The Mutants
Previous: The Sea Devils
The Mutants
First guy we see appears to have escaped from a medieval dungeon and is...growing stegosaurus spines out of his back.
Going out on a limb here, but I'm juuuuust going to assume that maybe perhaps he's one of the titular Mutants. Probably. #ofcourseheis
Old Guy now being chased by Screaming Pudgy Guy.
Sorry Jo, looks like lunch'll have to wait, if that rocky egg thing that just randomly materialized on Three's workbench is any indication.
Also, I would recommend not suggesting that you eat it.
I ADORE how Jo's reaction to Three telling her to stay put is to tighten her jacket, yell "oh no you don't!" and rush into the TARDIS.
Speaking of Jo's jacket, I'm already digging her outfit in this story. Even the heeled boots look pretty boss.
Considering her "there's only one little planet I want to see" speech later, I'm a bit surprised at Jo's enthusiasm for being in space here.
Okay, so now I have to wonder if that K-9 font was the only font allowed in old TV sci-fi. Because it shows up here a LOT.
Unless these are two different races, I'm not sure why half these people look like Roman centurions and the other half are Made of Space.
Also, this is the second time in a row that I've used the centurion comparison, but I think it applies much better here than in Peladon.
Well, they keep talking about "my people," so I guess we are dealing with multiple races here.
And I'm glad to say that also means we have the pleasure of a not-completely-white cast for once!
I begin to sense that this story is going to have anti-colonialism overtones. And the Made of Space people are called the Overlords.
Aw, Three's trying to make a profound point about the nature of civilization but he's like "Jo stop laughing let me explain to you a thing."
So...I was about to say the alarm system sounded almost musical...but then I realized that was the actual soundtrack.
Welp, our heroes have been caught by the Overlords and Three has his best "well, shit" face on.
"Doctor, you can see the planet in daylight now."
"So you can."
...Actually, that looks like exactly the same footage clip you used earlier.
Wait a sec...that's supposed to be Earth? Also JO YOUR SUNGLASSES.
Or maybe the planet below is Solos. I'm...really not sure.
And after a good long history lesson from the InfoText, it seems I was right about the colonialism allegory in this story...
...since Apartheid was still a major issue when this story came out. #themoreyouknow
So it would appear that the big guy with the 58 on his chest is our Douchebag de Jour.
Shooting the egg doesn't open it, but it does make it glow pretty colors. Also, I think it's the one providing the soundtrack.
Anyone else find it odd that there's a perfectly sized platform just standing there for the Marshal to mount and shoot the egg, though?
Oh lord, I REALLY hope the whole rest of this story isn't a prolonged game of Hot Potato with that egg until it opens.
In The Future, we won't be watching TV on Super Ultra 3D HD screens, but through large fairground crystal balls.
Aw, Three, did you really have to sleeper-hold that guy? He seemed nice. Oh well, an escape opportunity is an escape opportunity.
Sounds like they've moved on to the BY THE WAY DID WE MENTION THIS STORY HAS A MESSAGE ABOUT A TOPICAL ISSUE part of the serial.
Now I'm confused. Why are the Solonians chanting "FREEDOM" angrily when the Overlords have just said they're giving them their independence?
Oh good, the Hot Potato game seems to be ending here, now that Ky's touch has made it open.
The Administrator is played by Geoffrey Palmer! I KNEW that face looked absurdly familiar!
Oh wow, you weren't kidding about the Rick James thing. Although that wasn't THE Rick James.
Jo, didn't he JUST say that the atmosphere outside was toxic and that you wouldn't last outside without a mask?
Guards' abilities to fire from the ground after being strangled never fails to baffle me ever so slightly.
Good ol' Three. He's not even threatening out loud to punch the Marshall in the face but his face and tone suggest that he'd really like to.
Time for Carrying Jo Grant Through a Toxic Bog.
"I was rather hoping for a particle reversal set-up..." ...you know what, I don't even need to say it.
The Overlords have a weather control station? I have two theories, and one involves them being douchebags on an even more epic scale.
Hello, Random German! And his name is Jaeger. Funny this should come up the day after I almost saw Pacific Rim.
Again, not sure if I'm hearing the sound effects or the soundtrack.
The leader's son is in league with the Marshal to assassinate the Administrator... Welp, this is what I get for taking such long breaks.
Aaaaand that was one of the most clumsy excuses for a fight scene I've seen in a while.
Ky just told Jo that he nearly left her to die...not sure whether to take that as a warning or expectation of gratitude.
"The caverns! Where you live on Earth!"
"I live in London!"
Well Jo, you could tell him about the Tube.
Wow. I've seen the Doctor use guns before, but this is the first time I've seen him actually fire a warning shot at one of the good guys.
Does it make anyone else REALLY uncomfortable that the one black guy in the cast is called Cotton?
(The moment I learned that Britain sided with the Confederacy during the Civil War because of the cotton industry was a very dark moment.)
How have I gone this far without appreciating Three's scarf in this story?
Oh wow. The design crew for this story apparently had the foresight to include proto-touchscreens. Unless those were already a thing...
Jaeger, I know your name means "hunter," but that still doesn't mean you should attempt justifying genocide in front of Three.
Whew. Good to know that Three won't be operating under a lie told to him by the Marshal for the rest of the story.
On that note, thank you Cotton for being a cool dude and telling him the truth.
So it would seem that the next step is: blow shit up and hope for the best.
Stubbs, you'll forgive me for saying so, but I sense that asking Varan to "just trust you" at this point is quite a lot to ask of him.
Props to Jaeger's actor for getting his face right up in a prop that was about to explode.
I can tell the studio set is still partially lit, but I'm surprised this station doesn't have emergency lights flashing right now.
Varan jumps out and puts Three in a stranglehold, who reacts with perfect a "come on, really? We're doing this again?" face.
The Third Doctor: if he can't convince you with words, he can convince you with two fingers strategically placed at your throat.
"You have no mask. When the sun rises, you will not be able to breathe the air on Solos. No Earth man can!"
"Did I say I was an Earth man?"
Looks like there aren't so much "firestorms" as "fireworks." A bit too colorful.
We finally have our first good look at one of the titular Mutants. Honestly, I can't say these are some of the worse costumes on the show.
That was nice. I off-handedly turned on the InfoText to see if this was location shooting, and the first note to come up was the location.
Hey Ky, remember how just a minute ago you said they were "harmless?" The running away and waving fire around doesn't seem to support that.
Wait, why is Varan talking in third person all of a sudden?
Seems like the mutants are listening to Three but not to Ky. And Jo, if you'd just stayed there a few seconds longer, he might've found you.
Woooaaaaaah are we in the trippy disco cave now?
Oh wait, never mind, this is the Really Shitty CSO Cave.
Although that is most certainly a Disco Hazmat Suit.
Finally the egg reaches its owner. Although I don't think Three needed to dramatically pause THAT long before saying "and to give you this."
Swiggity swegg, what's in the egg? #idontevenknowwhatthatmemeisfrom
Tablets! And one of the symbols on them answers my "what's that shape on the wall over there" question.
"Well what does it say? Read it!"
"I cannot! It is the language of the Old Ones. No one remembers."
WELL. THAT'S. JUST. FANTASTIC.
So Ky JUST HAPPENS to now remember one person who might remember the old language. Chekhov's linguist?
And now: Global Warning with Professor Jaeger.
Oh wow, I think that's the first time we've seen blue sky this whole serial.
Suddenly, from location to studio footage in the same scene.
There you are, Jo! So I wonder when we're going to find out who Disco Hazmat Suit Guy was.
That's an awful lot of smoke...also, ACTING.
Wait hold on is someone talking to Varan telepathically or is he just tripping out.
"Gas. It's the Marshal's solution to what he called the Mutt Problem." OH HI HITLER ALLEGORY.
Disco Hazmat Suit Guy to the rescue!
Cotton keeps calling Stubbs "Stubbsy." Aww. #bros
Oh, come on Three, don't you know it's not polite to scratch at your host's door like that?
And Disco Hazmat Suit Guy removes his helmet to reveal: dude who was mentioned in passing earlier as the one guy who knew the old language.
Another German, too! Hello, Dr. Sondergaard. (or, wait, is that a Scandinavian name?)
"Marshal, this is not a war! This is a scientific application of ballistics!" #yousureaboutthat
I love how when Ky leans over to look at the tablets, he hugs and strokes the egg for no real reason. #myprecious
("Notice the picture distortion in these shots?") Yes, actually, I did. Why exactly are they necessary in an otherwise normal scene?
Apparently it's to "sell the idea that the mountain is becoming unstable." Um...no.
I think it was the combination of the shadows and red and white light, but for some reason I REALLY liked that last shot of Jo.
Wow, Three, that's easily the biggest ring I've ever seen someone wear on their pinky.
Guys, please stop that distortion thing, especially if you're only using it for one angle on one set.
Wow, I paused on a good face.
Walk into radiation like what up I'm not a human. (This seems to be a bit of a motif in this story.)
Woah. Seems like Cotton's a bit of an acrobat.
And now we return to Varan and his army of Centurion Viking Samurai.
Okay really, is the CSO really necessary for this scene? Couldn't they just make the walls sparkly?
"It's magnificent. It's like a cathedral!" A Sparkly Radioactive Disco Cathedral.
"You go! Leave me!" This should not be as hilarious as it is.
oh my god the music is not helping
We seem to be heading rapidly towards a preemptive '70s sci-fi homage to Indiana Jones, if the jewel-taking and rumbling is any indication.
Guess not, no giant boulder. But he does sling Sondergaard over his shoulder and carry him out like a hunk of fresh game.
Earth inspector is paying a surprise visit and the Marshal is not happy. Slimeballs reacting to incoming comeuppances is always fun.
"Yes of course. The Solonians are *meant* to mutate! The mutation is part of it, part of their evolution." Wow. Can't say I expected that.
With Sondergaard's native get-up, I honestly keep forgetting he's not actually a Solonian himself.
Oh wow. I have to admit, with the countdown and the increasing tempo of the music, this scene is getting impressively tense.
Although that shootout scene was super weak and Varan are you even trying.
And now part of the super-thin hull of the ship is gone and he's floating out into CSO space and WOW THIS SCENE IS SO BEAUTIFULLY BAD.
I'm still eagerly waiting for the Marshal to lose his grip though. (Seriously that is the thinnest goddamn spaceship hull I have EVER seen.)
Oh my god, these poor actors are trying so hard to make the vacuum of space effect look realistic...
Well, it looks like Three and Sondergaard made it out oka*BANG* ...welp I spoke too soon.
The Marshal isn't so much hanging on for dear life as he is slowly humping the wall. (Okay I promise I'll stop taking cracks at this scene.)
wait how did the marshal get out he was just about to die a second ago
Oh hey, firing squad. Usually we don't see you around unless it's a cliffhanger.
Ah, thank you for that perfectly-timed entrance, Jaeger. Ready to punch some Kaijus? (Yup, finally saw Pacific Rim.)
"As for this display of megalomania, how do you hope to conceal it from the investigator?" Jaeger has the sassiest goddamn pose right now.
I love how even though Jo, Ky, Stubbs, and Cotton are all tied up, they have complete confidence in their ability to call the Marshal out.
Oh wow, they have him cornered at every turn. Are you sure we still have a whole episode and a half left to go?
So I'd been wondering for a while who Ky reminded me of, and I just remembered: he looks a lot like Varsh as an adult (if he'd grown up).
Jaeger whose side are you even on anymore make up your miiiiiind...
*runs into guard* *performs time-fu* "Goodbye!" *runs*
Anyone else find it a little silly that the transporter devices are basically revolving doors? Like...the entire thing is a revolving door?
I really don't know how the guards missed Three just now, considering he's literally black-on-white in this environment.
I think Three just officially ran out of fucks to give. He finds Jo, gets caught, loses the sonic, and he just goes "well what do you want?"
His face says it all, too. I'm surprised he didn't heave a big sigh as well.
"Marshal...you are quite mad." HE LITERALLY DIDN'T EVEN BLINK OH MY GOD
And then we cut to hello Flying Space Toothbrush.
Ah, that's right, this is a great time for Jo's escapology skills to come in handy. The guard's getting sleepy and everything.
BAM. (Seriously, if you don't like Jo Grant, I don't like you.)
And just after they finally get through to the main ship and tell them what's happening, poor Stubbs gets shot in the butt.
wait how did stubbs even die from an ass-shot (also, can we appreciate that pan across Cotton's rage-face?)
And can the guards REALLY not hear the loud gunfire coming from the corridors just outside?
Welp, that escape plan didn't work.
So according to Three, if something went wrong at this point, "we'd all become un-people, un-doing un-things un-together! Fascinating."
Aww, Sondergaard's mutant babbies are all gathering around to protect Daddy from the mean old Overlord guards. I hope.
Well apparently they can talk now. Okay.
The investigator shuttle is about to dock, Jo looks happier than ever, but there's still one more episode so one more thing has to go wrong.
One More Thing That Goes Wrong: Jo, Ky, and Cotton are in a chamber that's about to be flooded with radiation.
"You are a doctor, I take it?"
"I am, yes."
"Qualified in...?"
"Practically everything."
And now we return to your Phallic Imagery of the Evening.
You'll forgive me for not quite understanding how climbing into the refueling tube is going to save them from the radiation.
Oh hey, more oddly-placed CSO.
Huh. That escape plan worked surprisingly well.
JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED. And Sondergaard, I'm not sure bringing the mutants onboard Skybase is such a good idea.
Three finally got the Marshal to crack in front of the investigator. #disgonbgud
Apparently the mutants are intelligent enough to operate the teleporter. Somehow I don't see this ending well...
Yikes, that ended even worse than I was expecting it to.
RAAAAINBOOOOOWS
I rather hope Ky lives through the end of the story. He's been through enough at this point.
OKAY HE DIDN'T JUST MUTATE HE ASCENDED TO ANGELIC HOMOSEXUAL.
I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING HE IS LITERALLY GLOWING WITH RAINBOWS RIGHT NOW.
Fly away, magical rainbow man. Fly away and be free.
AND NOW HE'S JUST GLIDING DOWN THE HALLWAYS AND CAUSING ALL TO FALL BACK IN AWE OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST ENDING
AND ALL HE HAD TO DO TO KILL THE MARSHAL WAS RAISE HIS HANDS SLIGHTLY AND VAPORIZE WITH A RAINBOW BEAM
Yay, Cotton survived the whole story and gets a promotion at the end! Good show, ol' chap.
"Doctor...who, did you say?" #yousaidthething
"Back to the broom cupboard." See you next time in Atlantis, guys!
Next: The Time Monster