So I saw Breaking Dawn (Part Two, Some More, Whatever)

[cleolinda]

@cleolinda: #leavingthehouseomg #sparkledammerung

@cleolinda: These gifs express my feelings on the bittersweet ending of the Twilight movies.

@cleolinda: An hour early was not early enough. Line all the way through the building to the back door. Forgot one does not simply walk into Twilight.

@cleolinda: The line has now doubled all the way

Comments

[das_mervin]

I was gonna go see it. I always do. Only one I skipped on was New Moon because I knew it would infuriate me to the point I'd do something that got me thrown out of the theater. But, after Part I failed to bring my lolz like the previous ones had and had betray me so I fed up with this world /theroom, I bowed out. I'll see it, but not in theaters. Plus, I too am heavily spoilered. Seeing this one would just....make me mad.

Plus, I know there would be less Leah. Which is tragedy. There needs to be more Leah, not less. Well, so long as she's handled by someone that isn't Stephenie Meyer. *still living in fear that Meyer will go through with her threat of writing a new book from Leah's POV*

Though what Aro does at the end? THAT ALMOST MADE ME GO. Because I hate Carlisle so freaking much. YES, I KNOW THE "TWIST". Just seeing it almost makes everything worth it.

[cleolinda]

I don't even dig Carlisle all that much (nor do I know what's happened to Peter Facinelli's face since the first movie), but just the visceral horror of O SNAP, LOOK WHO'S DEAD freaked me out so bad, and I even knew it was going to happen (well, I didn't know until that moment that we were entering the Grand Fakeout, but still). The really funny part was, since I knew nothing was going to stick, I wondered if they might really go all out and kill EVERYONE. There was a point where I legit thought that guy was going to kill Jacob and possibly even Renesmee (or at least grab her), and I really truly thought for about five seconds that Edward might actually die in the ravine. Because, hey--it doesn't count, right? I would give a million billion dollars to be in a theater on the opening night of a movie where they killed off Jacob and/or Edward, even if they undid it five seconds later. I would also bring riot gear.

[das_mervin]

I mostly think the fake-out vision does a good job of demonstrating how stupid all of the Cullen allies were. What the hell was Benjamin doing for this whole fake vision? Did he have a dentist appointment? Because if you look closely at all of the allies the Cullens had in canon? THEY COULD'VE KILLED THE VOLTURI WITHOUT MOVING. All forty of 'em! Bella blocks the powers, Zafrina fakes them out and makes them see visions that aren't real, whether they be trippy freaky ones or just a vision that the clearing is completely empty, and then Benjamin fires a flare gun into their midst and lights the bitches up. If he controls fire, he can make that fire hot enough to burn them without the usual tearing apart, as Meyer has canonically confirmed can happen. PROBLEM SOLVED. So I have no idea where Meyer got the idea that there had to be no battle at all if she wanted her good guys to survive. Makes no sense

[cleolinda]

Ohhhhh no, Benjamin is there, and he's making it all worse. He creates the ravine that Leah falls into. BY PUNCHING THE EARTH.

HELP I CANNOT REMEMBER SPECIFICS (ALL THE SPOILERS)

[cleolinda]

Well, first, in case you would like a translation of the [spoiler] sentence:

I had read an article on the MTV movies blog months ago that very casually mentioned that they had shot "a vision Alice has of SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENING a battle that goes really badly" sequence. Carlisle even loses his head! Peter Facinelli thinks we're going to love it! And I thought it was just going to be some little thirty-second warning vision Alice has in the middle of the movie when she sees that the Volturi are coming; I didn't realize it would be the Big Finale. So the Scream Section starts, and I'm like... WHAT IN THE SWEET NAME OF SPARKLE IS HAPPE... oh. So I was all horrified when it happened but also knew it was going to be undone in the end, and so I wasn't as freaked out as the rest of the audience

Re: HELP I CANNOT REMEMBER SPECIFICS (ALL THE SPOILERS)

[das_mervin]

JASPER GETS HIS HEAD TORN OFF, TOO?!

Oh my God, this movie seriously wants me to see it.

/sorry I can't be helpful, normally I would *handwring*

Re: HELP I CANNOT REMEMBER SPECIFICS (ALL THE SPOILERS)

[cleolinda]

YESSSSSS. That is the other Cullen who gets it. Two Volturi, whoever, are holding him down and then they basically execute him, IIRC. Before that, when it starts, Carlisle charges Aro because it looks like they're going to hurt Alice. Mid-air Carlisle-Aro battlejump collision! But only Carlisle's body hits the ground, and his head is in Aro's hand. The scream in the audience was AMAZING.

Also, they kill at least two wolves. Seth and Leah, IIRC. Oh, and Dracula 1 and 2.

Re: HELP I CANNOT REMEMBER SPECIFICS (ALL THE SPOILERS)

[das_mervin]

Okay, Jasper can go die because he's a psychopath who tortures people for fun (and still does, because I read Bree Tanner), but if they killed Leah--imaginary sequence or no--I will arm myself with a cactus and hit someone. Possibly my own face. Because the rage will be that big.

[aranel13]

Having read the spoiler, I now find myself actually interested in seeing this movie, if only to see my cousin scream her little heart out.

Did I mention I thrive on the anguish of others?

Or so I've been told.

[cleolinda]

It's kind of worth it just for how balls-out unlike the book that whole sequence is. The way Aro gets killed is MAGICAL. It involves Edward throwing Bella at his head, for one.

[beth_shulman]

...Okay, now I'm tempted. LOL forevah.

[aranel13]

Okay, THAT one, I hadn't heard! Gotta see it now. Damn it.

[litlover12]

BWAHAHA at those gifs! Perfect!

Can't wait for That Of Which We Do Not Speak. (But no pressure. :-) ) I went in unspoiled on Friday, and was all "Wait! WHAT? Really? Holy -- Ohhhhhhhh." The entire theater could not stop laughing when the [spoiler] turned out to be all a [spoiler].

But now I REALLY want to see Alice wearing Aro's face as a jaunty beret. Darn it.

Hope your grandma is doing okay.

[cleolinda]

Thanks. Her surgery was necessary but minor; this week, she's got a really bad cold (flu?), and I'm mostly concerned because anything can turn bad at her age. So I'm generally worried, but it's nothing serious at the moment. Of course, I'll be seeing her a good bit this week, so if she's at all contagious, I'll probably come down with something as well.

[litlover12]

Prayer offered, for her and you! Glad the surgery went well.

[ladysugarquill]

I think this is a spoiler zone, but just in case -

--- SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS ---

I have many thoughts on this film, but the main one is: Who the fuck thought that creepy-ass computer baby was a good idea? D:

Otherwise, it was fun. Sometimes even intentionally! :D My friends were freaking out and crying at the end - to my confused looks, they don't really like Twilight - while I was celebrating each gory death. Too bad that after the second main character killed I knew it was all a vision.

Aro is magnificent. And Dakota Fanning should star in all the things.

One more thing - this legit happened at the end in the cinema I went:

credits: "Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black"
audience: *applause, catcalls, ovation*
credits: "Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen"
audience: *applause, screams, shouts"
credits: "Kirsten Stewart as Bella Swan"
audience: ...
audience: *explodes into laughter*

It was amazing.

[litlover12]

Aro's creepy and unhinged laugh was probably THE single most creepy and unhinged laugh that anyone has ever laughed. I can't wait until the RiffTrax guys tackle that one.

[particle_person]

The GRAMPA VAMPIRE LAUGH! Yes!

[cleolinda]

God, is there a gif of this somewhere on Tumblr? WHY CAN I NOT REMEMBER WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE?