Ten pounds of stupid in a five-pound bag

[visionari]

Did you know that if you take birth control pills, your uterus is littered with itty-bitty fetus corpses?

Yeah, neither did anybody else. Lucky for us, though, Pastor Kevin Swanson is here to set us straight!

Comments

[spaceship505]

Gobsmacked, that would be an accurate description of me right now.

[visionari]

Either he's forgotten about the whole menstrual cycle thing, or he believes that the itty-bitty dead fetuses burrow through the uterine lining so as not to be sloughed off every month. Very clever, those itty-bitty dead fetuses.

[spaceship505]

Or maybe he's not stupid and just hopes to convince those that are. But my money is on those very clever itty-bitty dead fetuses ;)

Gotta say, I kinda have to laugh now at the thought of our wombs being graveyards full of dead fetuses like he said. The whole idea is just so preposterous that I can't imagine it looking any different from the way the afterlife is envisioned in Corpse Bride. You know, brightly coloured and full a jazz ;)

[april_ethereal_]

I don't know about yours, but mine's totally like that.

*snort*

[l_o_lostshadows]

Yes, I totally believe real scientists were involved in this "research" /sarcasm

I think someone needs to sit this guy down and explain the menstrual cycle to him. In explicit detail. With diagrams. While he's eating.

[cassandraterra]

And with free samples.

[silverwing84]

That reminds me of this time a few years ago when I was at a Ray's Pizza with my friends after a show and we were talking about bloody period sex and this guy at the table next to us had this huge calzone completely covered in chunky marinara sauce.

The look on his face was priceless and that incident still makes me laugh my ass off!

[snarky__cat]

Hah!!

[nyxalinth]

I love how all these men coming up with this shit think they're experts on how FEMALE bodies work.

Or, they don't really believe the crap they spout, and are intending to rope in the gullible.

[genkireirei]

So... since I abstain from sex completely, how in the hell do I have these fetuses? Yes, I'm on birth control, no I don't have sex.

[umlautless]

Perhaps your birth control is laced with sperm, simultaneously impregnating you and killing your tiny fetuses?

Or, obviously you are lying because only slutty sluts use birth control?

...

That was really painful for me to type. Just so we're clear.

[thediva_laments]

I was almost crying with laughter at that one, nicely done.

Btw, genkireirei my husband suggested that perhaps you have immaculately conceived fetii? At least I'm guessing that's what Pastor I'm not a Doctor would tell you.

[nikoel]

Pastor I'm not a Doctor made me LOL! I want to start using that.

Governor I'm-Not-A-Doctor
Senator I'm-Not-A-Doctor
Congressman I'm-Not-A-Doctor

[auntiesiannan]

Oh noes, the fetuses, they are clinging to my endometrium like tiny fruit bats! GET THEM OUUUUUUUT!

[majorenglishesq]

Fucking laughing so hard right now oh my ffffffuck.

[auntiesiannan]

FETAL BARNACLES! SCRAPE THEM OFF! GAHHHH!

[thediva_laments]

You win the internet. That was awesome.

It's all over folks. Pack it up, we can go home now.