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A meditation through pain
[An excerpt from today's ramblings on another platform I use for brain-dumping, when focus is elusive]
I guess that this leads back to bigger questions: Where do I find meaning, in my life? Where do I find joy? Where do I find peace? Satisfaction? Hope?
In the company of the people I cherish, for one. Movie nights. Falling in love. ( Read more... ) -
Oddly free-writing
I was working with a few timed writing prompts this morning, and these two pieces are the result. Hopefully, I can keep working on weird things during the school year ( Read more... ) -
Interwebs: Parlor Tricks
Pull your legs inside, and push. Harder. You've done this before...over and over again, in fact. Sometimes, you break yourself open and emerge, white-fanged and new and blushing. Sometimes, you get stuck and die inside. It would be easier to forget oneself if the shell didn't look so much like the thing inside. There are more words--there are ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
When misfits pretend to be fit as fiddles and the sky clouds its own vision, where antelope roam and roam and roam and somehow forget how to fall off of the edge of the earth...there you are. It's hard not to feel utterly useless these days. I'm a clock whose gears are wound too tightly, stuck with Schwartzchild where we all stand still forever ( Read more... ) -
Fishin' and Hopin'
I am lungs growing feet growing fishes. In the deep, my toes squelch heartbeats into silt into diamonds, and all because I read a few pretty lines in a book. Summer fast approaches, and with it storms of longing and regret. When you turn your head just so and listen carefully to frogs singing arias, you realize that there are no frogs, no Greek ( Read more... ) -
Re:Death
Sad, sadder, saddest. Bound by geography, I feel completely impotent to effect any sort of joy where it is most wa/rran/ted. My grandmother, who once went to mass twice a day and then came home to play dirty words against us in Scrabble now unintentionally replaces "dumpster" with "camper" and won't go outside without an escort. When once, she ( Read more... ) -
If It's Not Love, Then It's the Bomb/ Monkey Wash Donkey Rinse
You could no sooner tear me apart than I could put you back together again. You are not you, but your ghost, and I am a melodramatic television show host pattering on to the cameraman about how I suddenly grow cold from time to time. (You, in fact, were never you, save for a few brief moments when vapor grew fingers that stirred air or flesh ( Read more... ) -
Dumbing Down
If silence locked these lips, it was not for want of things to say. There are times when I go spelunking, because my silence needs a partner in itself. The deeper I descend, the more I can hear you...and myself. While I take communion with blind things that have no need of eyes, while I crawl on my belly to be closer to them, all of the noise in ( Read more... ) -
Land of the Lost
I am not extinct. I am in every turn of the soil, and in every cup of tea that passes your lips. Even as I sit still, I swallow you whole. I still follow the Mesozoic blood-song that prompted the original chase. In turn, you have hunted me to death. I just keep singing. I wear the skin of a serpent and a crown of Dodo feathers. Your head is ( Read more... )