A Surprise, part 6

Jan 28, 2010 06:38

Happy Birthday, my lovely lilybaggins!!!!

If I have one wish this year, it's that you will be able to take more time for yourself and get to indulge in all the Frodo and Aragornness that you like! (And my selfish wish is that we'll email more since I've been sucky at that lately! :-p)
I bring you a part of the mpreg fic I was writing for you, although sadly, this section doesn't even have any mpreg in it. :-p But it's one step closer to the section that WILL have mpreg in it!

Title: A Surprise part 6
Rating: Adult
Pairing: Frodo/Halbarad
Summary: Frodo and Halbarad living randomly together in Bree. TOTALLY AU. Obviously. And then something VERY unexpected happens. Based on the TLC show “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.” :D
A/N: This chapter has not one bit of mpreg in it, alas. I'm so sorry, Lily, since this was for your birthday, but this week is crazy. This just is the non-mpreg part that comes before the next part which WILL be mpreg!
Warning: (?) A wee bit of violence

Part 1-mpreg
Part 2
Part 3-mpreg
Part 4
Part 5-mpreg



“Don’t be absurd!” But Frodo flushed more.

Merry shook Frodo’s shoulders. “Look at me. I know you. I know where your tastes run.”

“All right,” Frodo laughed. “You’re right. He’s a cad, but I should very much like to bed him.”

“Then why don’t you and get it out of your system so you don’t put our whole shop in danger?”

Frodo flushed. “Please. What sort of life could I have with one such as he? He‘d never like me, much less love me, and I can‘t say I‘m feeling terribly fond of him either.”

Merry grabbed Frodo’s arm and pushed him down on the chair, sitting across from him. “The art of seduction, you silly. You don’t need to love him or even like him. That man’s got a harsh life in the wild. These few days in Bree is lovely to him, but I bet none of the Breeland lasses will put out for the likes of him. Along comes a comely hobbit lad with spirit. See, there’s no love involved, just enjoying one another in bed. One night.”

“I’ve never been with anyone, Merry. Never.” He had thought he would be miserable if his friends ever found that out.

But Merry didn‘t laugh. Instead he said, “I imagine he would find that even more appealing.”

“Merry!” Frodo said. Then he paused a moment, trying to catch his breath, before continuing, “Well, let us pretend for a moment that I listen to you. Keeping in mind that listening to Pippin at Yule was not such a great idea.”

“But I am far older and wiser than Pippin,” Merry said. “And I have been with plenty of lasses.” He nodded. “And it’s not just my handsome looks that got them into bed with me.”

“I didn’t need to know so much,” Frodo said, scandalized.

“So it doesn’t matter if you’re not so much to look at or not, but I can tell you that if Halbarad in any way, shape, or form goes both ways in his liking of lads and lasses, that you will have no trouble pleasing his senses.”

“So…what do you do?” Frodo asked.

“Well, it’s a delicate process. The first thing you must do is start letting the boundaries between you slip away. Go to the Pony for lunch today because he and his friend will surely be there, no doubt discussing how to bring my little store down because they have nothing else to do with their time. Anyway, we’ll go there together. When he looks over at you, and he will, hold his gaze until he drops his eyes.”

“He’ll likely call me out for that,” Frodo said, laughing.

“Huh, that’s not what Pippin said about your little performance at the Yule party, how you dared him to stab you.” Merry laughed.

Frodo blushed again. “He was being a cad and I think he knew it. He wasn’t going to slay someone unarmed who was no real threat.” He shrugged. “Then again, hobbits with rocks are pretty threatening, even to the likes of him.”

“You’re such a scamp, cousin,” Merry said. “Because I bet that got you all hot under the collar. Anyway, you’re going to hold his gaze until he looks away. You can do this once or as many times as you feel comfortable. Then you’re going to go over to them.”

“Merry,” Frodo said. “I can’t.”

“You’ll say something sassy but smile while saying it. Touch his hand accidentally-on purpose. Let your touch linger a little too long.”

“Oh,” Frodo said, shivering at the idea of touching Halbarad’s hand. His hand was large, no doubt callused, and strong. Dreadfully big and strong.

“Don’t worry about anything else this round.”

“This round?”

“It depends on how thick-headed he is. Perhaps he’ll whisk you away this afternoon. Or not.”

“Why do I feel like I’m poking a mother bear?”

“If all goes well, it will be him poking you.”

Things might have worked as planned for Merry whenever he seduced his lasses, but they certainly did not work out as planned for Frodo. They entered the Pony and took a seat. The Rangers were not there.

“First strike not in my favor,” Frodo said, laughing. “Oh, well. At least we’ll enjoy a tasty meal. I weary of my own cooking sometimes.”

“You mean you weary of cooking,” Merry said.

But within an hour, Merry’s prediction had come true. The Rangers did indeed come to the Pony. They sat at their usual back corner table. They stared at the hobbits, and Frodo pretended at first not to see them.

Merry kicked him under the table. “Look at him now,” he hissed.

Frodo peered past Merry’s shoulder toward the Rangers. He was caught in Halbarad’s stern gaze. He forced himself to keep staring, and it seemed like forever and then some, but Halbarad finally looked away, muttering to Strider.

“I did it,” Frodo whispered, blushing hot. He and Merry laughed.

“You’re not so hopeless after all, dearest.”

Then Bill Ferny and his gang of ne’er-do-wells came in. Frodo had had a few unpleasant encounters with them but never anything that he felt worried about.

“How’re the fancy hobbits?” Bill asked, rapping his knuckles on Frodo’s table. Frodo sighed in disgust and looked away. He didn’t think that Bill had seen the Rangers or he doubted they would dare their bullying tactics.

“Better than expected,” Merry said, “considering you’re here.”

“Is that it?” Bill said, and smacked Merry pretty hard on the side of his head, not enough to hurt him but harder than an affectionate cuff between friends. “Smart mouth, are you?”

“Ow,” Merry said, clutching his ear. “Just leave us be.”

One of Bill’s friends grabbed Frodo by the upper arm and yanked him up to his feet. “This one’s the pretty one, though. Ever seen eyes like that?” He looked down at Frodo’s face with a sneer. “We should take him with us for tonight. Each of us could have a turn.”

Frodo felt physically ill. "Leave us be."

“I don’t do hobbits,” Bill said. He spit on the table. “Disgusting little rats, they are.”

Frodo tried the same thing he had done with Halbarad, elbowed him hard in the gut, but this time there were no stones on the ground and he was answered with a vicious kick in his side, that left him breathless and in terrible pain. From a distance he could hear Merry calling his name, the shouts of men, a scuffle, and then silence.

Frodo struggled to a sitting position. His head had banged into the side of the wall, giving him a bloody nose. He held his nose, struggling for breath. It hurt terribly to breathe.

“Your man,” Merry whispered in his ear, “just chased them out. I reckon Bill Ferny won’t be bothering us again ever.” His tone was light, but his eyes looked concerned. “Frodo, are you hurt bad? I can‘t believe how hard he kicked you.”

“I can’t breathe, it hurts,” Frodo said. “I think I might have broken a rib.”

“Let me see,” Merry said.

“No, no, I can’t move,” Frodo said. It hurt to even talk. He couldn’t imagine being able to climb to his feet even much less walk anywhere. So he leaned against the wall.

A shadow fell over them, and then Strider the Ranger was kneeling in front of Frodo. “Where did he get you?” he asked brusquely.

“Mostly just here,” Frodo said. “In my side.”

“He thinks he might have broken something,” Merry said.

“Let me have a look,” Strider said.

“Where’s your friend?” Merry asked.

“Chasing the filth away,” Strider said.

“I thought he despised me,” Frodo said before thinking. He was horrified that he had said that aloud in front of Halbarad’s friend. He must have shown his horror clearly in his eyes because Strider laughed a bit.

“Come now,” he said in a more serious tone. “I’m going to need to take off your shirt.”

“No, you’ll do no such thing,” Frodo said. “I’ll be all right. Come, Merry, help me to my feet. We’ll just go home and I’ll just rest for awhile.”

In no way was he going to allow the Ranger to strip him down, especially when Halbarad could be back any moment. This so-called seduction had turned into an utter mess. He was going to have some harsh words for Merry when they returned to their cottage.

He tried to get up and the pain was bad. He collapsed back against the wall, gritting his teeth.

“Just relax,” Strider said. He unbuttoned Frodo’s vest and gently peeled it off. Then he worked down Frodo’s shirt buttons. Frodo looked worriedly toward the door. Halbarad was going to come back any moment.

“Fear not,” Strider said with an ironic smile and Frodo wondered if the Ranger guessed his thoughts.

He did not fully remove the shirt, but his smile faded as he examined the injury to Frodo’s side. “He got you good. I hope Halbarad took care of it.” His voice was tight with anger. Frodo took a moment to look at his reddened, swelling area around his side that was likely to turn to colorful bruising within a few hours. “Does this hurt?” He touched in various places on Frodo’s side. A few times Frodo yelped and grabbed Strider’s shoulder, the pain was so sharp.

Halbarad came back, and Frodo blushed deep red. He could not bear to meet Halbarad’s eyes. Merry took his hand and squeezed.

Frodo could hear what the Rangers were saying to each other under their breaths.

“The hobbit has a broken rib…nothing too serious, but he needs to be treated…take him upstairs…”

“I made sure Bill would be spending a long time in the healing cottage,” Halbarad said. “He’ll not be so quick to bully for awhile. One of his companions gave me the slip, but the one who kicked the hobbit is slain.”

“Good riddance.”

Strider knelt down and spoke to Frodo. “I am going to lift you and keep you as steady as possible. I’m going to take you up to my room so I can bind your ribs. Ready?”

Frodo nodded. There was no use in protesting. He still could not look at Halbarad.

Strider lifted Frodo, and the pain was excruciating. He did not cry out, but he hissed through gritted teeth and clutched Strider around the neck until his knuckles paled. He did glance at Halbarad then, but Halbarad’s attention was elsewhere.

Once they arrived in Strider’s room, Strider put Frodo on his bed, mostly sitting up with pillows piled behind his back against the headboard. Frodo noted that there was stuff cast around willy-nilly, and he realized that Halbarad was staying here, too. The room smelled of sweat and wet leather and pipe-weed. Halbarad stood nearby, looking at him with an unreadable expression.

“I shall be back in a moment,” Strider said. To Frodo he said, “Try to cough a few times. It’s going to hurt, but it may prevent serious illness from setting in later.” He then left.

Frodo coughed and nearly doubled over with the pain. He looked up to find Halbarad still watching him.

“It didn’t hurt that much,” Frodo said to him. “Really.”

“You’re braver than I then,” Halbarad said. “I’ve had broken ribs before and they kept me down for a good while.”

“Oh, come now, you face worse on a daily basis.”

“Why didn’t you fling rocks at those men?” Halbarad asked.

“Alas, Butterbur doesn’t keep a supply on his floor.”

Halbarad sat on the edge of the bed. He touched Frodo’s cheek, examining his face. “Did he clock you in the face, too?”

“Oh, no,” Frodo said, flushing under Halbarad’s touch. “But I was pushed very hard into the wall.”

“You seem to enjoy picking fights with those much bigger.”

Frodo laughed, but it hurt and he winced and clutched at his side.

“Easy now,” Halbarad said. He took both of Frodo’s shoulders in hand and then quite suddenly, he bent down and kissed Frodo on the lips. Frodo’s heart sped, and he could not believe that was happening. He responded enthusiastically, and then Halbarad pulled away. He looked at Halbarad in shock.

“Why…?” He looked down at his hands. The pain was still there, but it had taken a background to the pounding in his ears.

“I have a confession to make, Frodo Baggins. When I was in your friend’s store that day, I hung around outside and listened. I suppose I wanted to see if indeed you two were carrying on an underground pipe-weed business. Stay, don’t scowl at me just yet. Instead I heard some very interesting information about what you wanted to do with me.”

Frodo’s blood froze inside him. Dear heavens, the man had overheard his conversation about seducing Halbarad! He was so mortified he had no idea what to say or do. “Just leave,” he finally said. Surely Halbarad was playing with him now, taking advantage of his weakness and injury to play a cruel jest on him.

“No, I wanted to tell you that I like your plan,” Halbarad said. “But we shall have to put it off until you are mended of course.”

“I cannot believe you eavesdropped on us,” Frodo said. “Just go then!” He gestured toward the door.

“Please don’t be upset,” Halbarad said. “You’ve hardly left my thoughts since the Yule ball.”

“When you nearly sliced my throat, that is,” Frodo said.

Halbarad shrugged. “You are a bit of a spoiled hobbit. I thought you could use a good scare.”

“Will you please leave me?” Frodo said. He was so mortified, all over. Just the thought that he had kissed Frodo because he had overheard that humiliating conversation…

Strider returned just then, followed by Merry. Halbarad bowed slightly and made his exit.

Go on to the next part

TBC

a surprise

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