I'm Sitting On The Edge Of My Seat Writing This, Only Because I'm Not Wearing My Glasses

[chrisheckisking]

We’re sitting at a restaurant table, mere arm’s length away from each other, and yet I still feel fairly distant. I can’t bring myself to look at you directly, my eyes are swimming with secrets. I’m not comfortable sharing them just yet, and I won‘t have them given away. Silence starts seeping into our conversation. So we just sit there, chewing

Comments

[chrisheckisking]

i would just ignore new people in my life. i'm very antisocial.

[chrisheckisking]

there's nothing i look forward to more than when you finally get a chance to talk to you.

[chrisheckisking]

guys, please don't use my journal as a buffer for something ugly.

[bashfullybane]

Chris, I'm sorry. I'm glad you're asking these questions, and as far as I know, you _will_ help yourself by doing so. It's good to see you here again, your writing really does inspire me and has almost always moved me emotionally. This post was no exception, and I can readily empathize with many of the views you hold here. But I have had no right to get so carried away with myself.

I don't know how much it's really worth, but I'm sorry for the intrusions, Chris (and others).

[chrisheckisking]

There's nothing to be sorry for. There aren't any intrudors here. Feel free to spam me anytime, I relish in the attention. I would've answered your comments a bit sooner if I hadn't been away from home in a while. Please don't feel neglected. Your needs are as equally as important as my own. It's okay if you need to rant a little. That's what I am here for.

But when a relationship "goes on the rocks...

...the rocks are there, right there."

I just don't want to get myself involved.

[bashfullybane]

Chris, you're so nice, I almost feel like you're mocking me - but that's probably my cruel side's paranoia. But all in all, that's very well put... that quote sums things up well, especially when you're a friend of both parties.

I don't feel neglected, and I shouldn't - especially now that you've replied. I'm used to feeling regret for all these things that I have fucked-up in my relationship, I'm used to seeing all the things I should be and am sorry for, and I know I'm inexperienced in all human relations... I am entirely sorry for the ego-mania I live in from time to time. It's such frustratingly Hamlet-like behavior like that of the deleted posts (and my contact with Elle) that I want to get away from.

All in all, I think I can identify with some of crises you experience... we probably all do.

Have you read Hamlet or Goethe's Faust? I'm feeling like they (or perhaps cliffnotes, as I'm a slacker) would be insightful for me now.

[chrisheckisking]

unfortunately, this isn't the first time i'm friends with both parties. it's so hard staying on the fence when you have people you care about swaying it back and forth. eventually you just topple over and hope that the decision you ended up with was rational.

it's so hard commenting these day. they're like a commitment that i keep going out of my way to avoid, but i just can't bring myself to do so. but, again, it's no problem. you can cry on my shoulder. i don't care. we all go through these things. we just need to help each other through it all the best we can.

i've read hamlet years ago. i thought the ending was rather bleak. the lion king was so much better.... when they completely stole the concept of hamlet.

i've never read faust, though.