New fic: Compass Rose, 2/7, Star Trek: Voyager, J/7
Title: Compass Rose
Author: chilly_flame
Fandom: Voyager
Pairing: J/7
Rating: M
Disclaimer: All the characters included herein are property of Paramount. Alas.
---
Dinner was served, and Seven sat back to watch Kathryn in action. Already she had five of the crew members eating out of her hand, their faces rapt in attention as she told tales of Voyager. Seven had so rarely seen this side of Kathryn since their return; she'd forgotten how much of a celebrity the Captain had been, and apparently was to this day. She wore a familiar cloak of dry humor and arrogance that Seven found incredibly alluring. With ease borne of experience and natural charisma, Kathryn Janeway could charm the toughest characters in the Delta quadrant, and these men and women were no match for her. Her smile was magnetic, seductive, and Seven felt her attraction grow. Kathryn was, in a word, magnificent. Seven flushed at the thought of distracting her former Captain from the others at the table, reeling in all the attention for herself.
In her mind's eye, the shipmates disappeared, leaving only herself and the object of her desire sitting at the table. Her imaginary Kathryn would watch her, eyes hooded and grey as Seven ran a silvery hand up the tendons of Kathryn’s neck and behind her head. Slowly she would lean in and touch her mouth to the one awaiting hers. Heat rushed through her body as she imagined snaking her tongue out to meet Kathryn's, of lifting her to stretch out on the dark wood of the table. How would she sound when aroused? Would it be a groan, low and raspy in her chest, or a cry, achy with desire? Seven's tongue felt thick and slow in her mouth as she fell deeper into the fantasy, Kathryn's voice resonating in her ears.
She blinked, coming back to the present. Kathryn's eyes were fastened on her. Trying to calm her breath, Seven swallowed, unable to break the gaze. When Josiah asked another question, Kathryn's focus was drawn away. But she looked back at Seven, searching. What had she seen? Passion, Seven thought. Perhaps 'the jig was up,' in Paris's words. She'd find out soon enough.
"Annika, you haven't told us any exploits of your Captain… Come on, it's your turn," Derek said, pouring her a glass of pale wine. She took the glass and sniffed approvingly. She was no snob, but she knew quality. Apparently the credits she'd paid had been put to good use.
Seven cleared her throat. "Shortly after my arrival on Voyager, the Captain catapulted the ship between two binary pulsars because she had a headache."
Silence met her words. The crew appeared stunned until Kathryn began to chuckle. It turned into a full-throated laugh, and she actually slapped her thigh in mirth. Seven grinned, and a few other giggles began to surface among the crew. Josiah said, "She's teasing. Isn't she?"
Kathryn smirked in Seven's direction. "No, in fact. But I was, shall we say, under duress at the time."
"But how did you survive?" asked another crewman. This was Simon, a former Starfleet engineer who’d retired after the Dominion War ended. "Wouldn't the gravitational pull have torn you apart?"
With a shrug, Kathryn replied, "Apparently we had just enough speed to make it before the hull breeched. And believe me, when Seven says I had a headache, it was a whopper. We were being experimented on by a race that performed tests on unwilling participants, and they refused to leave the ship. We had two choices: allow them continue, or do something rash. So I, uh, chose the latter. I think I used up at least two of my nine lives that day."
"And she nearly took the lives of a few senior staff with her as well," Seven added, thinking back to the raging Fury who had taken possession of the typically reasonable captain.
"Fortunately, I didn't. But if the tests had gone on any longer, I don't know what I might have done." Kathryn shook her head with an embarrassed grin.
"Wow," Simon replied. "I've been involved in my share of skirmishes, but a binary pulsar… That's a new one."
Kathryn nodded, but Seven was just getting started. "Then there was the time the Captain decided to attack a Borg sphere in order to retrieve a transwarp coil."
"What?" At least three people uttered the word simultaneously.
"She said she was feeling 'lucky' that day."
A frown crossed Kathryn's brow, and Seven continued. "The Borg Queen had been monitoring our movements, and she recalled me to the Collective as a trade to spare Voyager. But the Captain refused to abandon me, and followed the Queen’s sphere. She retrieved me, and ultimately we traveled 20,000 light years with the transwarp coil."
Questioning the strange look in Kathryn's eyes, Seven wondered how the Captain felt about the experience. She recalled standing inside the sphere and hearing Janeway's unmistakable voice in her mind as she stood before the Queen. It had been a revelation. And seeing Kathryn appear in the green-tinged room, fearless and determined, had been yet another. Looking back, it seemed miraculous.
"A Captain never abandons a member of her crew," Kathryn said simply.
"Let's hear it for the Captain then," Josiah said, holding up his glass. There were subtle cheers all around, and Kathryn held up her whiskey and soda to clink against Seven's wine. "I get the feeling that there are lots more tales where that came from," he added.
"A few," Kathryn said. "But 0530 comes early tomorrow, and this former Captain's not as young as she used to be. I'm going to settle in for the night."
"As will I, Admiral," Seven said, hoping to prolong her discussion with Kathryn in private. "Perhaps tomorrow we can continue?" she asked.
"Hell yeah," Derek said. "I read about Voyager, but it's not the same as hearing it from the real deal."
"Agreed," said Simon.
"Tomorrow then. Good night, everyone," Seven said.
"G'night," Kathryn echoed, waving over her shoulder.
Seven followed her to their quarters, waiting to see if Kathryn would speak. But she simply gathered up some toiletries and ventured into the head. With a sigh, Seven hunted down the communications PADD she'd brought for the trip and found two messages waiting, one from Beverly, the other from Harry. She started with Harry's. His face was bright and cheerful on the viewer.
"Seven, I just checked in with Dr. Kahn and she said you were on vacation. Way to go! I'm glad you're taking some time for yourself. Have fun whatever you're doing, and let me know when you're back. Libby and I are having a Thanksgiving party in a few weeks and we want you to come, so put it on your schedule. Henry's been asking to see you." Harry leaned out of range for a moment until he hoisted a handsome two-year-old up to the screen. With a toothy grin, the boy smiled and gave his version of a wave, opening and closing a tiny hand. "I'm trying to find the Admiral to invite her too, but apparently she took off yesterday without telling anyone where she went. If you hear of anything through the grapevine, let me know, okay? I know you two don't talk much but…" He trailed off. "Anyway, come if you can. Talk to you soon." The screen went blank. Seven noted the date immediately in her calendar and decided to mention it to Kathryn the following day.
After clicking to the next message, Beverly appeared. "Hi Seven, I hope things are going well. Just wanted to tell you we're thinking of you. Send word as soon as something happens please? We're on pins and needles." Beverly turned away for a moment, and Seven heard Jean-Luc saying something indistinct in the background. "Oh, stop, I'm not pestering her, it'll only take a minute." She turned forward once again, eyebrow raised and lips quirked in a grin. "Jean-Luc says hello too. We miss you, and send lots of love. Be well." She blew a kiss to Seven before the image blinked out.
Seven watched the message from Beverly a second time, enjoying the sense of warmth it gave her. Halfway through it, Kathryn came back in the room, and Seven tensed. The message didn't reveal anything, but she squirmed for a moment regardless. Kathryn glanced over, clearly hearing Beverly's voice sending love and a kiss. "Did you get a message?" she asked.
"Yes, from Captain Crusher."
"Beverly Crusher?"
"Yes."
Kathryn seemed flummoxed. "I didn't realize you knew one another."
"For many years," Seven said. "I first met Jean-Luc after my first briefings on Earth, and we kept in touch. We were… drawn to one another. I knew him from the Hive," she said, and she saw the understanding dawn on Kathryn's face.
"Locutus," she said.
"Yes. And he knew me, because of my proximity to the Queen. It was… a unique recognition." Picard had been fascinated with her, and vice versa. She had known his entire history, all his strengths and insecurities; his terror at assimilation, but his ultimate power to command as well. "He has been central to my human development. Both Jean-Luc and Beverly have become… family."
Seven couldn't read Kathryn's face. She watched the Admiral sit slowly on her bunk, setting a small bag on the bed beside her. "I underestimated you, Seven. I did it many times on Voyager, but I never thought I'd be saying it now. You're a constant source of surprise."
Tilting her head, Seven said, "Explain."
Still seeming to be at a loss, Kathryn said, "I remember when you asked me once to leave you in the Delta Quadrant, when we had the run in with Arturis." Seven nodded in response. "But instead you came to Earth and became a part of the culture here, Starfleet and otherwise. You've--embraced, I suppose--a world that you once feared. You made friends, found fulfilling work, became part of a family. More than one family, in fact. It's beyond impressive, Seven. It's everything I ever wanted for you."
Seven wondered if Kathryn realized that she had removed herself from life just as Seven had taken up the challenge. "My existence is not perfect, Kathryn. There are still missing pieces."
With a gentle, sad smile, Kathryn replied, "You have time. You'll find the answers you seek."
The words broke Seven's heart. "I hope so, Kathryn." You are the answer, she thought. I am seeking you.
"Do you mind if I sleep now?" the Admiral asked, her voice uneven.
"No, Admiral. I will wake you when it's time."
"Thank you. Sleep well." Kathryn's face changed, and Seven realized the question before she asked. "But what about you? Will you sleep? How will you regenerate?"
Seven lifted a small unit from next to her bunk. "It's portable."
Kathryn appeared relieved. "I'm glad to know you have it. I wouldn't want you to… run out of juice."
With a chuckle, Seven replaced the unit. "I eat far more today than I did on Voyager, and I sleep as well. I only need to regenerate 12 hours a week now, sometimes less."
"Good." Kathryn tucked her clothes into a small duffle. Seven observed her attire; a simple t-shirt that still managed to show off her curves, cotton leggings that flared out at the calf. And bare feet, which Seven couldn't help smile at. Kathryn pulled back the covers and slid beneath them, adjusting her pillow for a full minute.
"Are you comfortable? I can acquire more pillows if you like."
"I'm fine. Just getting settled is all. Don't mind me."
"All right."
Kathryn clicked off the light near her bunk, and Seven turned back to the PADD. Quietly she typed a message to Beverly.
Hello Beverly,
Thank you for your message. I am thinking of you and Jean-Luc too. Things are moving slowly. My confidence has faded somewhat now that we are on the ship, but I will proceed with my objective regardless. Though it is wonderful to be in Kathryn's presence again, I find myself nervous at times, unsure of what she is thinking. Interacting on a personal level has been a challenge for us both, but she has been willing to discuss certain issues that have long stood between us. I spoke to her briefly of Chakotay, and the dissolution of our relationship. I also mentioned you and Jean-Luc, which pleased her. There are moments when I believe she harbors romantic feelings for me, but at the same time, she is unwilling to acknowledge them. I continue to hope she will be able to explore those feelings, but have yet to devise a concrete plan to bring them into the open. I am attempting to 'play it by ear.'
I promise to write again tomorrow to update you on my progress.
Love,
Seven
She sent the message, and quickly prepared for bed. Setting the regeneration unit to deliver power for one hour, she turned off the lamp. Faint moonlight allowed her to see Kathryn across the room, her form unmoving in the narrow bunk. Her breathing was uneven; she had yet to fall asleep. Seven wondered what she was thinking, but once the regeneration cell began to function, all thought ceased, and she was plunged into darkness.
---
Kathryn stood on the Borg vessel, the sickly green glow illuminating the chamber. The iron taste of fear flooded her mouth, and she choked it back. The Queen stood at the center of the dais, smiling her seductive smile. "Captain," she said, the voice echoing in the room and inside her head. "You've brought me a present."
"No," Kathryn said, panicking. "No."
"But here she is," the Queen said, holding out to her left. Seven of Nine stepped forward out of the shadows, half human, half machine. Borg armor covered her right arm and leg, while her scalp had been shaved to accommodate new implants. The Queen leaned in and kissed Seven on the mouth, and Kathryn's stomach heaved in revulsion.
"No!"
Seven turned to her. "What is wrong, Captain? Will you not join us?"
"I won't. Seven, come home with me, back to Voyager."
"Voyager is no longer my home, Captain. I have found my own way." The Queen's hand drifted possessively down Seven's side to cup her hip, and Kathryn wanted to scream.
"Kathryn!" a voice called, interrupting her cry. It came a second time. "Kathryn, wake up!"
She sat up in the bunk, cognizant of a hand clutching her arm. She yanked herself away from it, falling from the bed in a heap. Sweat stung her eyes. After a moment, the click of a dim lamp reminded her of where she was. Immediately Seven knelt before her, eyes frantic. "Are you damaged?" she asked.
Kathryn tried to catch her breath, still trying to separate herself from the dream. “No,” she said, though she felt an ache in her thigh where she’d fallen. She shook her head, swallowing against the nausea twisting her gut.
Seven reached out to take Kathryn in her arms, but she stiffened against the embrace. Seven didn’t let go, however, murmuring, “Your nightmare has frightened me too. Please, allow us both this comfort, just once.” The plea in Seven’s voice was enough to convince her, though her distress remained. “What did you dream of?” Seven asked, her mouth close to Kathryn’s ear.
Swallowing her horror, Kathryn felt compelled to answer. “The Queen,” she whispered.
Seven’s grip tightened around her. She was nearly in Seven’s lap now, her arms huddled in tightly against her chest. A gentle hand came up to caress her hair, and the sensation was too much. Kathryn finally rested her cheek against Seven’s smooth collarbone. The feeling of it grounded her in reality, and she closed her eyes. Slowly she extracted her arms and slid them loosely around Seven’s waist. One hand skimmed a hip, and she felt for the circuitry she recalled from the dream. None was there; she could only detect muscle and bone beneath the drawstring pants.
Quietly as she could, she inhaled Seven’s scent. Her fingertips crept along the firm muscles of her back, and Kathryn started when she ran across what must have been an implant. Seven sat up straighter, but she did not pull away. Carefully Kathryn traced the metal, searching out the shape of it. Somehow she found herself lifting the soft shirt, fascinated. She’d never before been so close to Seven, nor touched an implant other than those on her hand and the crescent above her eye. But tonight, in the dim light, it felt safe. Necessary.
“It’s all right,” she mumbled for no reason, and Seven relaxed. Lips breathed puffs of air against her temple. The metal she found on Seven’s lower back was smooth and cool to the touch, contrasting with the heat her skin gave off. It wasn’t like the metal near her eye, grooved and bumpy. This felt fused with the flesh. She stroked it, and Seven arched under her touch. She knew it was probably making Seven uncomfortable, but she couldn't stop herself. The dream faded gradually, the terror becoming distant. This was real. Skin and metal blended to make this wonderful being who held her so tenderly.
Her eyes drifted shut, but her fingertips continued along their path. Her head was heavy against Seven’s chest. “Seven,” she said in an attempt to rouse herself.
“Shh,” Seven said, smoothing her hair once more.
---
Seven attempted to control her breathing. Though an innocent touch, the feeling of Kathryn's fingertips sliding along the implant guarding her sacrum was decidedly erotic. Her face flushed with heat as tingles raced down her spine, and lower.
After only a few minutes, the motion stopped, and Kathryn's hand fell away, limp. She was asleep in Seven's arms. Seven bent her face to Kathryn's hair and breathed in her fragrance. It was deliciously human.
Holding Kathryn was as lovely as she'd imagined it to be, even though it took a nightmare to send her into her arms.
Seven sat for as long as she could, until she realized she would neither get her advised amount of sleep, nor would she be able to walk in the morning. Carefully, she lifted Kathryn from the floor, amazed at how light she was. The bedclothes were on the ground, so she laid Kathryn on the mattress gently, positioning her on her side. Quickly she retrieved the duvet, shook it out and covered Kathryn completely. Unable to resist a last touch, she laid her hand against the auburn hair again.
"Seven," Kathryn muttered, her eyes still closed.
She snatched her hand away. With a sigh, she returned to her own bed and shut off the light. Certain she would not sleep, she chose to regenerate a second time, setting her internal chronometer to awaken her at 0500. That would allow plenty of time to complete her preparations.
---
Awareness crept into Kathryn's brain as it registered the unmistakable scent of coffee. Her eyes fluttered open to see a steaming mug on the side table, and next to it, a delicious looking breakfast of toast, eggs and fruit. She sat up and wiped at her eyes, wondering if breakfast in bed was part of the trip every day.
"Good morning, Admiral," Seven said. "You have approximately 15 minutes before we will be called to duty. I hoped you would appreciate the extra time."
"Yes," Kathryn said, her voice still gravelly from sleep. "How are you?"
"I am well," Seven replied, sipping at a thick, green beverage.
Grabbing the coffee mug, Kathryn inhaled, hoping for the best. She took a test gulp, her eyes widening at the taste. "What is this?" she demanded.
Seven blinked. "Coffee, black?"
"Is it real coffee?" Kathryn's brain was already buzzing.
"Of course. From Kona."
"It's wonderful!"
Seven's hesitant expression morphed into a blinding smile that traveled to her eyes. "I am glad."
"God," Kathryn said before taking a second mouthful. "I haven't had the real thing in ages."
Eyebrow raised, Seven said, "I don't know why you refuse to indulge yourself, Kathryn. You're an admiral in Starfleet. You should allow yourself traditional coffee."
Something in Seven's words reminded her of… her dream. The events of the previous night flooded back into her consciousness. Seven holding her close. Murmuring soothing words into her ear. Carrying her to bed. Her smile faded. "Seven," she croaked. "I just remembered--last night, and--"
"You fell back to sleep quickly. Did you rest well afterwards?"
Unable to find words, Kathryn bobbed her head.
"I am pleased. You must not feel badly for awakening me, Kathryn. It was my privilege to be of assistance." She looked down at her hands, almost shy. "I rarely get to indulge my own wishes to… hug. As unpleasant as the circumstances may have been, I enjoyed being near you."
That simple statement stole every trace of embarrassment away from her in an instant. Seven's tone, longing and lonely, struck deep in her heart. "You don't get to--hug--as often as you'd like to?"
"I have not been involved in an intimate relationship for some time. I find that I miss being close to another whom I care for. And as a Borg, I am not always welcomed 'with open arms' by others."
"Former Borg," Kathryn corrected automatically.
"Of course. And while my family is affectionate, we don't tend to cuddle frequently," Seven said with a laugh.
Kathryn laughed as well. "I'll hug you any time you like, Seven." I'd do more than that if I could, she thought.
Seven tilted her head pensively. Kathryn wondered what ideas were running through her mind. "Thank you." She looked away, out the window at the brightening sky. "You must eat. You will need energy."
"Agreed," Kathryn said, picking up her fork.
Half an hour later, they were riding with the wind. Kathryn had reacquainted herself with some of the terminology she'd forgotten, and tried out a few Bowlin knots for safety's sake. The crew was handling most of the work, but it was invigorating to feel the movement of the ship on the water. Seven attached the jib halyard to the head of the sail, and Kathryn began pulling the line to raise it. The wind caught it almost immediately, and Kathryn kept an eye on it to be sure it wouldn't be too tight. The other crew members were relaxed and joking around her, coiling ropes and pulling winches, and as the mainsail on the aft mast went up, the boat picked up tremendous speed.
As they caught a wave, the boat seemed to leave the water for a moment before it crashed back down. After catching her breath, Kathryn threw her head back and laughed. She looked out at the sky, lit by the rising sun and pale pink clouds. "It's beautiful," she shouted to Seven.
The blonde's hair was whipping out of its pins, the wind taking it in every direction. Seven's eyes were bright and excited as she gazed back at Kathryn. "It is," she called back as those around them pulled the lines through pulleys to control their speed. Josiah was at the helm, and it looked as though he was enjoying himself.
"Great day to start your voyage," he yelled to her.
"Absolutely," Kathryn said back. She zipped up her windbreaker a little higher, touching cheeks that felt a little numb. It was amazing, and they'd only been moving for five minutes.
As the hours passed, she began to feel more comfortable adjusting the sails, listening to the commands of Derek and Simon as they shouted back and forth. Her arms felt a little fatigued from working the old-fashioned winches, and she wiped a brow dotted with perspiration. By mid-morning, the day had warmed considerably. Sun beat down on the ship and the crew, and Kathryn looked around for Seven. She was standing at the bow, trimming the jib as Samuel looked on. Kathryn could tell she was listening intently to his instructions, learning all she could about the variables involved in the art of trimming on a sea-faring vessel.
Josiah called her name, and Kathryn headed toward the stern. "In about 15 knots or so we're going to drop sails and have some lunch. We're snorkeling and diving for the afternoon if you want to join us."
Snorkeling? That was news to Kathryn. It sounded divine. "I’ll check with Seven."
The plan was made: eat first, then swim. Things had been far more relaxed then Seven had implied. Getting up at 0530 had convinced Kathryn she was in for a tough haul. But thus far, it was pleasant. More than. She looked over at Seven curiously. Maybe she planned this better than Kathryn believed.
They were let off the hook for lunch today, and Seven offered to assist with the evening meal. Kathryn figured she could at least help out in return. Her lunch was delicious, as was the coffee she continued to guzzle.
After lunch, Simon chose to stay on board while the rest of the crew set up their diving equipment. As Josiah strapped the narrow, deceptively light air canister to his back, he asked, "You two sure you don't want to come with us? There's a reef a little ways away that has some incredible marine life."
"No thank you, Captain," Seven said politely. "We prefer to stay nearby."
"Suit yourself," he grinned. "Let's go, folks." The men and women splashed into the water in sleek wetsuits and goggles, adjusting their flippers before diving out of sight. At the stern, Simon faced outward, reading a book with his feet on the railing. For all intents and purposes, they were alone and could do as they wished.
"Seven, this seems more like a pleasure cruise than a working vacation. Did you know it would be like this?" Kathryn finally asked.
Seven's mouth twisted sweetly. "Yes. I was afraid you would not come with me if you believed it was truly a vacation. You have never been adept at… shore leave."
Kathryn smirked. Seven certainly had her number. "How did you get to know me so well?"
"I have excellent powers of observation," Seven replied.
They went below decks to change, and Kathryn wondered if her bathing suit was appropriate. She hadn't expected to wear it, but it was all she had in storage. God, she hoped it still fit. As she pulled the one piece up, she gazed in the mirror. Not bad, she supposed. She frowned at her rear, wishing gravity hadn't taken a toll, but hell, she was middle-aged. And it didn't matter what she looked like anyhow; Seven was trying to resolve her maternal issues with her former Captain. Seduction should be the last thing on her mind.
The problem was that it was more than just attraction bouncing around in her head, and her heart. Emotions were surfacing that Kathryn had pushed aside for years; they'd bubbled up as soon as she'd set eyes on Seven again. Best not to think about that, Kathryn thought. But she still felt a wire of tension between them, though now instead of a barrier, it felt like a connection. It felt like home, and the idea unnerved her.
Because in a few short days, it would be over, and she'd go back to being alone.
She stepped out of the head and tried to clear her mind. She was going swimming with Seven, and she should enjoy herself. Maybe tomorrow they'd go diving with the rest of the crew and she could show off the skills she'd gained on Mars as a young girl.
Seven was waiting for her in their quarters, towels and a spray can in hand. "Will you allow me to apply your second coat of sunscreen, Admiral?"
With a smile that hid her trepidation, she answered, "I think I can handle it, Seven. Hand it over."
Seven frowned, but did as requested. Kathryn got to work under Seven's scrutiny, and when she was finished, Seven took the can. "You have missed an entire section of your back. Turn around."
With a laugh, Kathryn turned. "I didn't know you were so worried about sunburn, Seven."
"I am in regard to you. I will not allow you to be damaged." Seven quickly applied an even coat to her back, and did her legs again for good measure. She handed the can back. "Besides, I am certain you would be impossible to live with were you to acquire such a burn."
Grinning, Kathryn replied, "You'd be right. Now, how about you?"
"You may do my back as well." With that, Seven removed the shirt she'd been wearing to reveal a simple blue suit that reminded Kathryn of one of her old uniforms. Except it was far more revealing. Quickly Kathryn sprayed the sunscreen on, resisting the impulse to reach for the flawless skin of Seven's back. There she saw the implants shooting out from her lower spine, the ones she'd touched the night before. The draw was too strong, finally, and she pressed a fingertip to one of them.
Seven flinched.
"I'm sorry," Kathryn said, backing away.
"You surprised me," Seven said, turning her head. "I will cover them if you prefer." She began to pull the shirt back on until Kathryn stepped forward.
"Seven, don't. I didn't mean to--I just wanted…" She chewed the inside of her lip, hesitant to say the words. "You're beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful. Even this," Kathryn said, pulling the shirt away once more. She was less afraid to touch now, wanting to prove to Seven she wasn't disgusted. The rivers of silver that stretched across her skin were elegant, and she traced one gently before laying a hand flat across her back. "You never have to hide from me. I promise."
She watched Seven swallow. Looking over her shoulder, she met Kathryn's eyes. Her discomfiture was disturbing. "I will not be able to remove them. The Doctor has done all he can."
"Have you tried?" Kathryn asked quietly.
"Yes. Last year. I believed I had adapted enough, but I was mistaken. I will always require regeneration and maintenance on my implants. I will never be fully human."
"When did removing your implants become the key to your humanity?"
"My imperfections are visible. I can not conceal what I am, or what I was. Although I am well-known among Starfleet and the Federation, I am still… feared by many."
Kathryn frowned and crossed to Seven's bunk, sitting down. "Did something happen to make you feel this way? You've been apart from the Collective for almost nine years. You seemed so adjusted on Voyager."
Seven shook her head slowly. Kathryn wanted to kick herself. How could she not have realized how difficult it would be for her? "Earth is not a starship, Kathryn. Not everyone is so accepting. It took years for some crew members on Voyager to become used to my presence, but on the ship I had my own concerns to deal with. I do not have that luxury here." She paused, her gaze unfocused. "Admiral Nechayev wanted to have both Icheb and myself dissected upon Voyager's return, of course." Seven delivered the statement as though it were a reasonable request.
"That situation was handled rather quickly, if I recall," Kathryn said, her voice low. She'd put a stop to it personally, with a few well-placed calls above Nechayev's head.
"And only last year, I attempted to form a friendship with a woman in the Propulsion Group. She… rejected me. It was not the first time."
Kathryn wondered if there was something else Seven wasn't telling her.
"In any event, I can not alter my appearance any further. I have learned to accept it." She clasped her hands in front of her. "You are one of the few who has never shamed me for my history, Kathryn. I will be forever grateful."
"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Seven. Sometimes I think the day you came to us--" Kathryn stumbled over the word. This was important: she had to be honest. "Came to me, was one of the luckiest days of my life."
Seven's face changed. She didn't smile, but the pain vanished. It felt so good to say the right thing.
---
Seven blinked quickly, unwilling to move for fear the tears would fall from her eyes. Hearing those words somehow made all the efforts, all the planning, all the pain she'd gone through, worth it. No matter how things turned out between them, this would be enough.
"I feel the same," she replied, her voice breaking.
Kathryn stood and moved toward her, arms opening. Seven hesitantly stepped close, allowing the Admiral's arms to come around her. Eyes shut, Seven took a deep breath and held it, wanting the embrace to last forever. She felt Kathryn's hands travel down her back, and this time she didn't flinch. It felt wonderful.
"I'm glad you found me, Seven," Kathryn said softly.
Seven didn't know exactly what she meant, but right now, she didn't care.
The details of the moment would stay forever in her mind's eye; the glow of ambient light on auburn hair, the warmth of her body, the scents of cocoa butter and coffee. Kathryn leaned back in her arms and looked up, her eyes dark. She brushed a hand across Seven's cheek.
I love you, Seven thought. Always.
"Want to go for a swim?" Kathryn asked, her deep tones betraying the levity of the question.
With a nod, Seven answered, "I am ready." The intensity inside the room lifted, but she felt a depth to her bond with Kathryn that had been absent thus far. A hand trailed down Seven’s arm as they separated, and Seven felt tingles in the wake of the touch.
Upstairs, they fitted themselves with the small breathing apparatuses used for snorkeling. Kathryn looked amusing with her mask affixed to her face, a big smile below it. “Don’t worry, you look as ridiculous as I do,” she said slyly. “Let’s do it.”
Their preparations completed, Kathryn jumped from the side of the boat, splashing into the clear blue water of the ocean. Seven waved to Simon, who said, “Give me a shout if you need anything.”
Seven nodded and went to the side. She stepped off the boat holding the breathing tube and flippers in her hand. Once she surfaced, she adjusted the flippers to fit her feet as Kathryn did the same. By the time she had finished, Kathryn was waiting for her, the tube already in her mouth. Seven followed suit and tested it out. Satisfied it was working, she locked eyes with Kathryn, who gave a quick nod of the head before disappearing beneath the surface.
Moments later she was submerged, amazed at the beauty of the underwater world. She trailed after Kathryn, who had spied a small school of yellow fish. Healthy colonies of coral were about fifteen meters down, but for now, she would content herself on keeping up with her “diving buddy.” Her flippers propelled her forward at great speed and she caught up in a few seconds. Behind the mask she could see how cheerful Kathryn’s expression was. She had once heard the Captain tell a story about cave diving on Mars, though she never got the chance to hear the end of the tale due to a red alert breaking in.
Time passed, and soon Kathryn pointed north. Seven zoomed in on the location, accessing the name of the creatures from her cortical implant. A number of Loggerhead sea turtles, binomial name Caretta caretta, were ambling along the coral ridge about fifty meters away, and Kathryn waved to her. She could practically hear the words, “Hurry up!” They took off, careful not to attract too much attention to themselves. Seven pulled the waterproof holoimager from her belt and waited until they drew closer. One of the turtles noticed Kathryn but seemed undisturbed, continuing its exploration of the reef. They were nearly above them now, and Seven captured several images. Kathryn drifted down, never reaching out to touch, but one of the smaller turtles became curious. It glided up, and for a few moments, they were face to face. Seven eagerly snapped four photos in quick succession. Kathryn looked over at Seven, her smile visible even with the breathing apparatus in her mouth. Seven took another for good measure.
Eventually they moved off, never going too far from the boat. Seven captured dozens of images, most of Kathryn, and a handful of sea life. After close to two hours, she sensed it was time for them to head back. She pointed upwards, and Kathryn nodded. Moments later, they broke the surface. Kathryn pulled off her mask with a laugh. She was glowing. “Fantastic!”
“Indeed,” Seven replied, treading water.
Seven retrieved what Kathryn called “floaties” from the boat for them to drift in the current, gazing onto the horizon. As much as Seven had planned this excursion to benefit Kathryn, she found herself enjoying it as well. Being on the water was peaceful, as was having someone to share it with.
As the contentment settled over her, she laid her head back and closed her eyes.
Someone shook her. “Seven,” a husky voice said. “Let’s go in. Josiah’s here.”
Seven blinked in the waning light. “Kathryn,” she said glancing over at the sun-kissed face. She was so lovely.
Kathryn laid a hand on her arm. “Come on.”
Still sleepy, Seven sat up. “All right.”
The chill of the water jarred her fully back to consciousness. She made her way up the ladder after Kathryn, shivering slightly. Though her temperature was regulated by her nanoprobes, the water had cooled her implants. She was unused to being in water for such an extended period of time, and combined with her unexpected nap, her body temperature had dropped.
She followed Kathryn down into their room, gritting her teeth. Kathryn said, “Go ahead, Seven. You can shower first.”
“No, Kathryn. You may go.”
Glancing over her shoulder, Seven recognized the expression. “Seven, you’re freezing.” She smirked. “Consider that an order.”
Unable to prevent a grin from tipping her lips, Seven answered, “I will comply.”
Moments later she was under the old fashioned water stream, grateful for the heat. Her muscles were pleasantly fatigued. The scent of eucalyptus relaxed her even further, and she looked forward to putting together a pleasant meal for the crew.
When she emerged from the head, Kathryn was reclining on the bed, reading a PADD. “Your turn,” she said.
“Thanks,” Kathryn replied. She tapped the PADD briefly as Seven put away her toiletries. She gathered her own things as Seven towel-dried her hair.
“I will be preparing dinner with Simon,” she said. “We’re grilling steaks. Is that acceptable? I will be happy to make something else for you.”
“Oh god,” Kathryn groaned. “Steak. I can’t wait. But aren’t I supposed to be helping you?”
“It’s all right, Kathryn. I am proficient in the kitchen. Perhaps you can fix… something simple for breakfast tomorrow.”
“So you have a long memory, eh?” Kathryn said with a smile.
“The smell of burnt pasta has not yet left my olfactory senses,” she said, recalling one particularly disastrous incident. After two years on Voyager, even Neelix’s worst concoction couldn’t rival the scent of pasta in a pot well after the water had boiled away.
Kathryn laughed heartily. “My mother would kill me if she knew. Please, Seven, don’t ever tell her about that. I’d never hear the end of it.”
“I shall keep your secret,” Seven said, hoping that meant that she would meet Gretchen Janeway once more.
She brushed her hair out for a few more minutes, preparing to meet with the crew. To her surprise, she heard humming coming from the bathroom. At first she thought Kathryn was speaking to her from inside the shower. But after a moment, she realized that Kathryn was singing. Seven adjusted her cranial implant to pick up the sound more clearly, but she didn't recognize the song. Only that it was slightly out of tune. She wondered if Kathryn had sung in the shower for all the years she'd been on Voyager, and if anyone else on the ship knew.
In the galley, she and Simon worked efficiently to fix the meal. She chopped dozens of vegetables for skewers to go on the grill, while Simon seasoned the meat. Another crew member called Atal, a Bajoran, mashed traditional russet potatoes. According to Josiah, meat and potatoes were good for sailors.
Less than an hour later, dinner was served. Kathryn dug in with gusto, inhaling the first half of her meal before slowing down to match Seven's pace. "It's delicious. My compliments to the chefs," she said between bites.
"Thanks, Admiral. Seven's quite the cook, isn't she."
She looked in Seven's direction. "Still?" Kathryn said.
Simon raised his eyebrows. "She diced all the vegetables in five minutes flat. And there were a lot.”
There was a collective “woo” around the table. “Girl’s got knife skills!”
Embarrassed, Seven said nothing. She had an unfair advantage compared to average humans; with her left hand, she could do everything faster. But when she found Kathryn watching her, she was struck by the pride in her eyes. An elegant hand lifted a glass in silent toast, and Seven hid a smile.
---
Leaning back in her chair, her dessert plate empty, Kathryn felt sated and warm. The glass of port was working its magic, and she was comfortable in the presence of her fellow sailors. And Seven… Well, her hair was down, her cheeks rosy, and she laughed more than Kathryn had ever heard before. It had been the perfect day. Her anxieties had fallen away, and even though Kathryn knew it was temporary, she was grateful.
Conversation was quiet, and the group had dwindled to five. Seven caught her eye and asked, “Would you care to go above deck?”
Kathryn nodded. She refilled her glass halfway before heading back to the room to grab a jacket. Seven followed suit, and a few minutes later they sat close together in deck chairs, gazing at a sliver of moon. The sky was filled with stars, and Kathryn named the constellations to herself.
The moments crept by. Kathryn sipped at her wine, noticing that Seven had made herself an Irish coffee. “Coffee, Seven. I’m surprised.”
“It is decaffeinated,” she said wryly.
“Never thought you’d come over to the dark side.”
There was a pause. “It brings back good memories,” Seven finally replied.
Kathryn didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. She shivered in her jacket, pulling it closer to her neck. Cool air caressed her face while a gentle breeze lifted her hair.
The moon slowly shifted in the sky as Kathryn reveled in the quiet companionship. Although it was early, she was tired.
“Seven?”
“Yes, Kathryn?”
“Have I thanked you for this?”
“No, Kathryn.”
She reached out, grazing Seven’s left hand. It turned over in her grasp and their fingers threaded together. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
They stayed that way for a long time, until Kathryn’s eyes began to slip shut. Seven pulled softly on her hand, whispering, “Time to sleep. Come along.”
She blinked, standing unsteadily. Seven led her down the narrow steps, their hands still joined. Once in their room, Seven unzipped Kathryn’s jacket. Kathryn lifted her head as a sudden heat suffused her; the gesture felt oddly intimate. The coat slipped off her arms, and Seven folded it and laid it on the narrow dresser. She returned to Kathryn a moment later. “Good night, Kathryn.”
“Night,” she managed. Uncertain of what to do, she followed her instincts. Stepping into the circle of Seven’s arms, she was gratified by the returned embrace. Soft lips touched her temple, and the blush in her cheeks deepened.
When Seven moved away to the other side of the room, Kathryn felt bereft. Aimlessly, she prepared for bed. Seven slipped between the sheets of her bed across the room. The quiet whirr of the regeneration unit started, and with that, Seven was gone. Kathryn sat at the side of her bunk and watched the still form. Her features were peaceful.
Touching Seven was becoming a habit, one that Kathryn was going to have a problem breaking. Better not to get too attached, she reminded herself.
It was a long time before sleep came.
---
Seven's eyes opened at 0500, and she sat up in her bunk. She could see clearly that Kathryn lay sleeping, but the covers were thrown haphazardly on the floor, as were the pillows. She was sprawled on her belly, obviously cold. Seven frowned. She did not approve of her former captain's sleeping habits. Or lack thereof. Quietly she crept across the small space and retrieved the blanket as she had the night before. But before she placed it over Kathryn, she saw the dark circles visible beneath her eyes, as well as a well-worn frown line deep in her brow. Seven wished she would share her burden. They had talked more in the last three days than they had over five years, but still Seven wanted more. Maybe she wanted too much-that the time and space between them would vanish instantly. But she'd felt her attachment to Kathryn firm and solidify being in her presence. Holding her last night, just brushing her skin with her lips had been heaven. So much so that she felt a need to break away instead of asking for more. Kathryn wasn't ready, and perhaps Seven wasn't either.
She replaced the covers atop Kathryn, who didn't move. She made a decision to allow her extra sleep. There was no need to continue the charade that they had to live by a particular schedule.
But Seven would keep to her regular time. She had slept enough, and regenerated her allotted hour. A little sustenance and she would be ready to continue their journey.
Two hours later, as Seven stood at the side of the boat watching the waves, she heard Kathryn clamber up the steps. She was gripping the mug Seven had given her yesterday. "Why didn't you wake me?" she asked irritably.
"There was no need. You required further rest."
"I didn't," she said gruffly.
Seven recognized this mood. Kathryn needed to eat, right away. "Come below. I will fix your breakfast."
"I don't need you to make me every meal, Seven. Even I can fix a bowl of cereal," she grumbled.
"Then I suggest you do so. I do not want to have to explain your bad temper to Josiah and the crew."
Kathryn's mouth set in a firm line. "I don't have a bad temper." But when she turned and departed, Seven breathed a sigh of relief. Too often she had seen Kathryn work through meals on Voyager, and it never ended well. It wasn't as bad as caffeine deprivation, but it ran a close second.
Fifteen minutes later, Kathryn returned. Her color had improved. As she looked more closely, Seven smiled at the bright freckles that had sprung up across the Admiral's cheeks and nose. They were charming.
"Hi," she said.
"Good morning, Kathryn."
"Sorry," she said.
"Apology accepted." She motioned for Kathryn to join her. "Today the Captain suggested that we go diving. Apparently yesterday was a highly successful endeavor. Would you like to go?"
"Absolutely."
"Excellent. I will inform him." She peered at Kathryn's face intently. "Are you well, Kathryn?"
Kathryn stared out at the water, focused on the clouds in the distance. She nodded absently. "Do you need me this morning?" she asked.
"We have the ship well in hand, if that's what you're asking," Seven replied.
"I might go up top for a little while," she said, gesturing to the crow's nest at the top of the main mast.
"As you wish."
Seven watched as she climbed the ladder to the small, partly enclosed watch post. It went unmanned most of the time, since the ship had advanced sensors to detect any ships in the vicinity. But it was present because of tradition, and Seven hoped that some time alone would help Kathryn resolve her difficulties.
What had happened between last night and this morning? She thought about their evening together, considering it pleasant and comfortable. The attraction simmered between them, but not overwhelmingly so. Nothing had been said or done that needed to be explained away.
But they had touched. Embraced. Seven's face fell. Kathryn was retreating. Seven sighed. So much for making things easy on both of them. She would have to allow this small setback. In the afternoon they would be part of a group, so any tension would be lessened. Seven would remain at a distance this evening as well.
Tomorrow would be another story.
---
Kathryn felt clearer after her few hours in the crow's nest. She had needed time away from Seven's attention for a while; it was starting to annoy her. Why must she always be so generous, so understanding? So accommodating? It was going to be hard enough to go back to real life. She didn't have to make it worse by being wonderful.
Kathryn was just going to resist the other woman's charms. It wouldn't be so hard. She'd done it for years on Voyager. She just had to see herself as the Captain again, and everything would be fine.
"So, Admiral, ready to go on a dive?" Simon asked. "I'm going--Sandy is staying behind today."
"I can't wait. It's been a long time for me. I used to cave dive on Mars, years ago."
He looked impressed. "That can be dangerous, I hear."
"I've done my share of dangerous things," she said, a note of flirtation entering her voice. He grinned appreciatively. Over his shoulder, she saw that Seven was not smiling. "Diving, Seven? You coming?"
"Of course," she replied coolly. "I have prepared your equipment."
Kathryn chewed the inside of her cheek, fighting down the remark on the tip of her tongue. I can do it myself, she thought. Instead, she said, "Thank you. I'll be right back."
Quickly she changed her clothes, retrieving the suit from yesterday. She pulled it on and covered her skin with sunscreen again, cursing her fair complexion. Her freckles had come out with a vengeance, but there was no hiding it here.
She emerged ready to go, or so she thought. Seven, on the other hand, seemed to have forgotten half her suit. Today she was clothed in a pair of the shortest shorts she'd ever seen, with her diving belt strapped snugly about her waist. A bikini top covered her breasts, but Kathryn spied an inch or two of delicious curve peeking out in profile.
Kathryn swallowed. She clamped down on the arousal that betrayed itself through her body's physical reaction. Quickly she pulled a dive shirt on and shook her head. "Seven," she said, her voice huskier than she liked, "Are you sure you want to wear that on a dive?"
"I find it comfortable. I do not believe I shall offend the fish," she said in return.
"You won't offend any of us either," Derek said with an approving look on his face. "I thought your implants would look bizarre, but I gotta say, I kinda like 'em. On you they look like art."
Seven bowed her head graciously. "Thank you."
Momentarily Kathryn was enraged. She wanted to cover Seven’s body and preserve her from the leering looks of the sailors on board. No one else should have the luxury of enjoying Seven’s body except her.
Kathryn stood straighter for a moment. Where had that thought come from? Seven wasn't, nor would she ever be, hers. Kathryn could admire, even care for, from afar. But she had no hold over Seven's behavior. Seven had said herself that she had tried to form romantic attachments, but that she had been unsuccessful. She deserved to find love, even if it was in the arms of someone else. It stung bitterly, the thought of never being with Seven, but it was worse to think of Seven spending the rest of her life in solitude. Perhaps one of the crew here could help Seven along on her journey. Derek seemed like a sweet man. Who knows, Kathryn thought. Maybe they'll get to know one another. I could always give them a push in the right direction.
“We found a pod of dolphins yesterday, and the sensors indicate they may have traveled this way last night. Obviously we’re not looking too hard, but we’re just hoping for some good luck. Everyone ready?” Josiah asked.
There was a collective assent, and the group disembarked down the ladder one by one. Seven hovered close by, but Kathryn ignored her presence and stuck by Simon. They swam for about ten minutes, pointing and studying schools of fish as they came upon them. Eventually they began their descent, dropping a few meters at a time. It was chilly, and Kathryn was relieved she’d worn a dive shirt and shorts. She glanced over at Seven in her bikini and hoped she’d be warm enough. Seeming to sense Kathryn’s attention, Seven looked in her direction and gave her best underwater smile. A moment later, Seven had the holoimager in her hand, and she took a photo. Kathryn waved, but her stomach felt hollow.
Something had changed. Kathryn felt lonelier than ever, just being in Seven’s presence. They’d had such a lovely day yesterday. This morning, she’d woken up in the world’s rottenest mood. Meanwhile, Seven had looked glorious, tanned and fit, her muscles practically glowing in the sun. Behind the anonymity of her mask, desire sparked low in Kathryn’s belly. She allowed a subtle appraisal of her…friend. Kathryn didn’t even know what to call her now. Seven wasn’t a crew member, wasn’t family, wasn’t anything, really. More than a friend, but less than…a lover.
What might it be like to be Seven’s lover? To be able to hold her close, to run her fingers along the line of her neck, traveling just behind her ear. To freely explore the sweet curve of her hip, the gentle crests and valleys of her belly, to trail fingernails up the backs of muscled thighs…
With a jolt Kathryn realized she’d drifted lower than she should have, and adjusted the weight on her belt to bring her back in line with the rest of the group. She cursed her lack of concentration and swam away from Seven, searching for Simon.
Soon, the group ascended some distance from the ship. The pod of dolphins they’d sought was nearby, with most members resting in the daylight hours. But as the crew approached, they woke and swam happily around them. Kathryn laughed, studying the animals as they frolicked together. She held out a hand, touching their skin when they were close enough, but didn't seek further contact. A few meters ahead, she saw Seven in what appeared to be close communication with one of the dolphins. The animal was “speaking” to Seven, prodding her hand with a insistent nose. Finally, with seeming trepidation, Seven reached out and petted the creature. Kathryn marveled at her gentleness, her respect and care. Against her will, tears stung Kathryn’s eyes, and she listened to the steadiness of her breath as it whistled inside her mask.
Finally they emerged above the surface. Kathryn floated for a moment, gazing into the almost shocking blue of the sky. It was a gorgeous day. She closed her eyes while the crew splashed, talking about the incredible sights they’d seen. Melancholy had set in fully by this time, and Kathryn felt powerless against it. Simon was nearby, and she called out, “I’m heading back, okay?”
“Hey, wait up. You should have a buddy.”
“I can see the ship, I’ll be fine,” she assured him. It wasn’t far, and she wanted a few minutes alone.
The flippers propelled her through the water, and she used the breathing apparatus to allow her to move even faster beneath the surface. She drove herself hard, feeling the burn in her arms and lungs as she raced closer to the schooner. Bursting above the water, she tore the breather from her mouth and inhaled the fresh air. The mask came off next, and she dipped her head back to rinse her face. The water felt cool and clean on her overheated skin.
She didn't think she was going to last a week doing this. Relaxing just wasn't in her nature. Maybe tomorrow she'd talk to Seven.
---
Part III
Author: chilly_flame
Fandom: Voyager
Pairing: J/7
Rating: M
Disclaimer: All the characters included herein are property of Paramount. Alas.
---
Dinner was served, and Seven sat back to watch Kathryn in action. Already she had five of the crew members eating out of her hand, their faces rapt in attention as she told tales of Voyager. Seven had so rarely seen this side of Kathryn since their return; she'd forgotten how much of a celebrity the Captain had been, and apparently was to this day. She wore a familiar cloak of dry humor and arrogance that Seven found incredibly alluring. With ease borne of experience and natural charisma, Kathryn Janeway could charm the toughest characters in the Delta quadrant, and these men and women were no match for her. Her smile was magnetic, seductive, and Seven felt her attraction grow. Kathryn was, in a word, magnificent. Seven flushed at the thought of distracting her former Captain from the others at the table, reeling in all the attention for herself.
In her mind's eye, the shipmates disappeared, leaving only herself and the object of her desire sitting at the table. Her imaginary Kathryn would watch her, eyes hooded and grey as Seven ran a silvery hand up the tendons of Kathryn’s neck and behind her head. Slowly she would lean in and touch her mouth to the one awaiting hers. Heat rushed through her body as she imagined snaking her tongue out to meet Kathryn's, of lifting her to stretch out on the dark wood of the table. How would she sound when aroused? Would it be a groan, low and raspy in her chest, or a cry, achy with desire? Seven's tongue felt thick and slow in her mouth as she fell deeper into the fantasy, Kathryn's voice resonating in her ears.
She blinked, coming back to the present. Kathryn's eyes were fastened on her. Trying to calm her breath, Seven swallowed, unable to break the gaze. When Josiah asked another question, Kathryn's focus was drawn away. But she looked back at Seven, searching. What had she seen? Passion, Seven thought. Perhaps 'the jig was up,' in Paris's words. She'd find out soon enough.
"Annika, you haven't told us any exploits of your Captain… Come on, it's your turn," Derek said, pouring her a glass of pale wine. She took the glass and sniffed approvingly. She was no snob, but she knew quality. Apparently the credits she'd paid had been put to good use.
Seven cleared her throat. "Shortly after my arrival on Voyager, the Captain catapulted the ship between two binary pulsars because she had a headache."
Silence met her words. The crew appeared stunned until Kathryn began to chuckle. It turned into a full-throated laugh, and she actually slapped her thigh in mirth. Seven grinned, and a few other giggles began to surface among the crew. Josiah said, "She's teasing. Isn't she?"
Kathryn smirked in Seven's direction. "No, in fact. But I was, shall we say, under duress at the time."
"But how did you survive?" asked another crewman. This was Simon, a former Starfleet engineer who’d retired after the Dominion War ended. "Wouldn't the gravitational pull have torn you apart?"
With a shrug, Kathryn replied, "Apparently we had just enough speed to make it before the hull breeched. And believe me, when Seven says I had a headache, it was a whopper. We were being experimented on by a race that performed tests on unwilling participants, and they refused to leave the ship. We had two choices: allow them continue, or do something rash. So I, uh, chose the latter. I think I used up at least two of my nine lives that day."
"And she nearly took the lives of a few senior staff with her as well," Seven added, thinking back to the raging Fury who had taken possession of the typically reasonable captain.
"Fortunately, I didn't. But if the tests had gone on any longer, I don't know what I might have done." Kathryn shook her head with an embarrassed grin.
"Wow," Simon replied. "I've been involved in my share of skirmishes, but a binary pulsar… That's a new one."
Kathryn nodded, but Seven was just getting started. "Then there was the time the Captain decided to attack a Borg sphere in order to retrieve a transwarp coil."
"What?" At least three people uttered the word simultaneously.
"She said she was feeling 'lucky' that day."
A frown crossed Kathryn's brow, and Seven continued. "The Borg Queen had been monitoring our movements, and she recalled me to the Collective as a trade to spare Voyager. But the Captain refused to abandon me, and followed the Queen’s sphere. She retrieved me, and ultimately we traveled 20,000 light years with the transwarp coil."
Questioning the strange look in Kathryn's eyes, Seven wondered how the Captain felt about the experience. She recalled standing inside the sphere and hearing Janeway's unmistakable voice in her mind as she stood before the Queen. It had been a revelation. And seeing Kathryn appear in the green-tinged room, fearless and determined, had been yet another. Looking back, it seemed miraculous.
"A Captain never abandons a member of her crew," Kathryn said simply.
"Let's hear it for the Captain then," Josiah said, holding up his glass. There were subtle cheers all around, and Kathryn held up her whiskey and soda to clink against Seven's wine. "I get the feeling that there are lots more tales where that came from," he added.
"A few," Kathryn said. "But 0530 comes early tomorrow, and this former Captain's not as young as she used to be. I'm going to settle in for the night."
"As will I, Admiral," Seven said, hoping to prolong her discussion with Kathryn in private. "Perhaps tomorrow we can continue?" she asked.
"Hell yeah," Derek said. "I read about Voyager, but it's not the same as hearing it from the real deal."
"Agreed," said Simon.
"Tomorrow then. Good night, everyone," Seven said.
"G'night," Kathryn echoed, waving over her shoulder.
Seven followed her to their quarters, waiting to see if Kathryn would speak. But she simply gathered up some toiletries and ventured into the head. With a sigh, Seven hunted down the communications PADD she'd brought for the trip and found two messages waiting, one from Beverly, the other from Harry. She started with Harry's. His face was bright and cheerful on the viewer.
"Seven, I just checked in with Dr. Kahn and she said you were on vacation. Way to go! I'm glad you're taking some time for yourself. Have fun whatever you're doing, and let me know when you're back. Libby and I are having a Thanksgiving party in a few weeks and we want you to come, so put it on your schedule. Henry's been asking to see you." Harry leaned out of range for a moment until he hoisted a handsome two-year-old up to the screen. With a toothy grin, the boy smiled and gave his version of a wave, opening and closing a tiny hand. "I'm trying to find the Admiral to invite her too, but apparently she took off yesterday without telling anyone where she went. If you hear of anything through the grapevine, let me know, okay? I know you two don't talk much but…" He trailed off. "Anyway, come if you can. Talk to you soon." The screen went blank. Seven noted the date immediately in her calendar and decided to mention it to Kathryn the following day.
After clicking to the next message, Beverly appeared. "Hi Seven, I hope things are going well. Just wanted to tell you we're thinking of you. Send word as soon as something happens please? We're on pins and needles." Beverly turned away for a moment, and Seven heard Jean-Luc saying something indistinct in the background. "Oh, stop, I'm not pestering her, it'll only take a minute." She turned forward once again, eyebrow raised and lips quirked in a grin. "Jean-Luc says hello too. We miss you, and send lots of love. Be well." She blew a kiss to Seven before the image blinked out.
Seven watched the message from Beverly a second time, enjoying the sense of warmth it gave her. Halfway through it, Kathryn came back in the room, and Seven tensed. The message didn't reveal anything, but she squirmed for a moment regardless. Kathryn glanced over, clearly hearing Beverly's voice sending love and a kiss. "Did you get a message?" she asked.
"Yes, from Captain Crusher."
"Beverly Crusher?"
"Yes."
Kathryn seemed flummoxed. "I didn't realize you knew one another."
"For many years," Seven said. "I first met Jean-Luc after my first briefings on Earth, and we kept in touch. We were… drawn to one another. I knew him from the Hive," she said, and she saw the understanding dawn on Kathryn's face.
"Locutus," she said.
"Yes. And he knew me, because of my proximity to the Queen. It was… a unique recognition." Picard had been fascinated with her, and vice versa. She had known his entire history, all his strengths and insecurities; his terror at assimilation, but his ultimate power to command as well. "He has been central to my human development. Both Jean-Luc and Beverly have become… family."
Seven couldn't read Kathryn's face. She watched the Admiral sit slowly on her bunk, setting a small bag on the bed beside her. "I underestimated you, Seven. I did it many times on Voyager, but I never thought I'd be saying it now. You're a constant source of surprise."
Tilting her head, Seven said, "Explain."
Still seeming to be at a loss, Kathryn said, "I remember when you asked me once to leave you in the Delta Quadrant, when we had the run in with Arturis." Seven nodded in response. "But instead you came to Earth and became a part of the culture here, Starfleet and otherwise. You've--embraced, I suppose--a world that you once feared. You made friends, found fulfilling work, became part of a family. More than one family, in fact. It's beyond impressive, Seven. It's everything I ever wanted for you."
Seven wondered if Kathryn realized that she had removed herself from life just as Seven had taken up the challenge. "My existence is not perfect, Kathryn. There are still missing pieces."
With a gentle, sad smile, Kathryn replied, "You have time. You'll find the answers you seek."
The words broke Seven's heart. "I hope so, Kathryn." You are the answer, she thought. I am seeking you.
"Do you mind if I sleep now?" the Admiral asked, her voice uneven.
"No, Admiral. I will wake you when it's time."
"Thank you. Sleep well." Kathryn's face changed, and Seven realized the question before she asked. "But what about you? Will you sleep? How will you regenerate?"
Seven lifted a small unit from next to her bunk. "It's portable."
Kathryn appeared relieved. "I'm glad to know you have it. I wouldn't want you to… run out of juice."
With a chuckle, Seven replaced the unit. "I eat far more today than I did on Voyager, and I sleep as well. I only need to regenerate 12 hours a week now, sometimes less."
"Good." Kathryn tucked her clothes into a small duffle. Seven observed her attire; a simple t-shirt that still managed to show off her curves, cotton leggings that flared out at the calf. And bare feet, which Seven couldn't help smile at. Kathryn pulled back the covers and slid beneath them, adjusting her pillow for a full minute.
"Are you comfortable? I can acquire more pillows if you like."
"I'm fine. Just getting settled is all. Don't mind me."
"All right."
Kathryn clicked off the light near her bunk, and Seven turned back to the PADD. Quietly she typed a message to Beverly.
Hello Beverly,
Thank you for your message. I am thinking of you and Jean-Luc too. Things are moving slowly. My confidence has faded somewhat now that we are on the ship, but I will proceed with my objective regardless. Though it is wonderful to be in Kathryn's presence again, I find myself nervous at times, unsure of what she is thinking. Interacting on a personal level has been a challenge for us both, but she has been willing to discuss certain issues that have long stood between us. I spoke to her briefly of Chakotay, and the dissolution of our relationship. I also mentioned you and Jean-Luc, which pleased her. There are moments when I believe she harbors romantic feelings for me, but at the same time, she is unwilling to acknowledge them. I continue to hope she will be able to explore those feelings, but have yet to devise a concrete plan to bring them into the open. I am attempting to 'play it by ear.'
I promise to write again tomorrow to update you on my progress.
Love,
Seven
She sent the message, and quickly prepared for bed. Setting the regeneration unit to deliver power for one hour, she turned off the lamp. Faint moonlight allowed her to see Kathryn across the room, her form unmoving in the narrow bunk. Her breathing was uneven; she had yet to fall asleep. Seven wondered what she was thinking, but once the regeneration cell began to function, all thought ceased, and she was plunged into darkness.
---
Kathryn stood on the Borg vessel, the sickly green glow illuminating the chamber. The iron taste of fear flooded her mouth, and she choked it back. The Queen stood at the center of the dais, smiling her seductive smile. "Captain," she said, the voice echoing in the room and inside her head. "You've brought me a present."
"No," Kathryn said, panicking. "No."
"But here she is," the Queen said, holding out to her left. Seven of Nine stepped forward out of the shadows, half human, half machine. Borg armor covered her right arm and leg, while her scalp had been shaved to accommodate new implants. The Queen leaned in and kissed Seven on the mouth, and Kathryn's stomach heaved in revulsion.
"No!"
Seven turned to her. "What is wrong, Captain? Will you not join us?"
"I won't. Seven, come home with me, back to Voyager."
"Voyager is no longer my home, Captain. I have found my own way." The Queen's hand drifted possessively down Seven's side to cup her hip, and Kathryn wanted to scream.
"Kathryn!" a voice called, interrupting her cry. It came a second time. "Kathryn, wake up!"
She sat up in the bunk, cognizant of a hand clutching her arm. She yanked herself away from it, falling from the bed in a heap. Sweat stung her eyes. After a moment, the click of a dim lamp reminded her of where she was. Immediately Seven knelt before her, eyes frantic. "Are you damaged?" she asked.
Kathryn tried to catch her breath, still trying to separate herself from the dream. “No,” she said, though she felt an ache in her thigh where she’d fallen. She shook her head, swallowing against the nausea twisting her gut.
Seven reached out to take Kathryn in her arms, but she stiffened against the embrace. Seven didn’t let go, however, murmuring, “Your nightmare has frightened me too. Please, allow us both this comfort, just once.” The plea in Seven’s voice was enough to convince her, though her distress remained. “What did you dream of?” Seven asked, her mouth close to Kathryn’s ear.
Swallowing her horror, Kathryn felt compelled to answer. “The Queen,” she whispered.
Seven’s grip tightened around her. She was nearly in Seven’s lap now, her arms huddled in tightly against her chest. A gentle hand came up to caress her hair, and the sensation was too much. Kathryn finally rested her cheek against Seven’s smooth collarbone. The feeling of it grounded her in reality, and she closed her eyes. Slowly she extracted her arms and slid them loosely around Seven’s waist. One hand skimmed a hip, and she felt for the circuitry she recalled from the dream. None was there; she could only detect muscle and bone beneath the drawstring pants.
Quietly as she could, she inhaled Seven’s scent. Her fingertips crept along the firm muscles of her back, and Kathryn started when she ran across what must have been an implant. Seven sat up straighter, but she did not pull away. Carefully Kathryn traced the metal, searching out the shape of it. Somehow she found herself lifting the soft shirt, fascinated. She’d never before been so close to Seven, nor touched an implant other than those on her hand and the crescent above her eye. But tonight, in the dim light, it felt safe. Necessary.
“It’s all right,” she mumbled for no reason, and Seven relaxed. Lips breathed puffs of air against her temple. The metal she found on Seven’s lower back was smooth and cool to the touch, contrasting with the heat her skin gave off. It wasn’t like the metal near her eye, grooved and bumpy. This felt fused with the flesh. She stroked it, and Seven arched under her touch. She knew it was probably making Seven uncomfortable, but she couldn't stop herself. The dream faded gradually, the terror becoming distant. This was real. Skin and metal blended to make this wonderful being who held her so tenderly.
Her eyes drifted shut, but her fingertips continued along their path. Her head was heavy against Seven’s chest. “Seven,” she said in an attempt to rouse herself.
“Shh,” Seven said, smoothing her hair once more.
---
Seven attempted to control her breathing. Though an innocent touch, the feeling of Kathryn's fingertips sliding along the implant guarding her sacrum was decidedly erotic. Her face flushed with heat as tingles raced down her spine, and lower.
After only a few minutes, the motion stopped, and Kathryn's hand fell away, limp. She was asleep in Seven's arms. Seven bent her face to Kathryn's hair and breathed in her fragrance. It was deliciously human.
Holding Kathryn was as lovely as she'd imagined it to be, even though it took a nightmare to send her into her arms.
Seven sat for as long as she could, until she realized she would neither get her advised amount of sleep, nor would she be able to walk in the morning. Carefully, she lifted Kathryn from the floor, amazed at how light she was. The bedclothes were on the ground, so she laid Kathryn on the mattress gently, positioning her on her side. Quickly she retrieved the duvet, shook it out and covered Kathryn completely. Unable to resist a last touch, she laid her hand against the auburn hair again.
"Seven," Kathryn muttered, her eyes still closed.
She snatched her hand away. With a sigh, she returned to her own bed and shut off the light. Certain she would not sleep, she chose to regenerate a second time, setting her internal chronometer to awaken her at 0500. That would allow plenty of time to complete her preparations.
---
Awareness crept into Kathryn's brain as it registered the unmistakable scent of coffee. Her eyes fluttered open to see a steaming mug on the side table, and next to it, a delicious looking breakfast of toast, eggs and fruit. She sat up and wiped at her eyes, wondering if breakfast in bed was part of the trip every day.
"Good morning, Admiral," Seven said. "You have approximately 15 minutes before we will be called to duty. I hoped you would appreciate the extra time."
"Yes," Kathryn said, her voice still gravelly from sleep. "How are you?"
"I am well," Seven replied, sipping at a thick, green beverage.
Grabbing the coffee mug, Kathryn inhaled, hoping for the best. She took a test gulp, her eyes widening at the taste. "What is this?" she demanded.
Seven blinked. "Coffee, black?"
"Is it real coffee?" Kathryn's brain was already buzzing.
"Of course. From Kona."
"It's wonderful!"
Seven's hesitant expression morphed into a blinding smile that traveled to her eyes. "I am glad."
"God," Kathryn said before taking a second mouthful. "I haven't had the real thing in ages."
Eyebrow raised, Seven said, "I don't know why you refuse to indulge yourself, Kathryn. You're an admiral in Starfleet. You should allow yourself traditional coffee."
Something in Seven's words reminded her of… her dream. The events of the previous night flooded back into her consciousness. Seven holding her close. Murmuring soothing words into her ear. Carrying her to bed. Her smile faded. "Seven," she croaked. "I just remembered--last night, and--"
"You fell back to sleep quickly. Did you rest well afterwards?"
Unable to find words, Kathryn bobbed her head.
"I am pleased. You must not feel badly for awakening me, Kathryn. It was my privilege to be of assistance." She looked down at her hands, almost shy. "I rarely get to indulge my own wishes to… hug. As unpleasant as the circumstances may have been, I enjoyed being near you."
That simple statement stole every trace of embarrassment away from her in an instant. Seven's tone, longing and lonely, struck deep in her heart. "You don't get to--hug--as often as you'd like to?"
"I have not been involved in an intimate relationship for some time. I find that I miss being close to another whom I care for. And as a Borg, I am not always welcomed 'with open arms' by others."
"Former Borg," Kathryn corrected automatically.
"Of course. And while my family is affectionate, we don't tend to cuddle frequently," Seven said with a laugh.
Kathryn laughed as well. "I'll hug you any time you like, Seven." I'd do more than that if I could, she thought.
Seven tilted her head pensively. Kathryn wondered what ideas were running through her mind. "Thank you." She looked away, out the window at the brightening sky. "You must eat. You will need energy."
"Agreed," Kathryn said, picking up her fork.
Half an hour later, they were riding with the wind. Kathryn had reacquainted herself with some of the terminology she'd forgotten, and tried out a few Bowlin knots for safety's sake. The crew was handling most of the work, but it was invigorating to feel the movement of the ship on the water. Seven attached the jib halyard to the head of the sail, and Kathryn began pulling the line to raise it. The wind caught it almost immediately, and Kathryn kept an eye on it to be sure it wouldn't be too tight. The other crew members were relaxed and joking around her, coiling ropes and pulling winches, and as the mainsail on the aft mast went up, the boat picked up tremendous speed.
As they caught a wave, the boat seemed to leave the water for a moment before it crashed back down. After catching her breath, Kathryn threw her head back and laughed. She looked out at the sky, lit by the rising sun and pale pink clouds. "It's beautiful," she shouted to Seven.
The blonde's hair was whipping out of its pins, the wind taking it in every direction. Seven's eyes were bright and excited as she gazed back at Kathryn. "It is," she called back as those around them pulled the lines through pulleys to control their speed. Josiah was at the helm, and it looked as though he was enjoying himself.
"Great day to start your voyage," he yelled to her.
"Absolutely," Kathryn said back. She zipped up her windbreaker a little higher, touching cheeks that felt a little numb. It was amazing, and they'd only been moving for five minutes.
As the hours passed, she began to feel more comfortable adjusting the sails, listening to the commands of Derek and Simon as they shouted back and forth. Her arms felt a little fatigued from working the old-fashioned winches, and she wiped a brow dotted with perspiration. By mid-morning, the day had warmed considerably. Sun beat down on the ship and the crew, and Kathryn looked around for Seven. She was standing at the bow, trimming the jib as Samuel looked on. Kathryn could tell she was listening intently to his instructions, learning all she could about the variables involved in the art of trimming on a sea-faring vessel.
Josiah called her name, and Kathryn headed toward the stern. "In about 15 knots or so we're going to drop sails and have some lunch. We're snorkeling and diving for the afternoon if you want to join us."
Snorkeling? That was news to Kathryn. It sounded divine. "I’ll check with Seven."
The plan was made: eat first, then swim. Things had been far more relaxed then Seven had implied. Getting up at 0530 had convinced Kathryn she was in for a tough haul. But thus far, it was pleasant. More than. She looked over at Seven curiously. Maybe she planned this better than Kathryn believed.
They were let off the hook for lunch today, and Seven offered to assist with the evening meal. Kathryn figured she could at least help out in return. Her lunch was delicious, as was the coffee she continued to guzzle.
After lunch, Simon chose to stay on board while the rest of the crew set up their diving equipment. As Josiah strapped the narrow, deceptively light air canister to his back, he asked, "You two sure you don't want to come with us? There's a reef a little ways away that has some incredible marine life."
"No thank you, Captain," Seven said politely. "We prefer to stay nearby."
"Suit yourself," he grinned. "Let's go, folks." The men and women splashed into the water in sleek wetsuits and goggles, adjusting their flippers before diving out of sight. At the stern, Simon faced outward, reading a book with his feet on the railing. For all intents and purposes, they were alone and could do as they wished.
"Seven, this seems more like a pleasure cruise than a working vacation. Did you know it would be like this?" Kathryn finally asked.
Seven's mouth twisted sweetly. "Yes. I was afraid you would not come with me if you believed it was truly a vacation. You have never been adept at… shore leave."
Kathryn smirked. Seven certainly had her number. "How did you get to know me so well?"
"I have excellent powers of observation," Seven replied.
They went below decks to change, and Kathryn wondered if her bathing suit was appropriate. She hadn't expected to wear it, but it was all she had in storage. God, she hoped it still fit. As she pulled the one piece up, she gazed in the mirror. Not bad, she supposed. She frowned at her rear, wishing gravity hadn't taken a toll, but hell, she was middle-aged. And it didn't matter what she looked like anyhow; Seven was trying to resolve her maternal issues with her former Captain. Seduction should be the last thing on her mind.
The problem was that it was more than just attraction bouncing around in her head, and her heart. Emotions were surfacing that Kathryn had pushed aside for years; they'd bubbled up as soon as she'd set eyes on Seven again. Best not to think about that, Kathryn thought. But she still felt a wire of tension between them, though now instead of a barrier, it felt like a connection. It felt like home, and the idea unnerved her.
Because in a few short days, it would be over, and she'd go back to being alone.
She stepped out of the head and tried to clear her mind. She was going swimming with Seven, and she should enjoy herself. Maybe tomorrow they'd go diving with the rest of the crew and she could show off the skills she'd gained on Mars as a young girl.
Seven was waiting for her in their quarters, towels and a spray can in hand. "Will you allow me to apply your second coat of sunscreen, Admiral?"
With a smile that hid her trepidation, she answered, "I think I can handle it, Seven. Hand it over."
Seven frowned, but did as requested. Kathryn got to work under Seven's scrutiny, and when she was finished, Seven took the can. "You have missed an entire section of your back. Turn around."
With a laugh, Kathryn turned. "I didn't know you were so worried about sunburn, Seven."
"I am in regard to you. I will not allow you to be damaged." Seven quickly applied an even coat to her back, and did her legs again for good measure. She handed the can back. "Besides, I am certain you would be impossible to live with were you to acquire such a burn."
Grinning, Kathryn replied, "You'd be right. Now, how about you?"
"You may do my back as well." With that, Seven removed the shirt she'd been wearing to reveal a simple blue suit that reminded Kathryn of one of her old uniforms. Except it was far more revealing. Quickly Kathryn sprayed the sunscreen on, resisting the impulse to reach for the flawless skin of Seven's back. There she saw the implants shooting out from her lower spine, the ones she'd touched the night before. The draw was too strong, finally, and she pressed a fingertip to one of them.
Seven flinched.
"I'm sorry," Kathryn said, backing away.
"You surprised me," Seven said, turning her head. "I will cover them if you prefer." She began to pull the shirt back on until Kathryn stepped forward.
"Seven, don't. I didn't mean to--I just wanted…" She chewed the inside of her lip, hesitant to say the words. "You're beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful. Even this," Kathryn said, pulling the shirt away once more. She was less afraid to touch now, wanting to prove to Seven she wasn't disgusted. The rivers of silver that stretched across her skin were elegant, and she traced one gently before laying a hand flat across her back. "You never have to hide from me. I promise."
She watched Seven swallow. Looking over her shoulder, she met Kathryn's eyes. Her discomfiture was disturbing. "I will not be able to remove them. The Doctor has done all he can."
"Have you tried?" Kathryn asked quietly.
"Yes. Last year. I believed I had adapted enough, but I was mistaken. I will always require regeneration and maintenance on my implants. I will never be fully human."
"When did removing your implants become the key to your humanity?"
"My imperfections are visible. I can not conceal what I am, or what I was. Although I am well-known among Starfleet and the Federation, I am still… feared by many."
Kathryn frowned and crossed to Seven's bunk, sitting down. "Did something happen to make you feel this way? You've been apart from the Collective for almost nine years. You seemed so adjusted on Voyager."
Seven shook her head slowly. Kathryn wanted to kick herself. How could she not have realized how difficult it would be for her? "Earth is not a starship, Kathryn. Not everyone is so accepting. It took years for some crew members on Voyager to become used to my presence, but on the ship I had my own concerns to deal with. I do not have that luxury here." She paused, her gaze unfocused. "Admiral Nechayev wanted to have both Icheb and myself dissected upon Voyager's return, of course." Seven delivered the statement as though it were a reasonable request.
"That situation was handled rather quickly, if I recall," Kathryn said, her voice low. She'd put a stop to it personally, with a few well-placed calls above Nechayev's head.
"And only last year, I attempted to form a friendship with a woman in the Propulsion Group. She… rejected me. It was not the first time."
Kathryn wondered if there was something else Seven wasn't telling her.
"In any event, I can not alter my appearance any further. I have learned to accept it." She clasped her hands in front of her. "You are one of the few who has never shamed me for my history, Kathryn. I will be forever grateful."
"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Seven. Sometimes I think the day you came to us--" Kathryn stumbled over the word. This was important: she had to be honest. "Came to me, was one of the luckiest days of my life."
Seven's face changed. She didn't smile, but the pain vanished. It felt so good to say the right thing.
---
Seven blinked quickly, unwilling to move for fear the tears would fall from her eyes. Hearing those words somehow made all the efforts, all the planning, all the pain she'd gone through, worth it. No matter how things turned out between them, this would be enough.
"I feel the same," she replied, her voice breaking.
Kathryn stood and moved toward her, arms opening. Seven hesitantly stepped close, allowing the Admiral's arms to come around her. Eyes shut, Seven took a deep breath and held it, wanting the embrace to last forever. She felt Kathryn's hands travel down her back, and this time she didn't flinch. It felt wonderful.
"I'm glad you found me, Seven," Kathryn said softly.
Seven didn't know exactly what she meant, but right now, she didn't care.
The details of the moment would stay forever in her mind's eye; the glow of ambient light on auburn hair, the warmth of her body, the scents of cocoa butter and coffee. Kathryn leaned back in her arms and looked up, her eyes dark. She brushed a hand across Seven's cheek.
I love you, Seven thought. Always.
"Want to go for a swim?" Kathryn asked, her deep tones betraying the levity of the question.
With a nod, Seven answered, "I am ready." The intensity inside the room lifted, but she felt a depth to her bond with Kathryn that had been absent thus far. A hand trailed down Seven’s arm as they separated, and Seven felt tingles in the wake of the touch.
Upstairs, they fitted themselves with the small breathing apparatuses used for snorkeling. Kathryn looked amusing with her mask affixed to her face, a big smile below it. “Don’t worry, you look as ridiculous as I do,” she said slyly. “Let’s do it.”
Their preparations completed, Kathryn jumped from the side of the boat, splashing into the clear blue water of the ocean. Seven waved to Simon, who said, “Give me a shout if you need anything.”
Seven nodded and went to the side. She stepped off the boat holding the breathing tube and flippers in her hand. Once she surfaced, she adjusted the flippers to fit her feet as Kathryn did the same. By the time she had finished, Kathryn was waiting for her, the tube already in her mouth. Seven followed suit and tested it out. Satisfied it was working, she locked eyes with Kathryn, who gave a quick nod of the head before disappearing beneath the surface.
Moments later she was submerged, amazed at the beauty of the underwater world. She trailed after Kathryn, who had spied a small school of yellow fish. Healthy colonies of coral were about fifteen meters down, but for now, she would content herself on keeping up with her “diving buddy.” Her flippers propelled her forward at great speed and she caught up in a few seconds. Behind the mask she could see how cheerful Kathryn’s expression was. She had once heard the Captain tell a story about cave diving on Mars, though she never got the chance to hear the end of the tale due to a red alert breaking in.
Time passed, and soon Kathryn pointed north. Seven zoomed in on the location, accessing the name of the creatures from her cortical implant. A number of Loggerhead sea turtles, binomial name Caretta caretta, were ambling along the coral ridge about fifty meters away, and Kathryn waved to her. She could practically hear the words, “Hurry up!” They took off, careful not to attract too much attention to themselves. Seven pulled the waterproof holoimager from her belt and waited until they drew closer. One of the turtles noticed Kathryn but seemed undisturbed, continuing its exploration of the reef. They were nearly above them now, and Seven captured several images. Kathryn drifted down, never reaching out to touch, but one of the smaller turtles became curious. It glided up, and for a few moments, they were face to face. Seven eagerly snapped four photos in quick succession. Kathryn looked over at Seven, her smile visible even with the breathing apparatus in her mouth. Seven took another for good measure.
Eventually they moved off, never going too far from the boat. Seven captured dozens of images, most of Kathryn, and a handful of sea life. After close to two hours, she sensed it was time for them to head back. She pointed upwards, and Kathryn nodded. Moments later, they broke the surface. Kathryn pulled off her mask with a laugh. She was glowing. “Fantastic!”
“Indeed,” Seven replied, treading water.
Seven retrieved what Kathryn called “floaties” from the boat for them to drift in the current, gazing onto the horizon. As much as Seven had planned this excursion to benefit Kathryn, she found herself enjoying it as well. Being on the water was peaceful, as was having someone to share it with.
As the contentment settled over her, she laid her head back and closed her eyes.
Someone shook her. “Seven,” a husky voice said. “Let’s go in. Josiah’s here.”
Seven blinked in the waning light. “Kathryn,” she said glancing over at the sun-kissed face. She was so lovely.
Kathryn laid a hand on her arm. “Come on.”
Still sleepy, Seven sat up. “All right.”
The chill of the water jarred her fully back to consciousness. She made her way up the ladder after Kathryn, shivering slightly. Though her temperature was regulated by her nanoprobes, the water had cooled her implants. She was unused to being in water for such an extended period of time, and combined with her unexpected nap, her body temperature had dropped.
She followed Kathryn down into their room, gritting her teeth. Kathryn said, “Go ahead, Seven. You can shower first.”
“No, Kathryn. You may go.”
Glancing over her shoulder, Seven recognized the expression. “Seven, you’re freezing.” She smirked. “Consider that an order.”
Unable to prevent a grin from tipping her lips, Seven answered, “I will comply.”
Moments later she was under the old fashioned water stream, grateful for the heat. Her muscles were pleasantly fatigued. The scent of eucalyptus relaxed her even further, and she looked forward to putting together a pleasant meal for the crew.
When she emerged from the head, Kathryn was reclining on the bed, reading a PADD. “Your turn,” she said.
“Thanks,” Kathryn replied. She tapped the PADD briefly as Seven put away her toiletries. She gathered her own things as Seven towel-dried her hair.
“I will be preparing dinner with Simon,” she said. “We’re grilling steaks. Is that acceptable? I will be happy to make something else for you.”
“Oh god,” Kathryn groaned. “Steak. I can’t wait. But aren’t I supposed to be helping you?”
“It’s all right, Kathryn. I am proficient in the kitchen. Perhaps you can fix… something simple for breakfast tomorrow.”
“So you have a long memory, eh?” Kathryn said with a smile.
“The smell of burnt pasta has not yet left my olfactory senses,” she said, recalling one particularly disastrous incident. After two years on Voyager, even Neelix’s worst concoction couldn’t rival the scent of pasta in a pot well after the water had boiled away.
Kathryn laughed heartily. “My mother would kill me if she knew. Please, Seven, don’t ever tell her about that. I’d never hear the end of it.”
“I shall keep your secret,” Seven said, hoping that meant that she would meet Gretchen Janeway once more.
She brushed her hair out for a few more minutes, preparing to meet with the crew. To her surprise, she heard humming coming from the bathroom. At first she thought Kathryn was speaking to her from inside the shower. But after a moment, she realized that Kathryn was singing. Seven adjusted her cranial implant to pick up the sound more clearly, but she didn't recognize the song. Only that it was slightly out of tune. She wondered if Kathryn had sung in the shower for all the years she'd been on Voyager, and if anyone else on the ship knew.
In the galley, she and Simon worked efficiently to fix the meal. She chopped dozens of vegetables for skewers to go on the grill, while Simon seasoned the meat. Another crew member called Atal, a Bajoran, mashed traditional russet potatoes. According to Josiah, meat and potatoes were good for sailors.
Less than an hour later, dinner was served. Kathryn dug in with gusto, inhaling the first half of her meal before slowing down to match Seven's pace. "It's delicious. My compliments to the chefs," she said between bites.
"Thanks, Admiral. Seven's quite the cook, isn't she."
She looked in Seven's direction. "Still?" Kathryn said.
Simon raised his eyebrows. "She diced all the vegetables in five minutes flat. And there were a lot.”
There was a collective “woo” around the table. “Girl’s got knife skills!”
Embarrassed, Seven said nothing. She had an unfair advantage compared to average humans; with her left hand, she could do everything faster. But when she found Kathryn watching her, she was struck by the pride in her eyes. An elegant hand lifted a glass in silent toast, and Seven hid a smile.
---
Leaning back in her chair, her dessert plate empty, Kathryn felt sated and warm. The glass of port was working its magic, and she was comfortable in the presence of her fellow sailors. And Seven… Well, her hair was down, her cheeks rosy, and she laughed more than Kathryn had ever heard before. It had been the perfect day. Her anxieties had fallen away, and even though Kathryn knew it was temporary, she was grateful.
Conversation was quiet, and the group had dwindled to five. Seven caught her eye and asked, “Would you care to go above deck?”
Kathryn nodded. She refilled her glass halfway before heading back to the room to grab a jacket. Seven followed suit, and a few minutes later they sat close together in deck chairs, gazing at a sliver of moon. The sky was filled with stars, and Kathryn named the constellations to herself.
The moments crept by. Kathryn sipped at her wine, noticing that Seven had made herself an Irish coffee. “Coffee, Seven. I’m surprised.”
“It is decaffeinated,” she said wryly.
“Never thought you’d come over to the dark side.”
There was a pause. “It brings back good memories,” Seven finally replied.
Kathryn didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. She shivered in her jacket, pulling it closer to her neck. Cool air caressed her face while a gentle breeze lifted her hair.
The moon slowly shifted in the sky as Kathryn reveled in the quiet companionship. Although it was early, she was tired.
“Seven?”
“Yes, Kathryn?”
“Have I thanked you for this?”
“No, Kathryn.”
She reached out, grazing Seven’s left hand. It turned over in her grasp and their fingers threaded together. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
They stayed that way for a long time, until Kathryn’s eyes began to slip shut. Seven pulled softly on her hand, whispering, “Time to sleep. Come along.”
She blinked, standing unsteadily. Seven led her down the narrow steps, their hands still joined. Once in their room, Seven unzipped Kathryn’s jacket. Kathryn lifted her head as a sudden heat suffused her; the gesture felt oddly intimate. The coat slipped off her arms, and Seven folded it and laid it on the narrow dresser. She returned to Kathryn a moment later. “Good night, Kathryn.”
“Night,” she managed. Uncertain of what to do, she followed her instincts. Stepping into the circle of Seven’s arms, she was gratified by the returned embrace. Soft lips touched her temple, and the blush in her cheeks deepened.
When Seven moved away to the other side of the room, Kathryn felt bereft. Aimlessly, she prepared for bed. Seven slipped between the sheets of her bed across the room. The quiet whirr of the regeneration unit started, and with that, Seven was gone. Kathryn sat at the side of her bunk and watched the still form. Her features were peaceful.
Touching Seven was becoming a habit, one that Kathryn was going to have a problem breaking. Better not to get too attached, she reminded herself.
It was a long time before sleep came.
---
Seven's eyes opened at 0500, and she sat up in her bunk. She could see clearly that Kathryn lay sleeping, but the covers were thrown haphazardly on the floor, as were the pillows. She was sprawled on her belly, obviously cold. Seven frowned. She did not approve of her former captain's sleeping habits. Or lack thereof. Quietly she crept across the small space and retrieved the blanket as she had the night before. But before she placed it over Kathryn, she saw the dark circles visible beneath her eyes, as well as a well-worn frown line deep in her brow. Seven wished she would share her burden. They had talked more in the last three days than they had over five years, but still Seven wanted more. Maybe she wanted too much-that the time and space between them would vanish instantly. But she'd felt her attachment to Kathryn firm and solidify being in her presence. Holding her last night, just brushing her skin with her lips had been heaven. So much so that she felt a need to break away instead of asking for more. Kathryn wasn't ready, and perhaps Seven wasn't either.
She replaced the covers atop Kathryn, who didn't move. She made a decision to allow her extra sleep. There was no need to continue the charade that they had to live by a particular schedule.
But Seven would keep to her regular time. She had slept enough, and regenerated her allotted hour. A little sustenance and she would be ready to continue their journey.
Two hours later, as Seven stood at the side of the boat watching the waves, she heard Kathryn clamber up the steps. She was gripping the mug Seven had given her yesterday. "Why didn't you wake me?" she asked irritably.
"There was no need. You required further rest."
"I didn't," she said gruffly.
Seven recognized this mood. Kathryn needed to eat, right away. "Come below. I will fix your breakfast."
"I don't need you to make me every meal, Seven. Even I can fix a bowl of cereal," she grumbled.
"Then I suggest you do so. I do not want to have to explain your bad temper to Josiah and the crew."
Kathryn's mouth set in a firm line. "I don't have a bad temper." But when she turned and departed, Seven breathed a sigh of relief. Too often she had seen Kathryn work through meals on Voyager, and it never ended well. It wasn't as bad as caffeine deprivation, but it ran a close second.
Fifteen minutes later, Kathryn returned. Her color had improved. As she looked more closely, Seven smiled at the bright freckles that had sprung up across the Admiral's cheeks and nose. They were charming.
"Hi," she said.
"Good morning, Kathryn."
"Sorry," she said.
"Apology accepted." She motioned for Kathryn to join her. "Today the Captain suggested that we go diving. Apparently yesterday was a highly successful endeavor. Would you like to go?"
"Absolutely."
"Excellent. I will inform him." She peered at Kathryn's face intently. "Are you well, Kathryn?"
Kathryn stared out at the water, focused on the clouds in the distance. She nodded absently. "Do you need me this morning?" she asked.
"We have the ship well in hand, if that's what you're asking," Seven replied.
"I might go up top for a little while," she said, gesturing to the crow's nest at the top of the main mast.
"As you wish."
Seven watched as she climbed the ladder to the small, partly enclosed watch post. It went unmanned most of the time, since the ship had advanced sensors to detect any ships in the vicinity. But it was present because of tradition, and Seven hoped that some time alone would help Kathryn resolve her difficulties.
What had happened between last night and this morning? She thought about their evening together, considering it pleasant and comfortable. The attraction simmered between them, but not overwhelmingly so. Nothing had been said or done that needed to be explained away.
But they had touched. Embraced. Seven's face fell. Kathryn was retreating. Seven sighed. So much for making things easy on both of them. She would have to allow this small setback. In the afternoon they would be part of a group, so any tension would be lessened. Seven would remain at a distance this evening as well.
Tomorrow would be another story.
---
Kathryn felt clearer after her few hours in the crow's nest. She had needed time away from Seven's attention for a while; it was starting to annoy her. Why must she always be so generous, so understanding? So accommodating? It was going to be hard enough to go back to real life. She didn't have to make it worse by being wonderful.
Kathryn was just going to resist the other woman's charms. It wouldn't be so hard. She'd done it for years on Voyager. She just had to see herself as the Captain again, and everything would be fine.
"So, Admiral, ready to go on a dive?" Simon asked. "I'm going--Sandy is staying behind today."
"I can't wait. It's been a long time for me. I used to cave dive on Mars, years ago."
He looked impressed. "That can be dangerous, I hear."
"I've done my share of dangerous things," she said, a note of flirtation entering her voice. He grinned appreciatively. Over his shoulder, she saw that Seven was not smiling. "Diving, Seven? You coming?"
"Of course," she replied coolly. "I have prepared your equipment."
Kathryn chewed the inside of her cheek, fighting down the remark on the tip of her tongue. I can do it myself, she thought. Instead, she said, "Thank you. I'll be right back."
Quickly she changed her clothes, retrieving the suit from yesterday. She pulled it on and covered her skin with sunscreen again, cursing her fair complexion. Her freckles had come out with a vengeance, but there was no hiding it here.
She emerged ready to go, or so she thought. Seven, on the other hand, seemed to have forgotten half her suit. Today she was clothed in a pair of the shortest shorts she'd ever seen, with her diving belt strapped snugly about her waist. A bikini top covered her breasts, but Kathryn spied an inch or two of delicious curve peeking out in profile.
Kathryn swallowed. She clamped down on the arousal that betrayed itself through her body's physical reaction. Quickly she pulled a dive shirt on and shook her head. "Seven," she said, her voice huskier than she liked, "Are you sure you want to wear that on a dive?"
"I find it comfortable. I do not believe I shall offend the fish," she said in return.
"You won't offend any of us either," Derek said with an approving look on his face. "I thought your implants would look bizarre, but I gotta say, I kinda like 'em. On you they look like art."
Seven bowed her head graciously. "Thank you."
Momentarily Kathryn was enraged. She wanted to cover Seven’s body and preserve her from the leering looks of the sailors on board. No one else should have the luxury of enjoying Seven’s body except her.
Kathryn stood straighter for a moment. Where had that thought come from? Seven wasn't, nor would she ever be, hers. Kathryn could admire, even care for, from afar. But she had no hold over Seven's behavior. Seven had said herself that she had tried to form romantic attachments, but that she had been unsuccessful. She deserved to find love, even if it was in the arms of someone else. It stung bitterly, the thought of never being with Seven, but it was worse to think of Seven spending the rest of her life in solitude. Perhaps one of the crew here could help Seven along on her journey. Derek seemed like a sweet man. Who knows, Kathryn thought. Maybe they'll get to know one another. I could always give them a push in the right direction.
“We found a pod of dolphins yesterday, and the sensors indicate they may have traveled this way last night. Obviously we’re not looking too hard, but we’re just hoping for some good luck. Everyone ready?” Josiah asked.
There was a collective assent, and the group disembarked down the ladder one by one. Seven hovered close by, but Kathryn ignored her presence and stuck by Simon. They swam for about ten minutes, pointing and studying schools of fish as they came upon them. Eventually they began their descent, dropping a few meters at a time. It was chilly, and Kathryn was relieved she’d worn a dive shirt and shorts. She glanced over at Seven in her bikini and hoped she’d be warm enough. Seeming to sense Kathryn’s attention, Seven looked in her direction and gave her best underwater smile. A moment later, Seven had the holoimager in her hand, and she took a photo. Kathryn waved, but her stomach felt hollow.
Something had changed. Kathryn felt lonelier than ever, just being in Seven’s presence. They’d had such a lovely day yesterday. This morning, she’d woken up in the world’s rottenest mood. Meanwhile, Seven had looked glorious, tanned and fit, her muscles practically glowing in the sun. Behind the anonymity of her mask, desire sparked low in Kathryn’s belly. She allowed a subtle appraisal of her…friend. Kathryn didn’t even know what to call her now. Seven wasn’t a crew member, wasn’t family, wasn’t anything, really. More than a friend, but less than…a lover.
What might it be like to be Seven’s lover? To be able to hold her close, to run her fingers along the line of her neck, traveling just behind her ear. To freely explore the sweet curve of her hip, the gentle crests and valleys of her belly, to trail fingernails up the backs of muscled thighs…
With a jolt Kathryn realized she’d drifted lower than she should have, and adjusted the weight on her belt to bring her back in line with the rest of the group. She cursed her lack of concentration and swam away from Seven, searching for Simon.
Soon, the group ascended some distance from the ship. The pod of dolphins they’d sought was nearby, with most members resting in the daylight hours. But as the crew approached, they woke and swam happily around them. Kathryn laughed, studying the animals as they frolicked together. She held out a hand, touching their skin when they were close enough, but didn't seek further contact. A few meters ahead, she saw Seven in what appeared to be close communication with one of the dolphins. The animal was “speaking” to Seven, prodding her hand with a insistent nose. Finally, with seeming trepidation, Seven reached out and petted the creature. Kathryn marveled at her gentleness, her respect and care. Against her will, tears stung Kathryn’s eyes, and she listened to the steadiness of her breath as it whistled inside her mask.
Finally they emerged above the surface. Kathryn floated for a moment, gazing into the almost shocking blue of the sky. It was a gorgeous day. She closed her eyes while the crew splashed, talking about the incredible sights they’d seen. Melancholy had set in fully by this time, and Kathryn felt powerless against it. Simon was nearby, and she called out, “I’m heading back, okay?”
“Hey, wait up. You should have a buddy.”
“I can see the ship, I’ll be fine,” she assured him. It wasn’t far, and she wanted a few minutes alone.
The flippers propelled her through the water, and she used the breathing apparatus to allow her to move even faster beneath the surface. She drove herself hard, feeling the burn in her arms and lungs as she raced closer to the schooner. Bursting above the water, she tore the breather from her mouth and inhaled the fresh air. The mask came off next, and she dipped her head back to rinse her face. The water felt cool and clean on her overheated skin.
She didn't think she was going to last a week doing this. Relaxing just wasn't in her nature. Maybe tomorrow she'd talk to Seven.
---
Part III