The Curse of Peladon
Previous: Day of the Daleks
The Curse of Peladon
So we open on...a Transylvanian castle on a mountainside with Roman guards. Interesting choice.
Our two black-and-purple-robed fellows look like they could be twins...except one's about a full foot taller than the other.
Ah, so they *are* brothers! And their leader (their king?) bears a striking resemblance to Hugh Laurie's vengeful German from Blackadder II.
Okay, let's see if I can keep this straight: Torbis is the shorter one and Hepesh is the taller one. AND THE KING IS DAVID TROUGHTON.
...oh. Maybe I don't need to keep track of who's who because I think Torbis just got axed by our Fursuit Monster of the Week.
TARDIS! And the landing sound keeps looping...
"This is the TARDIS' first test flight since I got it working again." ...I don't remember anything about that from last time...
"You said we'd only be a few minutes, right?" Oh. Oh Jo Grant you precious innocent fluffy bunny. No. No, this is going to take 4 episodes.
Jo does look adorable in this episode, though. Although it looks like she really overdid the eyeshadow.
"Perfect landing." If "perfect landing" means "teetering precariously on the edge of a cliff," yes, that is a perfect landing.
Well, now we know how the TARDIS is made inaccessible for the rest of the story. Poor girl, though. That model took quite a tumble.
hoLY CHRISTMONKEYS ALPHA CENTAURI
I mean it was already great that he's a giant green penis in a cape but then he stARTED TALKING AND
SERIOUSLY I HOPE THAT SQUEAK I JUST MADE DIDN'T WAKE UP MY PARENTS
It it going to be physically impossible for me to take any scenes with this character seriously. And I'm okay with that.
"This is not a matter to trouble the delegates!" Sure our chancellor was just slain by a mythical monster but DON'T WORRY WE GOT THIS.
Can we please take a moment to give Jo Grant All of the Awards for mountain climbing in heals and a dress with no safety harness.
Although I would give the production team Fewer Awards for not dubbing her lines in very well in this scene.
I should probably mention here that this is my first time watching a Pertwee story after listening to Lis Sladen's autobiography.
She included an anecdote from the first time she met Pertwee after being cast as Sarah Jane, and it was rather heart-stabby.
Lis had been warned beforehand that Jon was still sad about Katy leaving, but Lis was naturally determined to make her own impression.
So he calls her over at a cast-and-crew pub meet, they get properly introduced...and he says "What would you like to drink, Katy?"
And then he stopped and realized what he'd said and just burst into tears. So seeing him and Jo together might make me sad now.
Anyway, sorry for the detour. Back to Peladon...
Jo Grant found Tunnel (x1)!
That's...an interesting design for the delegate from Arcturus. He has a dome over his head like one of those fountain-drink-mixers.
You know, the ones where it's in a plastic box and there's a jet of drink spraying onto the ceiling and down the sides? Yeah, like that.
Except instead of lemonade, it's green slime. Sooooo...
ALSO BASED ON THEIR SHAPE AND FIREPOWER THEY MAY VERY WELL BE RELATED TO DALEKS. SO THERE'S THAT.
Jade statue of a man-pig? Jade statue of a man-pig.
It might help if every scene with King Peladon didn't make me go "OH NO HE'S HOT" every few seconds. It's a tad frustrating.
Interesting. Apparently Peladon's father was a pure-blooded king, but his mother was from Earth. I wonder how far in the future this is?
I think it was Nash's video about The Happiness Patrol that talked about this story being an allegory for the UK joining the EU...
...and yeah, it's...it's really showing now.
Hmm. I wonder if this cave set was reused from The Silurians. It looks really familiar.
Also, I'll bet that Three and Jo are going to show up at the palace and get blamed for Torbis' death. Because that usually happens.
"Eeny meeny miney mo..."
*RAAAWWWRR*
"...Miney?"
*nod*
"Oh no, it's blocked up." Rather casual reaction when you can still hear that monster roaring, Jo.
ICE WARRIOR! I forgot they were in this story!
I kinda want to give Alpha Centauri a pat on the head and a biscuit. Seriously, he has the cutest, most delightfully out-of-place voice.
"For that day, a stranger will appear in the land, bringing peril to Peladon and great tribulation to its king."
*Three and Jo enter*
GEE WHO COULD'VE POSSIBLY SEEN THIS COMING
Oh wait, never mind. The Ice Warriors think they're the delegates from Earth.
So to make things weirder, I just realized that Alpha Centauri's cape kinda looks like a broken condom. #costumingjustcantwin
So apparently only "men of rank" and "females of royal blood" are allowed in the throne room. Pretty Princess Jo!
Woah. Never mind. QUEEN Jo. She just seized the moment by the balls.
"May I present Her Royal Highness, Princess Josephine." No...Three, we just established, Jo is QUEEN. #allhailqueenjo
Queen Jo OF TARDIS.
"The whole affair was most deplorable. The pilot was exceedingly inefficient." And there goes Three with his gurl-what-you-say face.
Poor King Peladon, he just wants people to stop reminding him that his friend just got murdered.
They keep calling Three "Chairman Delegate" but it always sounds like "German Delegate."
Jo, are you having an oh-no-he's-hot moment too? Because King Peladon says he wants to speak to you again "less formally."
Uh oh, down comes a sabotaged statue! Rather silently, too. I'm pretty sure stone creaks and cracks when it falls over.
We now return to I Still Can't Get Over Alpha Centauri's Voice Oh My God
"We come to help your people! To raise them from barbarism!" ...Wait, so is this less about the EU and more about White Savior Complex?
"Maybe they don't want to be raised!" Maybe I was right. Well then.
You can tell it's the 70s because even alien kings are wearing miniskirts. #kingpeladon #wecanseeyourthighs
Aaaaand no one saw Queen Jo sneaking off? No one? ...Okay.
Also, is it just me, or did they later recycle Hepesh's robes into Romana's dress from Androids of Tara?
3...2...1...CUE FLIRTING!
"I was brought up by wise old men. I hardly ever see anyone young...and...beautiful..." #nowkiss
Um...okay that just got Oedipal really fast. Peladon says he and Jo "share a bond" because...his mother was an Earth woman. Ummmm.
Speaking of which, why does that one guard kinda look like Benton as a half-naked Centurion?
"Well YOU managed to slip away without anybody noticing, remember?" Huh. I wasn't expecting them to actually bring that up.
Wow. I think this is the first time they've addressed the issue of aliens outside the gender binary on this show.
Jo Grant is such a cutie-patootie I can't
seriously I can feel the adorable radiating off the screen
Can we talk about the lighting in this scene with Three confronting the Ice Warriors? Because his face is mostly in shadow and it's spooky.
Also, that was the first time I was ever able to catch a glimpse of the actor's eyes through the red lenses. Pretty tough, though.
I can tell these are friendlier Ice Warriors because they haven't shot anyone yet, even when they find Jo rummaging through their stuff.
So Earth is being treated as an unwanted meddling agent. Which makes me wonder if it's the America analog of this piece.
For anyone doubting that Jo Grant is a badass, I humbly direct you to this scene. #escapingthroughawindow #inheelsandadress
The InfoText talks about the folks in Children's Programming at the BBC finding this serial "a little horrific, with a nightmarish quality."
And this happens RIGHT when we get easily the scariest image in the story so far. So...a "little" horrific feels a bit of an understatement.
It also talks about how this story had some of the highest viewing numbers since Galaxy 4, which makes me wonder...Galaxy 4? Really?
"But the Doctor did say you're a race of warriors!"
"We were, once. But now we reject violence!"
I have to admit, the idea of Ice Warriors "rejecting violence" feels like a pretty strong contradiction in terms.
Yikes. I don't remember the last time I saw someone flip out this hard over someone touching their statue.
And of COURSE the next scene is basically "you touched the thing. THE ONLY PUNISHMENT IS DEATH."
Sounds like Hepesh is barely beating around the bush anymore. He just wants Three dead by this point.
And now it's time for Convenient Loopholes! Good thing Trial By Combat sounds right up Three's alley.
So he'll have to fight Half-Naked Roman Benton (turns out his name is Grun) which is a tad problematic considering he's...well...a good guy.
King Peladon finally asked Jo outright to marry him. Well that only took forever.
It's also worth mentioning that she doesn't seem to be taking this very well.
Cut to Three lying sprawled out on a bed with his velvet jacket lying open. #ohnoheshot
"I don't want your death! Trust me!"
*dramatic music cue*
*suspicious look*
Hepesh, are you even trying?
Oh. Hepesh just outlined a map of the secret tunnels for Three and basically said "here's your way out, bro." Okay then.
Pretty sure that's the first time I've ever seen a companion shove two Ice Warriors aside, out of frustration, just to get past them.
Next on the Doctor's tinkering list: an oversized dental mirror. That causes dizziness, apparently.
Still trying to figure out if I find benevolent Ice Warriors to be weird or a pleasant change.
"Do you remember when that statue fell? The Doctor saved my life. Now I intend to save his." Made up my mind: pleasant change.
Now I get to wonder if Arcturus is a villain or just a douchebag.
*cue Secret Tunnel song from Avatar*
Awwww, lookit the big fuzzy pig monster!
Aggedor, I presume? *scratches behind the ears*
Aww, this must be Three's Venusian Lullaby! Naptime for Aggedor. :3
And the InfoText confirms my suspicion that Pertwee was singing it roughly to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman.
Fun fact: that's easily one of my favorite Christmas carols.
Okay, maybe not naptime just yet. Hey Jo, think you can lend a hand?
Umm, well chasing a monster off with fire wasn't quite what Three had in mind, but okay.
Bits of heart melting onto the floor because Three and Jo's adorableness is just too much.
"No one sees Aggedor and lives!"
"Well we just did! And I must say he's quite pleasant company, for an animal. He didn't even seem to mind when I scratched him behind the ears."
That rare moment when my Aww towards a monster becomes canonical.
So apparently being "lowered into the pit" on Peladon literally means "climb down this rope into the pit."
Time for spear-fighting! Also, there's a noticeable difference between the filmed fight sequence and the videotaped viewing sequence.
What's happening to Three's spear right now feels a lot like the stick fight in Men in Tights where the sticks keep breaking and shrinking.
Welp. I guess Arcturus was just being a substitute Dalek after all. I wonder if he and Hepesh were in cahoots this whole time.
I was right! Although I wasn't expecting Arcturus to get blown up less than a minute into the last episode. That...eww.
Usually we reach this degree of plot resolution with ten minutes left to go...so are they only Hepesh-hunting for the whole last episode?
Nope, first we must have POLITICS!
Not sure what Grun's up to. Is he trying to release Aggedor? What was he signalling to Three earlier? Who knows? Who knows. #imalmostsorry
I ADORE how Three tells Jo to take an active political role on her own and she doubts nothing. Say what you want, but girl's got brains.
Also, Grun doesn't even have dialogue and he still manages to be one of the most awesome characters in this serial.
...I said literally seconds before Hepesh took him down with no effort.
No really can we talk about Jo Grant and how she got the Federation council to come to a unanimous decision because
Sooo...either the Ice Warriors have their info wrong or King Peladon ignored Jo's proposal rejection and went "no, I want one anyway."
I know it was just the Warriors' hissing, but that sound on the discovery of the broken communicator should've been followed by "well shit."
There's a friendzone joke in here somewhere, but I do honestly think Peladon's trying to be a nice guy and not a Nice Guy.
Yes, we get it: Hepesh did the thing.
Also, now I understand why Alpha Centauri is always called a NERVOUS penis in a cape. Gurl/boi, calm yo tits.
Meanwhile, fighting ensues between two factions of half-naked men in purple mini-skirts! #ihavenothingtocomplainabouthere
Grun is great. Aggedor is great. SO MUCH OF THIS SERIAL'S CAST IS GREAT.
Now that we finally see Aggedor in a room full of people, I finally notice how...short...he is...?
Hepesh is going to die in Peladon's arms, isn't he?
Yup. And his dying words to his king were basically "welp, I done goofed. Peace out."
I was going to mention this earlier, but Peladon seems to keep the exact same expression for the entire story...
...and he only seems to be changing it just now, after the death of the man who nearly killed him. Dude.
Off-handed mention that the Time Lords were just fucking around with Three again, and then hello Aggedor!
guys he's rubbing up against three like a giant dog and he's growling affectionately and everything oh my god
One last hurrah before the crew departs, Peladon? Nice giant jewel-encrusted ruff, by the way.
"I need you."
"But you don't understand! I'm not even a real princess!"
"That doesn't matter."
#NOW #KISS
"I'll talk to you again after the coronation." and there goes my heart
AND THEY FINALLY FUCKING KISSED
I seriously don't remember the last time I shipped a companion and a one-off character this hard. This tops Leela and Andred by miles.
Ah, I was wondering when the real Earth delegate would arrive. "Doctor? What doctor? Doctor who?" #yousaidthething
And they need to bid a hasty retreat and miss the coronation after all. *casually throws self off a cliff*
Although the Earth delegate's reaction to the TARDIS vanishing at the very end was pretty excellent.
BUT WAIT I GOT THROUGH THAT ENTIRE LAST EPISODE AND ONLY JUST FIGURED OUT: "AGGEDORABLE"
Next: The Sea Devils