One Night, One Vorn Part 2

Apr 30, 2011 17:44


According to the Lj error message the Story was to big for one post, here is the rest.

One Night, One Vorn - Part 2 )

smokescreen, community challenge response, prowl, jazz, jazz/prowl

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Comments 16

femme4jack May 1 2011, 05:54:57 UTC
This was so well imagined and executed. I loved all the details you put into a preprogrammed mechs' existence. It felt so realistic to me - the idea of them having to buy off their contract, and yet also so very unethical. It was fascinating to see Prowl and Smokey's very different reactions to it, and sad for Smokey that what he wants so much, he might never have.

Loved the way you explained sparks being in sync, and your take on nobility. Just all around great, imaginative world building with characters I really loved and cared for. Thanks for writing it!

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cmdrtekk May 1 2011, 16:56:21 UTC
It pleases me to get the feedback that the details of the world worked well enough in the storyline as they really were a requirement to understanding the general situation of the characters.

Unethical hmmm. To our way of thinking perhaps because it is like being born with a mortgage payment we are responsible for from the cradle. But in their society it is common place enough that most of the time no one thinks twice about it. And when they due think about it is is usually political because contracted mechs aren't cheap. Contracted mechs may complain about their contract but it is more in the sense of how college students complain about term papers. It's something to complain about because it comes with the territory. For contracted mechs they can do everything the rest of the working class bots can do. They get wages from their job, most of which goes towards the contract yes - but they still have personal spending money. Housing and all their living needs are covered for them - even if it gets added to the contract and ( ... )

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cmdrtekk May 1 2011, 16:58:03 UTC
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It is appreciated. I enjoyed this world and am not opposed to more in it should it arise.

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starsheild May 1 2011, 15:34:40 UTC
I like the world you have created here! And I have to agree with some of the other comments- Jazz's round-about-straight-forward way of making explanations had me smiling.

The characterization of Jazz being openly a noble and an Enforcer was neat too.

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cmdrtekk May 1 2011, 17:00:38 UTC
Good to hear about things you liked. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It is always appreciated.

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sideslip_tf May 1 2011, 18:18:02 UTC
I really enjoyed that. I liked how Jazz was portrayed as being very much in touch with the commoners and even admitted to Prowl how selfish he had been (and bent a few rules by interfacing with Prowl). Good job explaining how Prowl struggled with suddenly being "free" when he was not expecting it but did follow the rules and taking the mandated time to explore. Overall, a very nice story and well-keeping with the challenge!

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cmdrtekk May 3 2011, 02:15:15 UTC
Thank you for the feedback on the story. You touched on some of the points I had been wondering on. I appreciate you having taken the time to read and comment.

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