind blank. “Girlfriend?”
“Girlfriend. That’s what I wanted to ask you tonight,” he said, grinning at her in the way that had first made her heart flutter.
It had been the cruise that neither of them would ever forget.
(And of course she said yes.)
***