I am a gamer widow

[citivolus]

What is it with games?  I'm not a big person for video games, but I am trying to become interested, just so I might be able to spend time with Jason.  We've been together almost eight years, married for five of them, and the video games have always been there

Comments

[khordas]

I wouldn't call you irrational. It sounds like the give and take that makes a relationship work is broken right now. Sorry you're having a rough time, and if you want someone to talk with who isn't a gamer, I'll listen.

[citivolus]

I'd forgotten that you don't really game all that much. We seem to have worked some things out last night, but I'm not holding my breath...this is about the tenth time we have worked something out.

[kaysa]

Video game addiction is an actual condition, similar to alcoholism and the like. However I don't know if you're dealing with that or rather just 'maleness'. Boys aren't brought up by society to help out around the house or do things after school (or work). Is it any wonder that men won't do much after they get back from their jobs? Counseling sounds like a great idea. Maybe your therapist can help sort of retrain him and show him that he does benefit from helping you out...less nagging at him while he plays video games!

[citivolus]

That would be nice because I really hate nagging him. Do you have any of these problems with Matt, or is he one of the rare ones who can actually pick up after themselves?

[kaysa]

Well, I had a nice reply all set, but then Yahoo! mail ate it. Lets see if I can attempt to reconstruct

[citivolus]

All very good suggestions. We did have a talk last night, and I think it finally hit home how frustrated I am. It also helps that he got a look at my calendar and saw my class layout(8-6 Tue & Thurs) plus the kids appointments and I started working at Hardee's this week. Then I let the laundry go for about a week-partly because I was petty and partly because the kids had colds and I had a stomach virus-and had him do it all. I think he knows what i'm doing now. I swear, he thought I was just sitting and reading or watching TV while the kids played. Thank you for your ideas, and just the support.

[caladon]

As a gamer who's lived with the same girl for over 4 years, I might have some useful ideas

[citivolus]

I am interested in some video games, so maybe getting a DS or something would work. He does bring home most of the money, but I am working too, as well as going to school. True, my check brings in enough to pay for daycare, but I don't think that expecting him to help me is too much to ask. I cook everything except fried rice, which he does. I do the dishes and the laundry, though he does help me fold them and put them away. His mom pretty much did everything for him until he left for school, and when she came to visit him in the dorm, she cleaned his room and the bathroom, so he never had to do more than take out the trash before he moved in with me

Making an ass out of me

[caladon]

Too many assumptions in my last post. I assumed you had somebody who could watch the twins so you and Jason could go out. I assumed you had easy access to extra people for board games, and the two I mentioned are for three or more players. In fact, I think most good board games require at least 3 people.

There is one called Jambo that is made for exactly two people, but not much point in getting a two-player board game if Jason would rather play video games.

I realize I'm not much help here, but I can say these two things:

Expecting him to help you is not too much to ask.

Be thankful he's not into World of WarCraft.

Re: Making an ass out of me

[citivolus]

Believe me, I am very thankful that he is not into WoW. And I am looking for a casual sitter for the kids. I'm pretty sure the whole gaming thing is just the thing I see most often, so it's what I latch onto and complain about the most. Like I said in my recent post, we talked a lot and things look to be getting better.
Maybe you and Deb should come over some time.