Checking in: a number of things

[cleolinda]

You haven't heard from me much because I have been really, deeply, severely depressed for the last couple of weeks. I tried to write up a huge entry describing what it feels like, and then... I got too depressed to post it. Maybe I'll polish it up and post it later, because I think it might be valuable for 1) people who might recognize themselves

Comments

[laurelin_kit]

If it makes you feel any better I've had my ghetto-ass external (just a hard drive in an external CASE, not even one of the new fancy ones) for like three years and I've never had a problem with it, and I abuse it more than I should. Also. GMAIL. I email myself every paper I write for classes. You could even set up a separate account just to email your notes to.

[channonyarrow]

Ditto the gmail, or look into something like box.net or dropbox as storage. I have a couple of websites where I dump important stuff into non-publicly-accessible folders, but that might not work for you - I don't recall you ever linking us to your own website, for example. But get your data into the cloud, keep local copies, and there you go. Even if one fails, the other isn't likely to fail at the same time.

(Having said that, now a lightning strike will take out both your external drive and all of Google's servers. Sorry about that.)

[quorothorn]

Yeah, I've used the "e-mail to yourself" trick for college papers running on several years now (albeit not with Gmail). Works beautifully. Of course, now I won't need it for that purpose ever again, so...yeah.

Meanwhile, my backup hard drive died for no apparent reason a while ago, and two of my three new-bought memory sticks no longer work. So if my laptop were to finally succumb after its long fight with some manner of electronic terminal disease...well. I won't lose my Word documents, because they're small enough to all fit on another memory stick that is actually historically reliable, but most of the bigger documents have no chance. I've essentially given up my RealPlayer library (of like 1,300 files, naturally) for dead and stopped worrying about it.

The gist of the matter is that I don't quite trust these sort of devices anymore.

[clodia_risa]

Months of research from my husband's dissertation was saved because of Gmail when the idiot techs decided to reformat the buggy hard drive on the lab computer without backing it up. Fortunately, my husband emailed the new spreadsheets and data etc. approximately every week to his professor (who was in another state at the time) so he didn't lose several years worth of research.

[fabricdragon]

ah. yes it sounds like you are doing better.
i have had my head so deep in my own issues that i barely came up for air lately, so my apologies for not noticing.. i do that... it isnt personal, i just get wrapped up and forget to check in on my flists.

continue to do better.

i find that several of the BPAl oils work wonders on my mood. even mundanely scent is a powerful mood /memory trigger.... i was thinking of ordering some of the special blends myself, after the next show when i have a little money.
maybe we could split some, i have decant supplies.....
white light, wealthy business, etc.

[silverember]

I think you should post what you have to say about depression. I've been struggling (to put it lightly) with it as well recently. It's a comfort to know that I'm not alone, and you are always so eloquent. I want to say something encouraging here but I know that all of the words in the world don't really make it better. I hope that the fact that I'm actually speaking up and not lurking (as per usual) is enough :/

[janiaskywalker]

Thanks. I've been wildly depressed lately. I like to call it high functioning depression. I get out of bed, make it through the work day, then crash land on the sofa. Later rinse repeat. As a writer-ly hopeful I'm feeling similar crushing doubts about my work, and I haven't had a really constructive burst of creativity in ages.

So what I guess I'm saying is thanks for reminding me I'm not alone, and for the BPAL thoughts. They sound like they work well, and perhaps they'll help out a basket case like me. Thanks for being so awesome, and I hope the clouds part for you soon!

[1grl_revolution]

I'm curious about your thoughts on what you call "high functioning depression", if you'd be interested in sharing- that sounds like what I do.

[janiaskywalker]

Well, since I'm able to get up and go about my day, I consider what I'm feeling to be fairly manageable. The fact that I'm usually only a hair trigger away from bursting into tears is just something that seems to go with the landscape these days. Especially considering how it's a step up from the can't-get-out-of-bed-and-hope-to-never-wake-up kind of depression I've had in years past.

"High functioning" well those are basically just words I use to make myself feel saner, calmer and more in control of my sadness than I probably am. Whether that's really high functioning or not, that I don't know.

[1grl_revolution]

Thank you for sharing that. :)

[boompsy]

Just stopping by to say thanks for letting us know how things are. Not sure what's most supportive to say right now, (words of comfort, cheering up, acceptance etc.) but whatever it is, I mean it! I do want to reassure you that there's no pressure here and all that. Anything people here can do to help?