Holy rusted metal, Batman!
She persuades me to go to Walt Whitman with promises of letting me shop at Abercrombie and we'll most likely hit up Cookie Wookie as well. Kim has to bribe me into going shopping since it's honestly worse than getting teeth pulled. Trust me, I think playing with a numb lip is hilarious and definitely more enjoyable than a sales rack.
There's a gravitational pull on Kim the minute she breezes through the glass doors. I know where this pull is ending up and I begin dragging my feet. Eventually we make it there and at first she's ogling the display case outside. I start gazing down the way towards Athlete's Foot (never understood why this would be an enticing name for a store but it has my attention). I figure, ‘display case, cool, we'll be moving on soon.’ She turns to me and casually suggests us going inside to have a look around. But really there is nothing casual about the way she asks and goes right in without me answering.
I cross the threshold of Baily Banks and Biddle and audibly groan. The sign would lead you to believe it's a law firm but actually, it's a candy store for Kim. There are long display cases full of rings that Kim is already drooling on with someone rushing over to help her. I reach my sister and look down through the fingerprinted glass. Of course Kim has her eyes on the biggest engagement rings, with diamonds lining the bands. "What do you think?" she asks expectantly.
Of course we all know she's getting engaged this summer. It's been brought up in conversation every time Kim opens her mouth. I squint down at all the sparkle and glitz. I'm 19. I ski everyday and play beer pong. In the summer I surf and work for dad at the Nassau Surgery Center (wow that just made me really sad). What the hell do I know about anything serious like this? But I humor her anyway and look at all the choices. My eyes settle on the simplest most elegant ring. I fall in love with it immediately. "Ooh," I point. "I like the heart-shaped one right there."
Kim leans over my shoulder. "Heart-shaped?" Disgusted. "That's so tacky. Look at these over here." And she rattles on about cuts and clarity and I start wondering when I'm getting that cookie I was promised.
When I tell this story to Steve six years down the road, he laughs. Most people do. It's total Kim fashion to know the ins and outs of jewelry where as I know the ins and outs of cleats. Steve then talks about how one of his friends built her own ring on a website and dives into the closet to retrieve Nico. Steve and I then fight over the mouse as we create hideously large and gaudy rings and laugh at the idiots who would be suckered into paying for these things. Eventually we grow tired of this game and move onto playing Mighty Bomb Jack. Eventually a year passes and I forget that I told him the story but not that we learned some really cool cheat codes for the Nintendo game.
I have the suspicion Steve is breaking down. Both my brothers have gotten hitched and we have attended a million weddings since we started dating. Both of us entered into this relationship knowing full well marriage was not our thing and that we had agreed to be "Growing Old Partners" instead. I knew the moment I walked into Genesis that I wanted to date him. I had fallen in love with him before we even dated. I knew three weeks into dating that he was it. I told Maeve I would spend the rest of my life with him. I moved in with him pretty much after admitting that I loved him five months into the relay. I just knew.
Now I think he's going to propose. I don't know for sure but after Maeve tells me I'm coming back from our Florida trip engaged and I relay this info onto Daniella who in turn smirks and leaves the room without looking at me, I start to wonder if it’s true. Plus he's been dwelling on the fact he has to ask my parents for my hand and he's convinced they are going to say no. Each time he brings this up I remind him that it will be yearssssss before we consider getting married. We're both broke so there's no way a ring is involved. No ring. No engagement. Calm down.
Though I'm looking at his pockets today, right on the line for Space Mountain. I can't help it. I'm thinking, okay, maybe he'll do it. He'll take the plunge. He'll be one of those suckers. At times I touch his pockets and he lets me! Okay, maybe not. He's not a sucker. I then turn my attention to Christine's pockets. Maybe she has it. She's got to be in on it. The two of them had breakfast together yesterday while I was in the shower. He told her about it. She's the one with the ring.
Her pockets are empty. I'm the one carrying everything in my bag. I'm bag bitch for the entire Disney World trip. I know what's in the bag. It's not a ring.
The fireworks start and my heart races. I'm excited. Me. Miss Anti-Wedding is excited. The thought of being proposed to is making me so incredibly happy. I never thought it would be like that. It just seems like the right thing to do. Steve is behind me, hands on my shoulders, watching the fireworks above the castle. Anytime he moves a hand, my chest tightens. 'This is it!' Then it returns and nothing. The finale ends. Nothing.
I guess not. That's cool. He's not ready. We're not the marrying type. He's not leaving me anytime soon. Not moving out. Not taking me to Downtown Disney. I'm fine.
I'm not fine. The park is not closing until 1 am so half of us are leaving and the other half is staying. We have to make our way back into the park as others are trying to push past us to get to the monorail (mono-Doh!). It's a gridlock of people. A traffic jam of shoulder to shoulder people. Of sweaty smelly people. I'm freaking out. It's too hot. I hate being touched by strangers. I have to get out.
As I'm being edged into a stationary metal trash can by this taller man, I lose it. I hip check him out of my way and start maneuvering through the mass of people. The more I weasel in and out of bodies, the more I feel the panic rising in my chest. I'm going to have one. I'm going to have a fucking panic attack in the happiest Goddamn place on earth.
I break out by the Haunted Mansion with Steve and Christine close behind. Christine gets on line and Steve drags me further into the park. I start panicking more. I'm afraid to be separated from her. What if she comes to find us and gets stuck in a massive crowd? Where are we going? I wrench free from Steve and tell him I can't go on. I hunch over and start hyperventilating. He grabs my shoulders pulling me up. "You can't do this right now." He's usually considerate when I have them. Calm, soothing voice, stroking hands on my back. His tone is curt and crisp. "Stop it." I wipe away the tears threatening to fall and try to catch my breath. He pulls me in close and starts talking to me, wanting to cut off the mucus faucet that is my nose. If he can just get some words out before that starts there's a chance I won't have the panic attack.
"Remember what I first said to you online?"
I sniff. "Yes. You said I was amazing." Nose wipe.
He puts his head so close to mine but pushes my right side way from his body. My gaze is directed down to his hand. "Be amazing with me for the rest of my life."
I'm shocked. Where the hell did he hide the ring all day?!?!
Without me answering yet or me hearing the words "will you marry me?” he's already sliding on the ring. I catch his hand and make him flip the ring the other way. He laughs and asks if that's a yes.
Of course it is. I would be an idiot to not say yes. Because honestly, he is the most beautiful person in the world. The most gentle man I have ever met. A witty and charming genius. Steve is perfect.
And so is the heart-shaped diamond perched on my finger.
There's a gravitational pull on Kim the minute she breezes through the glass doors. I know where this pull is ending up and I begin dragging my feet. Eventually we make it there and at first she's ogling the display case outside. I start gazing down the way towards Athlete's Foot (never understood why this would be an enticing name for a store but it has my attention). I figure, ‘display case, cool, we'll be moving on soon.’ She turns to me and casually suggests us going inside to have a look around. But really there is nothing casual about the way she asks and goes right in without me answering.
I cross the threshold of Baily Banks and Biddle and audibly groan. The sign would lead you to believe it's a law firm but actually, it's a candy store for Kim. There are long display cases full of rings that Kim is already drooling on with someone rushing over to help her. I reach my sister and look down through the fingerprinted glass. Of course Kim has her eyes on the biggest engagement rings, with diamonds lining the bands. "What do you think?" she asks expectantly.
Of course we all know she's getting engaged this summer. It's been brought up in conversation every time Kim opens her mouth. I squint down at all the sparkle and glitz. I'm 19. I ski everyday and play beer pong. In the summer I surf and work for dad at the Nassau Surgery Center (wow that just made me really sad). What the hell do I know about anything serious like this? But I humor her anyway and look at all the choices. My eyes settle on the simplest most elegant ring. I fall in love with it immediately. "Ooh," I point. "I like the heart-shaped one right there."
Kim leans over my shoulder. "Heart-shaped?" Disgusted. "That's so tacky. Look at these over here." And she rattles on about cuts and clarity and I start wondering when I'm getting that cookie I was promised.
When I tell this story to Steve six years down the road, he laughs. Most people do. It's total Kim fashion to know the ins and outs of jewelry where as I know the ins and outs of cleats. Steve then talks about how one of his friends built her own ring on a website and dives into the closet to retrieve Nico. Steve and I then fight over the mouse as we create hideously large and gaudy rings and laugh at the idiots who would be suckered into paying for these things. Eventually we grow tired of this game and move onto playing Mighty Bomb Jack. Eventually a year passes and I forget that I told him the story but not that we learned some really cool cheat codes for the Nintendo game.
I have the suspicion Steve is breaking down. Both my brothers have gotten hitched and we have attended a million weddings since we started dating. Both of us entered into this relationship knowing full well marriage was not our thing and that we had agreed to be "Growing Old Partners" instead. I knew the moment I walked into Genesis that I wanted to date him. I had fallen in love with him before we even dated. I knew three weeks into dating that he was it. I told Maeve I would spend the rest of my life with him. I moved in with him pretty much after admitting that I loved him five months into the relay. I just knew.
Now I think he's going to propose. I don't know for sure but after Maeve tells me I'm coming back from our Florida trip engaged and I relay this info onto Daniella who in turn smirks and leaves the room without looking at me, I start to wonder if it’s true. Plus he's been dwelling on the fact he has to ask my parents for my hand and he's convinced they are going to say no. Each time he brings this up I remind him that it will be yearssssss before we consider getting married. We're both broke so there's no way a ring is involved. No ring. No engagement. Calm down.
Though I'm looking at his pockets today, right on the line for Space Mountain. I can't help it. I'm thinking, okay, maybe he'll do it. He'll take the plunge. He'll be one of those suckers. At times I touch his pockets and he lets me! Okay, maybe not. He's not a sucker. I then turn my attention to Christine's pockets. Maybe she has it. She's got to be in on it. The two of them had breakfast together yesterday while I was in the shower. He told her about it. She's the one with the ring.
Her pockets are empty. I'm the one carrying everything in my bag. I'm bag bitch for the entire Disney World trip. I know what's in the bag. It's not a ring.
The fireworks start and my heart races. I'm excited. Me. Miss Anti-Wedding is excited. The thought of being proposed to is making me so incredibly happy. I never thought it would be like that. It just seems like the right thing to do. Steve is behind me, hands on my shoulders, watching the fireworks above the castle. Anytime he moves a hand, my chest tightens. 'This is it!' Then it returns and nothing. The finale ends. Nothing.
I guess not. That's cool. He's not ready. We're not the marrying type. He's not leaving me anytime soon. Not moving out. Not taking me to Downtown Disney. I'm fine.
I'm not fine. The park is not closing until 1 am so half of us are leaving and the other half is staying. We have to make our way back into the park as others are trying to push past us to get to the monorail (mono-Doh!). It's a gridlock of people. A traffic jam of shoulder to shoulder people. Of sweaty smelly people. I'm freaking out. It's too hot. I hate being touched by strangers. I have to get out.
As I'm being edged into a stationary metal trash can by this taller man, I lose it. I hip check him out of my way and start maneuvering through the mass of people. The more I weasel in and out of bodies, the more I feel the panic rising in my chest. I'm going to have one. I'm going to have a fucking panic attack in the happiest Goddamn place on earth.
I break out by the Haunted Mansion with Steve and Christine close behind. Christine gets on line and Steve drags me further into the park. I start panicking more. I'm afraid to be separated from her. What if she comes to find us and gets stuck in a massive crowd? Where are we going? I wrench free from Steve and tell him I can't go on. I hunch over and start hyperventilating. He grabs my shoulders pulling me up. "You can't do this right now." He's usually considerate when I have them. Calm, soothing voice, stroking hands on my back. His tone is curt and crisp. "Stop it." I wipe away the tears threatening to fall and try to catch my breath. He pulls me in close and starts talking to me, wanting to cut off the mucus faucet that is my nose. If he can just get some words out before that starts there's a chance I won't have the panic attack.
"Remember what I first said to you online?"
I sniff. "Yes. You said I was amazing." Nose wipe.
He puts his head so close to mine but pushes my right side way from his body. My gaze is directed down to his hand. "Be amazing with me for the rest of my life."
I'm shocked. Where the hell did he hide the ring all day?!?!
Without me answering yet or me hearing the words "will you marry me?” he's already sliding on the ring. I catch his hand and make him flip the ring the other way. He laughs and asks if that's a yes.
Of course it is. I would be an idiot to not say yes. Because honestly, he is the most beautiful person in the world. The most gentle man I have ever met. A witty and charming genius. Steve is perfect.
And so is the heart-shaped diamond perched on my finger.