FIrstly, never underestimate that sexism could be at play. I find it suspicious that Boss Lady is gone and now this. Also because you've told that he's careful how & when his behavior is seen (too bad there is no recording equipment).
Secondly, this is being done in a strategic manner; Smarmy knows exactly what he's doing and prob won't stop until anyone he dislikes a lot is fired. You don't really "owe" him an apology unless you cursed a lot, threatened physical harm, and/or suggested implicit acts with his mother or other family members.
Lastly, hang on the fact that you can have your revenge, and could someone please help you to word it into a fauxpology. As in, something like, "I am apologizing for the second time for raising my voice and upsetting you after finding my equipment missing. I'm certain this will be the last of these incidents because I've been assured this won't happen again and I have no intention of repeating such behavior either; I'm certainly not known for blowing up at people
( ... )
Sexism would explain some of it. IST gives the impression of being the big man on campus and it's possible he is at his main job, however, here I'm Senior Teacher on Sundays so any final decisions are mine and I get the feeling he really doesn't like that
( ... )
I can't though understand why he's going to these lengths
Certain types of people will go to the most extraordinary lengths to hold onto or grab at any tiny smidgen of power over others, even if it's just insisting on a second apology from you. From your description of his behavior, I have little doubt that there's some kind of misogyny or other bigotry at play - this is typical behavior for people like that, too.
Unfortunately, rational, goal-oriented people like you and I (and probably most other posters and commenters here) find behavior like that completely inexplicable, because there is no real goal or outcome other than stirring up trouble.
I like theidolhands's suggestions for a fauxpology. If you word it carefully, you should be able to give a seemingly sincere apology that also makes it clear that you are apologizing for nothing.
I'm sorry to hear about this. I hope you are keeping as detailed of a record of this assinine behavior as you have on here. The BossMan should see your brief list. It's so childish.
Good luck, keep your head up, arsewipes like this like to cow and bully people, hopefully he'll find a new target and leave you alone?
If it makes you smile, here's an awesome faux apology from Oz that's gotta make a person chuckle. Long story short guys buys a Jeep, it break downs a LOAD of times, Jeep is an arsewipe to man about it, he destroys the Jeep, Jeep demands a public apology legally for the defamation, man goes to local consumer TV program and gets help making an appropriate apology. Jeep has yet to respond.
If it's not too late....kraziekatlordApril 14 2015, 00:51:42 UTC
Perhaps something like:
"Once again, I'm sorry for shouting at you when I thought company property, which was in my care, was stolen. Once again, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, and I hope we can set aside all hurt feelings to move forward and work together as a team once more."
That way, you can show why you yelled, concern for company equipment, and imply that your own feelings were hurt, but you're being the adult and not throwing temper tantrums about it.
Comments 7
Secondly, this is being done in a strategic manner; Smarmy knows exactly what he's doing and prob won't stop until anyone he dislikes a lot is fired. You don't really "owe" him an apology unless you cursed a lot, threatened physical harm, and/or suggested implicit acts with his mother or other family members.
Lastly, hang on the fact that you can have your revenge, and could someone please help you to word it into a fauxpology. As in, something like, "I am apologizing for the second time for raising my voice and upsetting you after finding my equipment missing. I'm certain this will be the last of these incidents because I've been assured this won't happen again and I have no intention of repeating such behavior either; I'm certainly not known for blowing up at people ( ... )
Reply
Reply
I agree with your whole plan.
Okay with the rewording, but then add, "Once again, I'm sorry for shouting at you.." (although I prefer "that it upset you" because wow what a baby).
I think it's important to add that you've already apologized, since you're the grown up in this situation apparently.
Reply
Certain types of people will go to the most extraordinary lengths to hold onto or grab at any tiny smidgen of power over others, even if it's just insisting on a second apology from you. From your description of his behavior, I have little doubt that there's some kind of misogyny or other bigotry at play - this is typical behavior for people like that, too.
Unfortunately, rational, goal-oriented people like you and I (and probably most other posters and commenters here) find behavior like that completely inexplicable, because there is no real goal or outcome other than stirring up trouble.
I like theidolhands's suggestions for a fauxpology. If you word it carefully, you should be able to give a seemingly sincere apology that also makes it clear that you are apologizing for nothing.
Reply
Reply
If it makes you smile, here's an awesome faux apology from Oz that's gotta make a person chuckle. Long story short guys buys a Jeep, it break downs a LOAD of times, Jeep is an arsewipe to man about it, he destroys the Jeep, Jeep demands a public apology legally for the defamation, man goes to local consumer TV program and gets help making an appropriate apology. Jeep has yet to respond.
http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/man-who-destroyed-jeep-makes-tongue-in-cheek-apology/story-fnn8dlfs-1227299144701
Reply
"Once again, I'm sorry for shouting at you when I thought company property, which was in my care, was stolen. Once again, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, and I hope we can set aside all hurt feelings to move forward and work together as a team once more."
That way, you can show why you yelled, concern for company equipment, and imply that your own feelings were hurt, but you're being the adult and not throwing temper tantrums about it.
Reply
Leave a comment