Checking in: a number of things

[cleolinda]

You haven't heard from me much because I have been really, deeply, severely depressed for the last couple of weeks. I tried to write up a huge entry describing what it feels like, and then... I got too depressed to post it. Maybe I'll polish it up and post it later, because I think it might be valuable for 1) people who might recognize themselves

Comments

[janiaskywalker]

Thanks. I've been wildly depressed lately. I like to call it high functioning depression. I get out of bed, make it through the work day, then crash land on the sofa. Later rinse repeat. As a writer-ly hopeful I'm feeling similar crushing doubts about my work, and I haven't had a really constructive burst of creativity in ages.

So what I guess I'm saying is thanks for reminding me I'm not alone, and for the BPAL thoughts. They sound like they work well, and perhaps they'll help out a basket case like me. Thanks for being so awesome, and I hope the clouds part for you soon!

[1grl_revolution]

I'm curious about your thoughts on what you call "high functioning depression", if you'd be interested in sharing- that sounds like what I do.

[janiaskywalker]

Well, since I'm able to get up and go about my day, I consider what I'm feeling to be fairly manageable. The fact that I'm usually only a hair trigger away from bursting into tears is just something that seems to go with the landscape these days. Especially considering how it's a step up from the can't-get-out-of-bed-and-hope-to-never-wake-up kind of depression I've had in years past.

"High functioning" well those are basically just words I use to make myself feel saner, calmer and more in control of my sadness than I probably am. Whether that's really high functioning or not, that I don't know.

[1grl_revolution]

Thank you for sharing that. :)

[chulacabra]

This is what I consider to by high-functioning depression: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysthymia

[1grl_revolution]

Thank you for the link.

[txvoodoo]

I go thru a lot of high functioning depression. And a lot of mid-level functioning ;) I'm just happy when I can avoid the complete NON-functioning level.

my two cents

[katimus]

I'm like that, too - I guess it's kinda like getting migraines on weekends when it's "allowed" - i.e. when you don't have to be at work or function for your family or whatnot. I go to work and I'm fine, but then I come home and feel like I'm wrapped up in this black shroud of sadness and weariness and I don't know why I even bother. But then in the morning I get up and go to work again. I guess people put a lot of pressure on themselves to not break down completely and keep up a facade of doing okay for the people around them, because nobody likes to look weak and our instincts tell us to fight as long as we can (I like to relate this to animals who will only show signs of sickness when it's almost too late because their instincts tell them that weak or sick members of the herd, flock or whatever will be left behind so they have to keep pretending they're fine until they can't anymore