[Fic] Across the Line - 3/4
Title: Across the Line
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Girl!Kyuhyun
Warning: Girl!Kyu, babies, medical stuff relating to pregnancy and babies, etc.
Summary: First came love, then came...an ultrasound? Somehow the order of those events got mixed up, and when she thought no one was there for her - someone was.
Warning: Girl!Kyu, babies, medical stuff relating to pregnancy and babies, etc.
***
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four
***
Week 32 - June
***
She wasn’t sure if Zhou Mi knew how much he helped her through the weeks following the scare that sent her to the hospital. Even if the bleeding had no determinable cause, and ultimately seemed harmless, he texted her every few days. Sometimes with nothing more than a “Drinking enough? : )” or some kind of peppy quip or quote, and sometimes with a job status. Her favorite had been the “I’ve been in the hospital for 36 hours now, and I don’t know how many of those have actually been spent in a bed. Hospitals do have beds, right? Who funds these places?”
When he’d taken her home from the hospital, feeling quite a bit better after having an IV and as much liquid as she could want, he’d almost paused, like he wanted to come upstairs with her and make sure she’d be okay. Even before he’d picked her up, he had a bag of food waiting in the car, and he carried that to her door for her, setting it inside. Just staples, he said. So she could spend the next day resting. Doctor’s orders, he said. And he’d texted her to be sure she was okay the next day. And then again a few days after that. And it became a routine, checking her phone to see if Zhou Mi had contacted her back. Maybe she occasionally allowed herself to analyze her feelings about it. She had told her friends, mostly because she thought she was losing her mind.
Single man contacting a single woman? They’d gone straight to logic, and bypassed the doctor part entirely. Which she confessed she had as well, but it was harder to be logical when she was enjoying something so much and didn’t want it to stop. Ryeowook had stayed over one night, and they had talked a long time about it. She didn’t quite detail the sick longing she felt, the part where she felt like she had to hold back when texting him, or from texting him too often. But what was unsaid was still seen.
“Why don’t you get another doctor?” Ryeowook asked her. “If he’s interested in you and wants to date you, why not try it? It could be really good for you, especially if he’s as nice a man as you say he is.”
“But there’s the baby. If he doesn’t want-”
“He’s your OBGYN, Kyuhyun,” Ryeowook pointed out with infuriating calmness. “He knows more about your baby than you do. And he’s interested in you despite that?”
“He hasn’t made any romantic overtures.” She didn’t think so anyway. And Ryeowook couldn’t really argue that the text messages counted. They were friendly and concerned, but not really flirty.
“There are a lot of reasons people shouldn’t date their doctors,” Ryeowook said after a few moments. “I just think you’re really between what’s safe and what’s over the line.”
“The only thing that comforts me when I freak out is knowing that Zhou Mi is going to be there when the baby is born. Coaching me, being the first one to hold the baby. I don’t want him to get in trouble, but I can’t imagine giving up on that.”
“And after the baby is born? Would you say yes if he asked you out?”
“Well,then I’d have the baby and a lot of other things to worry about.”
What she had were excuses and fears, and Ryeowook did her best to give her courage, but there was only so much that could be done.
***
Shopping for the baby was one of the most traumatic experiences of her life. She’d gone out unprepared the first time, saw rows of different things and contraptions and promptly went home to research for the rest of her life.
The next time, she had five or six pages full of product reviews and opinions on what was best for this or that. And she still ended up texting Zhou Mi to get his opinion. What she didn’t expect was that she was going to get about five texts back about car seats. She carefully read through them, amused by his earnest answer, and nearly dropped the phone when it started buzzing to tell her a call was incoming.
“Are you shopping right now? Where are you at?” Zhou Mi asked, almost bypassing a hello.
“Yeah, I’ve just been looking around.” She told him the name of the store and heard him hum a moment.
“That’s a pretty good store. My patients have told me about another one, though. It might just be easier to explain in person. Why don’t you meet me in say, 20 minutes? If you get there a little early, sit and get something to drink.”
She was smiling a little helplessly by the time she hung up the phone. He was impossible to resist when he started rambling away about plans, giving her the address, directions, badgering at her to keep getting enough fluids as it got warmer. She sucked in her cheeks and stared down at her obviously rounded stomach. They had the best of people looking out for them, that was for sure. She did arrive just a little before him, getting a tall glass of cool herbal tea with juice and gathering strength. If she was going to have a doctor answering her questions then she was going to get as many answered as she could. It was good, then, that she had a list.
Maybe not a doctor, she though, as he waved cheerfully. Maybe a friend. And it wasn’t against the rules to be friends.
He was already pouring through her list as they went inside, holding the door open to let her and her expanding stomach pass. They were almost immediately accosted by a sales assistant, cheerful and perky and rail thin. And it made her gloomier than her hair color.
“We’re mostly looking,” Kyuhyun answered the girl’s offer of assistance.
“Are you having a son or daughter?” she asked, leading them further into the store and giving them the grand tour. Though the girl looked at Zhou Mi when she asked her question, as though he was the baby’s father. She almost opened her mouth to offer a correction, but Zhou Mi made some kind of negative expression at her. It would be rather…hard to explain.
“A girl,” Kyuhyun answered.
“We just received some really adorable newborn clothes for little girls. They’re all right over here. Let me know if you need anything?”
There was a couple more minutes of Zhou Mi asking about what they had, and Kyuhyun zoning out but for being uncomfortable with how close the girl stood to him as she answered about bassinets and burp rags. That feeling was a little bit of something she didn’t enjoy. There was no reason to be jealous of something so stupid. The girl’s hand sort of fluttered at Zhou Mi’s arm before leaving them alone.
Kyuhyun lowered her voice, almost whispering to him, “She thought we were married? And then was flirting with you?”
“I think she was just trying to get more sales,” Zhou Mi said, kind of laughing and wading into the clothes.
“I don’t know.” And she really didn’t know. She just knew what she hoped. Maybe… Maybe Zhou Mi found the girl more appealing that her rotundness.
“Oh hey, this is cute,” he said, rifling through a rack of frilly dresses. He pulled out a tiny yellow sundress with matching flowered headband. “Kind of like a daisy.”
She stared between the dress and him, and laughed. “Really? Look how small that is. Your hand can almost wear it as a dress.”
He slid his hand up inside it, making the arms move like a puppet before putting it back. It was criminal to make someone laugh that hard in the middle of a store. She and her bladder just barely held on.
“It’s hard to think that a baby is that small,” she murmured, feeling the edge of a silky blanket.
“They seem really small on the outside,” he said, leaning close and seeming to hate to break the news to her. “But I’ve been told it seems like they’re the size of small whales before and during birth.”
He caught the soft toy she lobbed at him with a grin, and put it in the basket. Every kid needed a stuffed dog, he said. His gift.
She was all but glowing from the smiles and laughter by the time she had purchased most of the things on her list. There were a lot of things left, but it was a dent in what she would need for the baby’s arrival. He’d teased her, told her stories of his time in medical school, of deliveries he’d been part of. Putting her at ease and pitching his voice, just so. So that he talked to her so intimately. It didn’t take much imagination to conjure that voice as coming from beside her in bed. She shuddered, and realized her libido wasn’t totally lost after all.
He served another purpose besides advisor, and that was pack mule. Carrying all of her bags on the subway, and all the way to her door.
“I guess I owe you another bowl of soup,” she said, grateful to see the bags in her apartment finally.
Leaning, so tall and perfect, against her doorjamb, he shook his head. “Consider it services rendered. Now I’ll know where to send people. And tell them to bring a wagon, too.”
He bid her goodnight, and she sat, sorting through little items. Tiny nail clippers, a blanket. Things she would use a million times. The baby kicked as she sat, and she rubbed at the spot. Some of the things, like the little stuffed dog he had tossed in, would make her think of Zhou Mi.
And they had that soup she thought she owed him. Eating together almost every few nights. He was so much less her doctor. And so much more Zhou Mi.
***
Week 34 - June
***
Zhou Mi couldn’t erase the worry that he felt when he realized his personal cell phone was being called by a woman asking if he knew Kyuhyun. And though he had been assured that nothing was wrong, it didn’t shake the feeling of unease. Was he available to go to Kyuhyun’s apartment? Of course. Even if it was his day off, and he’d planned to go shopping, he figured he should swing by and see why someone, probably her friend, was calling for her. It made him curious, anyway.
“Zhou Mi?” the woman who answered the door asked, and he blinked at her.
“Yes?”
“I’m Eunhyuk. Come in!”
He realized that his sense of worry had been slightly misplaced as the door shut behind him. It shouldn’t have been for Kyuhyun or the baby, but for himself. He’d just been brought straight into the middle of a baby shower that was being set up by industriously working women.
And Kyuhyun wasn’t in sight.
“Kyuhyun will be here in a little while,” he was told by another person. Ryeowook? He got told other names, and they filtered right out of his brain. They steered him to the laid out food and he started to wonder how he was going to get out of there. There had to be a polite way of saying he needed to leave immediately. Maybe his pager. Oh. His pager.
Still, he hummed, picking up one of the little finger foods they’d set out, and sampling it. It was good, though really, really small. He’d have to eat about 30 of them to feel full. Clearly why finger foods weren’t optimal food for anything but parties, he thought.
Two of Kyuhyun’s friends flanked him, like some kind of fighter jets guiding in a suspicious plane.
“Kyuhyun tells us that you’ve been spending a lot of time together,” the one on his right said, holding some very lovely pink drink. It made the roof of his mouth itch to think of the sugar it probably contained.
“Um, well…”
“But you’re not dating, right?” the one his left asked.
Oh, it was an interrogation. Or an intervention? Something. Oh dear.
“I’m her doctor,” he said firmly. “And her friend, but…”
“You don’t want to date her? Men and women aren’t usually just “friends.” And she’s vulnerable, you know?”
Zhou Mi swallowed, feeling trapped. “I don’t-”
“Are you gay?”
“No!” he burst out, shocked. And so what if he was? But he wasn’t, clearly. He wasn’t leading Kyuhyun on or anything. They didn’t have any sort of agreement or expectation between them.
“No,” he repeated. “No. I like women very much. Kyuhyun is a beautiful woman, and she’s… She’s very important to me. But it’s complicated. I am her doctor, and this isn’t an easy time for her.”
“And you don’t think having someone who can hold her would make it easier?”
“Have you asked her this?” he asked cautiously. What dreams he had in his own head of laying beside Kyuhyun and holding her and waking up next to her were totally irrelevant in the face of what Kyuhyun wanted. Maybe those things would make it easier for Kyuhyun, but maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe they’d just give her more things to stress out about. And she did not just have some small little clutch of baggage, she had a full steamer trunk of it. Her ex-boyfriend, absent family… Things he could only talk to her about, and imagine. She had never wanted to talk about the ex-boyfriend very much. And if they’d been dating for over a year, sleeping together - though he didn’t think about that at all; in his own mind, the baby was conceived immaculately - then it was possible that Kyuhyun had been in love with him. And it didn’t matter if there was a bad breakup or a baby or not, it didn’t take one moment and snapped fingers to get over that. He didn’t want to catch her on some desperate rebound, when anything, anyone looked better than her ex. And if that meant being her friend, then that was what it meant.
“She thinks you painted the stars on the sky,” one of them muttered.
“Um…” Okay, that was awkward.
“Oh, she’s here!”
He heard Kyuhyun’s laughter immediately as she came in, someone getting her with a tiara and a hug. And that sort of went on for a minute until Kyuhyun sat aside her bag, turned, and saw him. And there was that momentary flash of confusion on her face. Yes, he understood that. Baby shower. Man. The two concepts didn’t always go together. But he also saw his chance for escape and he was careening toward it.
“I think I came by at the wrong time,” he murmured almost in her ear. “I don’t have a present anyway, so I’m way too embarrassed to stay.”
She laughed, pushing his arm. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry. Enjoy your party, Kui Xian. Call me after?”
“I will,” she said, and he squeezed her hand for a moment.
“Nice meeting you all!” he called back, getting a good hold on the door.
There was a small chorus of protests, but he just waved and smiled at Kyuhyun.
***
Kyuhyun was still in a state of shock as the door closed behind Zhou Mi. And she had caught that little look of “whew, I’m getting away” that he’s shot her when he was hidden from the others behind the door. The little rat. Of course she’d known about the baby shower, her friends weren’t that sadistic. They’d just kicked her out of her apartment so that they could set up. And apparently so that they could organize a different kind of surprise altogether.
“Did one of you invite Zhou Mi?” she asked, fixing people with stares.
“Aww, he should’ve stayed!”
“Why were you flirting with him!” Ryeowook asked, laughing.
“Hey, he was cute! And it was before Kyuhyun came! I definitely wouldn’t have again after I saw how he looked at her.”
“Looked at me,” Kyuhyun scoffed.
“He was practically eating you up from the second you came in the door.”
“There’s a lot of me to eat,” she said wryly, patting her stomach.
“Maybe he wants kids?”
Maybe he did. Kyuhyun let her eyes close for a moment. Seeing him there in his smart shirt, a dab of some kind of sauce at the corner of his mouth. Telling her goodbye, almost hugging her. Almost like they were dating, or even more. It was impossible not to go there in her head.
“So is this about Zhou Mi and I, or the baby?” she asked.
“We just worry.”
“I know. I know. But he and I… I know what you see. I think we both see it. We haven’t talked about it, but it’s hard, okay?”
There was some kind of group hug by commune, rubbing her stomach in support. And the mood shifted. Support turned to joy as she got stuffed with cake and food. Opening gifts. Clothes, supplies. Funny shirts. Even some cute tops for her, for when her belly was smaller. She hugged those like they were going to disappear.
“One day I won’t be pregnant,” she said, petting the soft fabric.
“And you’ll be a mommy!”
There were soft coos and sighs around the room. It was like a small baby store had thrown up in her living room. One by one they trickled out, a couple staying a little longer to help put away extra food, clear dishes, but in general she just wanted them gone. It had been tiring, too tiring. Just looking at the gift bags, knowing she had to write out cards. Putting her apartment back together. In truth, there wasn’t that much to do. They hadn’t left her with a disaster zone, cleaning up after themselves. There were just some dishes, and organization, and maybe mopping and vacuuming.
She couldn’t even think of it, curling onto the couch with her cell phone. She had Zhou Mi’s number on speed dial.
He picked up almost instantly. “You have fun?”
“I did.” She debated with herself. “You’re probably at home relaxing, so you probably don’t want to…”
“You want me to come over?” She heard a chair scraping in the background. “I’m just around the corner, so I can be there in a few minutes if you’re up to it?”
Of course he was. She shook her head. “Yes. Please.”
She just needed…something. Him, mostly likely. Just the thought of having him around made her almost drunk with relief. For some reason, she wasn’t surprised that he came in with a bag in his hand.
“Quite a haul,” he said, admiring the orderly little line of gifts. “Here’s one more.”
The bag was heavier than she thought it was going to be, and she sat it on the table. Pulling out the top layer, and almost dropping it when she realized it was the yellow baby sundress that Zhou Mi had admired before.
“What?” he asked, all innocence. “I couldn’t just leave it there.”
Burp cloths, a pacifier with a giraffe on it. She laughed as she set them aside. Board books. She sighed as she lifted four of them out.
“She’ll need an early start on reading if she’s going to be a doctor.” And oh, how smug he sounded.
“She’ll teethe on them is what she’ll do.”
But they still made her sigh. As much as the next few books made her confused. Novels, popular ones. She hadn’t read them, but she stared at him in confusion.
“For down time, if you can’t sleep, or when you’re nursing,” he explained. “Just something to take your mind off stuff. That’s it, by the way. There’s nothing else hidden under there.”
“So you had a shopping expedition while we ate cake,” she said softly. “Zhou Mi… Thank you.”
“Hey, I couldn’t get out of the festivities that lightly. You’re welcome.”
He accepted her hug, letting her curl against his side for minutes stretching on. The warmth of him, the smell of his detergent, cologne, sweat. She could have breathed him for days. And nearly fell asleep doing so.
He touched her face. “And you’re tired. Why don’t you take a nap? You had a long day.”
She smiled, clearly drooping.
He tried not to imagine following her into her bedroom, imagining only to soothe her frazzled nerves. Maybe he shouldn’t have come back, knowing that it would’ve been draining for her. But it had been the itch he could not scratch, shopping for her, buying the baby dress, the books. Sitting in the cafe and brooding until she had actually called. Perhaps she needed him to help clean, or maybe just to talk. And while her needs were forefront on his mind, he had needs of his own. Wondering what the women at the party would have told her, if anything. If they had upset her.
And it was as though she read his thoughts, staring back at him before disappearing into her room.
“Just rest, and don’t worry about me,” he told her. “I’ll amuse myself and we can get some food later.”
He sat down on the couch, and let his eyes close. Seeing her on the bed in his mind, looking up at him. She was squeezing her hands together in strange patterns. “Would you…”
He would sort of circle his finger, suggesting she turn, and asking if that was what she wanted.
“Do you like watching me all awkward like this?” she asked, sounding skeptical, but still turning over.
He would snuggle up against her, looping an arm around her stomach and resting his head against hers. “Just get some rest, okay?”
Her fingers would thread through his, long, graceful. Warm.. “How do you always know what I need?”
“Lots of schooling… And because I care.”
“It was worth it.”
What was? He wondered. The schooling? The caring? Meeting him?
“Sleep, Kui Xian.”
With his hand over hers, he’d squeeze her. Just holding her until he felt her breathing even. He left her there, easing off the bed, closing her bedroom door. Little moments like that, he wanted those. So many of those. If he had done it, it would have crossed a line so far he almost couldn’t see how far he’d come. But he’d kept himself back. Careful. Careful, he warned himself. He was free only up to a point. And what he’d imagined he’d done? What he wished he could do?
He even fell asleep himself, for twenty minutes or so, waking on her couch with a sigh.
He conquered the dishes first, washing very quietly, very slow. Mopping up any traces of cake or crumbs from the floor. Sort of straightening anything he knew where it ought to be.
She waddled, cutely, out after another hour, yawning as she sank into the couch and blinking away the moisture that came because of it. He set aside the baby magazine he’d been reading and smiled at her and her slightly rumpled hair.
“Feel better?”
“Mm,” she agreed. “I needed that. So many people.”
She seemed to smell the air, swiveling her head toward the kitchen. “Did you clean?”
“I just finished the dishes, and mopped out there, that’s all,” he said. “And I ate a piece of cake?”
She kicked at his knee. “Should I start calling you slave? That’s not why you came over.”
“Don’t tell me why I came over,” he said, nudging her back. “Besides, it was good cake.”
“I don’t know what to do with you,” she muttered, sitting up. “Ugh. Writing thank you cards for those presents. Why?”
“Do you need to get cards?”
She shook her head. “No, I have them. Maybe I should just do it now in case I mixed anything up. So I remember who gave me what.”
“I’ll help? I can… Address envelopes or something?”
“What are they going to think if the envelopes have different handwriting than the cards?”
“That you have a really excellent secretary?” he asked coyly.
“Masochist. You are a masochist.”
“Only for fun things,” he called after her as she went to retrieve the cards.
And it was fun, getting to see the cute little baby clothes and toys she had received. She handed him an address book and stickers with her own address on them, and he filled out envelopes as she made out cards. He watched the faces she made as she tried to make appropriate and personal thanks on each card.
Then they got to the shirts that her friends had purchased for her and he kind of wished he’d thought of it, at least until she opened her mouth.
“These shirts are adorable,” she said, sort of holding a bright red one up against herself. “They’re supposed to make me excited about the baby being born, and having my body back. And being motivated to lose the baby weight. They’re so cute. And they just make me feel like a cow.”
“You’ll fit into those not too long after the baby is born,” he assured her. Assuming they were big enough in the bust, he thought. But the bottom certainly looked loose enough. She looked skeptical. “Hey, I saw you before you gained almost any weight, and I’m your doctor, okay? I know these things.”
“I’m your doctor, okay,” she mimicked, picking up her pen again.
“Well, I am. You’re just where you should be in terms of weight gain, so you’re a perfectly proportioned cow. I…You know what I mean!”
He could almost see it move across her face, into her eyes, before it broke. Thankfully she was crying with laughter instead of because she was upset. “Your face,” she gasped.
He stood with dignity, his knees cracking as he did so. “I’m going to go call for some dinner. What do you want?”
“Not beef,” she croaked out between muffled laughs.
They last of the cards was finished before the food arrived, and she all but broke her pen in victory of it. They poked at the takeout over a movie on the television, him suggesting that she keep her feet up. Imagining that he could soothe them for her. Totally altruistic, of course. Getting her off her feet, not buzzing around, that was the main thing. And she was definitely drooping by the time the credits rolled. It was late. He hadn’t meant to stay so long.
“I’ll go so you can get some rest,” he said. “On the bed, and not the couch.”
He took her offered hands, helping her onto her feet. And then also, into his arms. Just holding her. Smelling her. Enjoying the jut of her stomach, the softness of her breasts, her hair. There wasn’t any denying it.
“When they left, I just wanted you here,” she said softly. “I was so tired… It felt like they were draining me? And somehow you calm me down.”
“Zen Mi?” he offered, feeling her laugh against him. “Sleep well.”
“You called me… You called me Kui Xian, again, before.”
He smiled at her. “Sleep well, Kui Xian.” He patted her stomach. “And you too.”
He left, knowing he didn’t want to. Knowing he wanted to crawl into her bed and hold her, kiss her. Feel her hair against his shoulder, and her lips against his neck. He flipped into his phone’s photo album, pulling up one of the pictures he had of her, of them. Shopping for baby supplies, him grinning and trying to get on her level and having her stick her tongue out at him. It was a picture he looked at every day. How right they looked together. He couldn’t even keep the picture as his display, because of work, and what he was to her. Maybe she felt she owed him a lot, but he owed her a lot, too. He let the phone’s screen tilt against his forehead and just let himself pretend.
***
Week 36 - June
***
“How are you?” he texted her.
“Horrible,” she replied. Then after a moment, after his eyebrows had risen, he received, “It’s too hot, and my ankles look like Greek pillars.”
“Get some water, and put your Greek pillars up,” he admonished, knowing she was probably pacing around. “I’m off in 30 minutes - will bring food.”
Even with air conditioning and fans, the heat was oppressive. He felt like he was swimming as he went to his car. All his friends thought he was insane, the non-doctor ones. He didn’t speak so much about what was happening to the other doctors. Not, he thought, that he had done anything particularly wrong. There was nothing in the rule book against going to his favorite restaurant and begging and pleading with them to make him several cold salads so that he could take them to his patient. His patient who had sounded miserable and probably wasn’t eating well because of the heat. All his other patients were enduring the same things. It wasn’t as though he could only use the excuse that Kyuhyun was alone, no family. She had friends who probably would help her. But still, he shifted the container of fruit-sweetened tea to knock.
The first thing he saw was the tips of her toes, peeking out from under the breezy dress she wore. Held up by straps at her shoulders, it fell loose from beneath her breasts. Probably one of the coolest things she could wear, in addition to not constricting her stomach.
“Delivery,” he said, smiling and jostling the bag in his hand.
She’d braided back her hair, he saw, keeping it from rioting all over in the humidity. He liked that riot, but he managed to tamp it down. It was either constrain her hair, or fear that she’d take scissors and lop off the long, beautiful mass of it. He’d rather see it bound back, if those were the options. Though she would still be herself either way.
“You didn’t have to,” she told him. “Really…”
“Sit,” he urged her, when she made to follow him into the kitchen. “I can find the plates. You should keep your feet up. Go on.”
He shooed her gently, her face showing she wasn’t quite okay with it, but not quite up to arguing with him either. He thought she’d probably find that part of her before too long. As soon as the heat let her, anyway. He took her the drink first, finding ice cubes in her freezer enough to cool the tea a little further. It was a pretty pink in her clear glasses, and he tucked it into her hand.
“Doctor’s orders,” he told her. “You’re drinking plenty of fluids?”
“Yes, sir,” she said, a little sheepish. She craned her head back to look up at him. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me until you see what else I brought,” he cautioned, laughing as he went back out to dish it up. A cold chicken salad with a hint of spice, a second of whole grains in a light vinaigrette, and a third of melons and fruit. Enough, he hoped, to tempt her. If she liked them, he’d brought extra as well, so she could have some for the next day. He didn’t put much on the plate, not wanting to overwhelm her. Just hoping that she would eat.
He would have been lying if he said he hadn’t watched her face as he handed her the plate, and kept watching as he sat. Until she’d bitten into the first piece of moist, succulent chicken, and with a moan, closed her eyes. Almost whimpering against her knuckles as she chewed. His mouth watered in sympathy, and he shoveled food into his mouth so that it didn’t get any ideas of its own.
She tried the other salad, and then the fruit.
“You’re like my fairy godmother,” she mumbled around a bite of watermelon.
“Do I get wings?” he teased her.
Her whole body shook with the laugh. “I’d like to see that.”
He let himself get comfortable, leaning back, not too close beside her, letting his legs stretch out to rest on the table her own were resting on. And he was glad to see she had a cute little cushion beneath her feet. In his dark socks, and even with the swelling in her ankles, his feet still seemed to dwarf hers.
She apparently noticed that as well.
“Bigfoot,” she accused, half kicking at him.
“Littlefoot?” he ventured, watching for her reaction.
“That’s just mean,” she told him, smiling as she continued eating. “This is really amazing. I don’t even know how I can thank you.”
“You are - by eating it,” he said. “It’s hard to get much appetite up when it gets hot like this.”
She agreed without words, and he let his head fall back, listening to the sound of the humming fan. It was a nice apartment, pretty clean. But the appeal of course was Kyuhyun. He wondered what kind of girlfriend she would make. What kind of wife. He sighed and let his eyes close, dreaming.
***
He came out of sleep with a start, smelling something that clearly wasn’t his own apartment, or the hospital either. He realized he’d passed out on Kyuhyun’s couch, and she’d wedged a pillow beside him to keep him from falling right over onto her. He sat up, sheepishly, wondering where she was. From the sounds of it, the kitchen, since their dishes were gone. He pushed himself to his feet with a groan, walking toward the sound. How pretty she was, setting the last plate into the little dish drainer, drying her hands on the light blue towel. Looking cool and light in that dress. He could imagine so easily walking up behind her and just wrapping his arms around her. Kissing her cheek, her neck, and feeling her lean into him.
Instead he leaned against the doorframe, sighing so that he didn’t startle her.
“Sorry for passing out on you like that,” he said. “It was a long day.”
She smiled, nearly reaching for her stomach out of habit before curbing it. “Don’t worry, I had a little nap, too. The good food will do that. How much sleep have you had in the last few days?”
He thought. There was had been the two deliveries the night before, work. He’d been on call for another delivery, but it had been a hard one. Appointments again, catching a nap instead of lunch…
“Some?” he said, not wanting to lie or worry her. “I’m not on call tonight, so I’ll get to make some of that up.”
Unless one of his patients went in, in which case, who knew. He was a week away from any due dates, which in baby terms meant nothing.
“You should be sleeping and not worry about me,” she fretted. “Did you want to take this extra food home with you?”
“No,” he assured her. “It’s for you, and I hope you enjoy it.”
“You know I will. I’ve probably put on more pounds than I need because of you.”
“You’ll need all of it,” he promised her, checking to make sure that his keys and phone were in his bag. “Text or call if you need anything, all right?”
“Zhou Mi…”
She had that peculiar look on his face, her brows drawing together, like she was going to protest, or try and pay him or something. He did the only thing he could to cut her off, and hugged her, stroking the damp cloth against her back and tucking her head beneath his chin. He could just barely do so.
“You, take care of yourself,” he told her. “And the little one. A nice tepid shower’d help cool you down a little. If it ever gets too hot in here for you, call me, right away. You’re my model patient, all right?”
“You don’t do this for all your patients.”
“Only ones named Kyuhyun,” he teased. And that made him seem ridiculously out there, so obvious that he was falling for her, courting her. If he had not crossed the line with her already, he was standing at it, seeing how far he could lean before he fell. “I’m happy to do what your family would if they were here.”
“And I’ve got another person to eat for,” she acknowledged. “Good Dr. Zhou.”
“That’s Zhou Mi to you here,” he said, squeezing her and letting her go. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Thank you. Zhou Mi.”
He grinned at her deliberate use of it, knowing she did it to tease him. He closed the door behind him after telling her good night, hearing her lock it behind him, as she should. It had not been the most scintillating visit. Especially since he’d fallen asleep on her. But just seeing her enjoy the food, knowing he’d brought a bright spot to her day. Yes, that had been utterly worth it.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Girl!Kyuhyun
Warning: Girl!Kyu, babies, medical stuff relating to pregnancy and babies, etc.
Summary: First came love, then came...an ultrasound? Somehow the order of those events got mixed up, and when she thought no one was there for her - someone was.
Warning: Girl!Kyu, babies, medical stuff relating to pregnancy and babies, etc.
***
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four
***
Week 32 - June
***
She wasn’t sure if Zhou Mi knew how much he helped her through the weeks following the scare that sent her to the hospital. Even if the bleeding had no determinable cause, and ultimately seemed harmless, he texted her every few days. Sometimes with nothing more than a “Drinking enough? : )” or some kind of peppy quip or quote, and sometimes with a job status. Her favorite had been the “I’ve been in the hospital for 36 hours now, and I don’t know how many of those have actually been spent in a bed. Hospitals do have beds, right? Who funds these places?”
When he’d taken her home from the hospital, feeling quite a bit better after having an IV and as much liquid as she could want, he’d almost paused, like he wanted to come upstairs with her and make sure she’d be okay. Even before he’d picked her up, he had a bag of food waiting in the car, and he carried that to her door for her, setting it inside. Just staples, he said. So she could spend the next day resting. Doctor’s orders, he said. And he’d texted her to be sure she was okay the next day. And then again a few days after that. And it became a routine, checking her phone to see if Zhou Mi had contacted her back. Maybe she occasionally allowed herself to analyze her feelings about it. She had told her friends, mostly because she thought she was losing her mind.
Single man contacting a single woman? They’d gone straight to logic, and bypassed the doctor part entirely. Which she confessed she had as well, but it was harder to be logical when she was enjoying something so much and didn’t want it to stop. Ryeowook had stayed over one night, and they had talked a long time about it. She didn’t quite detail the sick longing she felt, the part where she felt like she had to hold back when texting him, or from texting him too often. But what was unsaid was still seen.
“Why don’t you get another doctor?” Ryeowook asked her. “If he’s interested in you and wants to date you, why not try it? It could be really good for you, especially if he’s as nice a man as you say he is.”
“But there’s the baby. If he doesn’t want-”
“He’s your OBGYN, Kyuhyun,” Ryeowook pointed out with infuriating calmness. “He knows more about your baby than you do. And he’s interested in you despite that?”
“He hasn’t made any romantic overtures.” She didn’t think so anyway. And Ryeowook couldn’t really argue that the text messages counted. They were friendly and concerned, but not really flirty.
“There are a lot of reasons people shouldn’t date their doctors,” Ryeowook said after a few moments. “I just think you’re really between what’s safe and what’s over the line.”
“The only thing that comforts me when I freak out is knowing that Zhou Mi is going to be there when the baby is born. Coaching me, being the first one to hold the baby. I don’t want him to get in trouble, but I can’t imagine giving up on that.”
“And after the baby is born? Would you say yes if he asked you out?”
“Well,then I’d have the baby and a lot of other things to worry about.”
What she had were excuses and fears, and Ryeowook did her best to give her courage, but there was only so much that could be done.
***
Shopping for the baby was one of the most traumatic experiences of her life. She’d gone out unprepared the first time, saw rows of different things and contraptions and promptly went home to research for the rest of her life.
The next time, she had five or six pages full of product reviews and opinions on what was best for this or that. And she still ended up texting Zhou Mi to get his opinion. What she didn’t expect was that she was going to get about five texts back about car seats. She carefully read through them, amused by his earnest answer, and nearly dropped the phone when it started buzzing to tell her a call was incoming.
“Are you shopping right now? Where are you at?” Zhou Mi asked, almost bypassing a hello.
“Yeah, I’ve just been looking around.” She told him the name of the store and heard him hum a moment.
“That’s a pretty good store. My patients have told me about another one, though. It might just be easier to explain in person. Why don’t you meet me in say, 20 minutes? If you get there a little early, sit and get something to drink.”
She was smiling a little helplessly by the time she hung up the phone. He was impossible to resist when he started rambling away about plans, giving her the address, directions, badgering at her to keep getting enough fluids as it got warmer. She sucked in her cheeks and stared down at her obviously rounded stomach. They had the best of people looking out for them, that was for sure. She did arrive just a little before him, getting a tall glass of cool herbal tea with juice and gathering strength. If she was going to have a doctor answering her questions then she was going to get as many answered as she could. It was good, then, that she had a list.
Maybe not a doctor, she though, as he waved cheerfully. Maybe a friend. And it wasn’t against the rules to be friends.
He was already pouring through her list as they went inside, holding the door open to let her and her expanding stomach pass. They were almost immediately accosted by a sales assistant, cheerful and perky and rail thin. And it made her gloomier than her hair color.
“We’re mostly looking,” Kyuhyun answered the girl’s offer of assistance.
“Are you having a son or daughter?” she asked, leading them further into the store and giving them the grand tour. Though the girl looked at Zhou Mi when she asked her question, as though he was the baby’s father. She almost opened her mouth to offer a correction, but Zhou Mi made some kind of negative expression at her. It would be rather…hard to explain.
“A girl,” Kyuhyun answered.
“We just received some really adorable newborn clothes for little girls. They’re all right over here. Let me know if you need anything?”
There was a couple more minutes of Zhou Mi asking about what they had, and Kyuhyun zoning out but for being uncomfortable with how close the girl stood to him as she answered about bassinets and burp rags. That feeling was a little bit of something she didn’t enjoy. There was no reason to be jealous of something so stupid. The girl’s hand sort of fluttered at Zhou Mi’s arm before leaving them alone.
Kyuhyun lowered her voice, almost whispering to him, “She thought we were married? And then was flirting with you?”
“I think she was just trying to get more sales,” Zhou Mi said, kind of laughing and wading into the clothes.
“I don’t know.” And she really didn’t know. She just knew what she hoped. Maybe… Maybe Zhou Mi found the girl more appealing that her rotundness.
“Oh hey, this is cute,” he said, rifling through a rack of frilly dresses. He pulled out a tiny yellow sundress with matching flowered headband. “Kind of like a daisy.”
She stared between the dress and him, and laughed. “Really? Look how small that is. Your hand can almost wear it as a dress.”
He slid his hand up inside it, making the arms move like a puppet before putting it back. It was criminal to make someone laugh that hard in the middle of a store. She and her bladder just barely held on.
“It’s hard to think that a baby is that small,” she murmured, feeling the edge of a silky blanket.
“They seem really small on the outside,” he said, leaning close and seeming to hate to break the news to her. “But I’ve been told it seems like they’re the size of small whales before and during birth.”
He caught the soft toy she lobbed at him with a grin, and put it in the basket. Every kid needed a stuffed dog, he said. His gift.
She was all but glowing from the smiles and laughter by the time she had purchased most of the things on her list. There were a lot of things left, but it was a dent in what she would need for the baby’s arrival. He’d teased her, told her stories of his time in medical school, of deliveries he’d been part of. Putting her at ease and pitching his voice, just so. So that he talked to her so intimately. It didn’t take much imagination to conjure that voice as coming from beside her in bed. She shuddered, and realized her libido wasn’t totally lost after all.
He served another purpose besides advisor, and that was pack mule. Carrying all of her bags on the subway, and all the way to her door.
“I guess I owe you another bowl of soup,” she said, grateful to see the bags in her apartment finally.
Leaning, so tall and perfect, against her doorjamb, he shook his head. “Consider it services rendered. Now I’ll know where to send people. And tell them to bring a wagon, too.”
He bid her goodnight, and she sat, sorting through little items. Tiny nail clippers, a blanket. Things she would use a million times. The baby kicked as she sat, and she rubbed at the spot. Some of the things, like the little stuffed dog he had tossed in, would make her think of Zhou Mi.
And they had that soup she thought she owed him. Eating together almost every few nights. He was so much less her doctor. And so much more Zhou Mi.
***
Week 34 - June
***
Zhou Mi couldn’t erase the worry that he felt when he realized his personal cell phone was being called by a woman asking if he knew Kyuhyun. And though he had been assured that nothing was wrong, it didn’t shake the feeling of unease. Was he available to go to Kyuhyun’s apartment? Of course. Even if it was his day off, and he’d planned to go shopping, he figured he should swing by and see why someone, probably her friend, was calling for her. It made him curious, anyway.
“Zhou Mi?” the woman who answered the door asked, and he blinked at her.
“Yes?”
“I’m Eunhyuk. Come in!”
He realized that his sense of worry had been slightly misplaced as the door shut behind him. It shouldn’t have been for Kyuhyun or the baby, but for himself. He’d just been brought straight into the middle of a baby shower that was being set up by industriously working women.
And Kyuhyun wasn’t in sight.
“Kyuhyun will be here in a little while,” he was told by another person. Ryeowook? He got told other names, and they filtered right out of his brain. They steered him to the laid out food and he started to wonder how he was going to get out of there. There had to be a polite way of saying he needed to leave immediately. Maybe his pager. Oh. His pager.
Still, he hummed, picking up one of the little finger foods they’d set out, and sampling it. It was good, though really, really small. He’d have to eat about 30 of them to feel full. Clearly why finger foods weren’t optimal food for anything but parties, he thought.
Two of Kyuhyun’s friends flanked him, like some kind of fighter jets guiding in a suspicious plane.
“Kyuhyun tells us that you’ve been spending a lot of time together,” the one on his right said, holding some very lovely pink drink. It made the roof of his mouth itch to think of the sugar it probably contained.
“Um, well…”
“But you’re not dating, right?” the one his left asked.
Oh, it was an interrogation. Or an intervention? Something. Oh dear.
“I’m her doctor,” he said firmly. “And her friend, but…”
“You don’t want to date her? Men and women aren’t usually just “friends.” And she’s vulnerable, you know?”
Zhou Mi swallowed, feeling trapped. “I don’t-”
“Are you gay?”
“No!” he burst out, shocked. And so what if he was? But he wasn’t, clearly. He wasn’t leading Kyuhyun on or anything. They didn’t have any sort of agreement or expectation between them.
“No,” he repeated. “No. I like women very much. Kyuhyun is a beautiful woman, and she’s… She’s very important to me. But it’s complicated. I am her doctor, and this isn’t an easy time for her.”
“And you don’t think having someone who can hold her would make it easier?”
“Have you asked her this?” he asked cautiously. What dreams he had in his own head of laying beside Kyuhyun and holding her and waking up next to her were totally irrelevant in the face of what Kyuhyun wanted. Maybe those things would make it easier for Kyuhyun, but maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe they’d just give her more things to stress out about. And she did not just have some small little clutch of baggage, she had a full steamer trunk of it. Her ex-boyfriend, absent family… Things he could only talk to her about, and imagine. She had never wanted to talk about the ex-boyfriend very much. And if they’d been dating for over a year, sleeping together - though he didn’t think about that at all; in his own mind, the baby was conceived immaculately - then it was possible that Kyuhyun had been in love with him. And it didn’t matter if there was a bad breakup or a baby or not, it didn’t take one moment and snapped fingers to get over that. He didn’t want to catch her on some desperate rebound, when anything, anyone looked better than her ex. And if that meant being her friend, then that was what it meant.
“She thinks you painted the stars on the sky,” one of them muttered.
“Um…” Okay, that was awkward.
“Oh, she’s here!”
He heard Kyuhyun’s laughter immediately as she came in, someone getting her with a tiara and a hug. And that sort of went on for a minute until Kyuhyun sat aside her bag, turned, and saw him. And there was that momentary flash of confusion on her face. Yes, he understood that. Baby shower. Man. The two concepts didn’t always go together. But he also saw his chance for escape and he was careening toward it.
“I think I came by at the wrong time,” he murmured almost in her ear. “I don’t have a present anyway, so I’m way too embarrassed to stay.”
She laughed, pushing his arm. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry. Enjoy your party, Kui Xian. Call me after?”
“I will,” she said, and he squeezed her hand for a moment.
“Nice meeting you all!” he called back, getting a good hold on the door.
There was a small chorus of protests, but he just waved and smiled at Kyuhyun.
***
Kyuhyun was still in a state of shock as the door closed behind Zhou Mi. And she had caught that little look of “whew, I’m getting away” that he’s shot her when he was hidden from the others behind the door. The little rat. Of course she’d known about the baby shower, her friends weren’t that sadistic. They’d just kicked her out of her apartment so that they could set up. And apparently so that they could organize a different kind of surprise altogether.
“Did one of you invite Zhou Mi?” she asked, fixing people with stares.
“Aww, he should’ve stayed!”
“Why were you flirting with him!” Ryeowook asked, laughing.
“Hey, he was cute! And it was before Kyuhyun came! I definitely wouldn’t have again after I saw how he looked at her.”
“Looked at me,” Kyuhyun scoffed.
“He was practically eating you up from the second you came in the door.”
“There’s a lot of me to eat,” she said wryly, patting her stomach.
“Maybe he wants kids?”
Maybe he did. Kyuhyun let her eyes close for a moment. Seeing him there in his smart shirt, a dab of some kind of sauce at the corner of his mouth. Telling her goodbye, almost hugging her. Almost like they were dating, or even more. It was impossible not to go there in her head.
“So is this about Zhou Mi and I, or the baby?” she asked.
“We just worry.”
“I know. I know. But he and I… I know what you see. I think we both see it. We haven’t talked about it, but it’s hard, okay?”
There was some kind of group hug by commune, rubbing her stomach in support. And the mood shifted. Support turned to joy as she got stuffed with cake and food. Opening gifts. Clothes, supplies. Funny shirts. Even some cute tops for her, for when her belly was smaller. She hugged those like they were going to disappear.
“One day I won’t be pregnant,” she said, petting the soft fabric.
“And you’ll be a mommy!”
There were soft coos and sighs around the room. It was like a small baby store had thrown up in her living room. One by one they trickled out, a couple staying a little longer to help put away extra food, clear dishes, but in general she just wanted them gone. It had been tiring, too tiring. Just looking at the gift bags, knowing she had to write out cards. Putting her apartment back together. In truth, there wasn’t that much to do. They hadn’t left her with a disaster zone, cleaning up after themselves. There were just some dishes, and organization, and maybe mopping and vacuuming.
She couldn’t even think of it, curling onto the couch with her cell phone. She had Zhou Mi’s number on speed dial.
He picked up almost instantly. “You have fun?”
“I did.” She debated with herself. “You’re probably at home relaxing, so you probably don’t want to…”
“You want me to come over?” She heard a chair scraping in the background. “I’m just around the corner, so I can be there in a few minutes if you’re up to it?”
Of course he was. She shook her head. “Yes. Please.”
She just needed…something. Him, mostly likely. Just the thought of having him around made her almost drunk with relief. For some reason, she wasn’t surprised that he came in with a bag in his hand.
“Quite a haul,” he said, admiring the orderly little line of gifts. “Here’s one more.”
The bag was heavier than she thought it was going to be, and she sat it on the table. Pulling out the top layer, and almost dropping it when she realized it was the yellow baby sundress that Zhou Mi had admired before.
“What?” he asked, all innocence. “I couldn’t just leave it there.”
Burp cloths, a pacifier with a giraffe on it. She laughed as she set them aside. Board books. She sighed as she lifted four of them out.
“She’ll need an early start on reading if she’s going to be a doctor.” And oh, how smug he sounded.
“She’ll teethe on them is what she’ll do.”
But they still made her sigh. As much as the next few books made her confused. Novels, popular ones. She hadn’t read them, but she stared at him in confusion.
“For down time, if you can’t sleep, or when you’re nursing,” he explained. “Just something to take your mind off stuff. That’s it, by the way. There’s nothing else hidden under there.”
“So you had a shopping expedition while we ate cake,” she said softly. “Zhou Mi… Thank you.”
“Hey, I couldn’t get out of the festivities that lightly. You’re welcome.”
He accepted her hug, letting her curl against his side for minutes stretching on. The warmth of him, the smell of his detergent, cologne, sweat. She could have breathed him for days. And nearly fell asleep doing so.
He touched her face. “And you’re tired. Why don’t you take a nap? You had a long day.”
She smiled, clearly drooping.
He tried not to imagine following her into her bedroom, imagining only to soothe her frazzled nerves. Maybe he shouldn’t have come back, knowing that it would’ve been draining for her. But it had been the itch he could not scratch, shopping for her, buying the baby dress, the books. Sitting in the cafe and brooding until she had actually called. Perhaps she needed him to help clean, or maybe just to talk. And while her needs were forefront on his mind, he had needs of his own. Wondering what the women at the party would have told her, if anything. If they had upset her.
And it was as though she read his thoughts, staring back at him before disappearing into her room.
“Just rest, and don’t worry about me,” he told her. “I’ll amuse myself and we can get some food later.”
He sat down on the couch, and let his eyes close. Seeing her on the bed in his mind, looking up at him. She was squeezing her hands together in strange patterns. “Would you…”
He would sort of circle his finger, suggesting she turn, and asking if that was what she wanted.
“Do you like watching me all awkward like this?” she asked, sounding skeptical, but still turning over.
He would snuggle up against her, looping an arm around her stomach and resting his head against hers. “Just get some rest, okay?”
Her fingers would thread through his, long, graceful. Warm.. “How do you always know what I need?”
“Lots of schooling… And because I care.”
“It was worth it.”
What was? He wondered. The schooling? The caring? Meeting him?
“Sleep, Kui Xian.”
With his hand over hers, he’d squeeze her. Just holding her until he felt her breathing even. He left her there, easing off the bed, closing her bedroom door. Little moments like that, he wanted those. So many of those. If he had done it, it would have crossed a line so far he almost couldn’t see how far he’d come. But he’d kept himself back. Careful. Careful, he warned himself. He was free only up to a point. And what he’d imagined he’d done? What he wished he could do?
He even fell asleep himself, for twenty minutes or so, waking on her couch with a sigh.
He conquered the dishes first, washing very quietly, very slow. Mopping up any traces of cake or crumbs from the floor. Sort of straightening anything he knew where it ought to be.
She waddled, cutely, out after another hour, yawning as she sank into the couch and blinking away the moisture that came because of it. He set aside the baby magazine he’d been reading and smiled at her and her slightly rumpled hair.
“Feel better?”
“Mm,” she agreed. “I needed that. So many people.”
She seemed to smell the air, swiveling her head toward the kitchen. “Did you clean?”
“I just finished the dishes, and mopped out there, that’s all,” he said. “And I ate a piece of cake?”
She kicked at his knee. “Should I start calling you slave? That’s not why you came over.”
“Don’t tell me why I came over,” he said, nudging her back. “Besides, it was good cake.”
“I don’t know what to do with you,” she muttered, sitting up. “Ugh. Writing thank you cards for those presents. Why?”
“Do you need to get cards?”
She shook her head. “No, I have them. Maybe I should just do it now in case I mixed anything up. So I remember who gave me what.”
“I’ll help? I can… Address envelopes or something?”
“What are they going to think if the envelopes have different handwriting than the cards?”
“That you have a really excellent secretary?” he asked coyly.
“Masochist. You are a masochist.”
“Only for fun things,” he called after her as she went to retrieve the cards.
And it was fun, getting to see the cute little baby clothes and toys she had received. She handed him an address book and stickers with her own address on them, and he filled out envelopes as she made out cards. He watched the faces she made as she tried to make appropriate and personal thanks on each card.
Then they got to the shirts that her friends had purchased for her and he kind of wished he’d thought of it, at least until she opened her mouth.
“These shirts are adorable,” she said, sort of holding a bright red one up against herself. “They’re supposed to make me excited about the baby being born, and having my body back. And being motivated to lose the baby weight. They’re so cute. And they just make me feel like a cow.”
“You’ll fit into those not too long after the baby is born,” he assured her. Assuming they were big enough in the bust, he thought. But the bottom certainly looked loose enough. She looked skeptical. “Hey, I saw you before you gained almost any weight, and I’m your doctor, okay? I know these things.”
“I’m your doctor, okay,” she mimicked, picking up her pen again.
“Well, I am. You’re just where you should be in terms of weight gain, so you’re a perfectly proportioned cow. I…You know what I mean!”
He could almost see it move across her face, into her eyes, before it broke. Thankfully she was crying with laughter instead of because she was upset. “Your face,” she gasped.
He stood with dignity, his knees cracking as he did so. “I’m going to go call for some dinner. What do you want?”
“Not beef,” she croaked out between muffled laughs.
They last of the cards was finished before the food arrived, and she all but broke her pen in victory of it. They poked at the takeout over a movie on the television, him suggesting that she keep her feet up. Imagining that he could soothe them for her. Totally altruistic, of course. Getting her off her feet, not buzzing around, that was the main thing. And she was definitely drooping by the time the credits rolled. It was late. He hadn’t meant to stay so long.
“I’ll go so you can get some rest,” he said. “On the bed, and not the couch.”
He took her offered hands, helping her onto her feet. And then also, into his arms. Just holding her. Smelling her. Enjoying the jut of her stomach, the softness of her breasts, her hair. There wasn’t any denying it.
“When they left, I just wanted you here,” she said softly. “I was so tired… It felt like they were draining me? And somehow you calm me down.”
“Zen Mi?” he offered, feeling her laugh against him. “Sleep well.”
“You called me… You called me Kui Xian, again, before.”
He smiled at her. “Sleep well, Kui Xian.” He patted her stomach. “And you too.”
He left, knowing he didn’t want to. Knowing he wanted to crawl into her bed and hold her, kiss her. Feel her hair against his shoulder, and her lips against his neck. He flipped into his phone’s photo album, pulling up one of the pictures he had of her, of them. Shopping for baby supplies, him grinning and trying to get on her level and having her stick her tongue out at him. It was a picture he looked at every day. How right they looked together. He couldn’t even keep the picture as his display, because of work, and what he was to her. Maybe she felt she owed him a lot, but he owed her a lot, too. He let the phone’s screen tilt against his forehead and just let himself pretend.
***
Week 36 - June
***
“How are you?” he texted her.
“Horrible,” she replied. Then after a moment, after his eyebrows had risen, he received, “It’s too hot, and my ankles look like Greek pillars.”
“Get some water, and put your Greek pillars up,” he admonished, knowing she was probably pacing around. “I’m off in 30 minutes - will bring food.”
Even with air conditioning and fans, the heat was oppressive. He felt like he was swimming as he went to his car. All his friends thought he was insane, the non-doctor ones. He didn’t speak so much about what was happening to the other doctors. Not, he thought, that he had done anything particularly wrong. There was nothing in the rule book against going to his favorite restaurant and begging and pleading with them to make him several cold salads so that he could take them to his patient. His patient who had sounded miserable and probably wasn’t eating well because of the heat. All his other patients were enduring the same things. It wasn’t as though he could only use the excuse that Kyuhyun was alone, no family. She had friends who probably would help her. But still, he shifted the container of fruit-sweetened tea to knock.
The first thing he saw was the tips of her toes, peeking out from under the breezy dress she wore. Held up by straps at her shoulders, it fell loose from beneath her breasts. Probably one of the coolest things she could wear, in addition to not constricting her stomach.
“Delivery,” he said, smiling and jostling the bag in his hand.
She’d braided back her hair, he saw, keeping it from rioting all over in the humidity. He liked that riot, but he managed to tamp it down. It was either constrain her hair, or fear that she’d take scissors and lop off the long, beautiful mass of it. He’d rather see it bound back, if those were the options. Though she would still be herself either way.
“You didn’t have to,” she told him. “Really…”
“Sit,” he urged her, when she made to follow him into the kitchen. “I can find the plates. You should keep your feet up. Go on.”
He shooed her gently, her face showing she wasn’t quite okay with it, but not quite up to arguing with him either. He thought she’d probably find that part of her before too long. As soon as the heat let her, anyway. He took her the drink first, finding ice cubes in her freezer enough to cool the tea a little further. It was a pretty pink in her clear glasses, and he tucked it into her hand.
“Doctor’s orders,” he told her. “You’re drinking plenty of fluids?”
“Yes, sir,” she said, a little sheepish. She craned her head back to look up at him. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me until you see what else I brought,” he cautioned, laughing as he went back out to dish it up. A cold chicken salad with a hint of spice, a second of whole grains in a light vinaigrette, and a third of melons and fruit. Enough, he hoped, to tempt her. If she liked them, he’d brought extra as well, so she could have some for the next day. He didn’t put much on the plate, not wanting to overwhelm her. Just hoping that she would eat.
He would have been lying if he said he hadn’t watched her face as he handed her the plate, and kept watching as he sat. Until she’d bitten into the first piece of moist, succulent chicken, and with a moan, closed her eyes. Almost whimpering against her knuckles as she chewed. His mouth watered in sympathy, and he shoveled food into his mouth so that it didn’t get any ideas of its own.
She tried the other salad, and then the fruit.
“You’re like my fairy godmother,” she mumbled around a bite of watermelon.
“Do I get wings?” he teased her.
Her whole body shook with the laugh. “I’d like to see that.”
He let himself get comfortable, leaning back, not too close beside her, letting his legs stretch out to rest on the table her own were resting on. And he was glad to see she had a cute little cushion beneath her feet. In his dark socks, and even with the swelling in her ankles, his feet still seemed to dwarf hers.
She apparently noticed that as well.
“Bigfoot,” she accused, half kicking at him.
“Littlefoot?” he ventured, watching for her reaction.
“That’s just mean,” she told him, smiling as she continued eating. “This is really amazing. I don’t even know how I can thank you.”
“You are - by eating it,” he said. “It’s hard to get much appetite up when it gets hot like this.”
She agreed without words, and he let his head fall back, listening to the sound of the humming fan. It was a nice apartment, pretty clean. But the appeal of course was Kyuhyun. He wondered what kind of girlfriend she would make. What kind of wife. He sighed and let his eyes close, dreaming.
***
He came out of sleep with a start, smelling something that clearly wasn’t his own apartment, or the hospital either. He realized he’d passed out on Kyuhyun’s couch, and she’d wedged a pillow beside him to keep him from falling right over onto her. He sat up, sheepishly, wondering where she was. From the sounds of it, the kitchen, since their dishes were gone. He pushed himself to his feet with a groan, walking toward the sound. How pretty she was, setting the last plate into the little dish drainer, drying her hands on the light blue towel. Looking cool and light in that dress. He could imagine so easily walking up behind her and just wrapping his arms around her. Kissing her cheek, her neck, and feeling her lean into him.
Instead he leaned against the doorframe, sighing so that he didn’t startle her.
“Sorry for passing out on you like that,” he said. “It was a long day.”
She smiled, nearly reaching for her stomach out of habit before curbing it. “Don’t worry, I had a little nap, too. The good food will do that. How much sleep have you had in the last few days?”
He thought. There was had been the two deliveries the night before, work. He’d been on call for another delivery, but it had been a hard one. Appointments again, catching a nap instead of lunch…
“Some?” he said, not wanting to lie or worry her. “I’m not on call tonight, so I’ll get to make some of that up.”
Unless one of his patients went in, in which case, who knew. He was a week away from any due dates, which in baby terms meant nothing.
“You should be sleeping and not worry about me,” she fretted. “Did you want to take this extra food home with you?”
“No,” he assured her. “It’s for you, and I hope you enjoy it.”
“You know I will. I’ve probably put on more pounds than I need because of you.”
“You’ll need all of it,” he promised her, checking to make sure that his keys and phone were in his bag. “Text or call if you need anything, all right?”
“Zhou Mi…”
She had that peculiar look on his face, her brows drawing together, like she was going to protest, or try and pay him or something. He did the only thing he could to cut her off, and hugged her, stroking the damp cloth against her back and tucking her head beneath his chin. He could just barely do so.
“You, take care of yourself,” he told her. “And the little one. A nice tepid shower’d help cool you down a little. If it ever gets too hot in here for you, call me, right away. You’re my model patient, all right?”
“You don’t do this for all your patients.”
“Only ones named Kyuhyun,” he teased. And that made him seem ridiculously out there, so obvious that he was falling for her, courting her. If he had not crossed the line with her already, he was standing at it, seeing how far he could lean before he fell. “I’m happy to do what your family would if they were here.”
“And I’ve got another person to eat for,” she acknowledged. “Good Dr. Zhou.”
“That’s Zhou Mi to you here,” he said, squeezing her and letting her go. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Thank you. Zhou Mi.”
He grinned at her deliberate use of it, knowing she did it to tease him. He closed the door behind him after telling her good night, hearing her lock it behind him, as she should. It had not been the most scintillating visit. Especially since he’d fallen asleep on her. But just seeing her enjoy the food, knowing he’d brought a bright spot to her day. Yes, that had been utterly worth it.
***